I am crying...

[MOOP_Nazi]

I am laughing to damned hard... can't breathe... post reported... but damn... I am starting love these things...

"If you wish for a certain classification of leather sofa, designed specifically instead of your home, they will proposal a sovereign design usage and then furnish unencumbered pronunciation an eye to local dostavki."

Oh shit.. I think I am dying...

[Anubislg]

PPfttHAHAHAHAHAHA

That's better than some of the gibber that Google Voice spits out at me!
Let's see here....

Here we go, here's a classic from when Round-Table decided to robo-call my cell. This is the dictation that G-Voice decided to do:

"Hi. This is an ass. I'm calling on behalf of Round Table Pizza on May end. . ."
It seriously translated the first half the call like that!

[theCryptofishist]

Discussion outside a local store that has a couple of benches to sit on outside the front.
Me: See people sit here and eat things and the crumbs get on the ground then dogs come by and eat them.
My Father: The Circle of Life. Crumbs have a brief time to express themselves and do creative work and then they fall into that cold Darwinian night.
(Not verbatim, but close.)

[MOOP_Nazi]

Oh good lord... where the hell do you live? lol.

Exchange heard a few years ago when I lived in rural Indiana from two old guys sitting on a porch when a teenage boy all gothed out walked by:

Heads watch as kid walks by.. at least 20 seconds of silence...

Old guy #1: Well I'll tell you what...
Old guy #2: Ayup....

And that was all they said for the next 5 minutes while I smoked my cigarette... I thought I heard a banjo in the distance...