What still needs inventing?

Elliot · Post by **Elliot** » Sat Mar 10, 2012 4:20 pm

A century or so ago there was talk of shutting down the Patent Office because pretty much everything had already been invented. Telephone, aeroplane.... There couldn't be much left to invent.

I want a magnet that picks up broken glass.

catinthefunnyhat · Post by **catinthefunnyhat** » Sat Mar 10, 2012 4:38 pm

A computer program that blocks your internet access until you've written x words, where x is a number of the user's choosing, on a document of the user's choosing. When x words have been written, internet access will be granted for y minutes, where -- again -- y is a number chosen by the user.

So for me: My computer would lock out my internet access until I'd written 1000 words on my dissertation. Then I would get 10 minutes of internet access, during which I could be as productive (accessing documents I need for my research) or unproductive (visiting eplaya, watching cute animal/robot vide, reading pop-culture snark and/or serious political discussion (not much difference, really)) as I desire. After those 10 minutes, regardless of how I spent them, I'd be required to write another 1000 words.

Seriously: If this had been invented when I started said dissertation, I'd have been able to truthfully say "trust me, I'm a doctor*" for several years now. Instead, the best I can muster is "trust me, I haven't been kicked out of grad school yet**."

*not that kind of doctor, sadly. My discipline (ha!) is in the humanities.
**only because my committee members are infinitely patient. I would have kicked me out a while back.

moonrise · Post by **moonrise** » Sat Mar 10, 2012 5:07 pm

I know the list for artificial body parts, organs etc could go on forever. I'd like to see the invention of artificial discs for the human spine that actually work.

Or a time travel machine so I could travel back in time and avoid my back breaking accident!!

I agree a glass magnet would be great.

We discovered Radio waves. I wonder if some of our past discoveries were as profound and have they been lost? I read the Etruscans were highly intelligent, yet they were killed by the Romans who later regretted killing them. The Etruscans left no written records. Well at least they planted the grape vines in Europe.

theCryptofishist · Post by **theCryptofishist** » Sat Mar 10, 2012 6:37 pm

Windshield wipers for my eyes, to wipe up my tears...

And something that pulls the snot out of your nose so you don't have to keep blowing it...

Bionic ankles. And knees. (I know, they are working on it, and while they do, can they come up with a better socket?)

I'm so cynical. When something new does get on the market, I assume it's a piece of junk designed to get my money...

lucky420 · Post by **lucky420** » Mon Mar 12, 2012 4:12 pm

I want to know where the goddamn fountain of youth is...seriously!

Yes I know that it would be a discovery and not invention, but could someone help me out here.

Stephendragonfly · Post by **Stephendragonfly** » Mon Mar 12, 2012 4:21 pm

If somebody invented a drug that would cease or even reverse the aging process, that would be an invented Fountain Of Youth.
Personally I want to be able to download my consciousness into a computer and thence to the internet, and later into an android.

Clockwork_Wizard · Post by **Clockwork_Wizard** » Mon Mar 12, 2012 4:22 pm

catinthefunnyhat wrote:A computer program that blocks your internet access until you've written x words, where x is a number of the user's choosing, on a document of the user's choosing. When x words have been written, internet access will be granted for y minutes, where -- again -- y is a number chosen by the user.

They have this. A few of my friends who are professional writers use this daily to keep them from checking email and cruising the internet when they should be pounding out crappy t.v. scripts. I'll see if I can chase down the name of the software and post it for you

moonrise · Post by **moonrise** » Mon Mar 12, 2012 4:22 pm

lucky420 wrote:I want to know where the goddamn fountain of youth is...seriously!

Yes I know that it would be a discovery and not invention, but could someone help me out here.

Time machine would be helpful, no? Use it every other day...Dorian. nevermind

wh..sh · Post by **wh..sh** » Mon Mar 12, 2012 4:34 pm

No question... I NEED teleportation invented ASAP.

moonrise · Post by **moonrise** » Mon Mar 12, 2012 4:39 pm

Where would you go wh..sh? and can I come along?

theCryptofishist · Post by **theCryptofishist** » Mon Mar 12, 2012 4:49 pm

If my father is right, and he works with medical researchers, they may manage immortality soon.
I hope it's after I die...

wh..sh · Post by **wh..sh** » Mon Mar 12, 2012 4:52 pm

moonrise wrote:Where would you go wh..sh? and can I come along?

Imagine all the possibilities and places one could go!

First stop would be Machu Picchu. Of course moon, you can come along. And we will see what we can do about that truck of yours.
If we hurry, we could be over in India for mom's dinner.

gyre · Post by **gyre** » Mon Mar 12, 2012 5:11 pm

wh..sh wrote:No question... I NEED teleportation invented ASAP.

Weren't they using teleportation in the ramayana?

Besides, how do you think they deliver chinese food in nyc?
They get there before you are off the phone.
Have you noticed they are never wet when it's raining?

moonrise · Post by **moonrise** » Mon Mar 12, 2012 5:11 pm

Oh Fishy, surely you jest!

wh..sh, yeah someday the truck will give out, I can see some damage occuring from slamming into that invisble wall over and over

I bet mom brews the best tea in all of India! I cannot wait, nor can my beater truck...

Post by **AntiM** » Mon Mar 12, 2012 5:21 pm

I'd have to go with artificial hands/knuckles. MyLarry is depositing iron into his joints, and it isn't ever going to go away.

ygmir · Post by **ygmir** » Mon Mar 12, 2012 5:35 pm

wh..sh wrote:
moonrise wrote:Where would you go wh..sh? and can I come along?
Imagine all the possibilities and places one could go!
First stop would be Machu Picchu. Of course moon, you can come along. And we will see what we can do about that truck of yours.
If we hurry, we could be over in India for mom's dinner.

*timidly sits in back of class, looking hopeful*

theCryptofishist · Post by **theCryptofishist** » Mon Mar 12, 2012 7:16 pm

AntiM wrote:I'd have to go with artificial hands/knuckles. MyLarry is depositing iron into his joints, and it isn't ever going to go away.

If they do that, they can do feet, so, okay.

wh..sh · Post by **wh..sh** » Mon Mar 12, 2012 8:11 pm

@gyre - Between Ramanyan, Mahabharat and other scriptures we have lot of potential inventions.
But I am thinking Chinese are ahead of us here.

@Moon - Best tea will be served!

@ygmir - Are you made of matter?

Bin Noddin · Post by **Bin Noddin** » Mon Mar 12, 2012 8:22 pm

Matter that matters.

How did Hanuman cross the sea to Ravana's island? A "leap of faith", wasn't it?

theCryptofishist · Post by **theCryptofishist** » Mon Mar 12, 2012 8:23 pm

The computer keyboard could use improvement. A space bar by the number keypad...

oneeyeddick · Post by **oneeyeddick** » Mon Mar 12, 2012 8:26 pm

What still needs inventing?

Something that cleans my ass for me and doesn't leave it as wet as this goddamned bidet, that's what.

ygmir · Post by **ygmir** » Mon Mar 12, 2012 8:28 pm

oneeyeddick wrote:What still needs inventing?

Something that cleans my ass for me and doesn't leave it as wet as this goddamned bidet, that's what.

quit trying to watch and you'll be fine.

theCryptofishist · Post by **theCryptofishist** » Mon Mar 12, 2012 8:32 pm

I hope that's a one-ply bidet.

mudpuppy000 · Post by **mudpuppy000** » Mon Mar 12, 2012 10:05 pm

Sober pill

gyre · Post by **gyre** » Mon Mar 12, 2012 10:20 pm

wh..sh wrote:@gyre - Between Ramanyan, Mahabharat and other scriptures we have lot of potential inventions.
But I am thinking Chinese are ahead of us here.

Wan Hu did reach the moon during the Ming Dynasty.

Bob · Post by **Bob** » Mon Mar 12, 2012 10:56 pm

NASA "invented" glass magnets, but they only work on the Moon.

Elliot · Post by **Elliot** » Mon Mar 12, 2012 11:09 pm

Bob wrote:NASA invented glass magnets, but they only work on the Moon.

So... if I read that correctly, all we have to do is get the glass makers to embed plenty of iron particles in the beer bottles.

oneeyeddick · Post by **oneeyeddick** » Mon Mar 12, 2012 11:58 pm

mudpuppy000 wrote:Sober pill

Already exists, over 25 years now, as well as the "no hangover" pill, which is also available at any drugstore.

theCryptofishist · Post by **theCryptofishist** » Tue Mar 13, 2012 8:16 am

A way to cover up my embarrassing mistakes, or better yet make it seem they never happened.

And don't try and tell me "apology" is it, Dick.

theCryptofishist · Post by **theCryptofishist** » Tue Mar 13, 2012 6:55 pm

A pee funnel for the woman in a wheelchair!

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