your stupid joke here
Re: your stupid joke here
I learned today that cloaca=vaganus!
"Don't buy ur Burn...........Build ur Burn!"
"If I can't find an answer, I'll create one!!!"
Fuck Im Good Just Ask Me
"If I can't find an answer, I'll create one!!!"
Fuck Im Good Just Ask Me
Re: your stupid joke here
More a riddle than a joke:
What is brown and rhymes with Snoop?
Dr. Dre
What is brown and rhymes with Snoop?
Dr. Dre
"Enjoy every sandwich" - W. Zevon
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maryanimal
- Posts: 4045
- Joined: Wed Jul 28, 2010 9:41 am
- Burning Since: 2011
Re: your stupid joke here
What do you call one stalk of corn???
Corn maze for a blonde.
What is the most confusing day of the year??
Fathers day in the hood!
Corn maze for a blonde.
What is the most confusing day of the year??
Fathers day in the hood!
Sometimes I'm confused by what I think is really obvious. But what I think is really obvious obviously isn't obvious.
Re: your stupid joke here
So a three legged dog walks into a bar and says, "I'm looking for the man who shot my paw."
(currently Zeke Chaparral)
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Elderberry
- Moderator
- Posts: 14976
- Joined: Tue Jul 17, 2007 10:00 pm
- Burning Since: 2007
- Camp Name: Camp Kelly
- Location: Palm Springs
- Contact:
Riddles
Q. What is the difference between a Drug Dealer and a Hooker?
A. A Hooker can wash her crack and sell it again.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Q. What's a mixed feeling?
A. When you see your Mother-In-Law backing off a cliff in your new car.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Q.. What's the height of conceit?
A. Having an orgasm and calling out your own name.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Q. What's the definition of 'Macho'?
A. Jogging home from your vasectomy.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Q. What's the difference between a G-Spot and a golf ball?
A. A guy will actually search for a golf ball
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Q. Do you know how New Zealanders practice safe sex?
A. They spray paint X's on the back of the sheep that kick!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Q. Why is divorce so expensive?
A. Because it's worth it!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Q. What is a Yankee?
A. The same as a quickie, but a Guy can do it alone.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Q. What do Tupperware and a Walrus have in common?
A. They both like a tight seal.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Q. What do a Christmas tree and a Priest have in common?
A. Their balls are just for decoration.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Q. What is the difference between 'ooooooh' and 'aaaaaaah'?
A. About three inches.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Q: What's the difference between purple and pink?
A. The grip.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Q. How do you find a Blind Man in a nudist colony?
A. It's not hard.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Q: What's the difference between a Girlfriend and a Wife?
A: 45 pounds.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Q: What's the difference between a Boyfriend and a Husband?
A: 45 minutes.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Q: Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact?
A: Breasts don't have eyes.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Q: What is the difference between medium and rare?
A: Six inches is medium, eight inches is rare.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Q. Why do women rub their eyes when they get up in the morning?
A . They don't have balls to scratch!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A. A Hooker can wash her crack and sell it again.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Q. What's a mixed feeling?
A. When you see your Mother-In-Law backing off a cliff in your new car.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Q.. What's the height of conceit?
A. Having an orgasm and calling out your own name.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Q. What's the definition of 'Macho'?
A. Jogging home from your vasectomy.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Q. What's the difference between a G-Spot and a golf ball?
A. A guy will actually search for a golf ball
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Q. Do you know how New Zealanders practice safe sex?
A. They spray paint X's on the back of the sheep that kick!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Q. Why is divorce so expensive?
A. Because it's worth it!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Q. What is a Yankee?
A. The same as a quickie, but a Guy can do it alone.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Q. What do Tupperware and a Walrus have in common?
A. They both like a tight seal.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Q. What do a Christmas tree and a Priest have in common?
A. Their balls are just for decoration.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Q. What is the difference between 'ooooooh' and 'aaaaaaah'?
A. About three inches.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Q: What's the difference between purple and pink?
A. The grip.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Q. How do you find a Blind Man in a nudist colony?
A. It's not hard.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Q: What's the difference between a Girlfriend and a Wife?
A: 45 pounds.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Q: What's the difference between a Boyfriend and a Husband?
A: 45 minutes.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Q: Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact?
A: Breasts don't have eyes.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Q: What is the difference between medium and rare?
A: Six inches is medium, eight inches is rare.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Q. Why do women rub their eyes when they get up in the morning?
A . They don't have balls to scratch!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Elderberry
When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bicycle.
Then I realized that the Lord doesn't work that way so I stole one and asked Him to forgive me
When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bicycle.
Then I realized that the Lord doesn't work that way so I stole one and asked Him to forgive me
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maryanimal
- Posts: 4045
- Joined: Wed Jul 28, 2010 9:41 am
- Burning Since: 2011
Re: your stupid joke here
I laughed so hard JK I peed a little!
Sometimes I'm confused by what I think is really obvious. But what I think is really obvious obviously isn't obvious.
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maryanimal
- Posts: 4045
- Joined: Wed Jul 28, 2010 9:41 am
- Burning Since: 2011
Re: your stupid joke here
I heard that the flasher was going to retire, but he said he'd stick it out one more year. 
Sometimes I'm confused by what I think is really obvious. But what I think is really obvious obviously isn't obvious.
Re: your stupid joke here
Where does the President keep his Armies?
In his sleavies.
In his sleavies.
"Lemonade is a lie!"
Lederhosen Macht Frei! (Lederhosen Liberates!)
Ich Bin Über Alles, und du bist der scheiße!!!
Lederhosen Macht Frei! (Lederhosen Liberates!)
Ich Bin Über Alles, und du bist der scheiße!!!
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can't sit still
- Posts: 4645
- Joined: Tue Aug 23, 2005 4:21 pm
- Location: SoCal
Re: your stupid joke here
Four guys have been going to the same deer camp for many years. Two days before the group is to leave, Ron's wife puts her foot down and tells him he isn't going.
Ron's friends are very upset that he can't go, but what can they do.
Two days later the three get to the camping site only to find Ron sitting there with a tent set up, firewood gathered, and dinner cooking on the fire.
"Damn man, how long you been here, and how did you talk your wife into letting you go?"
"Well, I've been here since yesterday. Yesterday evening, I was sitting in my chair and my wife came up behind me and put her hands over my eyes and said, 'Guess who?'" I pulled her hands off, and she was wearing a brand new nightie. She took my hand and pulled me to our bedroom. The room had candles and rose petals all over. On the bed she had handcuffs, and ropes! She told me to tie and cuff her to the bed, and I did.
And then she said, "Do whatever you want."
"So, here I am."
Ron's friends are very upset that he can't go, but what can they do.
Two days later the three get to the camping site only to find Ron sitting there with a tent set up, firewood gathered, and dinner cooking on the fire.
"Damn man, how long you been here, and how did you talk your wife into letting you go?"
"Well, I've been here since yesterday. Yesterday evening, I was sitting in my chair and my wife came up behind me and put her hands over my eyes and said, 'Guess who?'" I pulled her hands off, and she was wearing a brand new nightie. She took my hand and pulled me to our bedroom. The room had candles and rose petals all over. On the bed she had handcuffs, and ropes! She told me to tie and cuff her to the bed, and I did.
And then she said, "Do whatever you want."
"So, here I am."
I don't post things because I believe that they are the absolute truth. I post them because I believe that they should be considered.
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Drawingablank
- Posts: 2595
- Joined: Thu Mar 31, 2011 8:46 pm
- Camp Name: Barbie Death Camp
- Location: NY
- Contact:
Re: your stupid joke here
+1000 have to remember that one for hunting camp this year.can't sit still wrote:Four guys have been going to the same deer camp for many years. Two days before the group is to leave, Ron's wife puts her foot down and tells him he isn't going.
Ron's friends are very upset that he can't go, but what can they do.
Two days later the three get to the camping site only to find Ron sitting there with a tent set up, firewood gathered, and dinner cooking on the fire.
"Damn man, how long you been here, and how did you talk your wife into letting you go?"
"Well, I've been here since yesterday. Yesterday evening, I was sitting in my chair and my wife came up behind me and put her hands over my eyes and said, 'Guess who?'" I pulled her hands off, and she was wearing a brand new nightie. She took my hand and pulled me to our bedroom. The room had candles and rose petals all over. On the bed she had handcuffs, and ropes! She told me to tie and cuff her to the bed, and I did.
And then she said, "Do whatever you want."
"So, here I am."
Savannah: I don't know what it is, but no thread here escapes alive. You'll get 1 or 2 real answers at minimum, occasionally 10 or 12, and then we flog it until it's unrecognizable and you can't get your deposit back.
Yet Another Crappy Birgin Guide
Yet Another Crappy Birgin Guide
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theCryptofishist
- Posts: 40312
- Joined: Mon Feb 23, 2004 9:28 am
- Burning Since: 2017
- Location: In Exile
Re: your stupid joke here
...This baby seal walks into a bar and the bartender says,"What'll ya have..." The seal says, "Anything but a Canadian Club...
The Lady with a Lamprey
"The powerful are exploiting people, art and ideas, and this leads to us plebes debating how to best ration ice.
Man, no wonder they always win....." Lonesomebri
"The powerful are exploiting people, art and ideas, and this leads to us plebes debating how to best ration ice.
Man, no wonder they always win....." Lonesomebri
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Dr. Pyro
- Posts: 4808
- Joined: Tue Sep 02, 2003 8:11 am
- Burning Since: 1999
- Camp Name: Barbie Death Camp & Wine Bistro
- Location: Meadow Vista, CA
- Contact:
Re: your stupid joke here
I always thought (the zinger more succinct version) simply goes: A baby harp seal walks into a club.
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theCryptofishist
- Posts: 40312
- Joined: Mon Feb 23, 2004 9:28 am
- Burning Since: 2017
- Location: In Exile
Re: your stupid joke here
Yeah they had that one on the page I stole this one from, but somehow this was funnier to me than the other has ever been. I think that its playing on the idea of a "bar" is what does it for me.
The Lady with a Lamprey
"The powerful are exploiting people, art and ideas, and this leads to us plebes debating how to best ration ice.
Man, no wonder they always win....." Lonesomebri
"The powerful are exploiting people, art and ideas, and this leads to us plebes debating how to best ration ice.
Man, no wonder they always win....." Lonesomebri
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theCryptofishist
- Posts: 40312
- Joined: Mon Feb 23, 2004 9:28 am
- Burning Since: 2017
- Location: In Exile
Re: your stupid joke here
They are starting a new line of eyeglasses, perfectly round, and very up-to-date.
They are going to be called
Ocu-Pi.
They are going to be called
Ocu-Pi.
The Lady with a Lamprey
"The powerful are exploiting people, art and ideas, and this leads to us plebes debating how to best ration ice.
Man, no wonder they always win....." Lonesomebri
"The powerful are exploiting people, art and ideas, and this leads to us plebes debating how to best ration ice.
Man, no wonder they always win....." Lonesomebri
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unjonharley
- Posts: 10434
- Joined: Tue Sep 09, 2003 11:05 am
- Burning Since: 2001
- Camp Name: Elliot's naked bycycel repair
- Location: Salem Or.
Re: your stupid joke here
That is pure CORNtheCryptofishist wrote:They are starting a new line of eyeglasses, perfectly round, and very up-to-date.
They are going to be called
Ocu-Pi.
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MyDearFriend
- Posts: 3760
- Joined: Sat Nov 06, 2010 5:22 am
- Burning Since: 2011
- Camp Name: Barbie Death Camp THIRTEENTH BARBIE
- Location: Washington, DC
Re: your stupid joke here
A guy was walking down the street when he sees a woman with perfect breasts. He says to her, "Hey, miss, would you let me bite your breasts for $100?" "Are you nuts?" she replies and walks away.
He turns around, runs around the block and gets to the corner before she does. "Would you let me bite your breasts for $1,000?" he asks again. "Listen, sir, I'm not that kind of woman. Got it?"
So the ...guy runs around the next block and faces her again. "Would you let me bite your breasts... just once for $10,000?" So the woman thinks about this for a while and says, "Hmmmmm, $10,000?" She thinks a bit "OK, but just once, and not here. Let's go to that dark alley over there."
So they go to the alley and she takes off... her blouse to reveal the most perfect breasts in the world. As soon as the guy sees them, he jumps on them and starts caressing them, fondling them, kissing them, burying his face in them... but not biting them. Finally, the woman gets all annoyed and says, "Are you gonna bite them or what?" "Nah," he replies. "Costs too much!"
He turns around, runs around the block and gets to the corner before she does. "Would you let me bite your breasts for $1,000?" he asks again. "Listen, sir, I'm not that kind of woman. Got it?"
So the ...guy runs around the next block and faces her again. "Would you let me bite your breasts... just once for $10,000?" So the woman thinks about this for a while and says, "Hmmmmm, $10,000?" She thinks a bit "OK, but just once, and not here. Let's go to that dark alley over there."
So they go to the alley and she takes off... her blouse to reveal the most perfect breasts in the world. As soon as the guy sees them, he jumps on them and starts caressing them, fondling them, kissing them, burying his face in them... but not biting them. Finally, the woman gets all annoyed and says, "Are you gonna bite them or what?" "Nah," he replies. "Costs too much!"
I was Born OK the 1st Time....
Don't bring defaultia to Burning Man, take Burning Man to defaultia...... graidawg
Don't bring defaultia to Burning Man, take Burning Man to defaultia...... graidawg
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theCryptofishist
- Posts: 40312
- Joined: Mon Feb 23, 2004 9:28 am
- Burning Since: 2017
- Location: In Exile
Re: your stupid joke here
Did you hear that the Korean strongman and tyrant died?
Died? I didn't know he was il!
Died? I didn't know he was il!
The Lady with a Lamprey
"The powerful are exploiting people, art and ideas, and this leads to us plebes debating how to best ration ice.
Man, no wonder they always win....." Lonesomebri
"The powerful are exploiting people, art and ideas, and this leads to us plebes debating how to best ration ice.
Man, no wonder they always win....." Lonesomebri
Re: your stupid joke here
A guy comes home from work to find his wife happy and singing and says "What are you so happy about?"
She says "I went to the doctor for an exam today and she said I had the breasts of a 20 year old."
Guy says "What did she say about your 45 year old ass? snort"
She says "Your name never came up!"
She says "I went to the doctor for an exam today and she said I had the breasts of a 20 year old."
Guy says "What did she say about your 45 year old ass? snort"
She says "Your name never came up!"
"Don't buy ur Burn...........Build ur Burn!"
"If I can't find an answer, I'll create one!!!"
Fuck Im Good Just Ask Me
"If I can't find an answer, I'll create one!!!"
Fuck Im Good Just Ask Me
Re: your stupid joke here
What do you call a priest in a nuns habit?
Transister!!!
Transister!!!
"Don't buy ur Burn...........Build ur Burn!"
"If I can't find an answer, I'll create one!!!"
Fuck Im Good Just Ask Me
"If I can't find an answer, I'll create one!!!"
Fuck Im Good Just Ask Me
Re: your stupid joke here
He: Darling, you are so beautiful, sweet and I love you much.
She: You want to have sex, don't you?!
He: ...and also smart you are...
She: You want to have sex, don't you?!
He: ...and also smart you are...
_______________________________________________________________________________
We please those who say it is impossible not to hinder those who are already doing it.
We please those who say it is impossible not to hinder those who are already doing it.
Re: your stupid joke here
How many hippies does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
...wait, what?
...wait, what?
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Dr. Pyro
- Posts: 4808
- Joined: Tue Sep 02, 2003 8:11 am
- Burning Since: 1999
- Camp Name: Barbie Death Camp & Wine Bistro
- Location: Meadow Vista, CA
- Contact:
Re: your stupid joke here
How many Viet Nam vets does it take to screw in a light bulb?
You wouldn't know man, you weren't there!
You wouldn't know man, you weren't there!
Re: your stupid joke here
If coconut oil is made from coconuts,
and corn oil is made from corn,
what is baby oil made from?
and corn oil is made from corn,
what is baby oil made from?
The camp with a difference
Never mind the weather
When you camp with Plug & Ply
Your holiday's forever
Never mind the weather
When you camp with Plug & Ply
Your holiday's forever
Re: your stupid joke here
Typically, it is a liquid by-product of the distillation of petroleum.Zeke Chaparral wrote:If coconut oil is made from coconuts,
and corn oil is made from corn,
what is baby oil made from?
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ygmir
- Posts: 30403
- Joined: Thu Sep 20, 2007 8:36 pm
- Burning Since: 2007
- Camp Name: qqqq
- Location: nevada county
Re: your stupid joke here
don't ask about fish oil.......Zeke Chaparral wrote:If coconut oil is made from coconuts,
and corn oil is made from corn,
what is baby oil made from?
YGMIR
Unabashed Nordic
Pagan
Unabashed Nordic
Pagan
Re: your stupid joke here
It must have been this one of the three that gave that response.5280MeV wrote:Typically, it is a liquid by-product of the distillation of petroleum.Zeke Chaparral wrote:If coconut oil is made from coconuts,
and corn oil is made from corn,
what is baby oil made from?
The camp with a difference
Never mind the weather
When you camp with Plug & Ply
Your holiday's forever
Never mind the weather
When you camp with Plug & Ply
Your holiday's forever
Re: your stupid joke here
Two flies land on a big turd.
One lifts his leg and lets out a big "pfffffffft."
The other one says, "Come on man, I'm trying to eat."
One lifts his leg and lets out a big "pfffffffft."
The other one says, "Come on man, I'm trying to eat."
The camp with a difference
Never mind the weather
When you camp with Plug & Ply
Your holiday's forever
Never mind the weather
When you camp with Plug & Ply
Your holiday's forever
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Box Burner
- Posts: 5803
- Joined: Mon May 01, 2006 2:33 am
- Location: Kentucky
Re: your stupid joke here
a kid fell in the mud.
Dance in the heart of chaos. . . . .
ὁ δὲ ἀνεξέταστος βίος οὐ βιωτὸς ἀνθρώπῳ
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - --- Σωκράτης
.
ὁ δὲ ἀνεξέταστος βίος οὐ βιωτὸς ἀνθρώπῳ
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - --- Σωκράτης
.
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theCryptofishist
- Posts: 40312
- Joined: Mon Feb 23, 2004 9:28 am
- Burning Since: 2017
- Location: In Exile
Re: your stupid joke here
Now I know what my second nightmare will be about.ygmir wrote:don't ask about fish oil.......Zeke Chaparral wrote:If coconut oil is made from coconuts,
and corn oil is made from corn,
what is baby oil made from?
The Lady with a Lamprey
"The powerful are exploiting people, art and ideas, and this leads to us plebes debating how to best ration ice.
Man, no wonder they always win....." Lonesomebri
"The powerful are exploiting people, art and ideas, and this leads to us plebes debating how to best ration ice.
Man, no wonder they always win....." Lonesomebri