So my shrink said....

[tattoogoddess]

Jesus fucking christ in a god damn hand basket.

OK everyone needs to calm the fuck down.

1. Thyroid- Yes I Have a VERY bad thyroid problem. No one knows why it is the way it is. It is very low I take meds for about 3 months. I run out. Wait a month go back in (busy) and I have a normal thryroid. So they take me off the meds. I have no Idea why it does this.

2. Eating poor- On a typical day I eat under 2000 cals. Some days far less. I have not lost any weight for quite a while. Even though Im on my feet 8 hours a day doing hair or hell days like today where im working 14 hours at the salon then the bar on my feet all day running around. Nothing. Today I got one meal of a ham and cheese sandwich and a diet cherry pepsi. So yeah I have no fucking Idea what is wrong there. Would love to know.

3. I am not ashamed of how I look. I know why I got to this point. I was bullied for 6 years in Elem school and on into middle school. I had NO friends. My friend was the tv and swanse corn dogs and ice cream cups. I ate out of comfort. So yes I have no one to blame but my self for getting to this weight. I have held at 260 for the past 7 year.

If you have been a fat person you would understand this. It is not as easy as people make it out to seem to lose weight. I mean come on. 100 pounds is huge. Heck people freak out that they need to lose 10. Trying thinking you need to shed a person. If you are a fat person you know they daily hell you live with.

[graidawg]

Out of generosity I feel I should point out, i have just worked out how much i weigh by your american system and i come in at a cool 240 or there abouts and should be according to the size weight chart should be about 175. Now i have once in my adult life got down to that size and looked damn unhealthy. you could count my ribs from behind kind of unhealthy. I have also been told by a few of the members of this board that i'm not fat. well its only 20 less than TG here so i guess it depends on interpretation or is it because she's a woman?

[moonrise]

I knew this would be a slooooow moving train wreck of a thread (Simon, I miss the NYCity smoke filled, dark and mean, upper balcony hang outs in the movie theaters, always full of the bad kids, the things we'd do....)

Yea, uh, TG, one of my many many Aunts back East, a Sicilian woman, weighed 668 pounds. She claimed it was thyroid, but everyone knew it was a lie. After she died the truth came out; she could barely walk & would beat my cousins with belts lashed together, and whip them from the couch with looong extension cords until they'd bring her more food and more and more...the family even demanded she get tested for the thyroid condition, she refused. Who knows? Maybe some do have 'glandular' problems but, my doc says it's fairly rare.

Aunt El ate herself to death, a VERY painful death. She was my faovrite Aunt, out of countless (I come from a big family) she was funny, but it was a ploy to cover up the pain of losing her husband to a heart attack, then being stuck with 3 kids, bla bla bla....and she isn't my favorite after the truth came out, she was too mean spirited underneath. My cousins are terrified of food, today they're fit and in shape, and live happy lives.

IMHO, try not to get too emotional. BM could toughen you up and soften up at the same time...or blow up in your face, best you pace yourself and try to improve your health as much as possible before you go. I'm amazed your head shrinker thinks it's a good idea you go, you probably won't need a shrink afterwards, or who knows, maybe you'll need one even more.

It should take 2+ years to lose 100 pounds safely, IMHO.

http://eplaya.burningman.org/viewtopic. ... tness+club good luck and no drama in the fitness club, please.

[AntiM]

This IS an emotional issue. I know it is for me.

I was a comfort eater for a couple years, age 12~13, and, yes, because of bullying. I did outgrow that weight, but it laid the groundwork for my present problems, along with genetic predisposition. We have many plump ladies in the line. It isn't an excuse, just what is.

I'm another one of those women who can limit the food intake, and yet nothing happens unless I limit caloric intake to dangerously low levels. And I can't blame my thyroid, it is wonderfully healthy. The Tamoxifen and cancer have wrecked my system, and looming menopause is yet another trap. There's more, but enough with the organ recital.

It doesn't help that I'm cooking for a man who can consume 10,000 calories a day and not gain weight. And yes, low fat, low sodium, with a few treats for him to take away on the truck so they're not in the house. I don't cook big meals when he's gone. I'm fat, I have a nutritionist, I can quote all the fat grams and sodium levels and portion control ... most overweight people can, easily. It has been drilled into our heads.

Yes, I need more exercise, a LOT more. I'm looking at more cancer, impending diabetes and heart disease. And yet it is so difficult to move when it hurts, when it is snowing out, when it is a bad air day and if I venture out I cough and cough from the asthma. I know it is all on me, and it is damn difficult. I know I'm overweight, and I know I am to blame, I know every diet and all the exercise routines.

Newsflash, fat people know we're fat.

[Elderberry]

Check this out.

http://www.amazon.com/Younger-Next-Year ... 477&sr=8-2

I haven't read the women's version, but if it's half as good as the men's book, I'm pretty sure you'll like it.

[Elderberry]

It should take 2+ years to lose 100 pounds safely, IMHO.

http://eplaya.burningman.org/viewtopic. ... tness+club good luck and no drama in the fitness club, please.

Which is not a long time in the scheme of things.

Oh, and TG, being on your feet all day does not count as exercise, and bad eating habits and unhealthy foods are not a diet plan and actually causes weight gain.

I have a thyroid problem and before it was correctly diagnosed and brought under control. I lost 30 lbs.

Obviously YMMV.

[AntiM]

Check this out.

http://www.amazon.com/Younger-Next-Year ... 477&sr=8-2

I haven't read the women's version, but if it's half as good as the men's book, I'm pretty sure you'll like it.

I ordered it, plus a couple others. (yay super saver shipping) Although books can only do so much. If nothing else, I can lift it up and down.

[moonrise]

Yea AntiM, I hear ya'...tough situation. One tiny bit of advice that might help weight loss is eating squash, lots of it. There's some sort of digestive enzyme in the squash, the hard winter ones work for me. Papaya too, but not sure if they work as well after they radiate them for import. People move to Hawaii for the papaya, for health reasons.
Hang in there, this warm spell won't last forever!!

Thanks jkisha, glad you got the thyroid diagnosed (jk, the skinny minny, lol)

[Elderberry]

Check this out.

http://www.amazon.com/Younger-Next-Year ... 477&sr=8-2

I haven't read the women's version, but if it's half as good as the men's book, I'm pretty sure you'll like it.

I ordered it, plus a couple others. (yay super saver shipping) Although books can only do so much. If nothing else, I can lift it up and down.

I'll be really interested to hear what you think about it. It's an easy read and lots of common sense backed up by science (also explained in easy to understand terms). Plus, they aren't asking people to do extraordinary exercise or radical diet changes, unless all they do already is lay on the couch and eat junk food, in which case it might be radical! But even for those people, he has a comfortable baby steps approach.

Let me know when you getting and finish reading it. For me at my age and life fitness goals, I doubt I'll ever buy another diet or exercise book.

[tattoogoddess]

It should take 2+ years to lose 100 pounds safely, IMHO.

http://eplaya.burningman.org/viewtopic. ... tness+club good luck and no drama in the fitness club, please.

Which is not a long time in the scheme of things.

Oh, and TG, being on your feet all day does not count as exercise, and bad eating habits and unhealthy foods are not a diet plan and actually causes weight gain.

I have a thyroid problem and before it was correctly diagnosed and brought under control. I lost 30 lbs.

Obviously YMMV.

That's bullshit! I am moving around all day. Arms up and down walking around my client, Lifting things. At the bar I am walking up and down it, waiting tables, walking up and down from the basement with cases. ect ect. My ass is moving everyday.

I DO NOT HAVE BAD EATING HABITS!! FUCK!!

I REALLY wish people would get off my damn ass bout this! I did not start this topic to ask for weight loss or to people to tell me what im doing wrong with MY health.

I never once said I want to lose weight but yet I have people here telling me what I have to do and that I am some how wrong for being fat. What the hell is wrong with being overweight other then the socity does not like it. Im healthy as a god damn horse other then my thyroid. I have perfect blood pressure and perfect blood sugar. I have nothing wrong with me. No joint pains. I walk and RUN just fine. I'm just overweight.

On a typical day here is how it breaks down=
Wake up at 10, get ready for work, Take a lunch, Eat my lunch and it is usally a wheat sometimes white bagel with 98% FF turkey or chicken breast with yellow or deli mustard with a yogart. I eather have a flavored water or a diet coke. Dinner is usally something simmilar but sometimes I will have pasta or a potato.
I rarely eat over 2500 in a day If I do those cals do not come from junk food. I don't drink much pop.

So really many of you need to get off my case. I did not ask for your advice, I will not put up with you telling me I am wrong for being overweight and that somehow I am this sick person who is going to die in the next few years. To be honest I am prob more healthy then alot of you here telling me im "bad"

Fuck sometimes I wish tv and magazines never fucking appeared. At one point in this worlds life time plus size women were adored and admired. Now you only are if you are a size 4 with DD tits.

[Elderberry]

Actually, if you can't afford to pay for your own health care, your weight is of concern to every one that pays taxes.
Personally, I don't care how fat you are; if I saw you naked on the playa it wouldn't cause me to raise an eyebrow.
But, YOU ARE LIVING IN DENIAL. So don't yell at me for speaking the truth.
Sorry if you find this offensive.

[oneeyeddick]

Fuck sometimes I wish tv and magazines never fucking appeared. At one point in this worlds life time plus size women were adored and admired. Now you only are if you are a size 4 with DD tits.

07.jpg

[AntiM]

At this point, the thread is (edit:was) drifting into a general discussion thing. No one holds onto ownership of a thread for long here. Yes, there were remarks made I found infuriating myself, but I rolled with it after I was done being ticked off. That's the thing about topics on eplaya, the OP may think the thread belongs to them, but it doesn't, few threads are held to the original topic in Open Discussion. Even the fuck thread gets hijacked now and then! So while your original purpose of the thread may be crystal clear in your mind, it belongs to the eplaya now. And if you start a topic, you're going to get replies you don't like. Period. You have to decide what response is best for you. Sometimes it is choosing which replies you read, which you gloss over, which you take to heart and which you laugh off. Tough call some days.

So, you going to have your shrink read this thread? That might be interesting.

[lemur]

Fuck sometimes I wish tv and magazines never fucking appeared. At one point in this worlds life time plus size women were adored and admired. Now you only are if you are a size 4 with DD tits.

yeah, and at one point they used to sell cigarettes as "healthful" smoking and smokers were admired and adored ....then we realized we were wrong

maybe at one point people that were overweight were adored and admired.. but now we know better than to admire this as we have learned of the dangers associated with it.

while some overweight people might be "healthy" right now, I dont think there is a single medical professional who would suggest that people be overweight, or that being overweight is not a concern for people.


media and tv and magazines didnt have a monopoly on changing our perceptions of overweight people... heart disease, diabetes and funerals had a part.


and thanks to medical science.. now, whether TV or media in general lifts overweight people up as an object of adoration or not.. we know its not healthy and it should be avoided.

[tattoogoddess]

Actually, if you can't afford to pay for your own health care, your weight is of concern to every one that pays taxes.
Personally, I don't care how fat you are; if I saw you naked on the playa it wouldn't cause me to raise an eyebrow.
But, YOU ARE LIVING IN DENIAL. So don't yell at me for speaking the truth.
Sorry if you find this offensive.

Please go back and read what I posted earlier. > I < Pay for all my own medical treatment. I do not have insurance. Everytime I visit the doctor it comes out of my pocket.

How am I living in denial? There is no Law that says you have to be a size 6. It is society that makes being fat uncooth. Hell how many years did it take for people to drop the issue of people being black or people being gay. Both are genetics. I just have the genetics of a shitty thyroid. My dad has it, my grandmother has it and her mother had it. It runs in the family. It is simply nothing more then society frowning apon it. Yes there are people out there who eat pure crap and do nothing for a living and are fat. I am not one of those. I take care of my self. I rarely drink. I do not do drugs. I walk everyday, I am very active at work. I take care of my self in that sense. I also wear makeup ,do my hair and wear nice clothes. I do not look frumpy. Just cause you are fat does not give you the excuse to look like shit.


AntiM- I do understand what you are saying BUT. I did not start a thread to then have it turn into a attack session to me telling me I am wrong and am disgusting human being. No one deserves that ever. I find it funny how people say they would not bat a eye if they saw me naked on the playa but yet they feel that when they are behind the privacy of there own computer screen at home they cant let loose. Seems kind of cowardly and controdictive. So I have to ask the question. From my insite the playa is a place where people go and it is to be a place of very few judgments. But yet you can be completely a As******** when you leave? Seems a bit fake to me. This is how I have chosen to be but yet I am harshly judged for it. Some guys run around the playa with a cup covering his junk or a pink tutu they are not judged there but why are they not judged in the default world? A man wearing a pink tutu walking down the street or wearing it to work would still me ok with you? Seems a bit off to me.

I am sorry but I am standing up for my self. I am SOOOO fucking sick of how fat people are treated. even more so fat women. Men are on the top of the totem pole. Women next, then fat men then fat women. Plus it is even more so when you are fat with alot of tattoos. I have worked my ass off to be where I am at today. I have had to work so hard to achieve things I have wanted to in my life. I can say without a shread of doubt I am the best hair stylist in this town. I had to BEG for a job at one salon when I first started because no one would hire me because of my weight and tattoos. I hate the salon I got into finally. After a while I met a small salon owner and she did not judge me. She gave me a job with no hesitations. I have done very well and have a great client base who have nothing but positive things to say about me. I got it through nothing but busting my ass to prove my self to these people that I am as good hell better then these skinny preppy looking girls who do mens hair cuts day in and day out because they come to them not because they are good but because the guys find them attractive. I have people who come to me because they enjoy me and what I do. I have had to EARN my clients through a shit ton of hard work and pounding the pavement gaining peoples trust.

[Elderberry]

Excuses, excuses, excuses.
Keep 'em coming honey, you aren't hurting anyone but yourself; and it's paying the bills for your therapist.

BTW, you can NEVER win this argument. The reason? Because you do not need acceptance or validation from me or anyone else; and until you stop trying to convince others of your worth or life choices--you lose!

[lemur]

I did not start a thread to then have it turn into a attack session to me telling me I am wrong and am disgusting human being. No one deserves that ever.

people can only attack what they have available to attack, in this case: the stuff youve decided to share with us.

if youre wary of being attacked, adjust the things you share to minimize possible criticism..

youve mentioned a few times in the thread knowing society has a tilt against overweight people..and yet when people have demonstrated this fact you were taken aback..

perhaps not setting yourself up to be shot down might avoid awkward situations like this.. sometimes its better to just not give people the opportunity.. especially on a battle theres no way you can win (this thread wont change how society looks at overweight people)..

[tattoogoddess]

in that case then I should not share anything?

It called being a decent human being and letting people live there life with out being judged. I mean isnt that what burning man is about? Am I wrong? Acceptance and tolerance?

[theCryptofishist]

I was bullied for 6 years in Elem school and on into middle school. I had NO friends. My friend was the tv and swanse corn dogs and ice cream cups. I ate out of comfort. So yes I have no one to blame but my self for getting to this weight.

Actually, I don't expect kids in elementary school to be very cognizant of diet, and certainly don't blame them for getting fat.
But that's just me.

What I am seeing here is that a bunch of you feel comfortable ganging up on someone who's younger than you in real years; younger than you on the board, so she hasn't had time to make alliances that might bring more people in to her corner; and someone who is very open, at least when she is upset, and so doesn't have the sense to hide from us her weight, or the fact that she gets rides from her mother.
WTF?
It makes me feel icky. It makes me feel icky, because I've had fights with people I thought were idiots on this board, and I hope I wasn't this ugly. It makes me feel icky that people I respect, people I've hugged on playa, are taking cheap shots and treating this girl like she is inherently a public object because of her weight. I hate that. I get treated like an inherently public object every time I go out, and it's horrible. You've seen me vent. Do you not get that you're being nasty and intrusive? I'm sitting here wondering if I'm going to have to plonk friends because they are acting in a vile manner.

Am I?

[lemur]

What I am seeing here is that a bunch of you feel comfortable ganging up on someone who's younger than you in real years; younger than you on the board

what i am seeing is people not treating an adult with kid gloves.. i am seeing people not afraid to trample over the social norms you might have at workplace or with a great grandma..

yeah, some people think that people who are fat are doing it wrong.. yeah some people harshly judge others.. they normally avoid saying so because its nice to be nice to people..

some times they say exactly what they feel without coating it all in a big sheen of sugar frosting..

so what?

its not an attack on all that is holy.... would you rather people fake it?


and really, age here or on the forum or in the community has nothing to do with anything.. i judge people on what they say, how they act.. i could care less if they are an esteemed elder or a clueless tween..

impress us (or not) with your words.. not your resume.

[junglesmacks]

I mean isnt that what burning man is about? Am I wrong? Acceptance and tolerance?

Do not confuse the playa with eplaya.

[Elderberry]

and really, age here or on the forum or in the community has nothing to do with anything.. i judge people on what they say, how they act.. i could care less if they are an esteemed elder or a clueless tween..

impress us (or not) with your words.. not your resume.

YIKES! I'd better start watching and dotting my p's and q's. I feel naked not being able to play the elder card.

[tattoogoddess]

I mean isnt that what burning man is about? Am I wrong? Acceptance and tolerance?

Do not confuse the playa with eplaya.

Well then people are two faced and hypocrits. Why in the hell would you want to be friends with people like that. How I am here is who I am all the time. I am friendly and lovible but all be damned if I am going to put up with being bullied and have others treat me with no respect or hell others for that matter. There are to many people out there that simply think they can treat people like shit because they have the saftey of being behind the computer screen. I hope you do not forget that you will be at burning man and so will I. I do not forget things that have been said. What I say here I have no issue what so ever saying to your face. There will be no fight but all be damned I don't take shit like this here or in person. I guess that is the difference between me and many others. I'm not a 2 sided person at this point I'm starting to think my balls are bigger then yours. Really? Attacking a person over the internet but would not say jack and BM. HA! Someshit never surprises me about people.

and fishy. High fucking five to you! You are getting a god damn cupcake and a big hug when I meet you!

[theCryptofishist]

It called being a decent human being and letting people live there life with out being judged. I mean isnt that what burning man is about? Am I wrong? Acceptance and tolerance?

Burningman is about fires and explosions in the desert. Everything else is the entourage, as it were.
You are probably confused because "radical community" and "radical acceptance"* are part of the 10 principles.

This community will stick up for it's members in all sorts of amazing ways. Do not underestimate that.

But, there is a "membership fee". (This is in no way different from any other community, there is some sort of way of ascertaining that the new member will not harm the community. It's hugely symbolic, rites of passage stuff. I don't know if you were ever the new kid in school, but there wasn't instant acceptance, unless the kid happened to be a natural politician.) In many cases the "fee" is the street cred for having been to the event. Although this is changing, it's still out there without many amenities and with tough conditions. But you haven't been to the desert yet. Showing up at other local events (decompressions, regional burns) can show intent, and yes, being on the boards can be an entrance.

I suggest that you plonk (or foe) junglesmacks, lemur, and jkishka, and interact with people who are a little more open to you. You can always unplonk them later. a while back (and I'm not going look for it) lemur said something about your not sounding like you were prepared. I think that prepping for the burn and really thinking it through, especially as you have 10 months, might lead you to solve some of those problems for yourself. It could give you something to strive for.
And we are a bunch of fuckos. Don't take us seriously, and looking to us for approval might not be wise.

* or something like that. I'm not going to chase them down so I can quote them properly.

[tattoogoddess]

what i am seeing is people not treating an adult with kid gloves.. i am seeing people not afraid to trample over the social norms you might have at workplace or with a great grandma..

yeah, some people think that people who are fat are doing it wrong.. yeah some people harshly judge others.. they normally avoid saying so because its nice to be nice to people..

some times they say exactly what they feel without coating it all in a big sheen of sugar frosting..

so what?

its not an attack on all that is holy.... would you rather people fake it?

well let me ask you this. If you had some trait about about you that was less then desrible about you. Say you had a tattoo or where muslum or some other hot topic thing. How would you feel about being belittled EVERYDAY about it in some way. A look, a laugh, a comment, ect. Would you enjoy having the headache of dealing with it everyday? Most likely not. Everyone has the right to live there life how they want and no be judged for it. Yes some people do shit I think is foolish but I don't go up to them and make snarky remarks or tell them how they need to live there life. If that is how they want to live it and are happy in life minus the comments. Then good for them! Im glad they are ejoying there life. Every one has the right to be happy. So if you have to "fake" it to help someone be happy in life. What is wrong with that. Have you ever heard the term. If you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all? There is a reason for that. It just brings people down and what is the goal of trying to bring someone down? How does this solve anything? It just makes more issues and headaches. Just let people live in there life of haplessness. If they are a functioning person harming no one what is the issue? I am not taking food or money away from you, im not a drunk hitting the roads, im not a perv waiting in a van out side a elem school with candy. What harm am I causing to any of you by being the way I am? So what concern of it is it to you that I am overweight? It has nothing to do with any of you. It is purely socially taboo to be overweight done by media.


Question- If you saw a skinny stoner who flipped burgers for a living who ate a whole bag of Doritos and a 2 liter of mt dew in a day would you yell at him for doing that? Most likely not.

If you saw a 260 pound person with 2 jobs that are active that ate a whole bag and that 2 liter, would you snicker and think to your self wow that person needs to put that shit down? Most likely yes.

Both people are eating very unhealthy but if a skinny person does it is not a huge deal. Seems a bit of a double standard.

[lemur]

stop guilt tripping everyone else...

the media.. society.. whatever..

when you speak of it in those terms instead of focusing on the individuals who have done you harm you open yourself to critics whove never met you... becaue youve unintentionally vilified them for something theyve possibly never done.. (i.e. bullly fat people)

ive never met you, but ive already been vilified for the bullying you feel society has done to you just by being a member of said society..

please, leave me (and everyone else your rants are focusing at whove never seen you) out of it..

as ive seen this thread no one person has bullied you about your weight or anything else... people have responded without personal attacks to things youve (and others) said as the discussion rolled along.. theyve voiced their opinions about stuff, without reservation.....

the most offensive things ive seen here are what i saw as patronizing remarks by crypto about TG being young and vulnerable... as we can see, she can stand up for herself...... and the remarks by TG herself that apply blame for bullying upon people who were voicing opinions that had no ill intent..

much ado about nothing!

[Simon of the Playa]

http://www.Tapeworm.com

[tattoogoddess]

stop guilt tripping everyone else...

the media.. society.. whatever..

when you speak of it in those terms instead of focusing on the individuals who have done you harm you open yourself to critics whove never met you... becaue youve unintentionally vilified them for something theyve possibly never done.. (i.e. bullly fat people)

ive never met you, but ive already been vilified for the bullying you feel society has done to you just by being a member of said society..

please, leave me (and everyone else your rants are focusing at whove never seen you) out of it..

as ive seen this thread no one person has bullied you about your weight or anything else... people have responded without personal attacks to things youve (and others) said as the discussion rolled along.. theyve voiced their opinions about stuff, without reservation.....

the most offensive things ive seen here are what i saw as patronizing remarks by crypto about TG being young and vulnerable... as we can see, she can stand up for herself...... and the remarks by TG herself that apply blame for bullying upon people who were voicing opinions that had no ill intent..

much ado about nothing!

So posting pics of two fat girls who are not attractive eating food is not bullying is what you are saying? or saying to go eat a tape worm to make my self sick so i can be skinny. Not Bullying?
Correct me if im wrong but how is posting mocking photos not bullying? Why where not photos of beautiful plus size women not posted? They have been photos of people unattractive people because people find it good for a laugh. Lets face is people laugh at people who are unattractive such as fat people or people with birth defects.Nothing right or kind about that.


This is NOT us!





This is what WE look like

[lemur]

So posting pics of two fat girls who are not attractive eating food is not bullying is what you are saying? or saying to go eat a tape worm to make my self sick so i can be skinny. Not Bullying?
Correct me if im wrong but how is posting mocking photos not bullying? Why where not photos of beautiful plus size women not posted? They have been photos of people unattractive people because people find it good for a laugh. Lets face is people laugh at people who are unattractive such as fat people or people with birth defects.Nothing right or kind about that.

the posting of two fat girls eating mcdonalds didnt mention any one individual.. it may have been posted in a thread you started and as a result of you mentioning your weight but i didnt see it as an attack on any individual, it was a statement about how they feel in general, for everyone, therefore to me it wasnt bullying, as i see bullying as personal attacks and not offensive remarks as general..

Maybe I missed it, but i didnt see anything about tapeworms posted in this thread.... perhaps it happened elsewhere (i went back and searched for 'tape' and 'worm in the previous pages...) I cant speak to the tape worm accusations.. EDIT: i just saw the tapeworm thing. thats clearly a joke.

Again I didnt see the photos as mocking any one person in particular, or as mocking at all. The photograph coincided with the posters opinion about gluttonous behavior.. it didnt portray it in a good light,.. and that opinion wasnt, as i saw it, aimed at an individual.

[Elderberry]

I'll post this again, obviously you missed it the first time.

BTW, you can NEVER win this argument. The reason? Because you do not need acceptance or validation from me or anyone else; and until you stop trying to convince others of your worth or life choices--you lose!