Suicidal Tendencies

[maryanimal]

I need some insight as to what goes through someones mind when they're about to end their life. but backed out.

I have a problem with the way you are wording this. Seems to me, that if someone is about to end his/her life, and then holds off for whatever reason, lays down the gun, steps away from the edge, puts the cap back on the bottle or the vial back in the fridge...

This is not "backing out." This is "facing up."

That moment in time when you know you can die, one more move and you are done... Damn.

If you are still standing after that particular gut-check, you have not backed out of anything; quite the reverse, in fact. Please do not devalue that wretched little achievement.

I wasn't devaluing anything. Being able to back away from something as serious as taking ones own life isn't a mere achievement. IMHO, it's the realization the depths of their decision. In no way was I devaluing what people go through when they are faced with the possibility of suicide.

[graidawg]

suicide''s worst effect is the one it has one other people, ive already told everyone how it affected me and will for ever.

I am suddenly reminded of the moment after i jumped off a highdiving board the first (and last time) teh thought that went through my head was "I wish i hadnt done that".
I remember sitting and munching painkillers on evening alone in the flat after my girlfriend dumped me and moved out and thinking when the pack was empty "I wish I hadnt done that"
Now having met you superb people I think "I'm glad i didn't do that"

I bet my dad, if he could, would be thinking "I wish I hadn't done that"

and now I'm thinking " I hope you Don't do that please".

[MyDearFriend]

Oh (((Maryanimal))) I wasn't aiming that at you, probably just at myself really, at that red-neck part of me that has to take every dare and never back down from a challenge. That tendency has got me into more trouble...

And yeah, what Grai said: Please just DON'T DO IT.

Halcyon said it better, though:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2mwQeRKijmI

[Sic Pup]

I hope I'm fortunate enough to not expire unexpectedly and to check out when I deem the time is right. We all live in our own head, no one truly knows what anyone else is experiencing and I try to respect that and not judge other's ultimate decision, one that should only be made by them. I was close twice, a jerk of the steering wheel once, and the flick of a finger away a second time. I honestly don't know if I made the right decision in either case because I don't know what lays beyond (if anything). Who is to say that the alternative, if one exists, isn't better? That said, I don't regret my decisions either, the time just wasn't right then (but I don't rule out that it may be tomorrow).

Life is full of decisions, all of them have reprecussions, some significant, some minor, some glaringly obvious, some of them unknown, unforeseeable, why should death be any different?

Barring an accident, I'm pretty sure I will be departing by my own hand, on my own terms. At this stage I'm not hoping to die but I sure am curious about what lays beyond, if anything. If I was given an expiration date I'm not so sure I wouldn't look at it with anticipation (and maybe even relief). I know I certainly wouldn't hang on and drag it out indefinitely if there was no quality to the continued existence. Of course, I also recognize that confronted with the reality I might feel differently.

[maryanimal]

((((MyDearFriend)))) (((((SicPup)))))

[TinkerMom]

at that red-neck part of me that has to take every dare and never back down from a challenge. That tendency has got me into more trouble...

I'm the same way. But thats adrenaline.
I have a friend we have to keep a tight leash on whenever we go someplace that is up high. He has this insatiable desire to jump off
of where ever or what ever. He just likes the feeling of falling or flying. Again adrenaline.
When I was in my late teens and early 20's I was in to drugs. I was brought back several times. But I kept doing it. It wasn't
about the suicidal tendencies, it was the drug rush. Adrenaline? or?

I think back now and wonder if I was missing something. Was I depressed and didn't know and thought this was the way?
Accidents are one thing and those close calls, too. But like MA said, what is the thought? That push? The final whatever?

I do know, that I told my family, if I am diagnosed with some terminal something, don't be suprised if the cops come and say
"She stole a fast car and drove it over a cliff or into something.DOA"
Because they know my adrenline junkie self would have wanted it that way.

[RayMcKay]

Tough situation to be in, it's gotta be hard. I wouldn't know what to tell you besides give as much support, and care as you can. I'm sure you already do that though...I hope everything works out.

[maryanimal]

Oh (((Maryanimal))) I wasn't aiming that at you, probably just at myself really, at that red-neck part of me that has to take every dare and never back down from a challenge. That tendency has got me into more trouble...

And yeah, what Grai said: Please just DON'T DO IT.

Halcyon said it better, though:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2mwQeRKijmI

This video should be shown to students everywhere. This guy has a great message! I like him!

[Sic Pup]

Pass the Halcion.

[Sham]

If I'm ever feeling down and blue, I watch this short video and head off to my local Walmart and stroll the store, humming this tune until I start feeling better about myself. It doesn't take long! Try it.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YvxNgdFeWqM

[maryanimal]

ROFLMFAO LOLOLOLOLHEHEHEHEHEHEHAHAHAHAHAHAHA*SNORT*HOHOHOHEHEHEHAHAHA I'm crying! that was soo f**king funny! *howling with laughter* Thank you Sham! I needed that!! hehehehehe now my nose is dripping!! LMAO *wiping tears*

[Elderberry]

OK, now I have shopped at Walmart and I have NEVER seen any of those people.

[Sham]

OK, now I have shopped at Walmart and I have NEVER seen any of those people.

If the people of Walmart are not standing out to you, then I would be VERY, VERY concerned!

[Elderberry]

OK, now I have shopped at Walmart and I have NEVER seen any of those people.

If the people of Walmart are not standing out to you, then I would be VERY, VERY concerned!

LOL I was thinking that exact same thought as I posted that.

But seriously, maybe it's because we shop at a super Walmart, usually late at night in a pretty good neighborhood outside Los Angeles, but I've never seen anyone there even close to being as weird as those in the video. Actually the same goes for the one I was at in Las Vegas and Carson City.

[theCryptofishist]

Cherrypicking.

[maryanimal]

OK, now I have shopped at Walmart and I have NEVER seen any of those people.

Ever been to Arkansas??

[lucky420]

oh geez in 2010 we had 2 incidents of Walmart people here in fallabama. One was a machete weilding dude threatening everyone..

I have always wanted to make a midnight run to Walmart, I am usually asleep or drunk by then

[theCryptofishist]

Wouldn't the second make it better?

[MyDearFriend]

Fuck, Sham, I have seen the video and cannot now un-see it.

I grew up rural so, yeah that's how they are but they don't run in packs like that normally.

*staggers off to wash her eyeballs with soap*

[Sham]

I'm sorry about that MDF. You might need to wash your eyes out with bleach to erase those images. I should have given a warning before posting that.

[maryanimal]

She saved my life...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ENZIaXjVAc4

[wh..sh]

I came across this suicide prevention promotion few years ago. Sometimes just keep an eye out for people around us (not just the ones we love) goes a long way.
http://www.ruokday.com.au/content/what- ... k-day.aspx

[Elliot]

*lurking*

[moonrise]

I never (or rarely) read this thread. So what is going on here? Mary Animal, why did you bump this now? When did the little girl save your life?

Wh..sh, yer a rock, no concern about you from this end (except, got any good tips for working alllll night?) I'm getting tired.

And Elliot WTF is up? Why post *lurking* Hmmm (?!!)

Now I've done it and posted here, fuck, not a happy thread that's for sure (and think of the L word freakouts!!, maybe this 4x bump will help some of 'em)

Now I've gone and fucked up everyone's morning coffee, sorry!

[Sham]

[theCryptofishist]

Many of the habitues of the suicide thread have become tough by necessity in order to survive...

(Of course, there's also a tender underbelly thing that goes on, but again most denizens have the sense to check in with others before getting too close to the whirlpool...)

[wh..sh]

Wh..sh, yer a rock, no concern about you from this end (except, got any good tips for working alllll night?) I'm getting tired.

I am a rock or the cold-blooded ones that live under the rock. Either way, not to worry about me

I have gone through a phase of depression myself and I can understand the helplessness that is associated with it. Hence decided to bump the thread.
Many people believe that depression is something that you can just wake up one morning and shrug off. Also, some with good intentions expect people to get over it.
Unfortunately, most cases of depression doesn't work that way. Hanging in there doesnt work either. Understanding that one may not be able to help someone in depression, even by providing understanding ears, is key.
If you think someone is depressed, get medical help.

Tips for working all night = power nap. Even an hour of sleep multiplies your productivity.

[moonrise]

Thanks Wh..sh, I do get better sleep these days, always at least 4 to 6 or 8. (with exception of last night and a few other nights, ugh) I call my shit "stression"

yea Fishy, I prefer the "what's your back up plan" thread ya made for everyone...I'm hoping to do both of course! meaning 2012 burn and some travel down to the Islands, any Islands! (Hawaii would be best but the Channel Islands are interesting also )


I'll unsuscribe to this thread, Moon

[lucky420]

I have taken a suicide prevention training course. It was actually very emotional and I hope that I never ever have to use it...

[theCryptofishist]

I hope so too. HOwever, I wish more people would take such courses. There is such a fundemental ignorance about depression and systems whacked out by drug use...