Alright, let's hear the best and worst from 2012

[SaritaSyrah]

Just be glad humans don't have dick bones.

Oh, for that I am SO glad. (every now and then sad...but usually glad)

[FIGJAM]

It cums and goes.

[piehole]

BEST:

not having penis bones

[SaritaSyrah]

BEST:

not having penis bones

Best: Not having a penis.

[piehole]

Best: Not having a penis.

i dunno man, having a peen is pretty damn convenient most of the time

[grenadine]

Best: having boobs.

[piehole]

dammit, grenadine

[ygmir]

pics or they're not real!!!

[maladroit]

They're real, and they're spectacular!

(Disclaimer: I have not verified this for myself, I just always wanted to use that line.)

[Eric]

I do have friends with both boobs & a peen, so they probably win this argument.

[maladroit]

Both, or neither? Now there's a deep question.

[clocksnmirrors]

i dunno man, having a peen is pretty damn convenient most of the time

amen brother

i never leave home without mine!

[Foxfur]

I do have friends with both boobs & a peen, so they probably win this argument.

I love a good buffet!

[clocksnmirrors]

I do have friends with both boobs & a peen, so they probably win this argument.

I love a good buffet!

you win eplaya for the day

[Lonesomebri]

I do have friends with both boobs & a peen, so they probably win this argument.

if this was me, I'd have no reason to leave the house.

[MyPlayaUserName]

Worst:

I drove 1150 miles alone from Taos, New Mexico. Left a day later than planned, so I really pushed it with the driving, 13 hours the first day, and the remainder the second day (Monday 8/27). I get through Gerlach, cry tears of joy on that last 9 miles before the turn off, and am blown away by the zero line, quick and easy entry. I get to Will Call, and there's hardly any line, and my low income ticket is THERE.

THEN I get to the "Greeters". And basically my entire world/burn was taken away right there. The first dude is friendly, doing the check. I'm excited, it's my 6th burn, I know the drill. Then this dude, who I can no longer even picture, says "don't let him in". I think he is being sarcastic, joshing me so to speak. He then repeats it, and tells me (and remember these essentially are the first words spoken to me by a 'greeter' after a long, tiring, hungry, painful drive) "You're not coming to Burning Man. You're taking that shit back to Reno, or you're not coming to Burning Man this year".

I am baffled. What shit? Well, on my roof I had brought wooden polls, not unlike those you would find on a tipi (many of which reside on the playa). I brought these polls as building materials. i usually do my shade structures with PVC, but I liver in a remote area, am on a budget, and the PVC usually has to be broken in take down, making shards of moop, so my friend let me use these 8 to 11 foot polls as the bones for my structure. I had built the entire thing prior at my home in Taos, to test it, Anyway, according to my greeter, ONE of the polls had bark on it. They were bundled in the middle, but not on the sides as I didn't think I was hiding them. An exposed side had bark which he felt would flake when the polls were unravelled from the tarp. He kept telling me to go back to Reno and dump my trash if I wanted to come in (I did not even come through Reno, incidentally).

He sent me to two other people, presumably to escort me out. At this point, I was shaking, and teary eyed. I've undergone a long recovery, and the drive for me was very difficult. And honestly, I had never even for a second imagined this scenario, of arriving at Burning Man and being yelled at to leave for bringing 'moop'. I was torn bc on the one hand I DID feel a fool for not recognizing that the bark would be considered moop as a seasoned burner, but on the other hand, the greeter's delivery was fucking cruel. Like a mall cop. He was unbending and mean to a person who had just come 'home'. It was honestly devestating to have my home tell me to get the fuck out. I didnt bring a stow away. I wasnt covered in glitter. I brought fucking wood to Burning Man! Show me ANY wood, that when bundled with other wood, doesnt have the potential to flake or splinter! I have the utmost respect for this event as someone who drives over a thousand miles to camp by himself and just be there. This just felt like straight up abuse. Like I had gotten past all the law enforcement I feared so, only to then have Burning Man be the one to single me out.

The people who were meant to escort me out saw my pain, Morover, I honestly felt like I had to put on a show, highlighting my patheticness, in order to keep from being forced to drive out and then in again. I just couldnt physically do that. Leave Burning Man after the drive. I was exhausted, hungry, and emotionally bruised, not to mention I really spent it all on the way to BRC, and knew the main way I would definitely be able to make it home was the money coming into my account on the first of the month. I could not have afforded to leave and come back, it was not possible. All of my resources had been spent getting me to that instant of rejection.

The thing is as a resonable person, I am willing to say ok, apparently I made a mistake with the wood. But the treatment from the beaurocracy of burning man was SO not warranted. We need to be embracing our citizens, not sending them away. We are problem solvers.
The two 'escort me out' people finally caved in after my oral report on what Burning Man means to me, and agreed to HELP me find a way to stay. The final agreement was that if I wrapped up both exposed ends of the sticks with my additional tarps (meant to be used for shade) and agreed to never unbundle it on the playa, and told the greeters where I would be camped so they could check, then I could go in. Of course I agreed and frantically dug through my car to get the tarps out and get my ass into BRC. In the process, some fabric from last year's burn blew a bit of playa dust out on me and they started up with 'that is mooping too!" and I kinda freaked and was like "THAT IS PLAYA DUST FROM LAST YEAR COME ON".
After an hour or so, I was in. Of course, then it hit me that my entire home I had planned was not going to be built. It was like, I got in, but now I was totally unprepared and blown out of the water. If I am honest, there was a slight air of 'well i just got beaten and raped' about the whole thing. Like 'sure you can go in now, that you have no shade or shelter, enjoy your burn!'.

The worst is really that I let this negativity affect my entire burn. I never had my own zone to escape to, which is something I treasure highly there, and therefore ffelt out of my element, and unrelaxed. I've never not had my own outdoor shaded area, I would never plan to do so. every day i would return to my half assed camop and be reminded of that moment when I went from elation to devestation. I've been alone in my small town so long, all I wanted was some social interaction, and a klind welcome to the place I had come to know as my home. But this didnt feel like my home this time. It felt like a typical party where the guy at the door has some power and abuses it. I dont want to play a victim but it felt like this guy looked at me and judged me the minute i arrived, and this is everything i go to burning man to escape.

The Best:

The best is everything I got out of the experience. Because I am stronger now. I am definitely seeing a pattern where the universe is sending me pretty extreme adversity, and I am seeing that I need to develop the strength to not let people attacking me, or just barking dogs, hurt me. What that gate guy did was not right but me letting it blow my trip out of the water was not right either. At the same time, I am a believer from experience in not supressing my emotions. I think I had damn good right to be upset, and while it is Burning Man and nobody wants to be bummed out, the reality was this happened and I needed to work through it and discuss it. But after all is said and done I feel tremendously strengthened by the experience. I found the citizens of BRC to be as wonderful as ever. Beautiful art, particularly the 3d Black light painting alley thing...that was AMAZING. And I know deep down that Burning Man always throws me a curve ball to help me grow. So afterwards I look back on it all fondly, but at the time, damn, this was a rough burn!

Oh other surprising BEST: So that afternoon I arrived, well I was so frazzled after all that went on at the gate, that I ended up making my SECOND rookie mistake of the year (first being bringing the bark i suppose), and while setting up my tent, I caught my shin on one of the stakes...it hardly hurt, but just the right angle and BAM...I have to go to the medic, where I get 8 stitches and a tetnis shot. FYI, I am normally terified of western medicine...That whole first day was SO UNEXPECTED. A bit of a nightmare, but I list this under best bc in all my years on the playa I had never had to see the medics before and WOW, they are incredible. And knowing we are in such capable hands out there was really impressive. And knowing its free. I really appreciate the medics and the good, sober work they are doing. It was an EXCELLENT experience with Western medicine and I'd rather go to the doctor on the playa than anywhere else.

Oh and other bests: Singing REPTAR REPTAR GOTTA FIND THAT REPTAR with strangers, and the entire temple burn night up until the no food, lots of alcohol, and mushrooms caught up with me.

[graidawg]

THE BEST SO FAR

KNOWING ALL OF YOU

THE WORST

..... DEFAULTIA

[Bob]

Well, the bark thing is a rule, and for good reason wrt the moop potential, but I'd concede you may have gotten rougher treatment than was warranted if any loose bark could have been removed over a tarp and bagged up. Peeled saplings are typical for teepee poles.

Glad to hear they're attentive at Greeters, but it should have gotten attention at Gate. And I thought the side lot at the Gate was the place for impounding things they don't like to let in the city.

[EspressoDude]

The wood that is supplied by the org for bonfires, and loading into large art pieces like the Trojan Horse (2011) to enhance the fire has bark on it.

[BBadger]

THEN I get to the "Greeters". And basically my entire world/burn was taken away right there. The first dude is friendly, doing the check. I'm excited, it's my 6th burn, I know the drill. Then this dude, who I can no longer even picture, says "don't let him in". I think he is being sarcastic, joshing me so to speak. He then repeats it, and tells me (and remember these essentially are the first words spoken to me by a 'greeter' after a long, tiring, hungry, painful drive) "You're not coming to Burning Man. You're taking that shit back to Reno, or you're not coming to Burning Man this year".

I am baffled. What shit? Well, on my roof I had brought wooden polls, not unlike those you would find on a tipi (many of which reside on the playa). I brought these polls as building materials. i usually do my shade structures with PVC, but I liver in a remote area, am on a budget, and the PVC usually has to be broken in take down, making shards of moop, so my friend let me use these 8 to 11 foot polls as the bones for my structure. I had built the entire thing prior at my home in Taos, to test it, Anyway, according to my greeter, ONE of the polls had bark on it. They were bundled in the middle, but not on the sides as I didn't think I was hiding them. An exposed side had bark which he felt would flake when the polls were unravelled from the tarp. He kept telling me to go back to Reno and dump my trash if I wanted to come in (I did not even come through Reno, incidentally).

I guess you should've been so lucky if you had ran into the "greeters" our car ran into--who didn't even realize (or I should say, didn't care) that there was a car pulled up near their station. Good that the MOOP was caught, but a bit more discretion, and less knee-jerk would've made the situation a lot better. If you were unwilling to part-with or prevent usage of those poles, that could've been a different situation, but a reaction on par with discovering stowaways (who deserve no modicum of mercy) was a bit much.

While the gate should've been the one to catch the MOOP, I never knew that the greeters had any power to deny entry or anything short of just greeting people and giving out the paper media. The greeters just seem more like a volunteer squad that are really just there to give BM more flavor when you enter. The greeters this year just seemed "off"

[Lonesomebri]

Worst: "You're not coming to Burning Man. You're taking that shit back to Reno, or you're not coming to Burning Man this year".

You're not as cute and "artistic" as Chicken feather girl, are you? Don't you get it? You were using those poles for shelter, not preening like a wanking giant cock, impressing the feebs in the crowd. Heck, I'd bet the farm, unlike you, she wasn't struggling with tarps and stakes and public porta potties and the cost of a ticket either. Eventually though, you found your way in, you were greeted at the gate search, searched by the greeters, and stiched by the meds. I brought in some long 10 foot tree branches for shelter support also, but no flaking bark, but even there I wondered about the tips, scraped off branch nubs, worried about the call on them being "plant material". I'm under no illusion that anywhere is going to greet me unchallenged.

[CornMan]

If I was the greeter or somebody whose jurisdiction actually includes scrutiny of MOOP producing materials, and the bark really concerned me, I'd allow you to wrap the questionable parts of your poles with duct tape and allow you to set up your shade. Maybe the dust got to people this year and cause them to behave like elementary school cafeteria monitors.

[ygmir]

Worst:

I drove 1150 miles alone from Taos, New Mexico. Left a day later than planned, so I really pushed it with the driving, 13 hours the first day, and the remainder the second day (Monday 8/27). I get through Gerlach, cry tears of joy on that last 9 miles before the turn off, and am blown away by the zero line, quick and easy entry. I get to Will Call, and there's hardly any line, and my low income ticket is THERE.

THEN I get to the "Greeters". And basically my entire world/burn was taken away right there. The f irst dudeis friendly, doing the check. I'm excited, it's my 6th burn, I know the drill. Then this dude, who I can no longer even picture, says "don't let him in". I think he is being sarcastic, joshing me so to speak. He then repeats it, and tells me (and remember these essentially are the first words spoken to me by a 'greeter' after a long, tiring, hungry, painful drive) "You're not coming to Burning Man. You're taking that shit back to Reno, or you're not coming to Burning Man this year".

I am baffled. What shit? Well, on my roof I had brought wooden polls, not unlike those you would find on a tipi (many of which reside on the playa). I brought these polls as building materials. i usually do my shade structures with PVC, but I liver in a remote area, am on a budget, and the PVC usually has to be broken in take down, making shards of moop, so my friend let me use these 8 to 11 foot polls as the bones for my structure. I had built the entire thing prior at my home in Taos, to test it, Anyway, according to my greeter, ONE of the polls had bark on it. They were bundled in the middle, but not on the sides as I didn't think I was hiding them. An exposed side had bark which he felt would flake when the polls were unravelled from the tarp. He kept telling me to go back to Reno and dump my trash if I wanted to come in (I did not even come through Reno, incidentally).

He sent me to two other people, (D lot?) presumably to escort me out. At this point, I was shaking, and teary eyed. I've undergone a long recovery, and the drive for me was very difficult. And honestly, I had never even for a second imagined this scenario, of arriving at Burning Man and being yelled at to leave for bringing 'moop'. I was torn bc on the one hand I DID feel a fool for not recognizing that the bark would be considered moop as a seasoned burner, but on the other hand, the greeter's delivery was fucking cruel. Like a mall cop. He was unbending and mean to a person who had just come 'home'. It was honestly devestating to have my home tell me to get the fuck out. I didnt bring a stow away. I wasnt covered in glitter. I brought fucking wood to Burning Man! Show me ANY wood, that when bundled with other wood, doesnt have the potential to flake or splinter! I have the utmost respect for this event as someone who drives over a thousand miles to camp by himself and just be there. This just felt like straight up abuse. Like I had gotten past all the law enforcement I feared so, only to then have Burning Man be the one to single me out.

The people who were meant to escort me out saw my pain, Morover, I honestly felt like I had to put on a show, highlighting my patheticness, in order to keep from being forced to drive out and then in again. I just couldnt physically do that. Leave Burning Man after the drive. I was exhausted, hungry, and emotionally bruised, not to mention I really spent it all on the way to BRC, and knew the main way I would definitely be able to make it home was the money coming into my account on the first of the month. I could not have afforded to leave and come back, it was not possible. All of my resources had been spent getting me to that instant of rejection.

The thing is as a resonable person, I am willing to say ok, apparently I made a mistake with the wood. But the treatment from the beaurocracy of burning man was SO not warranted. We need to be embracing our citizens, not sending them away. We are problem solvers.
The two 'escort me out' people finally caved in after my oral report on what Burning Man means to me, and agreed to HELP me find a way to stay. The final agreement was that if I wrapped up both exposed ends of the sticks with my additional tarps (meant to be used for shade) and agreed to never unbundle it on the playa, and told the greeters where I would be camped so they could check, then I could go in. Of course I agreed and frantically dug through my car to get the tarps out and get my ass into BRC. In the process, some fabric from last year's burn blew a bit of playa dust out on me and they started up with 'that is mooping too!" and I kinda freaked and was like "THAT IS PLAYA DUST FROM LAST YEAR COME ON".
After an hour or so, I was in. Of course, then it hit me that my entire home I had planned was not going to be built. It was like, I got in, but now I was totally unprepared and blown out of the water. If I am honest, there was a slight air of 'well i just got beaten and raped' about the whole thing. Like 'sure you can go in now, that you have no shade or shelter, enjoy your burn!'.

The worst is really that I let this negativity affect my entire burn. I never had my own zone to escape to, which is something I treasure highly there, and therefore ffelt out of my element, and unrelaxed. I've never not had my own outdoor shaded area, I would never plan to do so. every day i would return to my half assed camop and be reminded of that moment when I went from elation to devestation. I've been alone in my small town so long, all I wanted was some social interaction, and a klind welcome to the place I had come to know as my home. But this didnt feel like my home this time. It felt like a typical party where the guy at the door has some power and abuses it. I dont want to play a victim but it felt like this guy looked at me and judged me the minute i arrived, and this is everything i go to burning man to escape.

The Best:

The best is everything I got out of the experience. Because I am stronger now. I am definitely seeing a pattern where the universe is sending me pretty extreme adversity, and I am seeing that I need to develop the strength to not let people attacking me, or just barking dogs, hurt me. What that gate guy did was not right but me letting it blow my trip out of the water was not right either. At the same time, I am a believer from experience in not supressing my emotions. I think I had damn good right to be upset, and while it is Burning Man and nobody wants to be bummed out, the reality was this happened and I needed to work through it and discuss it. But after all is said and done I feel tremendously strengthened by the experience. I found the citizens of BRC to be as wonderful as ever. Beautiful art, particularly the 3d Black light painting alley thing...that was AMAZING. And I know deep down that Burning Man always throws me a curve ball to help me grow. So afterwards I look back on it all fondly, but at the time, damn, this was a rough burn!

Oh other surprising BEST: So that afternoon I arrived, well I was so frazzled after all that went on at the gate, that I ended up making my SECOND rookie mistake of the year (first being bringing the bark i suppose), and while setting up my tent, I caught my shin on one of the stakes...it hardly hurt, but just the right angle and BAM...I have to go to the medic, where I get 8 stitches and a tetnis shot. FYI, I am normally terified of western medicine...That whole first day was SO UNEXPECTED. A bit of a nightmare, but I list this under best bc in all my years on the playa I had never had to see the medics before and WOW, they are incredible. And knowing we are in such capable hands out there was really impressive. And knowing its free. I really appreciate the medics and the good, sober work they are doing. It was an EXCELLENT experience with Western medicine and I'd rather go to the doctor on the playa than anywhere else.

Oh and other bests: Singing REPTAR REPTAR GOTTA FIND THAT REPTAR with strangers, and the entire temple burn night up until the no food, lots of alcohol, and mushrooms caught up with me.

I'm thinking, due maybe to altered memory from fatigue and emotion, or something, the he's confusing gate with greeters.
He mentions his first stop being will call, and second being "greeters. Also "the check", which does not take place at greeters.


Note the colored statements. (green is me).
but also, he still tried, and succeeded in "gaming" by playing up his distress, for sympathy. And, he got it, in the help to cover the ends and not moop bark.

There is no other option with those poles, than to be instructed to take them away from the playa (Reno, whatever). He could then clean them and return. But, the bark is a real concern, and a valid point of "get rid of it, or be denied entry".
Gate does not confiscate anything, and, do not "store" things which are disallowed, they must be taken to a proper location, which is not on the playa, or by the roadside.
I'd say the folks who helped him "problem solve" the pole situation went above and beyond, in being sympathetic. It is well within protocol, to just send him out to deal with his moopy stuff......and make no mistake, barky, small wood teepee poles are moopy.

[ygmir]

If I was the greeter or somebody whose jurisdiction actually includes scrutiny of MOOP producing materials, and the bark really concerned me, I'd allow you to wrap the questionable parts of your poles with duct tape and allow you to set up your shade. Maybe the dust got to people this year and cause them to behave like elementary school cafeteria monitors.

would you stand there, or have the time to, and watch this take place? He can't do it "in the line". so still would have to leave line to deal with it.

and, he could have done that. left, wrapped, and returned.
it's not up to gate personnel, to solve a problem you created, either by accident or stupidity.
They are there to check stuff, and deal with it.
He was fortunate, the folks that helped him did......if it was busy, like it often can be there, it should be a quick drop kick out, come back when you get this dealt with.
As you recall, he said he "couldn't leave", for whatever reason (fuel/money IIRC).I'm sure, in his pleadings, he made that clear.

[clocksnmirrors]

If I was the greeter or somebody whose jurisdiction actually includes scrutiny of MOOP producing materials, and the bark really concerned me, I'd allow you to wrap the questionable parts of your poles with duct tape and allow you to set up your shade. Maybe the dust got to people this year and cause them to behave like elementary school cafeteria monitors.

there was definitely a MOOP leader checking me out when i came back from visiting town. stern fellow....

[CornMan]

If it was just one pole like he said, he could tape it up quickly enough. If it was all the poles, he could take them to the Gerlach dump or maybe Bruno's for storage. I am smart enough to suspect that if you glibly tell somebody to take them all the way back to Reno, they'd just end up along side the highway somewhere.

[MyPlayaUserName]

I AM CONFUSING GATE WITH GREETERS. Sorry, misuses of terminology. The greeter got me after I was already devastated.
I really appreciate all the eplaya feedback it's actually helping with the final healing of the emotional wounds the situation created.

Like I said, I am not attempting to play a victim when I apparently (albeit unknowingly) brought in something not welcomed. I just don't think the gate attitude of "FUCK OFF WITH UR ISSUES" is particularly appropriate to the event. The thing is, I wouldn't just dump the sticks on the side of the road. I have waaay too much respect for Burning Man, and hell, even the friend who lent them to me, to just toss them out.

Also to reiterate, they were indeed saying it was bark on ONE of the poles. Not the whole bunch. The issues was though that unwrapping the poles could cause them to flake. The other poles rubbing against the barked poll, etc....The tihng is though, we all bring in moopy stuff. Night one, someone gave me a burger and corn. I got bumped and dropped my plate. The corn was now moop. Until I picked up each kernel and disposed of it properly. So is corn not allowed on the playa? We all bring in things that shouldn't be in the environment, the issue to me is whether we are accountable for any mess they might create.

I am appreciative to the people in the D-Lot who in the long run let me in, but while I've learned from the default world to expect the least from people, that's not the sort of community I think Burning Man is, and I actually think a 'help thy neighbor' 'let's make it work' atittude SHOULD be adapted by the staff of an event that people have spent their savings on and gone through a great deal of effort to be a part of. I resent that I had to roll over and show my belly. I knew a "fuck you" attitude wasn't going to get me in, but something between being a complete pathetic mess, and anger, probably would have been more appropriate.

Long story short, I have to be ready for assholes EVERYWHERE, and I also have to clearly re-read some of Burning Man's rules as maybe I've gotten too complacent in the 6 years I've been doing this. I can say this is the first time I ever left a Burning Man not dying to return, and unsure if I ever would. Maybe I was a bit too fragile, but that's when and why I needed to be embraced and taught the error of my ways, rather than kicked in the nuts. I just sort of feel like I need to vent to someone working within BMORG and hear a 'Burning Man still loves you, none of us is perfect' in order to cleanse that event from my psyche.

Oh and it was a friggin Police State! I guess if you're from a city you don't notice, but I live in a small town and WOW I've never seen so many cops. I actually came up with a game, Ranger Bingo. There goes B409! BLACKOUT!

[vargaso]

Worst:

I drove 1150 miles alone from Taos, New Mexico. Left a day later than planned, so I really pushed it with the driving, 13 hours the first day, and the remainder the second day (Monday 8/27). I get through Gerlach, cry tears of joy on that last 9 miles before the turn off, and am blown away by the zero line, quick and easy entry. I get to Will Call, and there's hardly any line, and my low income ticket is THERE.

THEN I get to the "Greeters". And basically my entire world/burn was taken away right there. The first dude is friendly, doing the check. I'm excited, it's my 6th burn, I know the drill. Then this dude, who I can no longer even picture, says "don't let him in". I think he is being sarcastic, joshing me so to speak. He then repeats it, and tells me (and remember these essentially are the first words spoken to me by a 'greeter' after a long, tiring, hungry, painful drive) "You're not coming to Burning Man. You're taking that shit back to Reno, or you're not coming to Burning Man this year".

I am baffled. What shit? Well, on my roof I had brought wooden polls, not unlike those you would find on a tipi (many of which reside on the playa). I brought these polls as building materials. i usually do my shade structures with PVC, but I liver in a remote area, am on a budget, and the PVC usually has to be broken in take down, making shards of moop, so my friend let me use these 8 to 11 foot polls as the bones for my structure. I had built the entire thing prior at my home in Taos, to test it, Anyway, according to my greeter, ONE of the polls had bark on it. They were bundled in the middle, but not on the sides as I didn't think I was hiding them. An exposed side had bark which he felt would flake when the polls were unravelled from the tarp. He kept telling me to go back to Reno and dump my trash if I wanted to come in (I did not even come through Reno, incidentally).

He sent me to two other people, presumably to escort me out. At this point, I was shaking, and teary eyed. I've undergone a long recovery, and the drive for me was very difficult. And honestly, I had never even for a second imagined this scenario, of arriving at Burning Man and being yelled at to leave for bringing 'moop'. I was torn bc on the one hand I DID feel a fool for not recognizing that the bark would be considered moop as a seasoned burner, but on the other hand, the greeter's delivery was fucking cruel. Like a mall cop. He was unbending and mean to a person who had just come 'home'. It was honestly devestating to have my home tell me to get the fuck out. I didnt bring a stow away. I wasnt covered in glitter. I brought fucking wood to Burning Man! Show me ANY wood, that when bundled with other wood, doesnt have the potential to flake or splinter! I have the utmost respect for this event as someone who drives over a thousand miles to camp by himself and just be there. This just felt like straight up abuse. Like I had gotten past all the law enforcement I feared so, only to then have Burning Man be the one to single me out.

The people who were meant to escort me out saw my pain, Morover, I honestly felt like I had to put on a show, highlighting my patheticness, in order to keep from being forced to drive out and then in again. I just couldnt physically do that. Leave Burning Man after the drive. I was exhausted, hungry, and emotionally bruised, not to mention I really spent it all on the way to BRC, and knew the main way I would definitely be able to make it home was the money coming into my account on the first of the month. I could not have afforded to leave and come back, it was not possible. All of my resources had been spent getting me to that instant of rejection.

The thing is as a resonable person, I am willing to say ok, apparently I made a mistake with the wood. But the treatment from the beaurocracy of burning man was SO not warranted. We need to be embracing our citizens, not sending them away. We are problem solvers.
The two 'escort me out' people finally caved in after my oral report on what Burning Man means to me, and agreed to HELP me find a way to stay. The final agreement was that if I wrapped up both exposed ends of the sticks with my additional tarps (meant to be used for shade) and agreed to never unbundle it on the playa, and told the greeters where I would be camped so they could check, then I could go in. Of course I agreed and frantically dug through my car to get the tarps out and get my ass into BRC. In the process, some fabric from last year's burn blew a bit of playa dust out on me and they started up with 'that is mooping too!" and I kinda freaked and was like "THAT IS PLAYA DUST FROM LAST YEAR COME ON".
After an hour or so, I was in. Of course, then it hit me that my entire home I had planned was not going to be built. It was like, I got in, but now I was totally unprepared and blown out of the water. If I am honest, there was a slight air of 'well i just got beaten and raped' about the whole thing. Like 'sure you can go in now, that you have no shade or shelter, enjoy your burn!'.

The worst is really that I let this negativity affect my entire burn. I never had my own zone to escape to, which is something I treasure highly there, and therefore ffelt out of my element, and unrelaxed. I've never not had my own outdoor shaded area, I would never plan to do so. every day i would return to my half assed camop and be reminded of that moment when I went from elation to devestation. I've been alone in my small town so long, all I wanted was some social interaction, and a klind welcome to the place I had come to know as my home. But this didnt feel like my home this time. It felt like a typical party where the guy at the door has some power and abuses it. I dont want to play a victim but it felt like this guy looked at me and judged me the minute i arrived, and this is everything i go to burning man to escape.

The Best:

The best is everything I got out of the experience. Because I am stronger now. I am definitely seeing a pattern where the universe is sending me pretty extreme adversity, and I am seeing that I need to develop the strength to not let people attacking me, or just barking dogs, hurt me. What that gate guy did was not right but me letting it blow my trip out of the water was not right either. At the same time, I am a believer from experience in not supressing my emotions. I think I had damn good right to be upset, and while it is Burning Man and nobody wants to be bummed out, the reality was this happened and I needed to work through it and discuss it. But after all is said and done I feel tremendously strengthened by the experience. I found the citizens of BRC to be as wonderful as ever. Beautiful art, particularly the 3d Black light painting alley thing...that was AMAZING. And I know deep down that Burning Man always throws me a curve ball to help me grow. So afterwards I look back on it all fondly, but at the time, damn, this was a rough burn!

Oh other surprising BEST: So that afternoon I arrived, well I was so frazzled after all that went on at the gate, that I ended up making my SECOND rookie mistake of the year (first being bringing the bark i suppose), and while setting up my tent, I caught my shin on one of the stakes...it hardly hurt, but just the right angle and BAM...I have to go to the medic, where I get 8 stitches and a tetnis shot. FYI, I am normally terified of western medicine...That whole first day was SO UNEXPECTED. A bit of a nightmare, but I list this under best bc in all my years on the playa I had never had to see the medics before and WOW, they are incredible. And knowing we are in such capable hands out there was really impressive. And knowing its free. I really appreciate the medics and the good, sober work they are doing. It was an EXCELLENT experience with Western medicine and I'd rather go to the doctor on the playa than anywhere else.

Oh and other bests: Singing REPTAR REPTAR GOTTA FIND THAT REPTAR with strangers, and the entire temple burn night up until the no food, lots of alcohol, and mushrooms caught up with me.

I flat out do not like 99% of Gate/DPW that I encounter, and this story is a perfect example of why. Their attitude flat out sucks. "Fuck yer day" is (barely) funny when you encounter it in a non-official setting. When DPW et. al. use it while they are acting in an official BM capacity, it's simple abuse of power. Some bark on a wooden pole? Give me a fucking break.

[moonrise]

How hard is it to de-bark your wood MPUN? Glad to hear you is allll better and continuing to float through life I suppose, (just fuckin with ya' bud). For reasons I'll never say, PG&E threatened to D-Lot me and I laughed so hard and blurted out some funny remarks that they just roared in laughter and sent me on in.......yay'ah!


Too many bests and too few worsts, but this year the E-playa board really came to life for me seein'' as how I camped with (and met up with) sooo many of you fuckos! Dread Pirate Barbie camp within BDVillage was alive with hilarious antics of old timers and fun/funny virgins as well (silly virgins/visitors...you know who you are... you shall forever fear facebook... juuust kidding, lol!)

Best:
Blazing new trails with graidawg on my birthday, starting with the Pier 2 Regatta and ending somewhere familiar-ish, lmfao! It's alllllll good, aye graidawg?!!... Many MANY thanks go out to those who saved our arses! LOL!
Flaming one of my fire cocktail shows The Volcano~ for a bunch of us in Illy's Gnome Dome and a special thanks to Archie for nailing it all so well on film (finally!)
More bests but some of my worsts are so good I'll move onto those, for now.

Worst:
Friday night, on the open playa, the Moonmobile blew a lighting fuse. Within 5 minutes a LEO asked me to light him up or go into the city for repair, then as I'm headed in for repair... a boat (?) MV head on collisioned with us. No injuries, damage was slight and both parties parted on happy terms (radical way to make new friends lol).

The winds blew out my chance to make the Volcano~ cocktail show for Swish Embassy I gotta say all of the Swishers are incredible, fine examples of burners (imho). Nick, Dash, Mangina, Madison, and all the other sons and campers at Swish, thanks!!!!!! You (truly) saved me and mine from ourselves and the Noodle People! I see great things for Swish Embassy (and my hunches are often right!)

More to follow...when I finish recovering!

[Savannah]

Long story short, I have to be ready for assholes EVERYWHERE, and I also have to clearly re-read some of Burning Man's rules as maybe I've gotten too complacent in the 6 years I've been doing this. I can say this is the first time I ever left a Burning Man not dying to return, and unsure if I ever would. Maybe I was a bit too fragile, but that's when and why I needed to be embraced and taught the error of my ways, rather than kicked in the nuts. I just sort of feel like I need to vent to someone working within BMORG and hear a 'Burning Man still loves you, none of us is perfect' in order to cleanse that event from my psyche.

Burning Man still loves you, ya madman. Go forth and MOOP no more.

Seriously, I would hug you if you were here. It's okay to have been ruffled, but from here on out, I hope you will not take this so hard. You're a sweetheart, not a litterbug. So . . . just remember who you are, and you'll be set.