The Lonley Burner

jcliff · Post by **jcliff** » Fri Jul 10, 2009 10:07 am

Last year was my first Burn and I went alone. I was so grateful that I had the good sense to join up with the Lamplighters...the work kept me busy and meeting people, the lounge always had people in it, meals together, etc. I had plenty of time that I was out exploring on my own, but I didn't feel lonely doing it as I was meeting people along the way. I had one sort of bummer morning when I couldn't find the White Trash Pancake Breakfast, I was bored and couldn't find anything to do. I was probably right on the verge of sad and lonely, but then out of nowhere the snow cone cart arrived - immediate change of attitude. Problem solved.

DoriumLux · Post by **DoriumLux** » Fri Jul 10, 2009 11:52 am

jcliff wrote:Last year was my first Burn and I went alone. I was so grateful that I had the good sense to join up with the Lamplighters...the work kept me busy and meeting people, the lounge always had people in it, meals together, etc. I had plenty of time that I was out exploring on my own, but I didn't feel lonely doing it as I was meeting people along the way. I had one sort of bummer morning when I couldn't find the White Trash Pancake Breakfast, I was bored and couldn't find anything to do. I was probably right on the verge of sad and lonely, but then out of nowhere the snow cone cart arrived - immediate change of attitude. Problem solved.

You were bored at burning man?? Really??

Fire_Moose · Post by **Fire_Moose** » Fri Jul 10, 2009 1:00 pm

"Isn't it weird that when your alone, all you see is couples? And then when you're part of a couple, all you see is prostitutes?"

Absolut Jeenyus · Post by **Absolut Jeenyus** » Tue Jul 14, 2009 3:09 am

If you go solo, you tend to see the couples. If you go as a couple, you tend to see a lot more singles... I think its a mind fuck.

Igneouss · Post by **Igneouss** » Wed Jul 15, 2009 9:44 am

...grass is greener issue...

I will be attending as a virgin single. Not really stressing about finding a BM partner. If it happens it happens. If not no biggie.

I am intentionally not going with anyone I know. I will be hooking up in Detroit with some critters 1/2 my age for the drive out. Only know one of them via email.

I will be landing with a theme camp. Again, only known via email.

Not worried. Am excited. Going alone on this adventure seems to be something I need to do. New friends will happen.

geminiRanger · Post by **geminiRanger** » Thu Jul 16, 2009 1:04 pm

This will be my third burn, and the first one where I get to be single. I found that with a partner I had a lot of extra crap to deal with, I'm looking forward to flying solo this year - I can do whatever the hell I want and can probably have a lot more fun as a result.

I won't be lonely, I'll make friends, lots of them - its not that hard to do and there are plenty of single people. There's just a lot of couples too. Its like going...

anywhere.

Fire_Moose · Post by **Fire_Moose** » Thu Jul 16, 2009 1:24 pm

i agree, there is little better then being able to do what you want as soon as you want to do it.

jcliff · Post by **jcliff** » Thu Jul 16, 2009 2:39 pm

Burning Man seems to bring out the best and the worst in people. It's really freeing to be able to spend time with people who are celebrating the city and quietly excuse yourself from those that are on the verge or in the midst of a meltdown.

FlowerBeast · Post by **FlowerBeast** » Mon Jul 20, 2009 11:56 pm

It can be lonely on the playa at times, it does seem like there are a lot of couples,but you gotta keep being assertive. being shy will not help. Some times it's just a matter of finding the right crowd or the right hangout.

RedHeaven · Post by **RedHeaven** » Wed Sep 21, 2011 4:50 pm

This is a great thread, I think it deserves a newbie bump.

Ive had very lonely BMan moments, intentional lonely ones, non intentional lonely ones, and felt the opposite, too.
Most things at BMan are so yin yang. It can be a very lonely place but it can also be the easiest place on earth to meet peeps.
Sometimes I think the "couples" are people who just found playa romance. I felt a lot of that this year (2011) and it felt magical to witness. (felt even better when it happened to me at the end of the week)

This was an especially good year for me since I changed camps, met a LOT more folks I connected with. Not to say my previous camp was void, it was great, too. But this one really bumped it all in a new direction for me. Off the esplanade and into the suburbs. Less time at the sound camps (since I wasnt camped so close to them and so curious) and more time at the dive bars and art and live music where you can actually talk to the bartenders and people and its not this huge shit show.

Last year I went, 2009, was very very lonely year for me. The whole week was slightly lonely. I had great camp (3:00 and esplaande) and good friends around but I did everything by myself, except for this bacon and mimosa sunrise social on Wed AM (which was my fav part of the week) When I did go on adventures with others I felt like I was in my own bubble. I think that had to do with my mental state at the time, and some fear factors, general laziness and overwhelming feelings. This year was SOOOOO different! I "expected" it to be because I set out a GOAL and I REACHED it so i could have a better burn. Lifestyle changes can be a sure thing to a better time. Yoga, diet, exercise, and just being generally more OK with letting things happen mentally.

Snow · Post by **Snow** » Wed Sep 21, 2011 9:53 pm

I cherish some alone time, just me, my bike and the open playa. But then again I'm a lone NV wolf at heart. Not that I don't love my friends and all the new people I connect with.

gaminwench · Post by **gaminwench** » Wed Sep 21, 2011 10:05 pm

one of the wonderful, unique things about Black Rock City is that it is OKAY to be alone.

We all, especially in an overstimulating(!) environment, need time to process...

which might be in camp, laughing with buddies,
or at a random burnbarrel, singing with strangers,
or at the Temple, weeping with the collective......
or in deep playa, dancing alone...

or...???

I've walked the playa, naked(ish), all night, alone...
and been safe, warm, fulfilled, inspired, and nourished...

where else can this happen??

Ugly Dougly · Post by **Ugly Dougly** » Wed Sep 21, 2011 10:15 pm

Don't expect Burning Man to heal your loneliness.
If you can be alone without feeling lonely, then you'll be free.

Snow · Post by **Snow** » Wed Sep 21, 2011 10:24 pm

Plus when I go out alone I seem to meet so many more people than when I travel with friends or a ladyfriend.

Ugly Dougly · Post by **Ugly Dougly** » Wed Sep 21, 2011 10:50 pm

Amen, abandon expectations!

RedHeaven · Post by **RedHeaven** » Fri Sep 23, 2011 8:40 pm

Shit, I initially went to Burning Man for some alone time in fun land after all the tight knit music fesivals Ive been going to for years. I wanted to try something different than knowing EVERY person around EVERY corner. I felt so autonomous and cool out there on the playa, kinda sorta by myself. Thats when the ideas flow. BRC is such a great place to reflect as well as live the dreams.

The Lonley Burner

How lonley was life on the Playa in 2008?

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