Top Asshats of 2011 Burning Man

[MyDearFriend]

fxfr- "faggot pants" are welcome in our camp anytime, so long as you are a personal responsibilitarian, and this is coming from someone who once got punched in the face for wearing a purple shirt while crossing the street.

no real 2011 a**hat front runners, as most neighbors were awesome, and the tiny instances were just that.

Ha, this is awesome & I want to steal it

[illy dilly]

On Thursday or Friday, we were walking from just past the end of the Pier, towards 9 O'clock cutting across open Playa (I believe we were looking for where they moved the Trojan Horse to). We had finished watching some fireworks, then set off on our journey to find where the Trojan Horse would burn. As we were walking we went to walk around a group of poorly lit guys, the girls had no problem going to the right to get around them, so I followed suit. One of the guys steps in front of me, so I laugh and try to go to his left, he continues to step in front of me, so I go right, again he steps in front of me, so I give him a little juke move figuring he's just some ass hat, so the guy takes a step and shoves me as hard as he can, and yells in a drunken mumble
"Whats your fucking problem this is a safety perimeter!?!?!"
So I yell back "For what?"
His drunken response "Fuck off"

OK, so it took us a good 5 minutes to figure out what the safety perimeter was for. The fireworks had finished a beer and a cigarette (so 7 minutes?) before we got there It wasn't the Trojan horse, because we still had to walk a good 8-10 more minutes towards 9 before we even got to the out side of the art cars and bikes.
There was no crowd around these guys, it was just 4 dudes standing around in the dark. There was a group another group moving around with flash lights a good 20 yards behind these guys, related? maybe.

We figure that the fireworks had gone off and finished and they were looking for live rounds. OK, thats fine, but why not just tell me that it is a safety perimeter before shoving me? How the hell am I supposed to know that four dudes just standing around chatting are a safety perimeter? What ever crowd may have been there had already left.
I have no issues with going around.
I can understand if these guys get tired of dealing with people trying to encroach on the safety perimeter, but I bet it would be easier for them if they didn't just go around pushing people.
Sorry, rant over.

[Elderberry]

Some of these stories just help to remind me why I don't own a gun.

[junglesmacks]

I say next year we arm you with a bubble gun and put you on playa asshat patrol..

Some of these stories just help to remind me why I don't own a gun.

I'm seriously about falling out of my chair with the visuals of JK running around people machine gunning people with bubbles..

..and said with love, of course.

[Elderberry]

[theCryptofishist]

Every self important shithead in a golfcart driving as fast as they want. That includes every BM dept, FUCK YOU!

I don't think it includes ESD. I'm fairly sure that they gave up on golf carts, years ago, as being unreliable. Of course, you still may not approve of the speed that they take; I'm sure some of the medical emergencies on the other end might feel differently.

[jella]

Every self important shithead in a golfcart driving as fast as they want. That includes every BM dept, FUCK YOU!

I know one of these golfcart drivers. Senior member of Fire Art Safety Team.

While loading the Trojan Horse with pyrotechnics, a MV that looked like a green inverted checkmark from the side drove through the safety perimeter. When 3 members of the pyro safety perimeter crew attempted to stop his entrance into the perimeter, he kept moving as if intending to run over the safety perimeter crew. Only by stepping aside did these people avoid getting run over. He then drove within 20 feet of the horse, ignoring all safety crew as they backed away from him while telling him to leave.

Senior member of Fire Art Safety Team got his 'mule'(not a golf cart) and chased the driver partway across the playa to get his ID / vehicle number. (reported to DMV / LLC /LEO).... unlikely to be able to bring that or any other MV to the event.

Some of these BM folks are driving fast for YOUR safety, not just going to have a cuppa joe. would you like first responders to your safety/first aid/medical problems to arrive at 2 mph while you are bleeding out?

+1

[Savannah]

The jackass who stenciled "BORING" (with backwards "R") all over camps, art and signage.

The two guys who did this got caught by LEO at sunrise.
The next day they did a loop apologizing to all the camps they tagged. They seemed genuinely sorry about their spectacular ass-hattery (they still deserve the nomination)

This does my shriveled little heart good, P. Ram--thank you. Since the offenders sound more vastly stupid than evil, I'm glad they had to look into the faces of the people they hurt.

[illy dilly]

I say next year we arm you with a bubble gun and put you on playa asshat patrol..

Some of these stories just help to remind me why I don't own a gun.

I'm seriously about falling out of my chair with the visuals of JK running around people machine gunning people with bubbles..

..and said with love, of course.

But we'll add some sort of Day-Glow orange to the bubbles, so that when they pop on people, the rest of BRC can easily identify "You are an Ass Hat" from a distance.

[deutlich]

Man...I'd hate to run into someone doing something extraordinarily stupid. I have a bad habit of letting my mouth run when I see sh*t like that (which could get me in trouble). I guess in a crowd that large, though, it's bound to happen...

[Lassen Forge]

People that have exactly 3 posts to their name, and each one is some kind of whiny bitch snivel instead of something awesome. Wah wah wah... next time, stay the fuck home.

[Foxfur]

People that have exactly 3 posts to their name, and each one is some kind of whiny bitch snivel instead of something awesome. Wah wah wah... next time, stay the fuck home.

+100

[Elderberry]

Now we got an idea going!

I say next year we arm you with a bubble gun and put you on playa asshat patrol..

Some of these stories just help to remind me why I don't own a gun.

I'm seriously about falling out of my chair with the visuals of JK running around people machine gunning people with bubbles..

..and said with love, of course.

But we'll add some sort of Day-Glow orange to the bubbles, so that when they pop on people, the rest of BRC can easily identify "You are an Ass Hat" from a distance.

[RedHeaven]

[img]http://www.roflcat.com/images/cats/Asshat.jpg[/img]

[C.f.M.]

The jackass who stenciled "BORING" (with backwards "R") all over camps, art and signage.

The two guys who did this got caught by LEO at sunrise.
The next day they did a loop apologizing to all the camps they tagged. They seemed genuinely sorry about their spectacular ass-hattery (they still deserve the nomination)

They got in BIG trouble.

Though it was tough not to laugh and high five them in my head, for the "boring" stuff on the Man, when the Ranger was explaining what happened...

[A Jester]

~The n00b who came up to me and said "Youre beautiful even though youre chubby". Thanks for ruining my afternoon, asshat....I let you get to me and cried in the mirror at myself for a good hour. When my friend told him "that wasnt cool" he said "Im new here, I thought we could say what we wanted to people"
What a fucking asshat!!

If you ever see him again, "You're kinda an ok person even though you're an asshat."

[A Jester]

I think after noticing that this was habitual theft, I would have laced all the bottles with laxatives and kept them looking nice and cold and inviting.

+5

Heck, I would even risk drinking the laxatives myself just to know that they were running around trying to steal someone's toilet paper.

A drunken fratboy came running out at me in the 9:00 neighborhood shouting "Fucking faggot in fucking faggot pants!"

In my dream world this is terrible performance art that went awry, because no one would really be that much of an idiot at BM, right?

The entire costco camp can eat shit. Arrogant, full of themselves, unfriendly and pretentious. And they had the nerve to beg for volunteers. Fuck all of you, douchetard Costco campers.

We're just that much better than you, jerkwad. Trust me, we weren't asking YOU to volunteer. Also, we're the best thing you'll never be a part of.




(Did I do a good job of being Arrogant, full of myself, unfriendly and pretentious? I hope I did. Also, if you ever stop by our camp again, please let us know that you expect us to be mean, or we might accidentally be nice and screw with your perceptions.)

[BBadger]

[ img ]http://www.roflcat.com/images/cats/Asshat.jpg[ /img ]

How about those asshats who don't enable BBCodes after being told how?

I'm joking about the asshat part, but seriously, enable your BBCodes!

[Foxfur]

Also, we're the best thing you'll never be a part of.

Bwahahaha!
+1000 my friend!
Well played

[nerdqueen]

it was the last day on playa for most late-crew cleanup folks... no more shade structures, we were all MOOPing and loading trucks like everyone else.

the giant burn barrel on the playa at esplanade and ~3:15 got a little too popular. we were at 3:30, and could see and hear activity at the barrel all day. by late afternoon, the flaming burn barrel:
- was obviously overloaded
- had a sign in front of it reading CLOSED
- featured a door frame on top of the pile, well above the rim, jutting half overboard (ready to fall down and leave burn scars on the playa)

DPW/bmorg/ranger? type folks visited often to holler at various asshats who attempted to add to the pile, saying: "IT'S FULL. IT'S CLOSED. GO TO THE MAN." for bonus points, unloaders often backed their trucks WAY too close to the barrel itself - evidently forgetting about the flammability of vehicles themselves. the prize goes to one guy i ran up to, as he proceeded to load a new large pile onto the top of the heap.

ME: hey! this barrel is closed! take your stuff to the man!
ASSHAT: fuck off.
ME: it's full! and your truck is really close to the flames! they've been yelling at people all afternoon.
ASSHAT: you know what? i've been coming to the playa for 12 years, and i can recognize when a burn barrel is full. <proceeds to unload onto the flames>
ME: ummm, you think that door frame isn't going to topple onto the playa and leave burn scars? this thing is full. they put a CLOSED sign on it.
ASSHAT: yeah. thank you for your opinions. <increasingly hostile> you know what? i've been listening to people's opinions all day, and i'm about fucking tired of it. <continues to unload onto the flames>

awesome.

[Ano]

Yeah, vets this year were really hostile. A little annoying.

[Mr.Coffee]

I admire your pluck, Iclimb, but It's too little too late.

I'm the top asshat of 2011 Burning Man.



(It's a genetic condition. )

[Dr. Pyro]

No argument here.

[Mr.Coffee]

we have a second! anyone to carry the motion?

[troubledenergy]

the vets who repeatedly reminded me "well, you wouldn't know, you're just a virgin." (or variations thereof)

i'm sorry but EVERYONE was a virgin at on point or another.

sheesh

[Lassen Forge]

We had a motion but it got left in the Blue Phone Booths...

[Mr.Coffee]

We had a motion but it got left in the Blue Phone Booths...

Awww, man! why does that keep happening? I never should have printed those ballots on digestive paper!

[Boijoy]

This thread makes me want to get a button with the word "ass" on it to wear on my hat next year. Just in case I do something stupid.

[FIGJAM]

http://www.ebaumsworld.com/pictures/view/82979/

[Raymaker]

the main thing that annoyed me were veteran burners responsible for theme camps, who when you approached them looked at you like you were shit on someones shoe, assumed you was there to rip them off, eventually gave you some attention but continued having conversations with nubile women when they found out you were there for an legitimate reason (which is just plain rude), then telling you they didn't have time to prepare what they were suppose to do in return for supporting their camp. next year I'll be very careful about who I'll have time for contributing to kickstarter to support them and it won't be the black rock french quarter