Top Asshats of 2011 Burning Man

[Lassen Forge]

This guy from Chicago (Ben) expressed interest in camping with us and has an art car. He flaked out last year...

At that point his EAP and other shit from our camp would have been "Enjoy your burn... somewhere else." This had "I'm gonna make your burn the fucking drama center of my life" written all over it!

S' ok, I went thru that in 06, and it woke me up seriously!! I guard resources jealously, and before someone gets one of our precious emergency tix or an EAP they already have committed to make this burn one of the best ever! (And hopefully, our one no-show will be there next year to pull off his amazing project!)

I hope it still went OK... sounds like you had transpo and other issues settled... which is superccool!!!

[emayess]

Me. I'm the top asshat I met on Playa this year. Had good experiences and met wonderful people everwhere I went. Unfortunately, I got a "little" wasted and in wandering up to a MV with a bar, I stepped in between two guests to ask if there was preferred area for asking for a drink. They showed pointed to the other side of the MV and as I was walking over, I heard the bartender yell something at me and thought he was complimenting my costume, so I responded "that's how I roll". So, I get to the other side where they are serving drinks, talk and hang out for a bit before stepping up to ask for a drink, and the bartender starts ripping into me and shouting that I better leave before he kicks my ass. As I was leaving, a friend told me, that the bartender never comented on my outfit, but had shouted to tell me I had interrupted his conversation with the two people that I asked where I should go to get a drink, and he was quite upset by it - so my response of "that's how I roll" certainly wasn't the right response and I can't blame him for refusing me service at his MV/bar. Oops.

[BBadger]

those Class 4 lasers can blind from non-specular reflections depending the power densities.

Dude. Spill it. Whatcha got??

I found that my 50mw green laser was best used while walking with the girl to point something out quickly.. As in.. hey.. check that out! Bing. Just quick enough so that she knows what I'm talking about.

Well, since you asked... it's a 445nm laser diode I planted into a host. I set it for ~600mW at 750mA or so I don't need a duty cycle to use it (was most useful when I was focusing its rectangular beam profile). I did bring a 50mW green with an adjustable focus on it last year. That damn thing got so crusty from the dust that I couldn't close the aperture shutter after some time and nearly lost the safety interlock key which I somehow found on the ground after almost giving up. I barely used it: only to light up a balloon somewhat close to camp, and another time to shine at the man before it burned to see how bright it was compared to other peoples' and to see how the focus compared. They certainly are good pointers in that dust, especially at that milliwattage.

Those other 445nm lasers people have... they scare me. At least with a green it has to hit you directly or something shiny to cause blindness, as if that were some consolation, but those blues are dangerous even if they hit a matte surface. I didn't want people to try to get into a laser shining war because they saw some other laser shining around.

[FireTommy]

I love seeing the lasers in the dust, and the short wavelength colors look especially cool. Did anybody get hurt by them? And is there a way to protect your vision without wearing a welder's rig? I've had these eyeballs a long time and don't want to damage them...but...wow...Lasers!!

[BBadger]

I love seeing the lasers in the dust, and the short wavelength colors look especially cool. Did anybody get hurt by them? And is there a way to protect your vision without wearing a welder's rig? I've had these eyeballs a long time and don't want to damage them...but...wow...Lasers!!

Nobody, to my knowledge, has been hurt yet. I do feel it's a matter of time though. I don't want something like what happened at a rave in 2008 in Russia to occur. Of course that was rain refracting the beams that would normally be projected upwards. Those were unlicensed laser technicians, and their rig was probably not set up properly. It's also not supposed to operate in the rain. In the US, you can't even audience-scan the way you can in Europe.

Your best defense is distance, as the laser beams diverge with distance. Goggles would be a pain, would not cover all the wavelengths possible, and you certainly won't see the beams if you have them on. Just be aware of where people are using the lasers and try to make sure that you're at a safe distance. The tighter the beam at aperture, the worse the divergence, and most of the powerful lasers you'll see have terrible divergence, especially the greens. The green lasers for One Mile Clock had 10x beam expanders, which give them much better divergence, but at the cost of a fatter beam. At the distances the beam traveled to hit the crystal in the temple it was eyesafe, especially with all the particulates in the air to scatter the light. I would have been pretty afraid if some asshole shined one of those 1Watt blue lasers at that crystal though from close distance.

[Foxfur]

This fucked with my head quite a bit so I didn't mention it at the burn...

A drunken fratboy came running out at me in the 9:00 neighborhood shouting "Fucking faggot in fucking faggot pants!"
I wanted to tell him I'm bi but decided not to as his buddies standing by would have surely gifted me a thorough ass kicking.
I pulled my signature move of getting the fuck outta there, fast.
I successfully fought the urge to visit him with a hunk of rebar later that evening.

Fucking latent faggot in a fucking latent faggot wife-beater...

[devilgrrl]

This fucked with my head quite a bit so I didn't mention it at the burn...

A drunken fratboy came running out at me in the 9:00 neighborhood shouting "Fucking faggot in fucking faggot pants!"

<snip>

Oh man...

[Savannah]

Nice restraint, Foxfur.

That is seriously one of the weirdest on-playa experiences I've ever heard of, and I'm sorry.

[illy dilly]

This fucked with my head quite a bit so I didn't mention it at the burn...

A drunken fratboy came running out at me in the 9:00 neighborhood shouting "Fucking faggot in fucking faggot pants!"
I wanted to tell him I'm bi but decided not to as his buddies standing by would have surely gifted me a thorough ass kicking.
I pulled my signature move of getting the fuck outta there, fast.
I successfully fought the urge to visit him with a hunk of rebar later that evening.

Fucking latent faggot in a fucking latent faggot wife-beater...

Thats bull shit, I'm really sorry to hear that happened.
Should have brought it up at the MnG!
We could have marched a "Faggot Pants Parade" right through their front door!

Or, we could have rounded up some barely clothed sparkle ponies, had you walk on the same street, then have them come running out and start making out with you. The Frat boys would have been in "faggot pants" in under 10 seconds.

The guy probably found him self checking out your ass, got confused and scared, and didn't know what to do so turned to anger.
Its sad really.

[pizzamancer]

"Fucking faggot in fucking faggot pants!"

You were wearing faggot pants?

[AntiM]

Performance art fail?

[marck]

Anyone one know who's Mutant vehicles these were. One was built of what looked like 2x2s in a similar fashion to the "Belgin Waffle" but painted green and with a dragon(?) head.
The other was a fur covered pet (cat? rabbit?) with heart shaped windows.

Both were asked not to drive down A street, the furry car stopped only after they started to dent the front of their vehicle against my body. I guess they expected my to just get out of their way. They kept using A street even after they were asked not to.

The wooden PoS vehicle's driver and his friends stopped and then jumped out and shoved me once. Then they realized the rest of our village was mobilizing behind them and thought it better to step down. After realizing they would not be able to continue down A, they gave up and backed up to 3:30.
Later on they quickly drove by and I was not fast enough to stop them again.

[ibdave]

Anyone one know who's Mutant vehicles these were. One was built of what looked like 2x2s in a similar fashion to the "Belgin Waffle" but painted green and with a dragon(?) head.
The other was a fur covered pet (cat? rabbit?) with heart shaped windows.

Both were asked not to drive down A street, the furry car stopped only after they started to dent the front of their vehicle against my body. I guess they expected my to just get out of their way. They kept using A street even after they were asked not to.

The wooden PoS vehicle's driver and his friends stopped and then jumped out and shoved me once. Then they realized the rest of our village was mobilizing behind them and thought it better to step down. After realizing they would not be able to continue down A, they gave up and backed up to 3:30.
Later on they quickly drove by and I was not fast enough to stop them again.

saw them setting that pos up at 2:00 D-E-F or so, Lot of $$$ parked around with lots of segways and other scooters..$$$$ they were set up with a perimeter of RV and Box Trucks.

[EspressoDude]

"Fucking faggot in fucking faggot pants!"

You were wearing faggot pants?

they were short n tight ...

[graidawg]

ok i dont know if anyones posted this story in full but the guy who pissed on the girl who was dancing at the temple qualifies as an asshat. I am sure you are meant to ask first for that kind of behaviour.
the full story is quite long

[Trishntek]

This fucked with my head quite a bit so I didn't mention it at the burn...

A drunken fratboy came running out at me in the 9:00 neighborhood shouting "Fucking faggot in fucking faggot pants!"
I wanted to tell him I'm bi but decided not to as his buddies standing by would have surely gifted me a thorough ass kicking.
I pulled my signature move of getting the fuck outta there, fast.
I successfully fought the urge to visit him with a hunk of rebar later that evening.

Fucking latent faggot in a fucking latent faggot wife-beater...

Thats bull shit, I'm really sorry to hear that happened.
Should have brought it up at the MnG!
We could have marched a "Faggot Pants Parade" right through their front door!

Or, we could have rounded up some barely clothed sparkle ponies, had you walk on the same street, then have them come running out and start making out with you. The Frat boys would have been in "faggot pants" in under 10 seconds.

The guy probably found him self checking out your ass, got confused and scared, and didn't know what to do so turned to anger.
Its sad really.

We could challenge them to man-up and get certified.

[CapSmashy]

This fucked with my head quite a bit so I didn't mention it at the burn...

Fox... why would you keep this to yourself?

We had some massive pent up agro this year and a group of frat boys fucking with one of ours would have been an excellent venue to unleash upon.

[Elderberry]

The gayborhood seems to be a lot more civilized than other parts of the city.

[Foxfur]

This fucked with my head quite a bit so I didn't mention it at the burn...

Fox... why would you keep this to yourself?

We had some massive pent up agro this year and a group of frat boys fucking with one of ours would have been an excellent venue to unleash upon.

Truthfully Smashy I was ashamed of myself for not having done more than turn the other cheek. I was just thinking of keeping my head dent-free and going home in one piece. What I should have done was throw my bike down and represent. I just wonder how many others they did this to...
And they were shorts, not pants. Dude couldn't get anything right...

[Drawingablank]

This fucked with my head quite a bit so I didn't mention it at the burn...

A drunken fratboy came running out at me in the 9:00 neighborhood shouting "Fucking faggot in fucking faggot pants!"
I wanted to tell him I'm bi but decided not to as his buddies standing by would have surely gifted me a thorough ass kicking.
I pulled my signature move of getting the fuck outta there, fast.
I successfully fought the urge to visit him with a hunk of rebar later that evening.

Fucking latent faggot in a fucking latent faggot wife-beater...

I admire your restraint, I hate when assholes fuck with me when I'm stoned (which was 24 / 7 at the burn). I have made great stides in recent decades to curb my homicidal tendencies but I probably would have tried to corner that asshat alone later. Wish you had brought this up at the meet and greet so we could mind fuck them back.

[tamarakay]

"Fucking faggot in fucking faggot pants!"

You were wearing faggot pants?

Dang it! I miss all the good stuff. I wonder what they would have thought of Kendoll's purple skirt?

[lucky.bastard]

for sure the biggest asshats were these guys on A street & 3-3:30 area who set up a road block and were screwing with innocent people who were just trying to walk/bike by..., ( oh wait that was us )

the only attitude i got was when i was riding my bike back from a early morning hippie freedom dance class kinda of thing and was feeling all blissed out from the couple of days i had spent on the playa at that point. my back tire was running a little low on air and i saw a guy working on a bike who had a pump sitting beside him, i rode up and without offering anything to the guy or even introducing myself ask if i could use his pump.... he was more than willing to knock me back to the reality of the situation and proceeded to ask me why i would travel all the way to the desert and not bring a pump and ask me if i was " just some random person " or whatever.., really just seemed to enjoy giving me a bunch of shit about being "radically self-reliant" .....i rode away and for about an hour or two i was all piss-ee about the whole exchange we had but then i stepped back and thought about it and was glad i had met him and understood what he was getting at " i don't know you, and i don't owe you shit,,, this place is bruttal and if you aren't prepared to fix your bike tire then what the hell else aren't you prepared to do,,, and why would i bring some of my shit all the way out here for you to use,, this ain't some hippie love fest brother " .............. he was a dick no doubt but i appriciate the lesson

*oh yea like a block later there was a "fix you bike" camp

[Savannah]

Wow! Once you internalized a rather rudely communicated (if true) lesson, you received the unexpected gift . . . once you knew not to expect it anymore.

[Drawingablank]

Should have told him you actually have a 5 horsepower air compressor back at your camp but ran out of air hose about a mile back.

Seriously - what a nasty asshole. When we packed, one of the things we had to leave behind for lack of room was our air pump. Stuff to survive with just seemed more relevant and I was fairly sure an air pump would be easy to come by if needed.

[Elderberry]

Sometimes I just really don't know what to say.

[theCryptofishist]

Should have told him you actually have a 5 horsepower air compressor back at your camp but ran out of air hose about a mile back.

Seriously - what a nasty asshole. When we packed, one of the things we had to leave behind for lack of room was our air pump. Stuff to survive with just seemed more relevant and I was fairly sure an air pump would be easy to come by if needed.

Yeah, what about saying "Well, I came with crutches, in case I hurt my leg, and with a sitz bath, in case I got really nasty hemorrhoids. There's a limit to how much radical self-reliance I can jam into my economy car."

[hookahdude]

I just wish to announce that I will be running for this title in 2012.
Top ASSHAT.
It is my intention to start the MOOP Nazi Brigade in 2012. Bullhorns. Shame. Sirens. Identification. Persecution. If you are an offender - We Will Find You....
We will make the comments you want to make when they see that dumbass with the feathered boa - Over a PA system.

I love BRC.
I love the Playa more.

[d6]

fxfr- "faggot pants" are welcome in our camp anytime, so long as you are a personal responsibilitarian, and this is coming from someone who once got punched in the face for wearing a purple shirt while crossing the street.

no real 2011 a**hat front runners, as most neighbors were awesome, and the tiny instances were just that.

[Presto]

[quote="P.Ram"]The jackass who stenciled "BORING" (with backwards "R") all over camps, art and signage.[/quote]

The two guys who did this got caught by LEO at sunrise.
The next day they did a loop apologizing to all the camps they tagged. They seemed genuinely sorry about their spectacular ass-hattery (they still deserve the nomination)

[hookahdude]

Dammit, as long as there are Asshats that spray shit like that onto the property of others and the community at large, the title will never be mine... Bastards.