Top Asshats of 2011 Burning Man

[bigbluedoggy]

~The asshat chick who was trying to get people to do the Wave right before Temple Burn. People just werent cooperating and she couldnt figure out why. Research much, asshat?

maybe her dead great grandfather invented The Wave.

Said asshat chick was about 25 feet from us. She seemed astonished when only about 20 people directly in front of her would cooperate. I suspect most of them were her friends.

[BBadger]

Now, I'll freely admit that when I told him to turn the damn pointer off, I was no longer being polite, but I was PISSED after watching all of these idiots nearly blind people with their dangerously overpowered pointers ( some of them were near 1 watt in output).

I'll admit I brought an overpowered laser module and used it on occasion while at camp alone on a scaffolding tower, and in line at the gates. I sure as hell made sure that even as I was putting the battery in the thing was aimed upwards away from anything or anyone; it stayed like that while in use (5-10 seconds), and also while the batteries were being removed subsequently in case of an inadvertent connection. Later on I decided to keep it unused in the backpack practically the remainder of the trip lest it encourage people to show off theirs in response to seeing it. People were shining those things all over the fucking place, and in moments I'd see them get even remotely close to eye level I'd close my eyes lest I lose my vision to their dumbassery. When about 10 people were trying to light the horse on fire with combined beams I also looked away; those Class 4 lasers can blind from non-specular reflections depending the power densities.

[rikslut]

Now, I'll freely admit that when I told him to turn the damn pointer off, I was no longer being polite, but I was PISSED after watching all of these idiots nearly blind people with their dangerously overpowered pointers ( some of them were near 1 watt in output).

You wouldn't happen to be the guy yelling "douche" at people and their lasers, would you?

[bluesbob]

Everyone between 2:01 and 9:59

[BBadger]

Now, I'll freely admit that when I told him to turn the damn pointer off, I was no longer being polite, but I was PISSED after watching all of these idiots nearly blind people with their dangerously overpowered pointers ( some of them were near 1 watt in output).

You wouldn't happen to be the guy yelling "douche" at people and their lasers, would you?

The problem with that is those morons would probably not hesitate to light you up with their "saber."

[C.f.M.]

There was quite a bit of LASERS OFF, LASERS OFF chanting. Nevermind how it is disrespectful or tacky, it's just childish and stupid.

But then...well, nevermind. Sorry about your small peni.

[Drawingablank]

I just want to say FU to the asshat who kept going into our storage tent and raiding our cooler for bottles of water - we had plenty of water to spare and would have given anyone who needed and asked a whole 2 1/2 gallon suitcase.

We started the week with thirty 20 ounce bottles which we were refilling from the suitcases and keeping in the cooler for convenience when in camp. By Wednesday we were down to 4 bottles and I had to actually start locking the cooler before we were down to having to use the camelbacks when in camp.

I guess the bright side is that at least they weren't stealing our beer although we had plenty of that to offer as well - we only drank 8 cases so had several left to donate on exodus.

[dandelion]

There was one really rude guy that wandered into our camp demanding our entire bottle of whisky. I instead poured him a shot, then he started asking all these strange questions and being super rude while my boyfriend was napping in the hammock two feet away. He eventually got the hint to leave. Come to think of it, we had quite a few that would wander in expecting too much.

[GeorgeWompington]

This was my first year, and I was pretty put off some of the non-virgin burners holier than thou attitude. Especially the second timers, they seem to think think they own the place.

Next year I am not going to ask anyone if it's their first burn. Who cares? Live in the moment.

[Elderberry]

I think after noticing that this was habitual theft, I would have laced all the bottles with laxatives and kept them looking nice and cold and inviting.

I just want to say FU to the asshat who kept going into our storage tent and raiding our cooler for bottles of water - we had plenty of water to spare and would have given anyone who needed and asked a whole 2 1/2 gallon suitcase.

We started the week with thirty 20 ounce bottles which we were refilling from the suitcases and keeping in the cooler for convenience when in camp. By Wednesday we were down to 4 bottles and I had to actually start locking the cooler before we were down to having to use the camelbacks when in camp.

I guess the bright side is that at least they weren't stealing our beer although we had plenty of that to offer as well - we only drank 8 cases so had several left to donate on exodus.

[junglesmacks]

those Class 4 lasers can blind from non-specular reflections depending the power densities.

Dude. Spill it. Whatcha got??

I found that my 50mw green laser was best used while walking with the girl to point something out quickly.. As in.. hey.. check that out! Bing. Just quick enough so that she knows what I'm talking about.

[Mr.Coffee]

Now, I'll freely admit that when I told him to turn the damn pointer off, I was no longer being polite, but I was PISSED after watching all of these idiots nearly blind people with their dangerously overpowered pointers ( some of them were near 1 watt in output).

You wouldn't happen to be the guy yelling "douche" at people and their lasers, would you?

Naah, for the most part I kept my tongue in my head and tried to not worry about it and just have a good time.

[P.Ram]

The jackass who stenciled "BORING" (with backwards "R") all over camps, art and signage.

[ygmir]

The jackass who stenciled "BORING" (with backwards "R") all over camps, art and signage.

they were camped right behind us.........seemed like nice folks.

[Cheyenne]

Where did all the foreigners who had never heard of the survival guide come from? So fucking lucky we had good weather this year, but it also brought out all the yahoos... These aussies near me, sound system on all night playing terrible music, dumped a shitload of booze out on the playa, feathers and sequins and glitter fucking EVERYWHERE, stealing bikes and breaking them for fun, convinced that Burning Man was a gigantic playground for them to fuck things up in. They broke a stage on the Esplanade tuesday night.

I said this in another thread - the number of dickhead Aussies and Brits this year was a bit disheartening... I was embarrassed to call myself British with some idiots dropping rubbish and generally being drunk and disrespectful. The Aussie guy who told a guy with bad knees to 'sit down' at man burn to be told he couldn't as he would find it difficult to get up again - and the aussie then giving his abuse. I told the Aussie to fuck off and don't come back until his attitude had changed.

The woman who thought it was funny to try and block and then kick my bike travelling at night on the esplanade - she had no lights on, and I knocked her over and told her to fuck off.... again, aussie...

French idiots asking me to get my tits out whilst riding with my boyf back from meet and greet at Barbie Death camp.

on a very nice note - Bigbluedoggy: you were our greeter.. you were very nice, and your hug was a welcome relief from a bloody long wait in line...

[AntiM]

Ok, my nomination goes to the US Air Force for the low fly-by on Tuesday morning that went on and on... two F-16s at 19 mil each, a 25 million dollar Chinook and a 44 million dollar Blackhawk being used to photo Sparkle Ponies seems...excessive. The cost of it would probably fund Head Start for a year.
Plus, I wanted a ride and they didn't even offer.....

Black Rock is quite close to Fallon NAB, the Navy pilots have to do training flights all the time. If YOU were a Navy flyboy, wouldn't you want your training run to be over BRC?

I get fly-bys over my house at least once a week here in Utah, from Hill AFB. You must not live close to a base. Nothing to see here, move along.

[Drawingablank]

I think after noticing that this was habitual theft, I would have laced all the bottles with laxatives and kept them looking nice and cold and inviting.

I just want to say FU to the asshat who kept going into our storage tent and raiding our cooler for bottles of water - we had plenty of water to spare and would have given anyone who needed and asked a whole 2 1/2 gallon suitcase.

We started the week with thirty 20 ounce bottles which we were refilling from the suitcases and keeping in the cooler for convenience when in camp. By Wednesday we were down to 4 bottles and I had to actually start locking the cooler before we were down to having to use the camelbacks when in camp.

I guess the bright side is that at least they weren't stealing our beer although we had plenty of that to offer as well - we only drank 8 cases so had several left to donate on exodus.

LOL - I wish that had occurred to me last week. But then again, the asshat would probably have just shit all over my camp.

[P.Ram]

The jackass who stenciled "BORING" (with backwards "R") all over camps, art and signage.

they were camped right behind us.........seemed like nice folks.

Perhaps taking a figurative dump on every available surface put them in a good mood.

[ygmir]

The jackass who stenciled "BORING" (with backwards "R") all over camps, art and signage.

they were camped right behind us.........seemed like nice folks.

Perhaps taking a figurative dump on every available surface put them in a good mood.

yeah, what you describe was bad form, for sure.
but also, one bad apple, and all that.

[tamarakay]

The one that tagged our airstream Saturday afternoon of early entry. You'd think someone with early entry would know better. Now, if it had been artistic in anyway we probably would have kept it, but it was a black scribble that looked like a two year old wrote it while trying not to wet himself. We just left it on all week as we were advised if we removed it, they would just tag it again. It came off Tuesday when we left.

[FireTommy]

Ok, my nomination goes to the US Air Force for the low fly-by on Tuesday morning that went on and on... two F-16s at 19 mil each, a 25 million dollar Chinook and a 44 million dollar Blackhawk being used to photo Sparkle Ponies seems...excessive. The cost of it would probably fund Head Start for a year.
Plus, I wanted a ride and they didn't even offer.....

Black Rock is quite close to Fallon NAB, the Navy pilots have to do training flights all the time. If YOU were a Navy flyboy, wouldn't you want your training run to be over BRC?

I get fly-bys over my house at least once a week here in Utah, from Hill AFB. You must not live close to a base. Nothing to see here, move along.

The Navy doesn't fly 16's, or Chinooks, or Blackhawks in that configuration. I do live next to a base. And Nevada is actually a fairly large piece of land with lots of lake beds to fly my aircraft over. What kind of training requires low passes over large groups of people? But, hey...if there's nothing to see here....

[bigbluedoggy]

on a very nice note - Bigbluedoggy: you were our greeter.. you were very nice, and your hug was a welcome relief from a bloody long wait in line...

Aww thanks! Can't say I recall you in particular, but if I greet you next time, please let me know it's you!!

[ibdave]

Ok, my nomination goes to the US Air Force for the low fly-by on Tuesday morning that went on and on... two F-16s at 19 mil each, a 25 million dollar Chinook and a 44 million dollar Blackhawk being used to photo Sparkle Ponies seems...excessive. The cost of it would probably fund Head Start for a year.
Plus, I wanted a ride and they didn't even offer.....

Black Rock is quite close to Fallon NAB, the Navy pilots have to do training flights all the time. If YOU were a Navy flyboy, wouldn't you want your training run to be over BRC?

I get fly-bys over my house at least once a week here in Utah, from Hill AFB. You must not live close to a base. Nothing to see here, move along.

The Navy doesn't fly 16's, or Chinooks, or Blackhawks in that configuration. I do live next to a base. And Nevada is actually a fairly large piece of land with lots of lake beds to fly my aircraft over. What kind of training requires low passes over large groups of people? But, hey...if there's nothing to see here....

Back in 99-2k they would streak across the city around 8a.m. and then point straight up and turn the burners on... manOman was it cool.. then the big slow tanker would flay the outside ring looking like they would fall out of the sky. Face it FireTommy, Burning Man is a anomaly to the outside world or a train wreck, everyone want to look....

it's not like they walked out to the jets and went for a joyride.. training is training... as long as they keep them flying...

[Elderberry]

Hearing some of these stories really pisses me off.

[hookahdude]

The one that tagged our airstream Saturday afternoon of early entry. You'd think someone with early entry would know better. Now, if it had been artistic in anyway we probably would have kept it, but it was a black scribble that looked like a two year old wrote it while trying not to wet himself. We just left it on all week as we were advised if we removed it, they would just tag it again. It came off Tuesday when we left.

Someone tagged your RV...???

As in TAGGED!?!

WTF...

I just threw up a little in my mouth...

[zeigen]

~The n00b who came up to me and said "Youre beautiful even though youre chubby". Thanks for ruining my afternoon, asshat....I let you get to me and cried in the mirror at myself for a good hour. When my friend told him "that wasnt cool" he said "Im new here, I thought we could say what we wanted to people"
What a fucking asshat!!

He's not beautiful, but you are.

[Drawingablank]

~The n00b who came up to me and said "Youre beautiful even though youre chubby". Thanks for ruining my afternoon, asshat....I let you get to me and cried in the mirror at myself for a good hour. When my friend told him "that wasnt cool" he said "Im new here, I thought we could say what we wanted to people"

That guy really is a total asshat, and I'm sorry you let that fuckhead get to you. If you have a beautiful soul, physical appearance is irrelevant. Everyone I met at the burn was beautiful and physical appearance really was the last thing on my mind.

[Trishntek]

So I've kept this on the back burner long enough and it is beginning to distract my decompression:

This guy from Chicago (Ben) expressed interest in camping with us and has an art car. He flaked out last year and did not attend. This year, he told me he was coming and had arranged an RV to rent and would be our camp's art car. There would be two people driving the car and camping in a tent with us while he camped with us in the RV.

I gave him one of our precious EAP's so he could get his art car ready by Sunday. TWO days before we depart he informs me his RV deal fell through and he would be staying with friends at Area 51. He assured me the art car would still be based at our camp. I had another person who was willing to help set up our camp for an EAP whom I KNOW would have been a great help. She camped elsewhere, and still came by and helped us for awhile.

The first we see of him is Monday when he dumps his pair of drivers at our camp with a short introduction and off he goes. The drivers participate in camp activities most of the day Tuesday and we never see them again. Although their tent was on our lot, they never sought food or anything else from us,,,, so that was fine.

On Thursday morning about 4AM he stops by to show us his piece of shit art car playing this frumpy ding-dong electro shit. I ask one thing of him, " could you possibly give Trish a ride to the burns?" His response, "oh I can't make commitments like that,,,," yeah whatever,,,, fuck your day.

My mates wanted to dismantle him right there and then, but I,,,, being the anti-drama shit that I am, said, " no,,, just let it go,,, it's not worth ruining our vibe." He dropped by once more after the man burn. I simply ignored him as much as possible,,,, not worth my time or energy to deal with a user such as him. But now as I decompress,,,, let it be known that Ben absolutely pissed me off!

Our neighbors next door had an art car which was available for Trish whenever she felt up to going out. Tears now as i think about how gracious they were. Grahama's were great neighbors and we can only hope to enjoy their company again next year.

[rikslut]

Now, I'll freely admit that when I told him to turn the damn pointer off, I was no longer being polite, but I was PISSED after watching all of these idiots nearly blind people with their dangerously overpowered pointers ( some of them were near 1 watt in output).

You wouldn't happen to be the guy yelling "douche" at people and their lasers, would you?

Naah, for the most part I kept my tongue in my head and tried to not worry about it and just have a good time.

Darn! We were testing our laser starfield pattern thingy from our dome on the 9:00 Plaza early in the week to make sure it wouldn't blind/interfere with people. and we got accosted with the "DOUCHE! Learn how to work your laser!" comment, literally as we were adjusting it. We were taken aback at first, but then it provided an ongoing inside joke all week for our camp that provided a good pressure-release ("Douche! Learn how to drink a beer", Douche! Learn how to put your dishes away!", etc.). So now we want to give the douche-screamer a big group hug.

Cheers!

[Elderberry]

So I've kept this on the back burner long enough and it is beginning to distract my decompression:

This guy from Chicago (Ben) expressed interest in camping with us and has an art car. He flaked out last year and did not attend. This year, he told me he was coming and had arranged an RV to rent and would be our camp's art car. There would be two people driving the car and camping in a tent with us while he camped with us in the RV.

I gave him one of our precious EAP's so he could get his art car ready by Sunday. TWO days before we depart he informs me his RV deal fell through and he would be staying with friends at Area 51. He assured me the art car would still be based at our camp. I had another person who was willing to help set up our camp for an EAP whom I KNOW would have been a great help. She camped elsewhere, and still came by and helped us for awhile.

The first we see of him is Monday when he dumps his pair of drivers at our camp with a short introduction and off he goes. The drivers participate in camp activities most of the day Tuesday and we never see them again. Although their tent was on our lot, they never sought food or anything else from us,,,, so that was fine.

On Thursday morning about 4AM he stops by to show us his piece of shit art car playing this frumpy ding-dong electro shit. I ask one thing of him, " could you possibly give Trish a ride to the burns?" His response, "oh I can't make commitments like that,,,," yeah whatever,,,, fuck your day.

My mates wanted to dismantle him right there and then, but I,,,, being the anti-drama shit that I am, said, " no,,, just let it go,,, it's not worth ruining our vibe." He dropped by once more after the man burn. I simply ignored him as much as possible,,,, not worth my time or energy to deal with a user such as him. But now as I decompress,,,, let it be known that Ben absolutely pissed me off!

Our neighbors next door had an art car which was available for Trish whenever she felt up to going out. Tears now as i think about how gracious they were. Grahama's were great neighbors and we can only hope to enjoy their company again next year.

Sort of makes me want to refer you back to this post...

[ed]...it's the fucking Playa, people. Nothing goes as planned, when planned, and usually not where planned.
Drop the expectations, enjoy what's in front of your nose, and carry on.

To which you so blithely and enthusiastically replied: "YAY!"

Maybe now you'll get how I felt about what happened at the M&G--but didn't wait quite as long to express my feelings. It's always personal when you have an emotional commitment.