your stupid joke here

jorgebongo · Post by **jorgebongo** » Sat Jan 21, 2012 6:59 pm

What's yellow and red and looks great on hippies?

Fire!

Why don't they have a hunting season for hippies?

Have you ever tried to clean one of those fuckers...

theCryptofishist · Post by **theCryptofishist** » Sun Feb 26, 2012 8:22 pm

What do you call a woman with no legs?

Dilapidated.

maryanimal · Post by **maryanimal** » Sun Feb 26, 2012 8:38 pm

What's the difference between a rooster and a postitute?

A rooster says, Cock a doodle doo!

A prostitute says, Any cock'll do!

graidawg · Post by **graidawg** » Sat Mar 03, 2012 5:06 pm

why was 6 scared of 7? because 7 8 9
alternative version
why was 6 scared of 7? because 7 is a cunt

knowmad · Post by **knowmad** » Sun Mar 04, 2012 1:24 am

how do you catch a unique rabbit?
you 'neek' up on it.
how do you catch a tame unique rabbit?
tame way you 'neek' up on it.

wh..sh · Post by **wh..sh** » Mon Mar 05, 2012 7:33 pm

knowmad wrote:how do you catch a unique rabbit?
you 'neek' up on it.
how do you catch a tame unique rabbit?
tame way you 'neek' up on it.

*snickers*

ygmir · Post by **ygmir** » Mon Mar 05, 2012 10:19 pm

wh..sh wrote:
knowmad wrote:how do you catch a unique rabbit?
you 'neek' up on it.
how do you catch a tame unique rabbit?
tame way you 'neek' up on it.

*snickers*

[youtube][/youtube]

knowmad · Post by **knowmad** » Tue Mar 06, 2012 12:18 pm

thx YGY! one of my faves!

theCryptofishist · Post by **theCryptofishist** » Fri May 18, 2012 10:17 am

Did you hear about the ventriloquist who was using a sea bird instead of a dummy?

He was talking out of tern.

FIGJAM · Post by **FIGJAM** » Fri May 18, 2012 12:30 pm

My eyes arn't what they use to be.

They used to be my ears!

TomServo · Post by **TomServo** » Fri May 18, 2012 12:35 pm

What did the DJ say after the drugs wore off?

"Man, this music sucks!"

catinthefunnyhat · Post by **catinthefunnyhat** » Fri May 18, 2012 4:45 pm

What's brown and sticky?

A stick.

graidawg · Post by **graidawg** » Fri May 18, 2012 4:49 pm

whats pink and fluffy?

pink fluff

TomServo · Post by **TomServo** » Fri May 18, 2012 5:41 pm

Think I posted this before..but oh well..

What do you get from having sex with birds?

Chirpies...

Its a canarial disease that's untweetable.

FIGJAM · Post by **FIGJAM** » Fri May 18, 2012 6:33 pm

What's green and slimy and smells like bacon?

Kermit the frogs finger!

Thecatman · Post by **Thecatman** » Fri May 18, 2012 9:05 pm

A blond joke.

A blond and a brunette were watching the evening news
A story about a man planning to jump from the 20th floor of a building had the headlines.
"I'll bet you fifty bucks he jumps" the brunette says to the blond.
"You're on" replys the blond.
It turns out the man jumped.
The blond pays the $50
The brunette says
"I can't take your money. I saw the midday news and I knew he was going to jump".
The blond replys "No, you won it. I saw the midday news too but I didn't think he would jump twice in one day".

graidawg · Post by **graidawg** » Sat May 19, 2012 9:43 am

4 blondes walk into a bar and the barman asks what they want - 4 shots please they reply the barman serves them and they all say 56! before downing the shot.
unusual toast says the barman, why 56?
well replies one the blondes we just finished a jigsaw, and it took us 56 days but it said for 2 to 5 years on the box

Onion · Post by **Onion** » Sat May 19, 2012 11:55 am

So, three mice are sitting at a bar, talking about how tough they are.

Mouse 1: I'm so tough, I grab the bar on the mousetraps and bench press that shit.

Mouse 2: Oh yeah, well I crush up poison pellets and snort it like it's cocaine.

Mouse 3 gets up and starts walking away.

Mouse 2: Where ya going? Not tough enough to hang with us?

Mouse 3: Nah, I gotta go home and.....................

fuck the cat!

ranger magnum · Post by **ranger magnum** » Sat May 19, 2012 9:52 pm

Whats better than winning the gold medal at the special olympics?

Not being retarded

Gonzo Frothwood · Post by **Gonzo Frothwood** » Tue May 22, 2012 5:12 pm

Met a girl in a bar. She asked me to take her home with me. I said I charge a dollar an inch. That will be $2.

She laughed.

And I said...

...the first foot's free.

Thecatman · Post by **Thecatman** » Mon May 28, 2012 7:32 pm

Three elderly couples in their early 80s were enjoying afternoon tea together.
One of the elderly gents says to his wife, "Will you please pass me the sugar?
Sugar!"

One of the other gents sees this and says to his wife, "Will you please pass me the honey?
Honey!"

The last gent catches on and says to his wife, "Will you please pass me a tea?
Bag!"

knowmad · Post by **knowmad** » Tue May 29, 2012 3:51 pm

A guy walks into a bar. He asks the bartender, "Do you have any helicopter flavored potato chips?" The bartender shakes his head and says, "No, we only have plain."

theCryptofishist · Post by **theCryptofishist** » Sun Jul 01, 2012 11:28 pm

What do you call a builder in Dresden?

The Erector of Saxony...

Sail Man · Post by **Sail Man** » Mon Jul 09, 2012 7:49 pm

So, one day farmer Lyle and his son Timmy were out in the field when Timmy spied two cows over younder.
"Pa, what are then thar cow's doing"
"Well boy, their mating"
"Huh?" says Timmy
"There screwing, fucking, having sex" says Lyle
"Huh?"
"OK" says Lyle, let me go show you with Ma......so into the farm house they go. "Ma! Drop your drawers and lean over the table....now Timmy, you see that thar hole tween Ma's legs?"
"Yeah" says Timmy
"Well, watch this" and Lyle drops his pants and begins to screw Ma, "This is mating son!" He hollars as he continues thrusting...
And in walks Timmy's sister Tammy.
"Brother Timmy, what are Ma and Pa doing?" she asks.
"There mating" he says.
"Huh?" Tammy replies
"Well", says Timmy, dropping his drawers.

"You see that that hole tween Pa's legs?"

S.Factor123 · Post by **S.Factor123** » Tue Jul 10, 2012 1:35 am

Not so funny, or not of my type jokes.

knowmad · Post by **knowmad** » Tue Jul 10, 2012 3:38 pm

oh SM!

theCryptofishist · Post by **theCryptofishist** » Tue Jul 10, 2012 4:09 pm

Nice!

knowmad · Post by **knowmad** » Tue Jul 10, 2012 4:12 pm

theCryptofishist wrote:Nice!

I thought you'd like that Fishy.

theCryptofishist · Post by **theCryptofishist** » Sun Nov 11, 2012 9:21 pm

Communist Russia... Joke

A judge walks out of the courtroom, laughing loudly. A colleague asks, "What is it you laugh about?"
"Ah, I just heard an excellent anecdote," the judge says, sweeping tears of laughter.
"An anecdote? Tell me!"
"Are you crazy? I just sentenced a man to ten years for that anecdote."

Scatter42 · Post by **Scatter42** » Sun Nov 11, 2012 10:22 pm

Ha Ha comrade.... is funny

What did the mathematician say when he found his pet parrot missing...?

Polygon!

<sigh>

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