What is your Sign?

[Nipple]

Occasionally I get to work on top of tall things.

I'll admit that I've had... the urge.

[wh..sh]

Capricorn Dec 22 - Jan 19
You'll soon move to a faraway city where nobody knows who you are, which makes it kind of odd that they're all trying to kill you too.

Thing is I am going to India this week... India, home... it would be odd if they try to kill me.

[Nipple]

It's more likely my home city will do me in, than my current residence.

[C187]

I'm a Libra, and I agree with the onion. It's like they have a mind reading device pointed at me from the MOON!

[Savannah]

I'm a Libra, and I agree with the onion. It's like they have a mind reading device pointed at me from the MOON!

Oh, that's just me. (Please ignore the clicking and whirring.)

[robbidobbs]

I've got over 350 signs.
Oh, that kind of sign - Gemini. I have a side of me that only comes out on-playa.

[lucky420]

[quote robbidobbs
I've got over 350 signs.
Oh, that kind of sign - Gemini. I have a side of me that only comes out on-playa.][/quote]

Gemini here too! YAY! Isn't it just wonderful having two sides...heeeheeeehee

[robbidobbs]

robbidobbs
I've got over 350 signs.
Oh, that kind of sign - Gemini. I have a side of me that only comes out on-playa.]

Gemini here too! YAY! Isn't it just wonderful having two sides...heeeheeeehee

Sometimes. It makes normals jump when my dark side peeps out before I can push it back into the closet.

[C187]

I'm a Libra, and I agree with the onion. It's like they have a mind reading device pointed at me from the MOON!

Oh, that's just me. (Please ignore the clicking and whirring.)

You're not allowed to substitute the missing hemisphere of your brain with the random thoughts of my devious plans.

[Savannah]

I'm a Libra, and I agree with the onion. It's like they have a mind reading device pointed at me from the MOON!

Oh, that's just me. (Please ignore the clicking and whirring.)

You're not allowed to substitute the missing hemisphere of your brain with the random thoughts of my devious plans.

Too late. There's a helluva thought salad being made in my cranium right now.

[ygmir]

I'll make dressing..........

[wh..sh]

I thought this week's horrorscope was funny (courtesy: Onion network)

Aries - Mar 21 - Apr 19
The sudden premature arrival of your baby can still be a cause for joy, despite the fact that you were completely unaware you were pregnant, female, or had ever had sex.
Taurus - Apr 20 - May 20
Yet another week will go by during which you're so caught up in your own personal business that you'll completely forget you were supposed to murder Nicole.
Gemini - May 21 - Jun 21
It's not the part about the calls coming from inside the house that's creepy; it's the fact that the police could figure that out even though everyone has cell phones these days.
Cancer - Jun 22 - Jul 22
Although you completely understand the building inspector's point about wheelchair access, you're not certain the ramps are quite in keeping with the purpose of your Burmese tiger traps.
Leo - Jul 23 - Aug 22
Mercury is in retrograde this week, which may explain why it's falling back into all its old bad habits like drinking too much and talking crap about you to all your mutual planetary friends.
Virgo - Aug 23 - Sep 22
While it's true engineers have been known to drill "lightening holes" in vehicles to reduce their weight, it's probably best that you just eat less and exercise regularly.
Libra - Sep 23 - Oct 23
You still don't fully grasp the difference between tongue depressors and Popsicle sticks, especially since they both burn at pretty much the same temperature and fit in the same places in people.
Scorpio - Oct 24 - Nov 21
You've been reluctant to try it, but your experience with cybersex is actually warm, satisfying, and mutually uplifting, you horribly stunted emotional cripple.
Sagittarius - Nov 22 - Dec 21
It's true that no man is an island, but all bullshit humanistic hand-wringing aside, it's totally okay to be happy that malignant Breitbart asshole is gone forever.
Capricorn - Dec 22 - Jan 19
You will finally settle on the one question that will define how you interact with the rest of humanity, but sadly, it turns out that most of them were in fact going to finish eating that.
Aquarius - Jan 20 - Feb 18
Although you won't discover electricity in the absolute sense this week, you will discover it in a very profound personal fashion.
Pisces - Feb 19 - Mar 20
Thursday is not going to be the least bit funny to you, but it will be hilarious to the chair-lift operator, the septic tank man, the EMTs, and everyone who reads about it in the New York Post

[ygmir]

and, being on the Libra/Scorpio cusp wins again!!

[theCryptofishist]

Cancer - Jun 22 - Jul 22
Although you completely understand the building inspector's point about wheelchair access, you're not certain the ramps are quite in keeping with the purpose of your Burmese tiger traps.

Hm. You know...now that you mention it...crippled tigers are more likely to turn to human flesh. So trapping them is .... provided a service to humanity! Redemption, here I come!

[ranger magnum]

I was born under a neon sign. In september. On the 17th.

[dr.placebo]

Oddly enough, this is also a good representation of how I look when dancing.

[Stephendragonfly]

My astrological sign is the Dragon, yet the Onion never seems to write up any of the Chinese Astrological signs....

[moonrise]

STOP!





how corny

[Ugly Dougly]

[robbidobbs]

That's Gonzo's new wallpaper! Thanks!

[wh..sh]

It's been a while since I posted this mambo jumbo shit.
You know you missed it

Aries Mar 21 - Apr 19 - Sex with you is an earth-shattering experience, especially the part where hundreds of Indonesians lose their lives.
Taurus Apr 20 - May 20 - Your shortness of breath and wild fainting spells will be cured this week, thanks to a series of well-placed commas.
Gemini May 21 - Jun 21 - Don't spend the rest of your life wondering "what if?" Dress the dog in full military regalia before it's too late.
Cancer Jun 22 - Jul 22 - The human body is a work of art, which explains why those security guards won't let you touch it.
Leo Jul 23 - Aug 22 - Being bright, handsome, and exceptionally talented isn't all that it's cracked up to be. So at least you've got that going for you.
Virgo Aug 23 - Sep 22 - You'll feast on the flesh of your mortal enemy, which is lucky for you, as your mortal enemy is the orange-braised duck.
Libra Sep 23 - Oct 23 - Turns out it was the butler, in the study, with the candlestick. But enough about your love life.
Scorpio Oct 24 - Nov 21 - Your work with disadvantaged and at-risk youth continues this Thursday when you're forced to hand them your wallet.
Sagittarius Nov 22 - Dec 21 - Friends will soon discover the secret ingredient to your world-famous lemon bars, though they'll lack the necessary motor functions to tell others.
Capricorn Dec 22 - Jan 19 - Follow your dreams this week. When delivering a presentation at work, turn into a giant eggplant and fly away.
Aquarius Jan 20 - Feb 18 - You can put it off today, and you might even be able to brush it aside tomorrow, but pretty soon you're going to have to figure out why your arm is on fire.
Pisces Feb 19 - Mar 20 - You'll turn to religion this week, dislocating your neck, both shoulders, and most of your tendons in the process.

thank you, Onion Network.

[ygmir]

I do love being a cusp baby:

Libra Sep 23 - Oct 23 - Turns out it was the butler, in the study, with the candlestick. But enough about your love life.
Scorpio Oct 24 - Nov 21 - Your work with disadvantaged and at-risk youth continues this Thursday when you're forced to hand them your wallet.

[motskyroonmatick]

Leo Jul 23 - Aug 22 - Being bright, handsome, and exceptionally talented isn't all that it's cracked up to be. So at least you've got that going for you.

Ahhhh Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!!!!!!!

[knowmad]

Follow your dreams this week.

sounds like a good plan! till you find out that your dreams are just about stoned as you are, lost my lighter too!

[wh..sh]

Follow your dreams this week.

sounds like a good plan! till you find out that your dreams are just about stoned as you are, lost my lighter too!

Getting stoned helps with turning into a giant eggplant and flying away.

[lucky420]

As a gemini, I love dressing my dog up. she's a gemini too but I don't think she enjoys it as much as i do.

[Ugly Dougly]

I do love being a cusp baby:

Libra Sep 23 - Oct 23 - Turns out it was the butler, in the study, with the candlestick. But enough about your love life.
Scorpio Oct 24 - Nov 21 - Your work with disadvantaged and at-risk youth continues this Thursday when you're forced to hand them your wallet.

Libra/Scorpio? You Libra half can't decide whether to be complex or mysterious?

[catinthefunnyhat]

I do love being a cusp baby:

Libra Sep 23 - Oct 23 - Turns out it was the butler, in the study, with the candlestick. But enough about your love life.
Scorpio Oct 24 - Nov 21 - Your work with disadvantaged and at-risk youth continues this Thursday when you're forced to hand them your wallet.

Libra/Scorpio? You Libra half can't decide whether to be complex or mysterious?

His Libra half can't decide. His Scorpio half has decided, but won't tell.