I'm a Dead Horse!...Beat Me!

[catinthefunnyhat]

Oh, no! My dog will pee on the playa. What could be the harm in it?
I plan to sit on that grass, you know. Do you think I'm a savage?

[gyre]

I'm canadian.

After i leave canadia and travel 20,000 kilometres away, how can I find other canadians?

[catinthefunnyhat]

Listen for people saying "aboot." Because that's exactly how Canadianites talk.

[gyre]

How can you tell them from minnesotanites and michiganians?

Anyway, made up name, made up country.
You can't just leave your headlights on all the time and drive on the wrong side of the road and pretend it's a different country.
Doesn't prove a thing.

[Pop_Tart]

Where are the sex camps? And what's the secret code to get entry?

7:45 evidently... all in a row... secret code = "I heard Daft Punk would be playing here tonight."

[CornMan]

I'm looking to join a camp that has only people who are just like me - young, chill, etc.

[junglesmacks]

A staple? Really?

You stapled my tickets?!

[catinthefunnyhat]

DJs are talentless hacks who just press "play" on their machines and then dance around. Look: Skrillex! I heard all these so-called "DJs" were getting free tickets/EA passes/hookers/blow. It's just not fair! I could totally do what they do, but I choose not to debase myself that way/nobody will let me/I don't have the equipment.

[junglesmacks]

On the upside, the world always needs more strippers.

[Lassen Forge]

I have this cool idea - I'm gonna get this huge above ground pool, and get a couple tanker trucks to bring us water to fill it, and we can have a swimming camp. Don't worry, it won't leak, and we won't splash any water out until after the event, when dumping it out on the playa won't matter. Oh yeah, wait until you seel the palm trees I'm having brought in to go around it... Like, it's gonna be the rad camp and shit... 20,000 watts of sound right in the middle of the city - you're gonna love our camp...

[catinthefunnyhat]

Burning Man is rape culture, but not how you think; we're raping Mother Earth! All the camps that aren't my camp are filthy MOOPers! We should all be required to build our own solar panels out of blue-green algae and use them to power all of our lights and cookstoves. We should stop burning things, and all music should be acoustic. MVs should be pushed, pulled, or pedaled. All fossil fuels and petroleum products -- including plastic and Vaseline -- should be banned.





You first.

[AntiM]

I'm writing a term paper and I chose Burning Man because it really speaks to me and can you fill out this survey? The sex questions will be especially helpful.

Don't tell me I won't understand if I don't buy a ticket and actually go to the festival. I'm too young to attend by myself/I'm never going to attend because I need to start my career as a teacher as soon as I graduate/I'm under house arrest for being a pervert and getting caught at it.

[TomServo]

What's the best way to make water disappear?

...and use up half of my cargo space at the same time?

[OregonRed]

So, I'm a vegan, raw food chef, who has never been to Burning Man, and I was hoping to come this year and cook for your theme camp. I don't have a ticket, so you'll need to provide that. And I refuse to cook for eating styles that aren't my own. I also make amazing chocolate and ice sculptures (you provide the chocolate and/or ice). I do a lot of drugs (which I'll need you to provide), so meal times will be sporadic, and I plan to go on a journey to renew my soul, so I might not be in camp at all for several days.

[AntiM]

How many books should I bring so I won't be bored between my 27 volunteer shifts and when the headliners aren't playing?

[wh..sh]

Bacon is made from PIG???!!!




oh shit...

Imagine my surprise when I they told me vegetarian hamburger was made from cow!

[Lonesomebri]

Imagine my surprise when I they told me vegetarian hamburger was made from cow!

Cows are vegetarians, and delicious.

[shykat]

Hate reading my replies? Click here to add me to your plonk (foe) list.

[OregonRed]

Imagine my surprise when I they told me vegetarian hamburger was made from cow!

Cows are vegetarians, and delicious.

+1

[Ugly Dougly]

[Dr Jet Sinister]

Why can't I bring my guns?! I have a CONSTITUTIONAL RIGHT to have my firearm at all times no matter what anyone says! I might have to protect myself from those rapey shirtcockers! I could sue BM out of existence if they don't let me have my gun!

[junglesmacks]

http://eplaya.burningman.org/viewtopic.php?f=56&t=56577

[gyre]

I've eaten dead horse.

Not a favorite though.

[theCryptofishist]

I've been carefully planning all year to make sure that I give birth to my first child on playa and now they're saying that if I'm not careful I might give birth early. Plus, I want to cook my placenta and give out tastes on the street. Why do I have to get a permit from the Department of Health?

[junglesmacks]

<insert redundant, self-deprecating amputee joke here>

[catinthefunnyhat]

I bought a new and very expensive Thing. I plan to take this Thing to the playa. I have never been to Burning Man before, have not read the Survival Guide, and haven't really done much camping. I also don't know much about Things, except that mine is very fancy and expensive and is the latest in Thing technology. Therefore, I have no idea how my Thing will fare under conditions of heat, dust, wind, and the presence of curious, intoxicated people who want to play with it. Nevertheless, I am convinced that my Thing is the very best Thing to take to the playa, and I will fight you to the death if you challenge me on this. What should I do to prevent my Thing from getting broken?

[gyre]

Good one.

Just let an overly enthusiastic drunk handle your sword, gun, etc.
Survive.
Now you're ready for playa crowd control.
Or Thing control.

Not really different on the playa at all, now that I think about it.

[Bob]

Anybody find a Bic lighter under the Man on Tuesday of the 2007 event? Has sentimental value.

In lieu of reward, I'd be happy to use my stash of homemade napalm to light up your front yard for a birthday, anniversary, etc.

Regards,

PA

[Roberto Dobbisano]

does anyone else have a rash after visiting center camp last year?

please post pics.

[H.G.Crosby]

Lets Buy Empire and turn it into a Trader Joes!