Top Asshats of 2012

[fresh]

The naked guy that climbed to the top/center of the base of The Man on maybe Thursday. Totally harshed my mellow, yo. Everyone was screaming at him to stop. Thank god for quality construction -- he was literally hanging off a single piece of decorative wood at the very top. Would have fallen if it'd broken. We GFTO cause we didnt feel like seeing someone die, but we stayed outside long enough to see that they'd talked him down and someone was checking his vitals.

They actually had it open on Sunday to climb up. There were a number of people climbing up and this guy with a fear of heights had help in getting the nerve to climb it. It was one of my highlights of the year since they closed it the next day. It was pretty wobbly up there on the top spire, but safe as those decorative wood was actually quite supportive.

As far as asshats of the year, that guy who said he'd bring wine to the M & G and was a complete no-show. Oh wait that was me. Sorry kids, I'll have to meet y'all next year!! I'll skip the roller derby next time.

[Roberto Dobbisano]

yes, we too had a semi naked lunatic who climbed to the top of our 44' dome on 2 stories of scaff, and proceeded to wiggle his wing wang at the crowd below.

after repeated warnings that we would "cut it off" if he didnt get down (we would have tried pulling him off but were concerned we would cave the dome in with the weight), he finally wised up and climbed down and out and shuffled out towards deep playa after much verbal abuse.


oh the places you'll go, and the things you will see...

[Ever]

Sixth burn since 2003. I hate to complain, but this guy won my Jerk Award ribbon and reminded me how crummy a person can be amongst an otherwise-awesome group of people.

You took my handicapped friend's water. In the desert. After we said no.

We partied and watched the sun rise. We were at Disco Knights afterwards, which is across the event from where our supplies/camp were. Thursday-Friday was a warm night, and my handicapped friend somehow made it through with us and was still braving the 11:00am heat.

You and your lazy jerk buddy were trying to siphon water from DK's mist-fan away from the crowd and into your jerk water bottle. You asked me for a pin, so I sleepily gave you my mustache pin, afterwhich I realized you were going to poke it through the not-your-mist-hose.

You then asked for the water bottle in my friend's handicapped-approved golf cart. I said it wasn't mine and couldn't permit it. You asked again, and I repeated myself. You asked again, so I turned around and asked if he'd lend his only water to this jerk. He said he'd prefer not to. I turned around and you were walking off with it. My friend yelled because, you know, he's handicapped and couldn't follow you. You then stuck a dusty, dirty, not-your-mist-hose into my handicapped friend's only water. In the desert.

I had to take the bottle out of your jerk hands and listen to you rage about how you "asked." Why ask if you won't respect the answer? I meant it then and I mean it now: f-you. The jerkstore called, and they're out of YOU!

[Gunslinger]

Yep, we take bribes at Ice3, and whoever brought the Jameson, thank you we loved it.

[TomServo]

If you're gonna bribe the ice folks, just make sure you bribe everyone else in front of you. Or you may have to bribe someone to fix your bicycle.

[maryanimal]

...

[piehole]

That's interesting Piehole, I worked three Ice-3 shifts this year and had at least one Bribe of alcohol per shift, but usually it is a request of the Penguins not someone in line. So I'm not sure if that counts the same. More of a fee for line hopping than a bribe, being the crews request not someones attempt to be lazy.

Only asshat I can think of at the moment AntiM already mentioned of someone running over a sawhorse that was covering Re-bar in our camp. Many more Asshats since getting back to Defaultia make you forget the minor ones from TTITD

Well shit. I guess it depends on who you're working with and how lame/burner you're willing to be. I'd rather not take a bribe because that's an ideal I stand by in the default world that I think translates to the burnersphere.

I'm good with what I did and how I handled it. That's all that matters to me.

[lucky420]

at least make sure the pushers get some of the bribes and or swag that comes in...

those fuckers work hard

[CornMan]

Asshats I saw this year: people in art cars who play inappropriate music very loudly when they visit art installations on the deep playa that detracts from the feeling one would otherwise get from the art. For example, somebody played very upbeat disco at the wind chime/windmill thing made from cans and bottles. The haunting din of the whistling cans was completely overwhelmed by the disco beats. I made a point to wait around for them to leave in order to experience the sound like the artist probably intended, but it took like a half hour for them to finally get in the vehicle and leave. If you're going to play music at art installations, maybe try to make it match what you'd interpret to be the intended mood? For instance, The Lonely Bull by Herb Alpert could go fine with the big bull statue. A sea chanty would go great with The Pier II, etc.

[fresh]

Yes it was that double decker art car, name is on the tip of my tongue and of course starts with "black rock" who was blaming music driving down A street at 8am Tuesday. Besides not allowed to play shit music that loud, they were not suppose to be driving on A. I gave them a piece of my mind......

[TomServo]

at least make sure the pushers get some of the bribes and or swag that comes in...

those fuckers work hard

YEAH!

[tattoogoddess]

and look fucking hot doing it. Uba uba!!

[theCryptofishist]

We use orange trash fence. Success varies... And we got a bike as moop...

was it a blue schwinn with a black basket on the rear rack and tent lamp as a bike lite found around point 4 and the frog pond?
perhaps on Wednesday or thursday?

I got it 2010 for a Gate exodus shift
and it was lost by trusting a noob to strap it down right on his toyota RV.

It probably isnt the bike-
there was only like 4ooo bikes all over the Playa still even past thursday there was piles of bike shaped moopage.

3 just off Esplanade. Someone saw the mooper, told him it was our camp and, if I recall correctly, he moved it over the orange trash fence. One wheel was broken.

[piehole]

at least make sure the pushers get some of the bribes and or swag that comes in...

those fuckers work hard

oh i did. graidawg gave me one mission, to get him a PBR. while i didn't get him an ACTUAL PBR, one amazing virgin went all the way back to his camp, grabbed a coor's original, covered the damn thing in masking tape and drew a makeshift PBR logo on it. best fucking PBR i've ever shared with another man

[devilgrrl]

This douche http://eplaya.burningman.org/memberlist ... le&u=23598

[Savannah]

at least make sure the pushers get some of the bribes and or swag that comes in...

those fuckers work hard

oh i did. graidawg gave me one mission, to get him a PBR. while i didn't get him an ACTUAL PBR, one amazing virgin went all the way back to his camp, grabbed a coor's original, covered the damn thing in masking tape and drew a makeshift PBR logo on it. best fucking PBR i've ever shared with another man

That is so @#$% cute.

I love people.

[TomServo]

at least make sure the pushers get some of the bribes and or swag that comes in...

those fuckers work hard

oh i did. graidawg gave me one mission, to get him a PBR. while i didn't get him an ACTUAL PBR, one amazing virgin went all the way back to his camp, grabbed a coor's original, covered the damn thing in masking tape and drew a makeshift PBR logo on it. best fucking PBR i've ever shared with another man

Hey! Grai was only a slinger that shift! You didn't hear us in the trailer, threatening to strike if we didn't get shots?

[junglesmacks]

at least make sure the pushers get some of the bribes and or swag that comes in...

those fuckers work hard

oh i did. graidawg gave me one mission, to get him a PBR. while i didn't get him an ACTUAL PBR, one amazing virgin went all the way back to his camp, grabbed a coor's original, covered the damn thing in masking tape and drew a makeshift PBR logo on it. best fucking PBR i've ever shared with another man

Hey! Grai was only a slinger that shift! You didn't hear us in the trailer, threatening to strike if we didn't get shots?

Shots of what for you.. apple juice?

[TomServo]

Yeah..um..apple juice

I graduated

[David M]

Our camp was having a great week until this ASSHAT strolled into our camp and ruined our entire burn.....

[TomServo]

Our camp was having a great week until this ASSHAT strolled into our camp and ruined our entire burn.....

I'm flattered!

[ygmir]

Our camp was having a great week until this ASSHAT strolled into our camp and ruined our entire burn.....

I'm flattered!

Our camp was having a great week until this ASSHAT strolled into our camp and ruined our entire burn.....

hey that linked to my page...........
dang

[Bob]

It's recursive.

[ygmir]

It's recursive.

it could be a compound bow, and still stab my heart the same.

[illy dilly]

That's interesting Piehole, I worked three Ice-3 shifts this year and had at least one Bribe of alcohol per shift, but usually it is a request of the Penguins not someone in line.

at least make sure the pushers get some of the bribes and or swag that comes in...

those fuckers work hard

oh i did. graidawg gave me one mission, to get him a PBR. while i didn't get him an ACTUAL PBR, one amazing virgin went all the way back to his camp, grabbed a coor's original, covered the damn thing in masking tape and drew a makeshift PBR logo on it. best fucking PBR i've ever shared with another man

I know! What the hell was going on this year?
I walked out of each of my ice shifts almost sober! I expect to stumble out of the back of the truck!

[piehole]

at least make sure the pushers get some of the bribes and or swag that comes in...

those fuckers work hard

oh i did. graidawg gave me one mission, to get him a PBR. while i didn't get him an ACTUAL PBR, one amazing virgin went all the way back to his camp, grabbed a coor's original, covered the damn thing in masking tape and drew a makeshift PBR logo on it. best fucking PBR i've ever shared with another man

Hey! Grai was only a slinger that shift! You didn't hear us in the trailer, threatening to strike if we didn't get shots?

I came back there with a flask of tequila someone gave me and I offered it up but I think you all were too busy being buff-guys to notice. So Airport Mayor and I shared a shot, and someone else too. I think it was J-Boogie. AAHHHHHHH LETS GO BACK

[piehole]

So what's the consensus, if I bark the line again next year during the ePlaya shift, should I or should I NOT accept bribes?

[Tanzremix]

Yep, we take bribes at Ice3, and whoever brought the Jameson, thank you we loved it.

I don't know if it was us, but yes we dropped a couple bottles at Ice3 (and 9) this week, complements of the Janky Barge

So what's the consensus, if I bark the line again next year during the ePlaya shift, should I or should I NOT accept bribes?

You didn't accept our bribe one day, but it was ok, the nice people at the counter did.

[illy dilly]

So what's the consensus, if I bark the line again next year during the ePlaya shift, should I or should I NOT accept bribes?

I honestly don't know. I suppose so.
I've never worked on that side of the counter. I always figured the booze came from people 'donating' it to help fuel the machine.

I always bring at least 3 beers (or canned alcoholic beverage) when I buy ice not on shift. 1 for my cashier, 1 for my slinger, and 1 for a pusher.

AAHHHHHHH LETS GO BACK

OK! I'm ready!
Just need to hit the grocery and booze stores.

[piehole]

You didn't accept our bribe one day, but it was ok, the nice people at the counter did.

I don't remember being offered Jameson on Tuesday but if that was the case, it may have been a bribe I'd have been willing to take