The Bar

Sensei · Post by **Sensei** » Mon Oct 04, 2004 12:32 am

* Sensei walks in and immediately hops behind the bar and fixes his own drink *

Hey, anybody got a quarter for the jukebox?

geekster · Post by **geekster** » Mon Oct 04, 2004 1:37 am

here you go (flips a quarter to Sensei) .... there's a new Orb CD in there somewhere.

Sandwichman · Post by **Sandwichman** » Mon Oct 04, 2004 9:50 am

A round of mimosas please...

Good morning all....

Juke will be up and running before to long.

Jason

tisha2 · Post by **tisha2** » Mon Oct 04, 2004 9:59 am

Oooohhhhhh....!!!! GOOD MORNING my friends!!!

My computer monitor at home is not working, so I couldn't come in last night...work is really nuts right now so can't spend much time here during the day...ALSO - I think someone at work is out to get me, my computer crashed first thing this morning and lost BIG work, I haven't gotten any sweet lovin's in a *really* long time, and.....okay, that's it I guess. I'm gonna sit over here with a double shot o Jameson's and wait for the music. Maybe I'll just take the bottle...

Hi, Jason...! It's good to see you.

sigh...

cowboyangel · Post by **cowboyangel** » Mon Oct 04, 2004 10:39 am

big squeeze to you barkeep!

Sandwichman · Post by **Sandwichman** » Mon Oct 04, 2004 11:15 am

The jukebox is up and running. To listen in please click on the following link http://www.shoutcast.com/sbin/shoutcast ... lename.pls

Let me know when you like the tunes and don't like them it will help me to load the juke a little better.

Jason

buckethead alien · Post by **buckethead alien** » Mon Oct 04, 2004 11:16 am

Hey! Our A-Number-One bartender's back! All wholesome an' shit from a weekend in the woods. Heh heh.

stuart · Post by **stuart** » Mon Oct 04, 2004 11:31 am

one pitcher of

sweet lovin's

for the barkeep

with a smooch back

Simply Joel · Post by **Simply Joel** » Mon Oct 04, 2004 11:32 am

i am looking forward to a nice smooth single malt scotch and a Guiness... it has been a Monday, all day.

DVD Burner · Post by **DVD Burner** » Mon Oct 04, 2004 11:34 am

Would it be ok if I ordered 2 drinks for Joel and Isotopia please?

They need one for ig wrestling with me.

Thank you.

Simply Joel · Post by **Simply Joel** » Mon Oct 04, 2004 11:45 am

DVD Burner wrote:Would it be ok if I ordered 2 drinks for Joel and Isotopia please?

no thank you.

and now something colorful and completely different

Man Mistakenly Cuts Off Penis, Dog Eats It

Mon Oct 4,10:41 AM ET

BUCHAREST (Reuters) - A elderly Romanian man mistook his penis for a chicken's neck, cut it off and his dog rushed up and ate it, the state Rompres news agency said Monday.

It said 67 year-old Constantin Mocanu, from a village near the southeastern town of Galati, rushed out into his yard in his underwear to kill a noisy chicken keeping him awake at night.

"I confused it with the chicken's neck," Mocanu, who was admitted to the emergency hospital in Galati, was quoted as saying. "I cut it ... and the dog rushed and ate it."

Doctors said the man, who was brought in by an ambulance bleeding heavily, was now out of danger.

tisha2 · Post by **tisha2** » Mon Oct 04, 2004 11:48 am

Thanks for the lovin's, guys!!!!! Amazing what virtual squeezes & smooches can do!!

Nice tunes, too...! Perfect daytime lounge music...makes me want a martini for lunch...

Here's a scotch and guiness for Joel, who seems to by in my boat today...wait - just notice previous post...gonna read it now...

tisha2 · Post by **tisha2** » Mon Oct 04, 2004 11:51 am

okay - that man is by far having a worse day than any of us....in his honor, how about a round of...(sorry, can't help myself) Blowjobs!!!!

Kahlua & Baily's topped with whipped cream, and you can't use your hands when you drink it!!

OH! I *adore* this song.....!!

Sandwichman · Post by **Sandwichman** » Mon Oct 04, 2004 11:51 am

Man Mistakenly Cuts Off Penis, Dog Eats It

Mon Oct 4,10:41 AM ET

BUCHAREST (Reuters) - A elderly Romanian man mistook his penis for a chicken's neck, cut it off and his dog rushed up and ate it, the state Rompres news agency said Monday.

It said 67 year-old Constantin Mocanu, from a village near the southeastern town of Galati, rushed out into his yard in his underwear to kill a noisy chicken keeping him awake at night.

"I confused it with the chicken's neck," Mocanu, who was admitted to the emergency hospital in Galati, was quoted as saying. "I cut it ... and the dog rushed and ate it."

Doctors said the man, who was brought in by an ambulance bleeding heavily, was now out of danger.

Okay how the fuck did this man wearing underwear let his little man wander onto the chopping block near the chicken to where it could be confused. I think he was trying some kinky necrophiliac(sp?) chicken sex and fucked up and then chop it was gone. I bet he fed it to the dog in fear of them finding traces of chicken on it and calling him on it.

Jason

tisha2 · Post by **tisha2** » Mon Oct 04, 2004 11:53 am

:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

oh, shit...I'm crying!!!!!!!! I'm gonna lose my job for sure!!!!!!! Oh. shit!

DVD Burner · Post by **DVD Burner** » Mon Oct 04, 2004 11:53 am

aw man,

I hope joel is'nt mad at me?

If it makes Joel feel any better I dont care much for Kerry either.

1 Shirley Temple for me thank you.

(I'm a light weight.)

My p keeps getting stuck.

Sandwichman · Post by **Sandwichman** » Mon Oct 04, 2004 11:55 am

tisha2 wrote:

oh, shit...I'm crying!!!!!!!! I'm gonna lose my job for sure!!!!!!! Oh. shit!

I will hire you as a personal bartender and then pay you with my unemployment checks. It will work I tell ya.

Jason

tisha2 · Post by **tisha2** » Mon Oct 04, 2004 11:56 am

I'll take it!!!! Do you offer childcare??

DVD Burner · Post by **DVD Burner** » Mon Oct 04, 2004 12:00 pm

Sandwichman wrote:
Okay how the fuck did this man wearing underwear let his little man wander onto the chopping block near the chicken to where it could be confused. I think he was trying some kinky necrophiliac(sp?) chicken sex and fucked up and then chop it was gone. I bet he fed it to the dog in fear of them finding traces of chicken on it and calling him on it.

Jason

necrophilia is sex with dead people. I think what you were looking for was beastiality

Sandwichman · Post by **Sandwichman** » Mon Oct 04, 2004 12:01 pm

tisha2 wrote:I'll take it!!!! Do you offer childcare??

Only if you are willing to watch my son. The benefits are shady we only offer one doctor he lives next door and is name Mikail and he only owns one scapal and a pair of tweezers but he is a damn fine surgeon. As for dental we offer the "door and string" program for youths and "hammer and nail" for adults. 401k I can pledge to drop 25% of the pay i skim into a bucket and once a week take it to the dog tracks and if I win big I wil split it. So do I have a new employee. Oh I almost forgot the best benefit, MY ASS.

Jason

buckethead alien · Post by **buckethead alien** » Mon Oct 04, 2004 12:01 pm

DVD Burner wrote:
Sandwichman wrote:
Okay how the fuck did this man wearing underwear let his little man wander onto the chopping block near the chicken to where it could be confused. I think he was trying some kinky necrophiliac(sp?) chicken sex and fucked up and then chop it was gone. I bet he fed it to the dog in fear of them finding traces of chicken on it and calling him on it.

Jason
necrophilia is sex with dead people. I think what you were looking for was beastiality

You're all animals.

Give me a beer right about now.

Sandwichman · Post by **Sandwichman** » Mon Oct 04, 2004 12:02 pm

DVD Burner wrote:
Sandwichman wrote:
Okay how the fuck did this man wearing underwear let his little man wander onto the chopping block near the chicken to where it could be confused. I think he was trying some kinky necrophiliac(sp?) chicken sex and fucked up and then chop it was gone. I bet he fed it to the dog in fear of them finding traces of chicken on it and calling him on it.

Jason
necrophilia is sex with dead people. I think what you were looking for was beastiality

I was looking for necrophilia because I think he was trying to kill the chicken while finding some way to get it on. So a kind of Necro-beastiallity I guess.

DVD Burner · Post by **DVD Burner** » Mon Oct 04, 2004 12:05 pm

Necro-beastiallity?

Hummmmm,

I see a new thread.

Sandwichman · Post by **Sandwichman** » Mon Oct 04, 2004 12:07 pm

DVD Burner wrote:Necro-beastiallity?

Hummmmm,

I see a new thread.

The guy did get caught with his little man chopped off while claiming to attempt to be killing a chicken. Highly feasible here.

Jason

DVD Burner · Post by **DVD Burner** » Mon Oct 04, 2004 12:09 pm

Man,

his thingie must have looked pretty ugly to mix it up with a chicken neck huh?

Sandwichman · Post by **Sandwichman** » Mon Oct 04, 2004 12:12 pm

DVD Burner wrote:Man,

his thingie must have looked pretty ugly to mix it up with a chicken neck huh?

Especially if the chicken was not already de-feathered.

I think this calls for a special round of shots......

A CHICKEN WITH LIPS

1/2 oz. Wild Turkey
1/2 oz. Bacardi 151 Proof Rum
1/2 oz. Rumple Minze

Mix and shoot

Jason

Sandwichman · Post by **Sandwichman** » Mon Oct 04, 2004 12:13 pm

Oh Tisha this song just screams to you. It is going to be your song for a while.

Jason

DVD Burner · Post by **DVD Burner** » Mon Oct 04, 2004 12:14 pm

Now that I think of it.........he must have been pretty long too.

I dont want to think much more about this anymore. I will have nightmares tonight.

Simply Joel · Post by **Simply Joel** » Mon Oct 04, 2004 12:15 pm

DVD Burner wrote:Man,

his thingie must have looked pretty ugly to mix it up with a chicken neck huh?

since you had to bring it up... i think the phrase "morning wood" might apply... chicken necks have bones and are therefore stiff...

and although my penis is magnificent to view... all and all, most penises aren't much to look at.

and to paraphrase... it isn't the size (in this case, appearance) of the wand, it is the magic you make with it...

Sandwichman · Post by **Sandwichman** » Mon Oct 04, 2004 12:17 pm

Simply Joel wrote:and to paraphrase... it isn't the size (in this case, appearance) of the wand, it is the magic you make with it...

The woman that told you that lied