Well... this is awkward.

[catinthefunnyhat]

If you're like me, there are a lot of awkward moments in your life.
Post them here.

[catinthefunnyhat]

I'll start. I have a new neighbour (I think). I was taking out the trash and met a woman in the hallway carrying laundry to the elevator. Thinking she looked unfamiliar and must be new in the building, I smiled and said, "Hi, there!" She responded with "Hi, Catherine!" I kind of just rushed past with the garbage and didn't say anything else, but apparently I've met her before... talked enough to exchange names... and forgotten about it?

[junglesmacks]

Where do you even begin with something like this? Do you want it organized into weeks?

I have them on a semi-hourly basis.

[catinthefunnyhat]

Heh... so between you and me, it will be a busy thread.
Just post them as they happen, or as you relive them in horrible, horrible flashbacks. *sits in corner and rocks*

[Ugly Dougly]

The neighbor across the street knocked on my door just as the GF and I were just starting to... er... I had to put my shirt on to answer the door.

Anyway... Next!

[maryanimal]

My life is an awkward moment.*L* Let's see, ok! when I was a kid in 4th grade, we were all standing in line after recess to go back to class. I had turned around to talk to the kid behind me, I turned around flailing my arms like a ballerina and whacked my teacher right in the crotch. He had his hands in his pockets at the time and just jumped a bit without missing a stride, like nothing happened.

[Trishntek]

Long ago, while Trish and I were enjoying an evening in L.A. at what was promoted as an "underground night club", we were in the porn room with several other couples. Having two or three Long Island ice teas under our belts we were feeling rather frolickish. The couple beside us in a,,, something like a dining booth started fucking,,, in fact her head was on my lap. Trish decided to engage my lightly-covered manhood orally under the table and all was going great!

Then, ALLOFASUDDEN! Bright lights in our direction and the hostess yells, "I hear somebody is having sex in here!" Obviously, the couple beside us was busted and we would have been okay if Trish had not raised her head to see what was going on and,,, well,,, my engorged member was there for everyone to see. We were escorted out and told to never return,,,, awkward indeed to get 86'd from a so-called underground night club.

[wh..sh]

This thread is going to be so much fun!

I used to live in an apartment closer to the downtown.
One evening, 2 of my friends and I were chatting and laughing while walking to friend's apartment. He lived on 3rd floor.
Between all the chatting and laughing, we accidentally went to 2nd floor, 3rd house on the left.
We opened the unlocked door. To our surprise, there was a guy sitting in the middle of the room. It was a moment of 4 shocked faces!
After few seconds, the realization dawned on everyone and the guy screamed "get the fuck out of my house" We ran out giggling.

[Eric]

I'm walking into a club with a friend, and this stunner of a boy gives me a smile & says "hi".
I have no idea who he is, but he's super cute, so I smile shyly & say "hi" back.
There's a dead-nasty pause, he gives me a slightly dirty look, and leaves the club.

I turn to my friend and wonder what that was all about.
Response: "do you know him?"
"I don't think so"
"Think again. You were making out with him for over an hour last night..."



(it is, however, nice to know I have impeccable taste even in blackout...)

[tamarakay]

I sat next to a girl at an AA meeting, we both kept saying wow you look familiar. Went back and forth over our lives. Turns out she was a roommate of mine about three years before I got sober. She lived in the garage really and I only saw her when I needed to wash clothes and when she paid me the rent. but still. Lots of reasons to be in AA i guess lol

[Drawingablank]

Back when junior was in little league, the team's second baseman was wool gathering during a play and the ball thrown to him went unnoticed and bounced off his chest.

I said to my wife "if that kid had to play for shit, he wouldn't get two smells" as I turned to look at her.

Turns out my wife was talking to his parents at the time. The look on their faces was priceless, although it did make the rest of the season rather awkward.

And no, I'm not one of those psychos that gets all crazy over a kids game, I don't even like ball sports. It was just a snarky subdued comment to my wife standing next to me.

[catinthefunnyhat]

Ok, back in the day...

Was living in a basement apartment in a sketchy building with no buzzer. People would stand outside the front of the building and yell their friends' names, in the hopes that their friends would let them in. Since I was in the basement facing the street, sometimes people would knock on my window and say, "I'm here so see so-and-so, can you ask him/her to let me in?"

Well, one night, my then-BF (now partner) was over and we were rolling, uh, cigarettes in the living room. There's a knock on the window. I answer. "POLICE! LET US IN NOW!" The way I'm holding the curtain, they can see everything.

Shit! We packed up our, erm, tobacco, and I went up to let the cops in. One of them runs immediately upstairs. The other looks at me, sheepishly, and says, "Don't you hate having to be the one to let the pigs in?"

How do you answer that? I stand there, embarrased. I was fully expecting them to want to talk to me. Instead, this cop is making awkward pig jokes while his partner has rushed ahead to deal with something considerably more serious. I just stand there, stammering and blushing, until the joker runs upstairs after his partner. I never did find out what it was about.

[ygmir]

*searching for Rolodex*

[junglesmacks]

I go commando. I just do. More comfy that way. I picked up the habit years ago while living in Central America and it just stuck. I run a hot anyway as a person and can't stand things like shirts or shoes.

Anyway.. I was in the grocery store sometime last summer at night.. not too too many people in there but still a decent amount. I perused the aisles, gathered my stuff.. and went to check out. While I'm standing there and the girl is ringing up my things, I happen to glance down.

Zipper was down and I was out. Not just a little. Like.. full on, twig and berries completely flopped out of the down zipper.. as if I had fully intended. So far out that the zipper line was tucked back up under the "guys". No idea how long it had been like that.. but I sure as hell took a nice stroll through the grocery store and by how comfy everything looked down there, it didn't just happen.

As slyly as I could, I repackaged and zipped. True story.

[maryanimal]

Did you notice if, all of a sudden, there were a lot of the same people down every ailse you went down jk? hehehe

[tattoogoddess]

Working as a escort-
Running into one of your Johns at the store with their SO
Having a well known model come see you. I'm not hot and I'm not blonde with fake tits, so yeah I felt hella awkward with that.

[Simon of the Playa]

Working as a escort-
Running into one of your Johns at the store with their SO
Having a well known model come see you. I'm not hot and I'm not blonde with fake tits, so yeah I felt hella awkward with that.

AWK!



word....

[ygmir]

one day, long ago at the gym, I finished my workout.
I was almost delirious from fatigue.
As you walk down the hall to the showers, you can take a right, out to the hot tub, and pool, or stay straight to the showers.
So, towel over my shoulder and nothing else, I walk to the showers, take a right (I'd often go to the hot tub after, but with bathing suit ala rules and laws), and walk all the way to the edge of the pool, before realizing the giggles and snickers are coming from all the gals in the hot tub I just walked by, and the folks at the pool........
I smiled, said "hi" and went back in....melting.......

[AntiM]

A very long time ago, my brother gave me a quarter tab of acid and we went out on the town. The town being Ogden, UT in the mid 70s. I played a video game for 15 minutes before I caught on I was playing the display and hadn't put in a quarter. The sandwich guy was dying.

[catinthefunnyhat]

While I was in my first undergrad year as an "adult" student (young, but a fossil in the weird way that being a 30-year-old undergrad makes you), I decided that getting fit and lean would help me stand out a little less among all the fresh-faced younguns. Since I enjoy swimming, I went to the pool to work out.

It was my first time at that pool. The first thing I noticed was that the women's changeroom was empty. I took that as a good sign: It wouldn't be crowded! Silly, silly me. I got into my suit and walked out to the pool. Not having my glasses on, I couldn't really see much. There were just a handful of other swimmers, all concentrated at the other end of the pool. They all seemed to be men -- natural, given that the women's changerooms had been empty. It also appeared that all of these men were tall and extremely muscular, but that was obviously just an illusion caused by my poor eyesight. I continued to the edge of the pool. They all fell silent and stared at me. "Huh," I thought, "these jocks aren't used to sharing 'their' pool with 30-year-old fatladies. I'll show them!"

They continued to stare, and some even started to laugh awkwardly. "Hmmph. Just like highschool. Stupid jocks never grow up." After a few milliseconds of bodyshame and intimidation, I took a deep breath, raised my arms above my head, and prepared to dive in. Just as I got onto my tiptoes, I felt a tap on my shoulder. An embarrassed man in a track suit was addressing me.

"Ma'am," he said softly, "You can't swim here now! It's the varsity swim team's practice time."

Apparently there was a posted schedule, and I was supposed to have checked it. I never went back to that pool.

[catinthefunnyhat]

AntiM, Yggy, JS: Love these stories! Awkward, indeed

AntiM: I did something similar once, but not nearly as long or hilarious. It involved standing in line behind someone at the checkout counter in the grocery store, only she wasn't in line, and she wasn't at the checkout counter. There I was, standing very closely this poor woman as she looked at greeting cards. Fortunately, it probably wasn't more than a couple of minutes. I hadn't taken any acid, either.

[AntiM]

I have problems with faces, and names fade from my memory when I need them. Tip of the tongue brain stutters. So I know people, but I can't get the words out of my mouth, and sometimes the memory connections misfire. So if I'm grinning and hugging on the playa, be assured I know you, but I may have dropped the context for a while. Or I may just be grinning and hugging.

[Savannah]

Most recent awkward moment? It's gotta be running into Tattoogoddess at WinCo Foods . . .

[Simon of the Playa]

Most recent awkward moment? It's gotta be running into Tattoogoddess at WinCo Foods . . .

[Bounce530]

Working as a escort-
Running into one of your Johns at the store with their SO

Most recent awkward moment? It's gotta be running into Tattoogoddess at WinCo Foods . . .

[wh..sh]

Having a well known model come see you. I'm not hot and I'm not blonde with fake tits, so yeah I felt hella awkward with that.

Most recent awkward moment? It's gotta be running into Tattoogoddess at WinCo Foods . . .

This is how I read it.

[theCryptofishist]

Having a well known model come see you. I'm not hot and I'm not blonde with fake tits, so yeah I felt hella awkward with that.

This seems like a backwards way to view it... Maybe it should be more like that even a hot model doesn't know how to negociate outside of with money. Or can't ask for things from an actual girlfriend. Or, well I'm sure we could think of more without effort.
Or maybe, that youth in women confers a kind of "hotness" (or is that "heat") beyond the particulars. (And one of the particulars is likely tg is too hard on herself.)

[Savannah]

You pervs. Tattoogoddess and I ran into each other in the WinCo wearing the very same mauve spun-silk tutu decorated in live, caged hummingbirds.

It was hella awkward.

[illy dilly]

You pervs. Tattoogoddess and I ran into each other in the WinCo wearing the very same mauve spun-silk tutu decorated in live, caged hummingbirds.

It was hella awkward.

OMG! Smashly has the exact same Tu-Tu!

The silk always smells like death after its been in storage for a few weeks.

[theCryptofishist]

I let all those people wish me happy birthday in the bar thread...