Fuck!

[ygmir]

awe fuck......MA..........(((((((((((MA))))))))))))
yer doing the best you can for Max.
know, he knows it..........don't be afraid, to let him know, it's ok to go..........

[Eric]

MDF- glad the Piss Clear book helped!

MA- fuck. I'm so sorry- it always hurts to lose our babies.

[MyDearFriend]

(((Eric))) that book has saved my fucking sanity this week.

(((MA))) it is hard, even when you know it's time, it's always hard to say goodbye.

[wh..sh]

I am so sorry to hear about Max, MA

[tamarakay]

Fuck.
Had my HR appointment yesterday. No idea how it went, I think i've blacked out some of it. Fucking really. I'm fucking to suppose to write up a little synopsis of what fucking happened, but I just go blank and start fucking shaking.

So, feeling fucking powerless sucks.

Perspective = I have the most fabulous fucking husband and even if we fucking have to sell this place and fucking move to find jobs, we have each other.

[ygmir]

and, TK, don't fucking forget us, here, who love ya, too!!
we're pulling for you!!

[theCryptofishist]

Fuck, I bet we could write you a narrative. Then all you'd have to do is edit out a couple of inconsistencies.

[OregonRed]

Fuck, I bet we could write you a narrative. Then all you'd have to do is edit out a couple of inconsistencies.

Actually TK, that's not a fucking bad idea. Use what you've posted in this forum to help develop your "written" account. Or just say "Fuck those guys in their asses w/o fucking lube," cut your losses and know that you are rich in the ways that really count: friends, family, and love.

[tamarakay]

well fuck. I have a first rough draft copy of my fucking statement. Anyone want to help me smooth it out? shoot me a pm with your email and I'll send you a copy. It's in Word.docx format so if I need to just copy/paste to email let me know.

and Fuck. And I only fucking puked two times writing it!

[tamarakay]

Fucking thank you all you responders. I think I've got enough help now!
You guys fucking rock.

[tamarakay]

Oh, and I have to go to Fucking san antonio to pick one of the daughters up from the bus station. I will be out of pocket several hours. I fucking forgot completely about here. This has me so fucking stressed.

[Sail Man]

Oh fuck.....(((((MA))))) (((((TK))))) Hugs and good Karma for both of you

[Elderberry]

I've been avoiding this thread for tha last several weeks. Why I decided to click on it today, I'll never know. All I can say is FUCK. I HATE HEARING BAD NEWS; especially when it's happening to good people. Probably why I've been avoiding the thread.

[Elorrum]

Fuck, diminished things. keep thinking of Frost's The Oven Bird"
The bird would cease and be as other birds
But that he knows in singing not to sing.
The question that he frames in all but words
Is what to make of a diminished thing.

It was diminishing for a while, and now it's falling off in huge chunks like a glacier near the sea in 100 degree weather. My mother has cancer and dementia. I'm rooting for the cancer. That is so fucked.
Got a call last night that my mother had a new prescription that needed to be picked up and could I bring it to her? Well, I live nearly an hour away. Oh, it's o.k. to get it in the morning. I call in the morning and the hospice nurse is there with my mother. The pharmacy is about three blocks from there. Can we make other arrangements? No, the nurse is an aide, and not authorized to get meds. I get the meds, deliver them to the med management folks. big hurry right. not really.... they will administer them in their rounds at 8PM! what the fuck? Hospice is really helping, great attention to my mother. but this having me drive 2hrs round trip in a rainstorm over highway 17 to make a pharmacy delivery is so screwy, needs to be fucking sorted out.

[jella]

(((((Elorrum)))) I wish I could hug your real grief..It's not fucked to want her to be in peace..Fuck dimished things indeed.

[maryanimal]

((((Elorrum)))) I wish I could hug you right now.

[MyDearFriend]

Oh (((Elorrum))) so sorry, sounds like they screwed up so I hope they get that sorted out. Hospice usually only supports meds that are immediately useful for comfort and relief, so, maybe it's something they wanted her to have on hand in case of Bad Shit Happening.

I remember wandering the dim back corridors of the little county hospital late one night, picking up some kind of sedative drops for my dad on instructions from the hospice folks. Why I had to do that after hours I will never know. Those fucking meds sat in the fridge for days before we needed them, but, when we did, two drops under the tongue restored peace almost immediately. So I guess it was worth it.

Fuck, though.

[tamarakay]

(((((elorrum)))))

[ygmir]

awe fuck..........((((((((((Elorrum)))))))))))), about all we can do, is wish you the best, send strength and viritual hugs.......but,know, we're doing that.
My Step dad had Hospice........great folks.
Hang on, pal.......

[theCryptofishist]

((((((ellorum)))))

(If it makes it any better, I'm rooting for the cancer, too.)

[Elorrum]

Thanks friends. I appreciate the news from folks who've been through this. It's just fucking jolting along and that's how it fucking is. When I'm there I expect to stay all day unraveling mysteries. The oxygen delivery was one. huh? Three phone calls, hospice said no they didn't order it. Facility says, no we don't order that. Do we have somebody else's oxygen? There's a local number on the tank... "hi, who ordered this?" "hospice." (note to self, get a notepad, start writing down the different nurse's names and dates of contact. oooh another use for the ipod touch. keep those suckers charged.) "A nurse is coming... Are you going to be there for a while?" Nurse shows up, and there's another prescription. "Are you going to be here for a while, so you can go get that?" She has a cold, productive cough, asthma, a tendency to pneumonia. nebulizer meds, antibiotics. (Where's the machine that goes, "BING?") Everything has wheels, and she has to keep moving and arranging and asking what for. and the dreaded "that is something she can request as needed." This is the woman who left her phone off the charger too long, and decided a note on the door that said, "help me." was adequate for communicating need. oy. FUCK! so, today, I am taking a phone line splitter and a regular old corded phone. She understands old technology.

[tamarakay]

Well Fuck Elorrum. When my sweet father in law was in hospice we were assigned a hospice social worker too. She was my rock. Hospice services aren't just for the ill, they are for the whole family.

And well, Fuck. I wish I were there.

[Elorrum]

Fucking Good advice tk, the social worker is my next call this morning. My sister's out of town, and we usually team up to solve most of these things. We are already feeling the relief that hospice is providing, just need to work out a few kinks. I'm so glad I'm not alone in this. My father had hospice for less than 24 hours... it came too late in the game, so we never really experienced it.

[ygmir]

one of my fucking friends and a Burner, was a Hospice social worker, for a number of years........they are a great resource,,,,,,,Just let them know everything that's going on.......they know, and do, their jobs well.

[AntiM]

Fuck, as usual I don't have the words.... fucking love and strength and hugs (((El))).

[Eric]

Fuck Ellorum.

My grandmother also had Hospice (at home- my parents stayed with her because she wanted to be in the house she lived in for 60 years), they were fantastic for all of us. They really had us as prepared as you can be at the end.

[jella]

((El))

Hospice allowed for my mother to pass in her own home surrounded by family and her beloved pets..It was a true blessing and a genuine comfort for all of us. Bless them for all they do.

[Sail Man]

Oh Fuck (((((Ellorum)))))

I've seen what hospice can do, from the medic side, and they are truly wonderful people, sometimes it amazes me that they are able to be that rock for the pt and family when surrounded by all of the grief, but they do.

Give your Mom a hug for us, tell her we are thinking of her, and thank her for giving us our friend Ellorum.

[Elorrum]

oh you guys....fuck. How nice you are. thank you.

[OregonRed]

((((Elorrum)))) Fuck, I'm sorry.