Safe as a Solo Woman?

joya · Post by **joya** » Mon Aug 09, 2004 12:42 pm

Alright, I need to hear some opinons here. Yes, I am aware that there will always be unsafe situations no matter where in the world you are... and that it is good to be aware and prepared, etc., etc.

But, how wise is it for a single woman to travel to and attend burning man by herself??? (Assuming she is an intelligent, highly capable individual)

Consider, if you are a woman... would you go by yourself? And men, how would you feel if your younger sister, your daughter, or your mother told you SHE was going to go by herself?

I apologize if this question has been asked and answered before. I can assure you I did search the forum, but I've been know to be wrong. ;)~

Thank you in advance for your two cents.

(I really have a lot of considering / planning to do. My previously-scheduled BM companion and I parted ways a few hours ago... and I have decided I AM gonna burn, but I just gotta figure out how to go it alone.)

joya

Icepack · Post by **Icepack** » Mon Aug 09, 2004 12:46 pm

I think it would be totally safe. It might be more fun, or less depressing, to make plans to camp with a theme camp or other campers. Might also give you peace of mind to be with other folks- less worrying about your stuff getting stolen while you are off exploring the city etc. Would also make it easier to get your tent set up and stuff like that. But safety wise, I think you will be completely okay. Go for it!

diggum · Post by **diggum** » Mon Aug 09, 2004 1:14 pm

I agree. Be wary, as one should in any situation, but go and have a beautiful time. You may want to look into camping with the Solo collective which is all lone travellers, men and women. If you're in a situation that doesn't feel right, try to move to where people are, or ask some passing, friendly looking folks if you can walk with them for a bit.

PurplMyst · Post by **PurplMyst** » Mon Aug 09, 2004 1:16 pm

I went as a solo woman last year & didn't have any problems. I set up my little camp by myself pretty quickly & made friends with my neighbors. However, just to be safe I didn't drink at any of the bars & I didn't accept food/drinks from random people (except for that delicious watermelon Otter Pop). I had an amazing time & I highly recommend the solo trip.

Dork · Post by **Dork** » Mon Aug 09, 2004 1:34 pm

How would I feel about my sister or hypothetical future daughter going alone? Pretty much the same as if she were going with a group. One good and bad thing about the event is there's really nowhere to hide. Population density is high and there's no trees or hills to hide behind. Even on the open playa you can only wait so long before someone will wander across you.

That's not to say there's no way for a woman to be taken advantage of, just that it's not like you're going to get trapped inside a soundproof hotel room or out in the wilderness where nobody can hear you.

If you're at all social you should be able to hook up with other women when going out to wander or dance.

The only extra precautions necessary for going alone are to make real sure you have some sort of shade, all of the basic stuff you need, and make sure your car is able to get there safely.

joya · Post by **joya** » Mon Aug 09, 2004 1:55 pm

Icepack, digs, purple and dork -- thank you all for your feedback. All good things to hear, as I was determined to go regardless, but wanted some reassurance. .... now I have a shitload of stuff to do....

Any more suggestions (from anyone) feel free to send me a private message or email at joyalexa250 (at) yahoo

xoxxo joya

Stormy · Post by **Stormy** » Mon Aug 09, 2004 3:30 pm

I had a friend camp solo one year and she had a great time. She even hooked up with one of her neighbors and dated him for several months after the event. I used to go camping at places like Harbin Hot Springs on my own. I think it's easier to meet new people when you're on your own, rather than in a group of people you already know. Agreed on watch your drinks and you should have a great time.

Icepack · Post by **Icepack** » Tue Aug 10, 2004 6:59 am

diggum wrote:I agree. Be wary, as one should in any situation, but go and have a beautiful time. You may want to look into camping with the Solo collective which is all lone travellers, men and women. If you're in a situation that doesn't feel right, try to move to where people are, or ask some passing, friendly looking folks if you can walk with them for a bit.

Solo Collective grew last year to over 250 people. This year the group has split up into smaller camps. You will find some of us in Burning Friends and others in other groups across the playa. Solo Collective lives on as a group online, but the camps have split up into smaller ones for 2004.

Sensei · Post by **Sensei** » Tue Aug 10, 2004 3:24 pm

Last year, I had three solo female burners as neighbors out in walk-in. Two were first timers but safety was definitely a concern for all three. I applaude joya for starting this thread; might make a good sticky. Not too bad for a rookie.

BUMP.

joya · Post by **joya** » Wed Aug 11, 2004 6:14 am

aw shucks, Sensei...

purrrrrrrrrrrrr ;)

Casteen · Post by **Casteen** » Wed Aug 11, 2004 2:11 pm

I'm going to echo was has already been said, that solo women are reasonably safe. I would have no qualms about camping solo if I wasn't involved with a themecamp. The primary advantage to camping with other are pooling resources; as long as you stay reasonably aware, you should be fine. If you do decide to join a camp, Camp Amazon (the small unofficial "warrior woman" themecamp I organize) is always welcoming new tribe members. I'm sure other camps are still welcoming people, too.

PetsUntilEaten · Post by **PetsUntilEaten** » Tue Aug 17, 2004 11:32 pm

better late than never -

Ditto. I might add that my concerns are less about my personal safety than my family & friends knowing if something did happen. (That may be arrogance, stupidity or both.) To that end I might suggest that your neighbors will likely become instant friends - but perhaps you'd share your contact info with them should you need them to use it in an emergency.

my two cents.

Steven bradford · Post by **Steven bradford** » Wed Aug 18, 2004 3:10 am

I would say there are likely fewer co-ed places/events/communities that a solo woman could participate in.

Admittedly a male perspective, but i'm basing that on the comfort level women I've attended with have demonstrated.

I'd worry more about your personal safety (ie, getting plastered and falling under a vehicle) than in safety related to advances by others, violent or sexual.

Gothalot · Post by **Gothalot** » Wed Aug 18, 2004 7:46 am

Safe? I'd say most certainly. Hey look at this way, most the females that can handle the harsh environment of the desert and Burning Man are pretty damn tough no nonsense women. They do it without loosing their feminine charm too. My hats off to the females of Burning Man. Most of them are pretty damn awesome!

heat · Post by **heat** » Wed Aug 18, 2004 8:14 am

I had a fabulous opening experience attending single and solo - indeed! Even during '99, the last crazy-ass anything-goes year (not that it's still not crazy and fun, just more sensible) - I felt safer than anywhere and I travel the country solo for business. Where else could I wander around my 'hood butt ass nekkid if I wanted to and feel safe?
Clearly if you dose too hard, drink too hard, suck face with every third stranger in a yahoo-ish camp, etc., you may end up compromised!
Use your head and you'll be able to lose it safely.

Rian Jackson · Post by **Rian Jackson** » Wed Aug 18, 2004 8:19 am

for drink covering, see evil Fred Meyer.
they have children's 'sippy cups' with a cover and a straw built into the handle.
carabiner them to yourself when they're empty; they shouldn't spill when they're full.
they're also quite cheap.

dj big E · Post by **dj big E** » Wed Aug 18, 2004 11:04 pm

I would say the most dangerous thing about bm is the road trip theyre and back. Don't push yourself to hard. I am not sure were your coming from. But if you get tired pull over and take a nap. I come up from las vegas and basically it is two lanes the whole way can be dangerous if you're tired. Hope to see you on the playa.

Wdodge · Post by **Wdodge** » Thu Aug 19, 2004 1:41 pm

Joya,
As a single male attending alone to my first real burn. I too have thought about safety. I have to agree with what everone has said. You go girl!!! You'll have ablast.
Wdodge

theCryptofishist · Post by **theCryptofishist** » Mon Aug 15, 2005 2:12 pm

this could do with a revisit.

Chai Guy · Post by **Chai Guy** » Tue Aug 16, 2005 12:47 am

Good on ya' fishy!

A couple of things here for newbies, both male and female.

1. Burning Man can be a sexually charged place. It's up to you to set your own boundaries and to communicate and enforce those boundaries.

2. Ask permission FIRST! Just because someone is naked does not mean they want you to touch them.

3. It's ok to look, but please don't stare.

4. When asking permission be prepared to take NO for an answer gracefully.

5. If you at any time feel threatened or uncomfortable feel free to say "NO" forcefully, loudly and often.

6. If your "NO" is not being heard yell repeatedly "RANGER", "RANGER" will likely be taken more seriously than other traditional cries for help such as "Fire" for obvious reasons. If a "Ranger" is not in earshot people will know right away that you need help and will come to your aid, or at the very least help summon a Ranger for you.

7. If none of the above is working, RUN. Get to a crowd, or theme camp or well lit place, find people and communicate your problem "THIS PERSON IS BOTHERING ME AND WON'T LEAVE ME ALONE!"

8. Even if you're "solo" having a "buddy" is always a good idea.

9. Control your drink at all times.

10. Maintain a level of sobriety that will allow for your personal safety at all times.

Do not underestimate the power of the community nor the people who would seek to exploit it.

geekster · Post by **geekster** » Tue Aug 16, 2005 1:21 am

And always have condoms, rubber gloves, dental dams, clamps, forceps, ripsaw, towchain and icepick handy, just in case. A morning after pill if you feel it is possible you might be tempted by some male specimen might not be a bad investment either. I am, of course, being sarcastic, but being prepared never hurt either. It can certainly make some options available to you should the situation arise that you hadn't planned on.

Safe as a Solo Woman?

Safe as a Solo Woman?

hell yeah!

THE roads