Troll Bait

[Clar-i-ty]

What are all the things you would change about Burning Man?

[Sham]

I would consider moving it to a resort area, like Tahoe or Branson MO for instance. I think having hotels with hot showers and restaurants would be a big improvement. It could even be turned into a full time event with permanent exhibits and attractions that would be fun for the whole family. I envision something more mainstream with animated mascots and characters to attract large crowds--maybe along the lines of a Burning Man theme park.

[oneeyeddick]

I would burn the Man on Thursdays instead of on Saturdays.

[Elderberry]

I would consider moving it to a resort area, like Tahoe or Branson MO for instance. I think having hotels with hot showers and restaurants would be a big improvement. It could even be turned into a full time event with permanent exhibits and attractions that would be fun for the whole family. I envision something more mainstream with animated mascots and characters to attract large crowds--maybe along the lines of a Burning Man theme park.

Maybe then I could convince my butler to go! (it would be a working vacation, of course.)

[Eric]

I would only let people in who've been before, but they would have to go through a vetting process. I'm a huge fan of bureaucracy, so there would have to be lots of forms to fill out and lots of required documentation (how long did you spend mooping? Please show your mooping timecards from 1998 - 2006; please show us the quantity of nails purchased for your art project in 2009 & their weight, and the forms showing the weight of nails you removed from the playa the same year; etc) and I'd require each prospect to submit long-form hand written testimonials from people that I personally know to even begin the process.

Of course all entries would have to be approved in full by a board of 12 people chosen entirely by me to fit my vision of the event.

I would also get first choice of the pretty boys, but that's a given.

[Elderberry]

I would only let people in who've been before, but they would have to go through a vetting process. I'm a huge fan of bureaucracy, so there would have to be lots of forms to fill out and lots of required documentation (how long did you spend mooping? Please show your mooping timecards from 1998 - 2006; please show us the quantity of nails purchased for your art project in 2009 & their weight, and the forms showing the weight of nails you removed from the playa the same year; etc) and I'd require each prospect to submit long-form hand written testimonials from people that I personally know to even begin the process.

Of course all entries would have to be approved in full by a board of 12 people chosen entirely by me to fit my vision of the event.

I would also get first choice of the pretty boys, but that's a given.

Don't we pretty much already do this when we fill out our theme camp applications?

[unjonharley]

Of course all entries would have to be approved in full by a board of 12 people chosen entirely by me to fit my vision of the event.

I would also get first choice of the pretty boys, but that's a given.

Are you dis ing my poor old sack of door knobs body??

[Roberto Dobbisano]

mandatory sunrise naked yoga.

second tier/higher price for those who want to use two-ply they brought with them.

stetsons for everyone.

offer time shares at Fly...

[wh..sh]

I would consider moving it to a resort area, like Tahoe or Branson MO for instance. I think having hotels with hot showers and restaurants would be a big improvement. It could even be turned into a full time event with permanent exhibits and attractions that would be fun for the whole family. I envision something more mainstream with animated mascots and characters to attract large crowds--maybe along the lines of a Burning Man theme park.

Adding to your suggestions, how about we ban alcohol?

[ygmir]

I would consider moving it to a resort area, like Tahoe or Branson MO for instance. I think having hotels with hot showers and restaurants would be a big improvement. It could even be turned into a full time event with permanent exhibits and attractions that would be fun for the whole family. I envision something more mainstream with animated mascots and characters to attract large crowds--maybe along the lines of a Burning Man theme park.

Adding to your suggestions, how about we ban alcohol?

which would lead to a ban on fornication.

[Simon of the Playa]

east coast ghetto where we can bitch and moan about how much more we have to endure and prepare for the burn and thats why we are so fucking bitter.

on that note, a free service for east coasters to receive, store and transport contraband to the playa because you can only shove so much up your ass while flying into reno.

[ygmir]

east coast ghetto where we can bitch and moan about how much more we have to endure and prepare for the burn and thats why we are so fucking bitter.

on that note, a free service for east coasters to receive, store and transport contraband to the playa because you can only shove so much up your ass while flying into reno.

colostomy bag.............

[FIGJAM]

Let there be pornadoes!

[Simon of the Playa]

east coast ghetto where we can bitch and moan about how much more we have to endure and prepare for the burn and thats why we are so fucking bitter.

on that note, a free service for east coasters to receive, store and transport contraband to the playa because you can only shove so much up your ass while flying into reno.

colostomy bag.............

where would i put my colostomies then?

[Sham]

where would i put my colostomies then?

I KNOW, I KNOW--PICK ME!

[ygmir]

east coast ghetto where we can bitch and moan about how much more we have to endure and prepare for the burn and thats why we are so fucking bitter.

on that note, a free service for east coasters to receive, store and transport contraband to the playa because you can only shove so much up your ass while flying into reno.

colostomy bag.............

where would i put my colostomies then?

in the coloset.

[Sail Man]

I would consider moving it to a resort area, like Tahoe or Branson MO for instance. I think having hotels with hot showers and restaurants would be a big improvement. It could even be turned into a full time event with permanent exhibits and attractions that would be fun for the whole family. I envision something more mainstream with animated mascots and characters to attract large crowds--maybe along the lines of a Burning Man theme park.

Adding to your suggestions, how about we ban alcohol?

which would lead to a ban on fornication.

There's fornication at burning man?

[Sham]

By fornication, do you mean building large wooden structures to set a blaze at the end of the week?

[FIGJAM]

That would be firenication.

[Sham]

By firenication do mean fucking someone so long and hard that you actually cause flames to emanate from their crotchal area?

[Sail Man]

By firenication do mean fucking someone so long and hard that you actually cause flames to emanate from their crotchal area?

Brings a whole new meaning to "Fire in the hole!"

[FIGJAM]

By firenication do mean fucking someone so long and hard that you actually cause flames to emanate from their crotchal area?

I never needed a wooden structure or a whole week for that activity, but maybe I'm doing it wrong or you're more creative.

[Sham]

Now that you mention it, I have been using this as a lubricant.

[wh..sh]

Now that you mention it, I have been using this as a lubricant.

LSHMSFOAIDMT!!!!!

[TomServo]

bring back the drive by shooting range!

[sandgoddess]

The poor Man needs a partner with all that pffffffornicatin' going on. I'm pretty sure he's bi and doesn't give a rip what he fucks as he burns.

[Nipple]

GUYS!

This whole LOTTERY thing is getting out of control.

I just got my email saying I had won a $120 tier ticket in the opt-in, invitation only, secret squirrel beta test lottery!

It was SUPER easy.

[wh..sh]

I just got my email saying I had won a $120 tier ticket in the opt-in, invitation only, secret squirrel beta test lottery!

And I was just offered of $47,500,000 by the Nigerian family. I am buying Burning Man. It was super EASY!

[kingsoon]

I just got my email saying I had won a $120 tier ticket in the opt-in, invitation only, secret squirrel beta test lottery!

And I was just offered of $47,500,000 by the Nigerian family. I am buying Burning Man. It was super EASY!

I am are hoping, to hearing back at you soon for your helping offer. For much cash and expertly finance.

[Clar-i-ty]

Now that you mention it, I have been using this as a lubricant.

And let the board say "FUCK YEAH!"