Married Horndogs

Alpha · Post by **Alpha** » Wed Oct 13, 2004 3:36 pm

Okay geekster, spill it. Don't make me send someone over there to, er, whip it out of you.

buckethead alien · Post by **buckethead alien** » Wed Oct 13, 2004 3:39 pm

Holy shit. Somebody had to start this thread.

geekster · Post by **geekster** » Wed Oct 13, 2004 3:55 pm

Actually, it already slipped out in another thread but I covered hastilly by nudging the subject slightly off the track with a James Bond reference. My point in the other thread was that the attitudes were fairly sterotypical monogamist viewpoints. Many people don't subscribe to the idea that one single person is and always will be everything one will always need in their life and that having feelings for one in any way diminishes your feelings for another. Personally, I believe that people love who they love. Period. There is no need to justify or explain or attach a right or a wrong ... it just is. This plurality is accepted without question in unchosen relationships. If I have four grandparents are they secretly waiting for one of the others to die so that I will love them more? I doubt it. When my son was born, I didn't love my daughter less.

Sure, in all these relationships the nature of the love is slightly different. Each child, uncle, or grandparent is slightly different. They touch your personality and your heart in a different place or different way. That is PART of your love for them. And it is the same with lovers. Think back. Each one was different, touched you differently, brought a different part of you to the surface. The difference is that our culture says that without one you are somehow incomplete and with more than one you are guilty of romantic gluttony. You are expected to experiance these people serially and must completely use one up and send it on its way before partaking of the next. But just don't be caught without one you poor dear ... here, let me fix you up ... or with more than one ... you SLUT. Bullshit.

You go through life and you love who you love when you find them and when the feelings spring forth. When you discover you have feelings for another, it doesn't diminish the love you have for the first ... because the heart spring forth more love when and where needed. Ask a new parent or grandparent. It is the same with romantic love ... for ME and I am not saying it is the answer for everyone and I am afraid it is going to turn into a big giant flamefest and I hope it doesn't.

Just that in many cases with many people in many relationships ... it is perfectly okay to be married and be a horndog and maybe even bring your girlfriend home to meet your wife while she makes a sandwich for her girlfriend while her husband gets you a beer. It takes all kinds to burn a man.

cowboyangel · Post by **cowboyangel** » Wed Oct 13, 2004 3:57 pm

truism .....men are pigs, and don't forget it.

GuinivereElise · Post by **GuinivereElise** » Wed Oct 13, 2004 3:57 pm

Many people don't subscribe to the idea that one single person is and always will be everything one will always need in their life and that having feelings for one in any way diminishes your feelings for another.

Bravo. Well said. And just what I've been trying to say to people for a while now.

stuart · Post by **stuart** » Wed Oct 13, 2004 4:01 pm

is this where we discuss the differences between swingers and polyamorists again?

cowboyangel · Post by **cowboyangel** » Wed Oct 13, 2004 4:03 pm

I thought that was polyfidelity-ists

geekster · Post by **geekster** » Wed Oct 13, 2004 4:03 pm

Thats what I would want to avoid and why I was holding my tongue. That discussion is alive and well over on tribe.

Alpha · Post by **Alpha** » Wed Oct 13, 2004 4:09 pm

I'll buy that.

I want to add, however, that many people have an emotional need to be the Only to their Other. To love another who has that need, one must conform to that notion of serial monogamy or else risk serious emotional damage to their partner. Sadly, I think most infidelity happens NOT because one partner has the capability to sustain several romantic relationships, but because they no longer desire to meet the emotional needs of the partner they have.

Either that, or we just need to train our prudish spouses to get along with our girfriends / boyfriends. :-)

stuart · Post by **stuart** » Wed Oct 13, 2004 4:09 pm

maybe even bring your girlfriend home to meet your wife while...

will you apply the same philosophy when your daughter is in high-school? I don't mean this as a nasty jab. I am honestly curious.

geekster · Post by **geekster** » Wed Oct 13, 2004 4:18 pm

Alpha: Yes ... and that is where HONESTY comes in. Or at least being honest with yourself. That is FINE, perfectly FINE. I am not saying any one way is BETTER than any other way except for SOME people. Sure, what is best for Alpha might not be best for Geekster ... not a problem and it does not diminish my respect for anyone's needs, feelings, whatever. What I have a problem with is when they say that a certain way is somehow BAD or EVIL or WRONG or their way is BETTER.

Stuart: I certainly hope so. When I think back on it, we were a LOT more social in our dating when we were in highschool than kids are today. If we weren't married it was OKAY to date more than one person. These days kids are acting as if they are married in junior high. Practicing for divorce, I guess. By the time they get married I suppose they are good and experianced at breaking up. Sorry, that is cynical of me, and does not reflect the way I really want to feel but it is what my logical mind is telling me.

I will encourage her to follow her heart and discourage her from being too possessive at an early age and pretty much just be there for whatever happens beyond that. I would like to think she will be responsible enough to handle herself well by then. Time will tell.

stuart · Post by **stuart** » Wed Oct 13, 2004 4:33 pm

that's quite commendable.

I think one of the reasons kids today do the pair bonding thing so much is that they are sexually active very early on and this is perhaps the only context in which it is even marginally societally acceptable for them to be fuckin'.

geekster · Post by **geekster** » Wed Oct 13, 2004 4:39 pm

Good point. Mom put my sister on birth control when she was 13. That's gonna be a scary issue for me, I guess 'cause I know how boys are

But I don't want her to be afraid of sex or afraid to ask questions. I would hope she finds in enjoyable but approaches it with responsibility. It is one activity that can impact the rest of your life. I think she will be okay. We will just have to do the right thing and hope for the best. I am going to try not to push one way or the other but will support her and provide information and be a sounding board. And she WILL be in by 10pm

stuart · Post by **stuart** » Wed Oct 13, 2004 4:44 pm

that's exemplary IMO. Save for that in by ten part.

Alpha · Post by **Alpha** » Wed Oct 13, 2004 4:48 pm

geekster wrote:What I have a problem with is when they say that a certain way is somehow BAD or EVIL or WRONG or their way is BETTER.

Word to that!

(except sheep-screwin... that's just WRONG)

RoadWarrior · Post by **RoadWarrior** » Tue Oct 19, 2004 6:59 am

Alpha wrote:(except sheep-screwin... that's just WRONG)

For some reason I'm getting an immense urge to organise a "Camp Little Bo Peep"

Zulegoona · Post by **Zulegoona** » Tue Oct 19, 2004 7:33 am

sorry no pets on the playa,

I've even seen a ranger confiscate a woman in a leopard print leotard that was wearing a collar and leash. I think they kept her at their head quarters till the end of the event, the same thing would be bound to happen with sheep......

Rian Jackson · Post by **Rian Jackson** » Tue Oct 19, 2004 8:54 am

even worse, you'd have to worry about BRCAC.

regynalonglank · Post by **regynalonglank** » Wed Oct 20, 2004 5:35 pm

i can't believe you guys actually started a married horndogs thread...i am laughing so hard right now i can harldy see!

regynalonglank · Post by **regynalonglank** » Wed Oct 20, 2004 5:48 pm

You are expected to experiance these people serially and must completely use one up and send it on its way before partaking of the next. But just don't be caught without one you poor dear ... here, let me fix you up ... or with more than one ... you SLUT. Bullshit.

amen to that my brother, amen to that.

and awoman to that too, for that matter!

heh

calicowboy925 · Post by **calicowboy925** » Thu Oct 21, 2004 10:56 am

I think the probs with what you are discussing start with deceit and dishonesty...If one is hiding another relationship, thats when it feels they are choosing one over the other. But there are those who are posessive too..MINE, MINE, MINE! You know the type, they freak if you buy their partner a drink or ask to dance (when you dont know they are on a date/in a relationship)...Hell, I have always felt if the other guys aint hitting on my gal, Im not dating a hot enough girl! Its actually a compliment for others to hit on them, as long as they are polite and not crude...then its up to the mate to repel and or deal with the situation..But to be jealous is weak and shows a lack of self confidence... Tom Petty said, If you think you can do better go....

Apollonaris Zeus · Post by **Apollonaris Zeus** » Sat Oct 23, 2004 12:46 pm

I love Corndogs. They great on the playa, but I didn't know that they could marry. I'm sure that the ultra conservatives will pass a constitutional amendment soon.

Oh, shit I didn't know you are talking about Married Horndogs.

So sorry, so sorry!

A II Z

becca · Post by **becca** » Sat Oct 23, 2004 12:57 pm

Oh my Gawd! A too Z. How ARE you? HAve you seen Glittery Clittery around at all. I miss her soooo much

Winky winky woo

cowboyangel · Post by **cowboyangel** » Sun Nov 07, 2004 5:40 pm

ok ok I'm a married horndog and I'm proud of it!

Mister Jellyfish Mister · Post by **Mister Jellyfish Mister** » Mon Nov 08, 2004 6:35 am

Before I was a married horndog I was a single horndog. I don't know what's worse.

The single will hump your leg like a frisky puppy because he's trying to find your happy hole. The betrothed will do it because it's just a leg and that dosen't compromise the vows, does it?

I guess I answered my own question. The worst horndog is the one who is accustomed to regular and good sex. It sure gives me something to look forward to but plays hell with my blood pressure on the playa.

Please ignore me if I say to you:
"I really mean it. You have a prefect ass. Can a built a shrine for it next year?"

tonytohono · Post by **tonytohono** » Mon Nov 08, 2004 10:25 am

I came in here thinking it was going to be some kind of forum for wild stories of polygamists on the playa...

and here we are anal-yzing what some people refer to as a way of life. Hmm...

I better head back to the bar.

tonytohono · Post by **tonytohono** » Mon Nov 08, 2004 10:28 am

becca wrote:I may be a sock, but I am way hotter than you anyway

lol

Married Horndogs

Married Horndogs

Plenty of sex

Yadda yadda... yeah right