Achilles Anonymous

[delle]

We’ve got a motivational thread for weight loss and exercise. We’ve got one for help with everything from Crafts to Cooling. What we don’t have is a thread for getting the motivation (and maybe even help) for getting shit done that’s HARD for us.

My Achilles Heel is housework. Although by no means a hoarder, I AM a packrat. Not dirty, but frequently messy. Besides being extremely frustrating, this disorder makes my soul weep. Still, I rarely have the motivation to get any further than just pushing piles around, and have only rarely found myself in that blissful state of Organization.

Recently I had a friend come in and coach me on what needed to be done. After the first rush, I lost my motivation and started ignoring it again. Unfortunately I also started avoiding my friend. She had become the Neat Police. She represented Work, and my failure to get it done. She made me feel even guiltier than I had before we’d started the project, even tho she never mentioned it, and wasn’t the least bit judgemental.
I came to a realization: I don’t do well faced with a LARGE task. Even broken down into smaller tasks, I frequently find myself lacking the motivation to get started. I NEED positive prodding and suggestions to get me going. But I end up resenting the messenger to the point where I’ll ignore them.

Which got me thinking.....

Maybe if there was a thread in here for motivation to overcome our weak spots. A non-judgemental place to simply suggest and encourage. Maybe to post little (and I mean LITTLE) challenges, like clean One Shelf, or find One article that you’re keeping purely for sentimental reasons.... (which may well spark so much more).

...which of course has to do with MY Achilles heel.

I’m hoping that this would go much MUCH further....

[delle]

My great accomplishment for the day was finding my diningroom table.

The 4-foot diameter chinese rice-paddy hat is OFF the table. As are the LPs and the cassettes. The pens are all back in the pen jar, and the tools all where they were meant to be in the first place. I ate the 6 remaining hemp and sesame chips and was able to finally throw the damned bag away. My sewing machine is back in the sewing room and the compound mitre saw is in Kenny's truck, ready to get to work.

The piles of paper have been unfortunately reshuffled into other piles, but what the heck. It's still an improvement.

My challenge to myself?

Try not to put anything on the table that doesn't belong on the table ------ for a WEEK!

A whole Week!

Starts now.

I'll let you know how it goes.

[FIGJAM]

My rule of thumb: If I have'nt touched it, thought about it, or seen it in a year, it goes.

Tools don't count!

Your safe!!!

I think about YOU all the time!

[maryanimal]

Thank you for this thread delle. As I look around my room, I am in the same boat you are. My small living space needs to be tidied up. But I have no desire to do it. No motivation. It may take me an hour to do it, I just don't want to right now. I know I feel much better when I do tidy up! I'll take baby steps tomorrow!

Thank you so much for this thread! *hugs*

[Elliot]

Me too! Me too!

[ygmir]

Dang........that's me, too..............

[DanusLight]

Yay Delle for progress!

I make a list of things that need to be tackled. For me, even though the chore/task has been completed, there's something about crossing it off the list.

So, tomorrow after work, I will tackle my closet!

Thank You Delle!

[TinkerMom]

Well, if I could only figure out how to pass on my OCD. I would gladly share it with you all.

[wh..sh]

Clothes are usually what takes over me... what I have been doing for few years now is, for every clothing I buy, I give away one.
This has really helped me keep my closet controllable.

[Savannah]

I love To Do lists, especially for the Burn, but have learned that for best results, "Choose 5 items from the closet to give to charity" is kinder and more effective than simply "Clean out closet", which could take weeks or months.

Or "Clean something in room X" (for which I am able to make a good faith effort) instead of "Clean room X", which can lead to a deceptive feeling of failure if I don't complete everything in one evening.

Watching Hoarders also makes me start cleaning . . . about 10 minutes in. (Partly just because the show is hard to watch, but also because it's a good reminder that 1) it's a slippery slope and 2) there but for the grace of God go I.)

[unjonharley]

Just claim out loud, This room is clean and close the door

[Elderberry]

I used to have long to-do lists, which can be frustrating just to look at them.

I now only put three things on my list and make sure all three get done each day. Next day, three more.

Three things isn't really that many, yet if you accomplish three things every day, a whole hell of a lot gets done. Plus, it gives you a great feeling of accomplishment finishing the list every day.

Three things too many? Start with two, or one. Just make sure it gets crossed off by the end of the day, every day.

[lucky420]

Just claim out loud, This room is clean and close the door

lol unjohn!!

Delle, I too suffer from this too. It doesn't help that my daughter moved home for a bit and is the same way...
I can't stand the clutter but don't do enough to really make a dent or if I do it doesn't last long. I think I am like this because my mom when I was growing up was so damn anal about a clean house (love my mom). In our linen closet the towels had to be lined up just perfect like in a dept. store that nobody has gone through yet. She is not this way any longer and we now laugh about it. So maybe I'm still rebelling? Anyhoo that's my excuse and I'm sticking to it!

[BBadger]

Sorry, but I'm the kind who will discourage you from doing housework if you don't need to. I like the "disorder" in the place I live, because it has its own type of "natural order" that fits the way I live. Why put stuff away unless 1) something needs to be found where it was taken, 2) the space is multi-use and must be cleared, 3) it's going to spoil. You're just doing double work if you're putting stuff away, only to take it back out.

I also like visiting peoples' homes who keep their living spaces personal and human. A project here, a notepad there. Stuff placed where it is convenient, not so much looking good. My friends apologize for the mess; I thank them for letting me see it.

So I guess I wonder: do you really need to care? Is there a deeper reason why you want everything cleaned up? Is it because you're embarrassed that other people see your shit everywhere? Is it a pain to move around? Is it just one thing in a list of many you don't feel you can accomplish?

If you haven't done it yet, maybe it's just not important enough to do it, and maybe that's just how it should remain.

[lemur]

long ago in a art class i was in someone was talking about making some art and having a show of it at their home, but they added.. theyd need to clean up first..

the professor who was suggesting people show more of their work chimed in and said to the class "raise your hand if you would need to clean up before youd invite the class over"

everyone (including the prof) raised their hand..


i think the point was well made!

[Elderberry]

long ago in a art class i was in someone was talking about making some art and having a show of it at their home, but they added.. theyd need to clean up first..

the professor who was suggesting people show more of their work chimed in and said to the class "raise your hand if you would need to clean up before youd invite the class over"

everyone (including the prof) raised their hand..


i think the point was well made!

Yup, and the point was that none of them had a cleaning lady!

[delle]

JKisha. LOVE the 3-item list. Now just to make sure that the items don't read something like

1. Clean the house
2. Clean the woodshed; and
3. Clean the shop.


So today my list is going to read:

1. Unjumble the wires at the "charging station";
2. Liberate the surface of the egg-hatcher; and
3. Empty the area underneath the kitchen bar.

The 3 are in the same zone, so it should make a huge difference in that area.

[delle]

Sorry, but I'm the kind who will discourage you from doing housework if you don't need to. I like the "disorder" in the place I live, because it has its own type of "natural order" that fits the way I live. Why put stuff away unless 1) something needs to be found where it was taken, 2) the space is multi-use and must be cleared, 3) it's going to spoil. You're just doing double work if you're putting stuff away, only to take it back out.

I also like visiting peoples' homes who keep their living spaces personal and human. A project here, a notepad there. Stuff placed where it is convenient, not so much looking good. My friends apologize for the mess; I thank them for letting me see it.

So I guess I wonder: do you really need to care? Is there a deeper reason why you want everything cleaned up? Is it because you're embarrassed that other people see your shit everywhere? Is it a pain to move around? Is it just one thing in a list of many you don't feel you can accomplish?

If you haven't done it yet, maybe it's just not important enough to do it, and maybe that's just how it should remain.

Being embarrassed by what other people see is one aspect of it, but for me it goes way deeper than that.

For instance.

The HUGE chinese hat that I took off the diningroom table ended up on the "breakfast table" in the sunroom. (i say "breakfast table", but truthfully I don't eat breakfast, and the table is rarely ever used, except for projects)

This table, up until the moment I decided to clear the diningroom table, housed my easel, paints, and a slew of brushes. It's not like I've painted anything in over a year, but I took it all out for my son to give it a try about a month ago. After about a half-hour's use, it's just sat there TAUNTING us ever since.

Now we both feel bad every time we look at it, because both of us know we should be using it.

It took 3 minutes to put away.

It'll now take 3 minutes to put it all back in place, because............


The large hat covers the entire surface, so I can't be messing it up with other stuff. Now, when I want to put the easel back up, I'll just have to remove the hat and the table will be ready to use. The only other thing on there is my styrofoam head (sporting my furry eared hat), which sits on the corner like a guard... staring you down as tho just DARING you to upset that order. That too had been on my diningroom table... along with loads of other hats. (getting downright honest here... it was a mess!)

Point is that usually we acquire things to make us feel GOOD. When they don't, just because they're in the way, maybe it's time to do something to give them the good edge again. Or maybe it's time just to pass it on.


...Like the kneeling alter that's taken the place of the head chair at my diningroom table. WTF's up with that????

[Drawingablank]

Clutter is my big headache as well - it don't bother me much but is the cause of much household disharmony. For me it takes specific forms though.

My worst is books - from any part of my house you can see masses of books. Piles of them, boxes of them, bookshelves overflowing with them. At one time they were all in one room, but when the rugrats came along I lost my library.

Second is art and crafting supplies. This is a big issue - looking around the living room I see sculpting tools, leather tools, paints, block printing stuff, art bin, drawing pads, and some sewing stuff. The dining room is overflowing with sewing and leather stuff (as is the newly created sewing room) and some partially completed fabric on wood artwork. My office, aside from being inundated by books and software has carving tools, leather tools, chocolate molds, soap molds, candle molds, oil painting supplies, wood turning chisels, and thats just what I can see from my chair.

This wouldn't be so bad, but I have a dedicated workshop in the basement - cluttered to the point where I can't work in it. And my woodworking shop in the garage is so jammed with stained glass that I can't work in there either.

Every time I attempt to clean / straighten / organize / give away, donate, or sell - I just think of the massive project it will be and give up after a few minutes.

I really like that 3 things a day idea though and will give that a try.

[Nipple]

I'm currently in the middle of a project. I've started with the room in the house farthest from my front door.

I'm moving through each room and making it Tabula Rasa. Complete do overs. Closets empty, everything out. Vacuum, shampoo the rugs, wipe down the baseboards. Nothing goes back in that room that doesn't belong in that room. I'm like Sherman marching to the sea, I've got two rooms done, and they're the most comfortable rooms in the house.

With each area that is completed, the next room over from it is filled with stuff that I need to get rid off.

I've spent my life being a curator. I'm done curating. I'm taking the tact that if I'm not using these items, I'm actively preventing someone else from using them. Further, stuff takes up mind space. It's an active distraction in my life, finding housing for stuff. It's a job. If I'm going to expend energy on stuff, I had better well fucking love it. If not... it's gone.

No what ifs, no maybes... It's either got a home or it is out the door.

[delle]

Nipple. Can you be my hero for the day??? That just rocks. (tho the thought of what's in "the room next door" is making my teeth chatter a little bit)

What's your technique for actual disposal?

DAB. I can soooooooooooooo relate to the books (and the rest, but we'll get to that in a moment). I have to ask (tho I know the answer).... WHY do you have to hold on to them all if you've already read them? Is it Fishy who maintains the "Catch and Release Books" tenet? It's a really good one.

Strangely enough books and tools (which includes materials) are the only things that I'd have to say I'm close to being a hoarder with. There's a much stronger emotional attachment to them, for the pleasure they bring (or Have Brought), and of course their necessity to the task at hand.

One of the things my Neat Police taught me was to properly assess needs. Our biggest space consumer is stereo components. Bobal likes to collect vintage turntables and amps and speakers, fix them up and then (not quite as often) redistribute them either thru sale, trade or gifting. He had a work area in the basement, but everything spilled out into the rest of the room, making it the most absolutely disagreeable room in the house. Once a nice living-room, it was now a completely disorganized mess.

Coach took one look at it and basically sat me down and told me that we had to stop treating this stereo obsession as the bastard child neither of us wanted to claim, and give it it's rightful place as pampered first-born with it's own digs. Some elements of furniture were replaced with deep sturdy shelving, things were rearranged a bit, and lo and behold, not only did he suddenly have ample room for his stuff, but a bigger (much more efficiently organized) work table.... and strangely, I had my living-room back. The components now sat neatly on the shelving instead of stacked on the floor, and frankly now lend a new kind of ambiance rather than just an ugly hindrance for getting around the room.

So I guess lesson for that day was: Re-priorize your needs and accommodate what's important (not necessarily what's CUSTOMARY)



And by the way:

Although I woke to find 3 things on the table, they have since been moved off. My fault for not having shared my mandate with the rest of the family.

Status of "Action Pact No. 1":
1. Unjumble the wires at the "charging station"; DONE
2. Liberate the surface of the egg-hatcher; DONER
3. Empty the area underneath the kitchen bar. DONEST

And I feel GREAT about it.

Actually washed the floor as well, and moved the altar out. And now I'm having a little celebratory drink. SALUT!!!

[Nipple]

Selling or Freecycling largely.

A lot of things that have a low enough value, but not enough to sell or take the time to sell, I put on my porch, post a picture of it on Craigslist's free section, and then delete the post when I notice the gnomes have made it vanish.

I'm pretty careful in the a to say "I'll not be checking my email, or answering any questions". Otherwise you get all kinds of people who want you to hold things, and sad stories, and... it's all too much. "Just, please make this old dining room table go away!"

I have some instruments that I need to get rid of, and some comic books. Those are going to be harder. Instruments have really wacky value... comics, I feel bad, but they either need to go freely or get recycled.

[delle]

Selling or Freecycling largely.

A lot of things that have a low enough value, but not enough to sell or take the time to sell, I put on my porch, post a picture of it on Craigslist's free section, and then delete the post when I notice the gnomes have made it vanish.

I'm pretty careful in the a to say "I'll not be checking my email, or answering any questions". Otherwise you get all kinds of people who want you to hold things, and sad stories, and... it's all too much. "Just, please make this old dining room table go away!"

I have some instruments that I need to get rid of, and some comic books. Those are going to be harder. Instruments have really wacky value... comics, I feel bad, but they either need to go freely or get recycled.

I really don't want people milling around my property here.... there's alot of Bobal's stuff which isn't exactly locked up.

Fortunately we have the Church Basement, and Value Village as well as La Ressourcerie who accept donations. We go to all of them frequently enough that we can easily get rid of alot of stuff in very little time.

Only problem is that we inevitably come back with OTHER stuff.... (like 4' hats and kneeling altars).

[Nipple]

hah! Yes...

I run that risk too, so I'm 86'd from Thrift Stores, Curio Shops, and any kind of Second Time Around.

[Elderberry]

That's perfect. Small, simple tasks that you can actually accomplish. There's just something about actually checking off all three items by the end of the day.

JKisha. LOVE the 3-item list. Now just to make sure that the items don't read something like

1. Clean the house
2. Clean the woodshed; and
3. Clean the shop.


So today my list is going to read:

1. Unjumble the wires at the "charging station";
2. Liberate the surface of the egg-hatcher; and
3. Empty the area underneath the kitchen bar.

The 3 are in the same zone, so it should make a huge difference in that area.

[Elderberry]

Status of "Action Pact No. 1":
1. Unjumble the wires at the "charging station"; DONE
2. Liberate the surface of the egg-hatcher; DONER
3. Empty the area underneath the kitchen bar. DONEST

And I feel GREAT about it.

Actually washed the floor as well, and moved the altar out. And now I'm having a little celebratory drink. SALUT!!!

Congratulations! Yup, there's just something about finishing the list...gratification on a job completed and motivation for tomorrow's list.

Three things...every day. That's the secret. And you've already discovered they don't have to be huge tasks. If you keep doing three things everyday, you'll soon find that all of those monster chores have been completed and your motivated every day to want to get to the new list. Oh, and no more than three, that's important too.

[Nipple]

I've been doing that a lot myself.

I get cowed into inaction by "The Swarm". If all my tasks were bees, they'd just be this giant cloud. I can't fight that! So I break it down to bite sized, tasks. Then start chipping away.

I do the same thing with work and task/email management. It's crazily enough, making me an effective person and employee.

[DanusLight]

Is it just me or is there a desire to visit DAB for a crafty art making adventure?

Clutter is my big headache as well - it don't bother me much but is the cause of much household disharmony. For me it takes specific forms though.

My worst is books - from any part of my house you can see masses of books. Piles of them, boxes of them, bookshelves overflowing with them. At one time they were all in one room, but when the rugrats came along I lost my library.

Second is art and crafting supplies. This is a big issue - looking around the living room I see sculpting tools, leather tools, paints, block printing stuff, art bin, drawing pads, and some sewing stuff. The dining room is overflowing with sewing and leather stuff (as is the newly created sewing room) and some partially completed fabric on wood artwork. My office, aside from being inundated by books and software has carving tools, leather tools, chocolate molds, soap molds, candle molds, oil painting supplies, wood turning chisels, and thats just what I can see from my chair.

This wouldn't be so bad, but I have a dedicated workshop in the basement - cluttered to the point where I can't work in it. And my woodworking shop in the garage is so jammed with stained glass that I can't work in there either.

Every time I attempt to clean / straighten / organize / give away, donate, or sell - I just think of the massive project it will be and give up after a few minutes.

I really like that 3 things a day idea though and will give that a try.

[Patsh]

Although by no means a hoarder, I AM a packrat. Not dirty, but frequently messy. Besides being extremely frustrating, this disorder makes my soul weep. Still, I rarely have the motivation to get any further than just pushing piles around, and have only rarely found myself in that blissful state of Organization.

Delle, I'm afraid we're stuck with that... It runs in the family, and unfortunately didn't run right past either of us!

I've found 2 things that help me out when I "feel like" clearing up some space:

1: Look around, and notice what is the worst eyesore in the room. Deal with it. Then when you look around again, the next worst eyesore in the room is not quite as bad as what you just dealt with, and can be next on the list... for next time, and after a few times of doing that, the room's not really so bad...

2: Find spots around the house to accommodate things by shape. For example, if I'm looking for a big piece of card paper for a poster, or for a matte for some artwork, or for a huge envelope, or anything big and flat, they're all in the same shaped place! Another for long dowels, curtain rods, broom handles, long pieces of copper tubing & copper wire, all things of that shape and size are together.

These help somewhat, though (Delle) you've seen my house at its worst!!

[gaminwench]

delle...
Can that 4' chinese hat do double duty as a lampshade, or hang in a corner from the ceiling???
You seem to be moving it around a lot... perhaps if it had a 'permanent' home, out of the way...