'Pataphysical Implications of Ticket Hoarding

[5280MeV]

Hoarding tickets is an implicit expression of self-importance. By temporarily assigning extra tickets to oneself, no matter for how short a period, one displaces other people, who presumably have less need to make it to the playa. This is like the cowbird, who lays its eggs in the nests of other bird species, in one case a charming nest constructed by two northern parulas named Tweep and Zeeeee-Yip. Tweep had been in love with Zeeeee-Yip since the fall, but did not have the confidence to let his feelings be known until molting and acquiring his spring plumage. For a parula such as Tweep, it made sense to wait until the right time, but often there is no right time to make ones feelings known, or if one waits too long, the chance will pass them by. Waiting to express ones feelings is like saving a pear for the time when one will most enjoy it. As the pear sits in the wooden bowl, it will continue to ripen and then become overly soft, and not as tasty as it once could have been, most likely on Wednesday afternoon, when a slow drizzle pelted the ground outside, and it just didn't seem like a good afternoon for a pear, even though the pear had reached its peak. It is a missed opportunity to savor the peach, as the ending rain and the birds coming out to feed in the first rays of sun are like a symphony of nature.

Discuss.

[Nipple]

I don't care if you're drunk posting or not.

I want to have your baby.

[theCryptofishist]

Yet another evil spawn for Satan's Playa Army is born....

[wh..sh]

I want to have your baby.

Atleast you aren't savoring the peach.

[MisaBlue]

I want to have your baby.

Ditto

[gyre]

It's just a new way to scalp tickets.

Order twice as many, and resell the higher tiers, presuming you get any.

[The CO]

Prithee, how can one hoard tickets when they have not all been released?

[lemur]

they are hoarding ticket requests.

[5280MeV]

Prithee, how can one hoard tickets when they have not all been released?

This is a salient question, perhaps the most important question. You are right, there are no tickets, no tickets to hoard, no one is hoarding anything manifest, but only the promise of a thing to come. It is just an additional request.

Therefore, one must first answer how important is this additional request in the scheme of things.

In order to understand the request for a ticket, we must look at its ramifications. This request effects other things. Without actually enumerating these ramifications, we can already determine them to be incomplete. The reason is that these ramifications themselves have further ramifications. To avoid confusion, call the ramifications of the ramifications "ramifications[2]" and the initial consequences of the request "ramifications[1]". So the request, along with ramifications[1] and ramifications[2], is still not complete. We must consider the consequences of ramifications[2], which we call ramifications[3]. We can continue the discussion in this manner, but are plagued by the knowledge that even once we reach something like ramifications[1384], there is still the consequences of these to be considered.

Thus, we must seek closure. One may then conceive of a set that contains not only the event of the ticket request, but all ramifications from 1 on up, so that if we choose ramifications[n], we can be assured that ramifications[n+1] is also in the set. This closure under the logical operation of considering further consequences, this complete set of all possible consequences of the request, we denote the "Omega Lottery".

Now, given the empirically accepted laws of General Relativity and Quantum Field Theory, we know that all matter or energy in the universe influences all other matter in causal contact. Therefore all future events are part of the Omega Lottery. Given the time reversibility of these physical equations, we may also consider past events as consequences of the future, and so make the full statement that all events, from the beginning of time to the end, are part and parcel of the Omega Lottery.

Frankly, aside from the Omega Lottery - the full consequences of ticket strategy - there is simply nothing at all to discuss.

The ticket request is like a grain of mustard seed - a very tiny seed. But when it grows, it becomes one of the largest herbs of all, just as the consequences of ticket requests grow to encapsulate all of reality. This seed is also commonly used in Indian cuisine, where it is thrown into hot ghee and pops - releasing a nutty aroma.

Consider an Indian cook, for the sake of argument call him Rajiv, who employs such seeds in his cooking. We can imagine Rajiv, on a particularly smoggy day, throwing the seeds into the ghee, and as the nutty aroma reaches his senses, he feels a sense of simple joy. Lost in the moment, Rajiv exclaims a beautiful prayer of thanksgiving. The poetic beauty of this prayer is like the song of the northern parula, much like, in fact, the song that Zeeee-Yip sung to Tweep in order to woo her into mating.

[wh..sh]

The ticket request is like a grain of mustard seed - a very tiny seed. But when it grows, it becomes one of the largest herbs of all, just as the consequences of ticket requests grow to encapsulate all of reality. This seed is also commonly used in Indian cuisine, where it is thrown into hot ghee and pops - releasing a nutty aroma.

Consider an Indian cook, for the sake of argument call him Rajiv, who employs such seeds in his cooking. We can imagine Rajiv, on a particularly smoggy day, throwing the seeds into the ghee, and as the nutty aroma reaches his senses, he feels a sense of simple joy. Lost in the moment, Rajiv exclaims a beautiful prayer of thanksgiving. The poetic beauty of this prayer is like the song of the northern parula, much like, in fact, the song that Zeeee-Yip sung to Tweep in order to woo her into mating.

ALLE-LU-YA!! Finally, there is someone to appreciate the nutty taste of mustard splattering in ghee yummmm...
Everytime the mustard splatters in my home, I reach heaven and offer my prayers **insert sanskrit slogams**

[MisaBlue]

Prithee, how can one hoard tickets when they have not all been released?

This is a salient question, perhaps the most important question. You are right, there are no tickets, no tickets to hoard, no one is hoarding anything manifest, but only the promise of a thing to come. It is just an additional request.