So my shrink said....

[junglesmacks]

Don't let the screen door hit you on the ass on the way out the door..

Now who could this remark have been made for? This might be a mind blower for the OP!

Should I change it to "Don't let it get STUCK on the way out?"

Too soon! Too soon!







Edit: You know, in general. Nothing personal. All of us. Don't get stuck in doors. They're bad, bad things.


I'm officially going to hell now.

[lemur]

FIND THE MIDDLE GROUND THIS SUNDAY AT THUNDERDOME.

[AntiM]

That was "stuck" remark Not Nice. I know snark like that would make me cry, even though I knew it was a joke.

[wh..sh]

See, I always find
And I always find
Yeah, I always find somethin' wrong
You been puttin' up with my shit just way too long
I'm so gifted at findin' what I don't like the most

So I think it's time for us to have a toast
Let's have a toast for the douchebags,
Let's have a toast for the assholes,
Let's have a toast for the scumbags,
Every one of them that I know
Let's have a toast to the jerkoffs
That'll never take work off
Baby, I got a plan
Run away fast as you can

- Kanye west (

Toast to ePlaya!

[Nipple]

Wh..sh,

Don't send those kinds of pictures in emails.

[lemur]

FLEE, my friend, into your solitude! I see you deafened with the noise of the great men, and stung all over with the stings of the little ones. Forest and rock know how to be silent with you. Be like the tree which you love, the broad-branched one- silently and attentively it overhangs the sea.

Where solitude ends, there begins the market-place; and where the market-place begins, there begins also the noise of the great actors, and the buzzing of the poison-flies.

Full of clattering fools is the market-place,- and the people glory in their great men! These are for them the masters of the hour.

On account of those abrupt ones, return into your security: only in the market-place is one assailed by Yes? or No?

Flee, my friend, into your solitude: I see you stung all over by the poisonous flies. Flee to where a rough, strong breeze blows! Flee into your solitude! you have lived too closely to the small and the pitiful. Flee from their invisible vengeance! For you they have nothing but vengeance.

No longer raise your arm against them! They are innumerable, and it is not your task to shoo flies. Innumerable are the small and pitiful ones; and rain-drops and weeds have been the ruin of many a proud structure.

You are not stone; but already have you become hollow from many drops. You will yet break and burst from the many drops.

I see you exhausted by poisonous flies; I see you bleeding and torn at a hundred spots; and your pride refuses even to be angry.

They would have blood from you in all innocence; blood is what bloodless souls crave- and therefore they sting in all innocence.

But you, profound one, you suffer too profoundly even from small wounds; and before you have healed, the same poison-worm crawls over your hand.

You are too proud to kill these gluttons. But take care lest it be your fate to suffer all their poisonous injustice!

They think much about you with their petty souls- you are always suspect to them! Whatever is much thought about is at last thought suspicious.

Even when you are gentle towards them, they still feel themselves despised by you; and they repay your beneficence with secret maleficence.

Your silent pride is always counter to their taste; they rejoice if once you are humble enough to be vain.

Yes, my friend, you are the bad conscience of your neighbors, for they are unworthy of you. Therefore they hate you, and would rather suck your blood.

Flee, my friend, into your solitude- and there, where a rough strong breeze blows. It is not your lot to shoo flies.-

Thus spoke Zarathustra.

(abridged for your pleasure)

[wh..sh]

Wh..sh,

Don't send those kinds of pictures in emails.

You are really hurting me now. Why don't you want the pictures?

[Nipple]

Oh, I meant to the good girls. I'm just a hood rat.

[deutlich]

That was "stuck" remark Not Nice. I know snark like that would make me cry, even though I knew it was a joke.

*raises hand*

Me too.

Although, looking at me now you'd never even think I know wtf that feels like.. (down to a size 4/6). But for me it was always my mom who cut me down to pieces. She meant well. She really did. She just..sucked a whole lot at delivery. For me, as a black woman (cuz in good ole' 'Merica you'se black even if you'se just got a drop), being bigger wasn't such an issue. Like, I never had anyone else ever say anything to me about my weight. Because again, it's a bit more "normal".."accepted" ... "expected?!" in the black community to be nicely plump. But whoooo doggie did I get an earful from mi madre.

Dunno which is worse? Perfect strangers doing it or family?

Either way it sucks ass.

[wh..sh]

Oh, I meant to the good girls. I'm just a hood rat.

Wh..sh never sends pictures because she is camera shy. But wonder what happened when I blacked out.
Its only bad if we get pictures of penis. Its not bad if you get pictures of female body parts.

[Elderberry]

OMG You're BLACK!

[junglesmacks]

I think it's group hug time again..

[burner von braun]

OK, THAT'S IT! class, eveyone's staying after school for detention

[Elderberry]

Its only bad if we get pictures of penis. Its not bad if you get pictures of female body parts.

Hmmm....I'm not so sure about that.

[wh..sh]

Its only bad if we get pictures of penis. Its not bad if you get pictures of female body parts.

Hmmm....I'm not so sure about that.

Yes yes, penis is good as well.



Wait, was that your argument?

[junglesmacks]

JK.. you still have that pickle in the freezer?

[Elderberry]

JK.. you still have that pickle in the freezer?

LOL No, we found it when packing up for burning man. It tasted OK, but not as good as frozen grapes.

[Sail Man]

Excuses, excuses, excuses.
Keep 'em coming honey, you aren't hurting anyone but yourself; and it's paying the bills for your therapist.

BTW, you can NEVER win this argument. The reason? Because you do not need acceptance or validation from me or anyone else; and until you stop trying to convince others of your worth or life choices--you lose!

That is a mean spiteful thing to say John. Maybe you can point me to a thread where TG stated that your worth in society was equally worthless because you are gay.

[Sail Man]

I did not start a thread to then have it turn into a attack session to me telling me I am wrong and am disgusting human being. No one deserves that ever.

people can only attack what they have available to attack, in this case: the stuff youve decided to share with us.

if youre wary of being attacked, adjust the things you share to minimize possible criticism..

youve mentioned a few times in the thread knowing society has a tilt against overweight people..and yet when people have demonstrated this fact you were taken aback..

perhaps not setting yourself up to be shot down might avoid awkward situations like this.. sometimes its better to just not give people the opportunity.. especially on a battle theres no way you can win (this thread wont change how society looks at overweight people)..

So this is then an excuse to justify personal attacks against TG?

Obviously bullying continues long past school years.

Just because somebody opens/bares their heart and soul does not give you all the right to shit on her because of it.

Burning Man is supposed to be an all inclusive society.




I am ashamed by many of you today after reading this thread.

[tamarakay]

That was "stuck" remark Not Nice. I know snark like that would make me cry, even though I knew it was a joke.

*raises hand*

Me too.

Although, looking at me now you'd never even think I know wtf that feels like.. (down to a size 4/6). But for me it was always my mom who cut me down to pieces. She meant well. She really did. She just..sucked a whole lot at delivery. For me, as a black woman (cuz in good ole' 'Merica you'se black even if you'se just got a drop), being bigger wasn't such an issue. Like, I never had anyone else ever say anything to me about my weight. Because again, it's a bit more "normal".."accepted" ... "expected?!" in the black community to be nicely plump. But whoooo doggie did I get an earful from mi madre.

Dunno which is worse? Perfect strangers doing it or family?

Either way it sucks ass.

This is my mom "oh is that a new dress? Very pretty and a great color on you. Too bad you couldn't lose about 10 pounds before you bought it." LOL I learned long ago not to get my self worth/esteem from her. Love her dearly, but with some filters/blocks up.

[Sail Man]

I was bullied for 6 years in Elem school and on into middle school. I had NO friends. My friend was the tv and swanse corn dogs and ice cream cups. I ate out of comfort. So yes I have no one to blame but my self for getting to this weight.

Actually, I don't expect kids in elementary school to be very cognizant of diet, and certainly don't blame them for getting fat.
But that's just me.

What I am seeing here is that a bunch of you feel comfortable ganging up on someone who's younger than you in real years; younger than you on the board, so she hasn't had time to make alliances that might bring more people in to her corner; and someone who is very open, at least when she is upset, and so doesn't have the sense to hide from us her weight, or the fact that she gets rides from her mother.
WTF?
It makes me feel icky. It makes me feel icky, because I've had fights with people I thought were idiots on this board, and I hope I wasn't this ugly. It makes me feel icky that people I respect, people I've hugged on playa, are taking cheap shots and treating this girl like she is inherently a public object because of her weight. I hate that. I get treated like an inherently public object every time I go out, and it's horrible. You've seen me vent. Do you not get that you're being nasty and intrusive? I'm sitting here wondering if I'm going to have to plonk friends because they are acting in a vile manner.

Am I?

Yeah! What Crypto said!

[junglesmacks]

FWIW, yes.. that was a cruel, insensitive and unjustified remark. Mob mentality got the best of me and when mixed with morning emails and caffeine, funny things happen. I apologize and humbly retract.

[lemur]

I did not start a thread to then have it turn into a attack session to me telling me I am wrong and am disgusting human being. No one deserves that ever.

people can only attack what they have available to attack, in this case: the stuff youve decided to share with us.

if youre wary of being attacked, adjust the things you share to minimize possible criticism..

youve mentioned a few times in the thread knowing society has a tilt against overweight people..and yet when people have demonstrated this fact you were taken aback..

perhaps not setting yourself up to be shot down might avoid awkward situations like this.. sometimes its better to just not give people the opportunity.. especially on a battle theres no way you can win (this thread wont change how society looks at overweight people)..

So this is then an excuse to justify personal attacks against TG?

Obviously bullying continues long past school years.

Just because somebody opens/bares their heart and soul does not give you all the right to shit on her because of it.

Burning Man is supposed to be an all inclusive society.




I am ashamed by many of you today after reading this thread.

it's a fact. you saw it demonstrated in this thread (and elsewhere)..


i made no claims about justifications or excuses for anyones actions, please, don't infer such.

[tamarakay]

SailMan, I feel like i need to point out to you that no one said she was a disgusting human being but her. It got pretty ugly there at the end, but she invented the ugly all on her own.(with the exception of the awful picture jkisha included with his post)

I'm not buying into the mollycoddle her cause she's sensitive and fragile. Drama was sought and drama was delivered. Probably more than she bargained for, but i'm willing to bet this is a pattern for her. She reminds me a lot of ME when i was a teenager.

[Elderberry]

Excuses, excuses, excuses.
Keep 'em coming honey, you aren't hurting anyone but yourself; and it's paying the bills for your therapist.

BTW, you can NEVER win this argument. The reason? Because you do not need acceptance or validation from me or anyone else; and until you stop trying to convince others of your worth or life choices--you lose!

That is a mean spiteful thing to say John. Maybe you can point me to a thread where TG stated that your worth in society was equally worthless because you are gay.

Huh?! Maybe you should read that again. There is absolutely nothing mean or spiteful in what I said.
I placed no blame or judgement on who she is. All I said is that as long as she refuses to accept herself for who she is rather than trying to convince us to accept her, she has lost the argument. If she believes she is beautiful at her weight and is comfortable in her skin, that is all that is necessary. She doesn't have to convince anyone else.

I don't need her, or you or anyone else to validate my life choices for me to be happy with myself. I'm not here crying or begging or trying to convince you to accept me for who or what I am. I am just here being me.

So, pardon me for being thick on this, but how is that mean or spiteful? I could be misunderstanding myself.

[wh..sh]

I think this is the most meaningful thread on ePlaya as far as I am concerned.

Initially when I came back from playa, I had some dejected feeling about Burning man, about transient nature of things and so on.
Some of them (if I remember it right it was lemur) said that Burning man IS "real world". Honestly, at that point I did not quite understand what they were saying.
But this thread is an eye-opener. I now sort of understand what they meant.

[AntiM]

I would say JK's original remark about her weight was what enraged her, and the picture was hurtful. To be fair, the words disgusting, etc, came from her. More thoughtless and low spirited posting than outright name calling. And I do feel far too much was read into posts which were on a tangent, conversations on the side, and just jackassery which had little substance.

Yes, that could have been me posting not too long ago. I wasn't terribly comfortable with all of this at all, and I'm still struggling with a coherent way to explain how perfectly reasonable remarks become bullying in a certain context. I'm very divided, I agree that one shouldn't hang stuff out to air and then complain about the mud, but then again, if you know someone isn't riding the same bus as the rest of us, is it fair to chuck crap on their windshield and make them wreck?

[Elderberry]

I would say JK's original remark about her weight was what enraged her, and the picture was hurtful.

There were parts of that post that were a bit...uncalled for maybe.
Interestingly enough, she was more the catalyst for the post than the object of it. I was more set off by people that are so quick to encourage unhealthy behaviors just because it's the politically correct thing to do, than I was that she was overweight. All the women in my family are overweight--doesn't mean I love them any less.

[tummler]

Delurking to say I've followed this thread with interest. Maybe it's because I weigh what TG weighs. (Why am I fat? I consume more calories than I expend, for reasons that are between my deep psychological block and my therapist.)

I'm struck that the OP received all sorts of body acceptance support in her intro thread but reacts so strongly to any less-welcoming comment here, even ones that are clearly not addressed to her. Look, 50,000 people attend BM/11, and 25 or so have posted on this thread. Why drag these few posts so deeply into yourself it wounds you? Rather, take those posts and the posts from your "Introducing Myself" and do what you want with them--read them, don't read them, act, or react--but take responsibility for your anger and your self-acceptance.

TG, your sig line says, "The greatest pleasure in life is doing what people say you cannot do." But, why do you care what someone else says you can and cannot do? I mean, really, why do you care what a miniscule percentage of folks on a bulletin board say? Once you know why you care, then maybe you can begin to let the chatter go. I hope for you that your greatest pleasure in life will eventually be doing what you, yourself, have told yourself you cannot do.

(wanders off to introduce self on proper forum.)

[MyDearFriend]

(((Tummler))) that was very well said. Welcome to the conversation. It goes on 24/7/365, I guess you know that, but I'm glad you've given us your trust and your participation. Welcome.

I have been watching this thread like a train wreck, and keeping my mouth shut, but now I'll say this:

I am with (was it Tamara?) on the drama sought being given, and the handholding thing with AntiM... it's hard. It's tiring. And when the outrage seems mostly to be based in delusions of self-reference... There is no way to get someone else to see beyond her nose; she has to do that for herself.

Maybe TTiTD will help her look beyond. Or maybe it will be all drama all the time wherever she goes.

(((Fishy))), I'm sorry all this made you feel icky. I did not see as much bullying as I saw her persistent twisting of other people's posts to make them all about her.

Junglesmacks you need a smack, I am thinking, but I am not going to give it to you.