Idle Chat Thread

nipples · Post by **nipples** » Tue Sep 28, 2004 8:53 pm

I keep seeing patterns in the stars, wish for others to sit under them & point out quietly to another. Like cloud pictures in the daytime.

So that will hopefully come true... a campfire this fall with others in love with life (when I am also, otherwise I'll miss the forest for the trees).

Yesterday I was in a foul mood. Egotistical beyond reason. It was quite awful to endure after knowing peace for so long. Will not go there again, I do hope!

To be rewarded with grace when thinking right had become less apparent, until brandishing an ugly-stick.

love & shit & stuff,

nipples

nipples · Post by **nipples** » Tue Sep 28, 2004 9:01 pm

It has been quagmire,
there at an impass, seeming paradox to never cross.

Was not that ugly strengthens or is good at all, only that that is what it sometimes takes to strengthen my resolve for peace.

nipples · Post by **nipples** » Tue Sep 28, 2004 9:05 pm

smiles are within me
never need i frown
simply trust my fellow man

nipples · Post by **nipples** » Tue Sep 28, 2004 9:51 pm

Anyways, I was doubting my co-workers, and my employer.. their intentions & attitudes towards ME, when really the problem was that I was doubting them.

Today, the employer ordered 14 yards of concrete for two experienced peeps & five inexperienced to lay in four hours. Two are very small yet wirey, one is strongly built & a force of nature, one is strongly built & though not accustomed for stamina does have it, one is large & strong though not a worker-bee, one is apt to wander off, one is strong & stamanic. An 8th person is too foul to hope show presence, the others all gems of personality. The 8th, the business manager, always shows up coming from or going to a meeting, and interjects to all of us actually DOING SOMETHING that "Oh, Is that what the plan is? Is it better then to do it that way? I thought (Sam) said we might do it differently. Maybe you better check with Sam?" .. as the cornice is laid & sculpture added this LITTLE FUCK comes in CONSTANTLY to act like his imput is needed other than to act as what?@! An obstical. He is an obstical and I'm sorry I can not spell that word right now & would rather type out this explanation than reach one foot dwon to the floor on my left & pick up a FREAKING dictionary, but he is like a toll bridge that has no payoff! A road that no one need to build! He trys to justify his job by acting like he is managing people instead of the budget?! Dunno, but he is not the peopel manager (there is none), but the business manager. Maybe he is just trying to be social with the lower eschelon. The fuck. Sorry! That is my icky side aagin!

Anyways.. about the Pour That Some People May Leave A Spleen At:
I am bringing my Wonder Woman™ statuette to work, and will ask them all to know they have strength within that they can/should trust to guide them. It is important when peeps of any size/ability do heavy labour that they/we let our bodies tell us what is appropriate, to avoid injuries and make the day joyous rather than some he-man barbarian contest of how full a wheel-buggy was the previous load compared to this one.

Keep smiling, and make yer coworkers bring you joy (or kill them)!

nipples · Post by **nipples** » Tue Sep 28, 2004 9:57 pm

Oh Yeah!

My Wonder Woman™ statuette has been broken off at the ankles (boo), so it is kinda nice that I can plant her in concrete as our mascot. Plus, it sorta goes with the picture the cement truck driver shows you each delivery of Portland cement burns. Owwie!@ That had to hurt!

samtzu · Post by **samtzu** » Tue Sep 28, 2004 10:00 pm

Nipples... thanks for that post. I love your thought processes. They lead, always, back to release.

12 yards? I've done flat work, foundations, plus I've driven mixer. It's all dirty, hard work. The last thing you need is an insecure (all arrogance is, at it's root, insecurity) little shit pissing everyone off. Next time, use him as rebar. Perhaps his strength could be transfered to the 'crete.

Again... thanks

Sam

samtzu · Post by **samtzu** » Tue Sep 28, 2004 10:03 pm

Nipples wrote:

....Portland cement burns. Owwie!@ That had to hurt!

Yup!! Got some in my eye one time. YEEEEE HAAAAAWWW!!! Had to pour some acid in it to counteract it. Nothing like watching your eye foam to give you a perspective on life... and the frailty of the human body...

nipples · Post by **nipples** » Tue Sep 28, 2004 10:04 pm

Ah. Shity.

Maybe the 8th person is just trying to fit in, running interference for us all off the job all day. I'll give him a wider smile tommorrow, eh.

nipples · Post by **nipples** » Tue Sep 28, 2004 10:16 pm

Thanks, samtzu.
Had not meant to forgive the manager just after you were finishing his cruxifiction. Would have likley joined in!

Heavy on the fiction, crux of biscuit are we.

I often worry that I expose too much of myself.

Bleed right here, on the stage.
Would you think the boy is strange?
Is he strange?

(Jagger?)

I'm heading back into the bar, eh.

Thanks again, samtzu.
I am at your service, and all whom might spring from your loins.

paps · Post by **paps** » Tue Sep 28, 2004 10:51 pm

hoping to service
all whom might spring from your loins
eventually

amnesia · Post by **amnesia** » Tue Sep 28, 2004 10:54 pm

in abject horror
all whom might still bed with thee
spring from loins to me

Sensei · Post by **Sensei** » Tue Sep 28, 2004 11:02 pm

The moon's out tonight
wonder what she's looking for
shining so brightly

tisha2 · Post by **tisha2** » Tue Sep 28, 2004 11:13 pm

*pout*

can't see it here...too cloudy...

geekster · Post by **geekster** » Tue Sep 28, 2004 11:22 pm

Maybe I will join
"Adult Children of Parents"
For recovery

nipples · Post by **nipples** » Wed Sep 29, 2004 2:06 am

stepping towards people i like seems difficult

the terror of proximity eventually passes

samtzu · Post by **samtzu** » Wed Sep 29, 2004 9:16 am

Nipples wrote:

stepping towards people i like seems difficult

the terror of proximity eventually passes

Stepping all steps
in a dance of Light
Shiva is smiling
in birth and destruction
Joy and Terror
two sides of the same cloud
drift rain and sunshine
On all who are aware

Joy, our friend Nipples
Life is our Playa
Play is our dance
Creation/Destruction
on the balls of your feet

Samtzu

tisha2 · Post by **tisha2** » Wed Sep 29, 2004 12:23 pm

sam, that was beautiful.

nipples · Post by **nipples** » Thu Sep 30, 2004 11:49 pm

Very nice & thank you, Samtzu.

The cement pour went fine. The Business Manager was indeed insecure, and put me to shame with his drive. The not-a-worker-bee has worked more muscles than I';ll ever relax. I am humbled and glad to be with them all. Petite kept going, thinker one step ahead.

love & shit & stuff,

nipples

nipples · Post by **nipples** » Tue Oct 12, 2004 6:56 am

I'm having trouble divorcing my self from the ego-maniac I would like to eject. Persistant little fuck, only here at my continued invitation.. sort of like how vampires cannot enter your "house" without your permission?!

Anyways, I got a "great" art commission this fall... will last at least a year, full time. However, the owners have me doing everything BUT art. Prep before winter on the building exterior, digging, mixing materials which cannot be mixed below 32 Farenheit... etc.... all the while, the most clearly defined task to be done before winter is to build the outdoors wood stove, shaped like an egg with a dragon coming out.... the dragons mouth and nostrils are the smokestack. The egg 8-1/2' X 14' by 7' high (walk-in!).

Last Wednesday I brought in two 18' tall carved pillars, to give to the owners for next to the front door, and five 8' long fish to "swim" up the driveway. I said the only catch was that they had to be used in those applications and that my name was not to be known or promoted.

They declined, saying that they wanted the building to be the main "star" and not the art.

This was a $10,000 gift, declined..... would have looked great, and they hired ME as the artist, so if they do not like my proposals on what to do for the building, & have not allowed me to perform artistic expression to the building, I am at a loss on what it is I am to provide, or perhaps the providence is my lesson learned that though to them, the building is an idol, "my" art is not so much a gift to others as it is also an idol to the ego!?

Anyways, my "pride" was hurt that they declined, and also that I am directed to help everyone else on their before-the-ground-freeezes projects, but guess who will be sitting outside alone when the snow flys?!

So I presented my bill for the past two weeks & told them I'd not be in yesterday & today. That will teach them! Make them suffer the wrath of the pouty artist fuck!

nipples · Post by **nipples** » Tue Oct 12, 2004 7:35 am

The owner said to me: "Today & tommorrow are going to be the last nice days of the year (70 degrees). After this, it is supposed to be highs of 40 as far as the eye can see. But you have something more important to do than give these two days to me...."

So I said "Hmm, so the hammer is going to fall after all".

To me, it was a given, a known that winter would come. I do not watch the weather stations, but have watched others produce not fire-wood for winter, though plenty of rhetoric & The Hypothesis of Warmth.

Yes, the building has a back-up heat source, yes the building will be warm... and yes, they will be in it.... but me? I will be outside! Building an egg which they will not let me hatch by conventional means, but of an immpossible function versus form nightmare. For instance, is the dragon a function of the stove? Yes, it is required, and to be a chimney. As such, that function requires the function of load bearing beneath.... but woe is me! There is to be an impulse item of not an out-house crapper after all within the eggshell, but a BREAD OVEN in the load bearing wall! Oh, and a firebox door!

So this marriage of form & function could be quite elegant.. exquisite. YEs! Let me start! But no! Surprise! You must make it a shell-within a shell, hollow walls supported by thin ribbons, instead of occasional tubes... the function of which (superior air passege) supercedes all other functions, as none may be made by man concurrently. But do not worry that, for there is plenty for you to do before the snow flys!

Oh, the ego manic, woe i bring to thee!

nipples · Post by **nipples** » Tue Oct 12, 2004 8:21 am

So that is where I am at.

His not allowing any element of design by me to stand, but to be continually altered in such a way as to never allow one shovel to be lifted.

My deciding last week that I will simply quit. The two days "off" a deliberate "count to ten.. see if it is just a rash decision".

It is just too frustrating trying to create art for a client. Is the definition of "commercial artist" SELLOUT? Or are there clients whom actually let you display PENISES & PUSSY in the Vatican if you are actually talented?!

I like being independent, making stuff I'll never sell.. but give away or let moulder in the garage.

Sigh.

I suppose the right thing to do is to go in tommorrow and level with them, that I will no longer work for them because they do not want me to.

Sigh.

Thus ends/begins another chapter in the life of the man whom cut off his nose to spite his face.

Zulegoona · Post by **Zulegoona** » Tue Oct 12, 2004 9:06 am

From one who is newly unemployed in the Twin Cities I say don't do it. (I don't need the competition). Not that I would be qualified to compete against you for anything, but getting paid is a lot better than not getting paid. Yeah I am half Norwegian, and was raised Lutheran, So I need to free my ego a little bit, but the middle path is the road to happiness.

sparkletarte · Post by **sparkletarte** » Tue Oct 12, 2004 9:17 am

Nipples, that sucks. It sounds like you thought you were hired to make art, and they thought you were hired to shovel dirt. Sounds like you need to have a talk to be really clear about what the job is and then you can decide if you want to do it.

Being a commercial artist is not being a sell out. If it allows you to do what you want to do, that's great. You may have to shove some parts of your artistic nature away when you are working for others, but then you have to cash and time to create exactly the art you want to make when you are doing it for yourself.

Rian Jackson · Post by **Rian Jackson** » Tue Oct 12, 2004 9:18 am

hey, does anyone know whether chemical exposure can disqualify you from giving blood?

I called the blood bank and they said being in Israel isn't a problem (all parts) but i forgot to ask about the stuff i can't talk about at work anyway.

it's been almost a year.... well, 10 months...

do they care about nerve agents? do those stick about in the blood stream?

i'd really like to donate. i kinda think people who can should. always have....
and if i've lost too much weight being sick and such, i'll put lead in my pockets. ha!

Rian Jackson · Post by **Rian Jackson** » Tue Oct 12, 2004 9:20 am

Zulegoona wrote:From one who is newly unemployed in the Twin Cities I say don't do it. (I don't need the competition). Not that I would be qualified to compete against you for anything, but getting paid is a lot better than not getting paid. Yeah I am half Norwegian, and was raised Lutheran, So I need to free my ego a little bit, but the middle path is the road to happiness.

look out!

this one clearly believes in big pots of coffee, fellowship halls, picnics, pot lucks, and is likely to understate everything. and likely doesn't drink enough.

i know, because i was raised that way, too.

god. my grandparents were probably your pastors. jeebus.

Zulegoona · Post by **Zulegoona** » Tue Oct 12, 2004 9:31 am

Rian Jackson wrote:
Zulegoona wrote:From one who is newly unemployed in the Twin Cities I say don't do it. (I don't need the competition). Not that I would be qualified to compete against you for anything, but getting paid is a lot better than not getting paid. Yeah I am half Norwegian, and was raised Lutheran, So I need to free my ego a little bit, but the middle path is the road to happiness.
look out!

this one clearly believes in big pots of coffee, fellowship halls, picnics, pot lucks, and is likely to understate everything. and likely doesn't drink enough.

i know, because i was raised that way, too.

god. my grandparents were probably your pastors. jeebus.

No, I wasn't ever any good at being a good Lut-ran and in resent soul searching I'm deciding I don't necessarily want to be famous but I would like to be known. So it is possible to overcome genetic predisposition. ( well that's my goal anyway)

As for big pots of strong black coffee, ok you got me there....

Rian Jackson · Post by **Rian Jackson** » Tue Oct 12, 2004 9:33 am

parish? church? city? pastors?
really. my family is a bunch of Olies and they really might have been your ministers.

Alpha · Post by **Alpha** » Tue Oct 12, 2004 9:38 am

My 2 cents: Is it worth the money to you, to do what they're asking you to do? If so, put your artistic impulses on the shelf while you get something to pay the bills, and THEN be pickier in your next job. If you don't want to shovel dirt for that kind of money then sit down with the clients and explain to them that you took the job to be an artist, not a construction hand, and that you want to either renegotiate or call it off.

Zulegoona · Post by **Zulegoona** » Tue Oct 12, 2004 9:43 am

I was born and grew up in Cedar Falls Iowa. I was drug to Nazareth Lutheran Church. Northeastern Iowa has to be the Norwegian population center of the Midwest.

Rian Jackson · Post by **Rian Jackson** » Tue Oct 12, 2004 9:46 am

i know CF but my family is more from Minnesota. Though i, for a time, defected and went to 'That Swede School' in Decorah (as did part of my mother's family, who are Swedes).

The name recognition is preposterous. I was playing a concert in FL one time and some lady saw my name on the program. She found me after and turned out to be a great uncle's former parishoner's dog's last owner or something like that....

So you're an Iowegian, huh?

teehee.

Idle Chat Thread

~