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Kinetic · Post by **Kinetic** » Sun Sep 14, 2003 9:54 am

I love e-playa and BM. One reality check, served up with a vengeance.

The battle of the stuff. That's what I call it. I got my pricey 4x4, my HDTV, my 7 Disc DVD Changer, mountain bikes, kayaks, and on and on it goes.

And half of it sits unused like trophies in a trophy case.

Part of me wants to jettison the stuff or the orbiting cluster of materialistic satellites that seem to collect about me. Another part likes seeing that bit of space filled. It's a mess of feelings.

On top of that is my latest question...a girlfriend / kindred spirit that now after the burn has me involved in a relationship that is rocking my core beliefs and even some long term plans, and has me seriously thinking of "Rings, Strings, and Kids" as I call it, and that ring would be on her hand by Christmas.

What the fuck is wrong with me? Why am I even considering this and even considering kids...$250,000 bundles of joy, shit, hassles, and more troubles than I really need? Should I just run and hide and withdraw from the world again?

Maybe if Sprint does offshore me, I need to get rid of my shit, let them have the fucking truck, buy me a small Honda Civic so I can load up my crap and go to the PCT and go hking. Or get a sea kayak and go for it.

So I seriously need another reality check. Why am I posting this? I don't know. I guess it's because I need some help too, a sharp reality slap would be helpful I think. Any comments?

I am totally freakin lost.

blyslv · Post by **blyslv** » Sun Sep 14, 2003 1:23 pm

StarBoy wrote:Checking back in, as requested.

There are, frankly, dozens and dozens of friends that I could never bring to the playa...so I'm going to fucking try and bring some playa to them.

Welcome Home.

PJ · Post by PJ » Sun Sep 14, 2003 4:35 pm

Kinetic wrote:...Why am I even considering this and even considering kids...$250,000 bundles of joy, shit, hassles, and more troubles than I really need? Should I just run and hide and withdraw from the world again?

Everybody that hasn't been there fixates on the expense and the diapers.

Kids aren't expensive. They're infinitely time consuming, but they don't have to be expensive. Sure, they can be brutally costly if you meekly follow the herd of American parents that get two jobs, a house bigger than they need, day care so both parents can work, fancy clothes so the kids don't feel their classmates are better-dressed than they, a car when they turn 16, and so on. All that standard consumerist society bullshit means nothing; what they really need is for you to spend lots of time with them.

The diaper stage doesn't last very long and isn't all that laborious. As unpleasant jobs go, I'll pick diaper changing and laundering over farming or retail or hot-roofing any day.

However they're gonna eat up pretty much all of your free time for eighteen years. But if there was ever something a human could regret, intentionally doing a bad job of raising your kids should top the list.

Kinetic · Post by **Kinetic** » Sun Sep 14, 2003 5:02 pm

I've got a lot of stuff under review right now, and relationships and kids are on top of the list. Thanks PJ for the reality check, it was exactly what I needed.

PJ · Post by PJ » Sun Sep 14, 2003 5:23 pm

Kinetic wrote:...reality check...

Note that I'm not saying it's a good idea, necessarily.

I'm not particularly good at it myself. Some people are worse, I suppose. But it does NOT come naturally to me.

precipitate · Post by **precipitate** » Mon Sep 15, 2003 11:29 pm

> Part of me wants to jettison the stuff

I found moving (voluntarily) from a five bedroom house to a 10x10 room
extremely therapeutic. Yeah, I miss having storage space for my coolers.
I can deal.

As for the marriagekid thing. I'd urge you to wait at least 12 months
after initial, you know, being a thing, before you consider that. There's
this awesome honeymoon thing that happens. It's great. It's sooooo
much fun. But it can also be misleading. Give your biological reactions time to
subside before making life-changing decisions. In my experience, that
happens by about a year. And be honest. Don't allow her
biological drives to dictate what you do. Make sure you want it, because
it's a long commitment.

Oh, and I think more of the good folks should procreate. Lord knows
I should probably be making up for my step-sisters' progeny.

Rob the Wop · Post by **Rob the Wop** » Tue Sep 16, 2003 8:18 am

StarBoy wrote:Starboy: And...I've finally decided on a "project" (TOP SECRET!) to engage in here in the real world. Part of my "recovery" occurred when I stopped thinking about all the shit I wanted to do at BM'04, and began trying to think of shit I could do here, now.

My first year at Burning Man blew my mind. I had just move to Portland, so when I mentioned I was from Portland- I had people ask me if I was part of the Portland Cacophony Society. I looked them up after I came back, looking for people with a creative and bizarre mindset. Found em. I've been seeing a fellow Caco and lovely artist beauty for the past 4 1/2 years. If I'm not doing weird shit with the Cacos, I'm fucking with the public with my sweetie. We get stuck in traffic- we reach in back and put on pimp and hooker outfits, then act like we're low riding. Fancy dinner at a classy restuarant? Sound like we need to put on fuzzy bunny slippers, green mud masks, a ratty bathrobe, and put curlers in our hair. Grocery shopping? Obviously a low backed black dinner dress while she dresses as Frank Zappa.

Weird shit is all in your head buddy. Let it out before your freakin' head explodes. This is THE REASON I quit going to Burning Man. I now get weird enough in everyday life to suit me.

Kinetic wrote:Kinetic: The battle of the stuff. That's what I call it. I got my pricey 4x4, my HDTV, my 7 Disc DVD Changer, mountain bikes, kayaks, and on and on it goes.

Hey now, you can't put down STUFF. STUFF is cool. I just spent the last weekend putting up a cedar and clear roofing plastic structure on a concrete slab in back. Inside is cedar garden lattice, which I will cover in fake silk ivy and white Christmas lights. Add a green outdoor carpet, green neon sign saying "relax ya bastard", green rope lights, mini-fridge, mini-stereo, and a green 6 person hot tub with green LED in it. I now have a chill space that you wouldn't find on the playa. BM is neat, but the desert pales in comparison to many other climates IMO.

multiple · Post by **multiple** » Tue Sep 16, 2003 9:42 am

Kinetic wrote:
...rocking my core beliefs and even some long term plans, and has me seriously thinking of "Rings, Strings, and Kids"
What the fuck is wrong with me?

Nothing.
you seem to desire more than your 'toys' at this point....what could be better than that warm lump beside you everynight helping you masterbate?
encouraging your beliefs (stimulating deep conversation) just THERE...with you.

spice it up with unleashing everything you ever wanted to share with another human....make SAFE to be SAFE....

the birth of your child.....a full on life changing experience that will strike the center of your world.....
money, helps....but
kids never quit demanding your attention.
they never stop helping you grow.
they are the best parts of you (and the best parts of her)
they are shitty for the first three years, after that they tend to wipe their own ass....
there are things like the PTO, dance class, play groups and JUMP HOUSES...birthday parties and superbowl sunday interuptions...

Don't think because you have a child you have to give up your toys, you just sacrifice time to play with them....

If this kindred spirit loves you, unconditionally....that is a good start. If you love her back, unconditionally....you are halfway to utter contentment.

you will find kids make you second guess your Ideals...
you won't ever regret them
you may want to send them away for a while, standard feelings....
but on the whole they are a trip that lasts and lasts...like no other.

to quote my 3yo son,
"Mom do kids say shit? --- no...ok. Darnit and bugger me, I broke my dirtbike!"

my 2bits

Flux · Post by **Flux** » Tue Sep 16, 2003 9:45 am

multiple wrote:what could be better than that warm lump beside you everynight helping you masterbate?

Oh, multiple, you're such a romantic! I think I'm going to swoon...

multiple's son wrote:"Mom do kids say shit? --- no...ok. Darnit and bugger me, I broke my dirtbike!"

multiple, you have got to bring this dude to KidsVille! He'll fit right in!

PJ · Post by PJ » Tue Sep 16, 2003 11:09 am

multiple wrote:what could be better than that warm lump beside you everynight helping you masterbate?

"Every night" is one hell of an exaggeration after the kids arrive. YOU might enjoy the idea of it but Mom already has surplus entities clinging to her all day and has had pleny of 24-7 physical contact, thank you very much, and has already been thinking that killing would be OK if it meant meant four consecutive hours of undisturbed sleep.

Nobody tells young unmarried males anything about this, of course--would be too disruptive to society for them to know. But in any case it only lasts eighteen years or so. Doesn't it? I'll keep you advised after I find out.

multiple · Post by **multiple** » Wed Sep 17, 2003 12:07 pm

I believe my husband would shout a slightly different viewpoint as well... okay....not everynight.... at least ~ no sex in the first five years after the first baby.......'wink'
didn't want to scare the dude out of the little blessings children are!!

multiple · Post by **multiple** » Wed Sep 17, 2003 12:10 pm

Flux wrote: multiple, you have got to bring this dude to KidsVille! He'll fit right in!

I think maybe we will after BM stops giving us what we need....adult stimulation away from the kids kind of passion....I have read posts about bringing children and my main concern would be for their well being which ultimatley means...

if mom aint happy....ya know

helitack · Post by **helitack** » Sun Apr 01, 2007 8:01 pm

Dammit dont ya hate when that happens?

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Re: Hooo Wooo