Best Line Today

[theCryptofishist]

It's been mostly Simon and Bob lately, and it's not quite so...whatever...

[Sham]

In a McDonald's buying an sweet tea, the restaurant ran out of pennies and the manager had to intervene today. I was shorted a penny in my change and the manager told the register clerk that "unless people have the exact change, we can't serve them". Talk about stupid fucking people not being able to think of an easy solution to that problem.

[maryanimal]

In a McDonald's buying an sweet tea, the restaurant ran out of pennies and the manager had to intervene today. I was shorted a penny in my change and the manager told the register clerk that "unless people have the exact change, we can't serve them". Talk about stupid fucking people not being able to think of an easy solution to that problem.

That's because he has what is called McButthead Syndrome. It affects the frontal lobe of the brain.

[Patsh]

This wasn't today, but a few years ago...
it deserves mention in this most appropriate thread:

I'm on the phone to book a plane ticket from Phoenix to Montreal and back.
I tell her that.
"Fine... can you tell me where Montreal is?"
"Yes, it's in Quebec, Canada."
"What state is that in?"
"Um... it's not in the States, it's in Canada."
"Yes, well, I need you to tell me the state it's in!"
"Canada is the big country north of the United States, and Montreal is in the east of that country."
"Well, I still need to know what state.... oh, nevermind, I found it!"

And this person has a real job, selling plane tickets to real people!

[Dr. Pyro]

You can't realistically expect someone from Calcutta to know North American geography all that well.

[shykat]

In the car with my buddy and his current girl friend:

Girlfriend to my buddy: Wanna see the guy i lost my virginity too?

[Bob]

She keeps a wallet photo of her high school volleyball coach?

[ygmir]

She keeps a wallet photo of her high school volleyball coach?

seems only fair, if he keeps one of his priest.

[Bob]

"He"?

[ygmir]

rhetorical..............

[Sham]

Using a gold dollar coin to pay a purchase at Walmart. Cashier yells over to the manager at the podium, "do we take these things?".

[gyre]

"Guns? I hate guns!"

"How can a guy from Kashmir hate guns?

Your people live in caves and throw rocks at tanks."


- Shameless

[FIGJAM]

They tried throwing guns, but it was it got to expencive.

[Elliot]

You can't realistically expect someone from Calcutta to know North American geography all that well.

Or a prison inmate.

[Rice]

Canada? What state is that in???

[theCryptofishist]

You can't realistically expect someone from Calcutta to know North American geography all that well.

Or a prison inmate.

I don't know how well people from Kolkata know prison inmates, but I bet that not only do many of them know the States better than we know the subcontinent, a not negligible number know the North American geography better than we do.

[Patsh]

Fishy... here it is, in all its glory:

the world.jpg

[Sham]

A panhandler is the city tonight used the best line ever: "I don't have any more stories, I'm just looking for money".
I gave him a buck!

[gyre]

"Unless you fall into the orchestra pit and end the play, the audience thinks it's all part of the show."


- Kevin Spacey


He also did a few lines of Jar Jar Binks doing Shakespeare, which I found quite remarkable.

[gyre]

" I AM NOT A CUTE CHIPMUNK! "


- a response from a girl on a racing forum

The subject drifted from oversteer to overbite, can't tell you how.
This may not translate as funny here, but it was.

[FIGJAM]

"It's no skin off my teeth."

[unjonharley]

\
\
\I tripped and fell into a life boat and couldn't get out..

[Elliot]

"Get back on the ship, you prick!"

I read on a European web site that the Italian Coast Guard officer who said this over an open radio channel is now a national hero there. Italians are wearing T-shirts with that line printed on.

[theCryptofishist]

Hm. Any eplayans living in Italy, you have one hell of a gifting opportunity this year.

[Nipple]

"Get back on the ship, you prick!"

Whenever life gets me down and I feel defeated, I am going to mutter this mantra to myself.

[unjonharley]

Coast Guard: Get back on the ship, you prick

Captain: But it's dark, and I'm afraid..

Quote NY paper head line.. Chicken of the Sea

[gyre]

"Get back on board, for fuck's sake!"

[MisaBlue]

"I heard that if you die at Burning Man, you die in real life too"

[delle]

A panhandler is the city tonight used the best line ever: "I don't have any more stories, I'm just looking for money".
I gave him a buck!

Reminds me of the time I passed a woman panhandling with her baby. When she asked for "spare change" I handed over a couple of diapers from my daughter's stroller.

[knowmad]

the ticket line is over there...