The Bar

sparkletarte · Post by **sparkletarte** » Mon Oct 18, 2004 3:57 pm

Drinks for everyone!!!!! We got the house!!!!! The other people flailed!!!!!!

stuart · Post by **stuart** » Mon Oct 18, 2004 4:01 pm

I expected to get flamed

i gave a light toasting as a courtesy to a fellow patron

GuinivereElise · Post by **GuinivereElise** » Mon Oct 18, 2004 4:05 pm

Well, thanks, Stuart.

I think.

Sparkletarte, congrats!

theCryptofishist · Post by **theCryptofishist** » Mon Oct 18, 2004 4:05 pm

theCryptofishist wrote:
thinkcooper wrote: Armed squirrels are the new black panthers.
When can we read their manifesto?

I've been pm'd a priliminary draft of their 10 Point Plan.

Boppy Seal wrote:The Ten Point Plan

1. WE WANT FREEDOM. WE WANT POWER TO DETERMINE THE DESTINY OF OUR Squirrel CommunitIies.
We believe that squirrels and rodents will not be free until we are able to determine our destinies in our own communities ourselves, by fully controlling all the institutions which exist in our communities.

2. WE WANT FULL EMPLOYMENT FOR OUR PEOPLE.
We believe that the federal government is responsible and obligated to give every person employment or a guaranteed income. We believe that if the American businessmen will not give full employment, then the technology and means of production should be taken from the businessmen and placed in the community so that the people of the community can organize and employ all of its people and give a high standard of living.

3. WE WANT AN END TO THE ROBBERY BY THE CAPITALISTS OF OUR Squirrel AND OPPRESSED COMMUNITIES.
We believe that this racist government has robbed us and now we are demanding the overdue debt of forty acres and two oak trees. Forty acres and two oak trees were promised 100 years ago as restitution for slave labor and mass murder of Black people. We will accept the payment in currency which will be distributed to our many communities. The American speciescist has taken part in the slaughter of our fifty billion Squirrels. Therefore, we feel this is a modest demand that we make.

4. WE WANT DECENT HOUSING, FIT FOR THE SHELTER OF Squirrels.
We believe that if the landlords will not give decent housing to Squirrel communities, then housing and the trees should be made into cooperatives so that the Squirrels in our communities, with government aid, can build and make decent housing for the Squirrels.

5. WE WANT DECENT EDUCATION FOR Rodents THAT EXPOSES THE TRUE NATURE OF THIS DECADENT AMERICAN SOCIETY. WE WANT EDUCATION THAT TEACHES US OUR TRUE HISTORY AND OUR ROLE IN THE PRESENT-DAY SOCIETY.
We believe in an educational system that will give to our Squirrels a knowledge of the self. If you do not have knowledge of yourself and your position in the society and in the world, then you will have little chance to know anything else.

6. WE WANT COMPLETELY FREE Veterinary CARE FOR All Squirrels AND OPPRESSED Rodents.
We believe that the government must provide, free of charge, for the people, veterinary facilities which will not only treat our illnesses, most of which have come about as a result of our oppression, but which will also develop preventive medical programs to guarantee our future survival. We believe that mass veterinary education and research programs must be developed to give all Squirrels and Oppressed Rodents access to advanced scientific and medical information, so we may provide our selves with proper medical attention and care.

7. WE WANT AN IMMEDIATE END TO POLICE BRUTALITY AND MURDER OF Squirrels, OTHER Rodents, All OPPRESSED fuzzy creatures INSIDE THE UNITED STATES.
We believe that the racist and fascist government of the United States uses its domestic enforcement agencies to carry out its program of oppression against squirrels and other rodents inside the united States. We believe it is our right, therefore, to defend ourselves against such armed forces and that all squirrels and oppressed rodents should be armed for self defense of our homes and communities against these fascist police forces.

8. WE WANT AN IMMEDIATE END TO ALL WARS OF AGGRESSION.
We believe that the various conflicts which exist around the world stem directly from the aggressive desire of the United States ruling circle and government to force its domination upon the oppressed people of the world. We believe that if the United States government or its lackeys do not cease these aggressive wars it is the right of squirrels to defend themselves by any means necessary against their aggressors.

9. WE WANT FREEDOM FOR ALL Squirrels and Oppressed Rodents NOW HELD IN U. S. FEDERAL, STATE, COUNTY, CITY AND MILITARY PRISONS AND JAILS. WE WANT TRIALS BY A JURY OF PEERS FOR All Rodents CHARGED WITH SO-CALLED CRIMES UNDER THE LAWS OF THIS COUNTRY.
We believe that the many Squirrels and poor oppressed rodents now held in United States prisons and jails have not received fair and impartial trials under a speciesist and fascist judicial system and should be free from incarceration. We believe in the ultimate elimination of all wretched, inhuman penal institutions, because the masses of squirrels and rodents imprisoned inside the United States or by the United States military are the victims of oppressive conditions which are the real cause of their imprisonment. We believe that when squirrels are brought to trial they must be guaranteed, by the United States, juries of their peers, attorneys of their choice and freedom from imprisonment while awaiting trial.

10. WE WANT LAND, NUTS, HOUSING, EDUCATION, CLOTHING, JUSTICE, PEACE AND PEOPLE'S COMMUNITY CONTROL OF MODERN TECHNOLOGY.
When, in the course of human events, it becomes necessary for rodents to dissolve the political bonds which have connected them with humans, and to assume, among the powers of the earth, the separate and equal station to which the laws of nature and nature's God entitle them, a decent respect to the opinions of squirrelkind requires that they should declare the causes which impel them to the separation.

We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all rodents are created equal; that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable rights; that among these are life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness. That to secure these rights, governments are instituted among squirrels, deriving their just powers from the consent of the governed; that, whenever any form of government becomes destructive of these ends, it is the right of rodents to alter or to abolish it, and to institute a new government, laying its foundation on such principles, and organizing its powers in such form as to them shall seem most likely to effect their safety and happiness. Prudence, indeed, will dictate that governments long established should not be changed for light and transient causes; and, accordingly, all experience hath shown that squirrelkind are most disposed to suffer, while evils are sufferable, than to right themselves by abolishing the forms to which they are accustomed. But, when a long train of abuses and usurpation, pursuing invariably the same object, evinces a design to reduce them under absolute despotism, it is their right, it is their duty, to throw off such government, and to provide new guards for their future security.

thinkcooper · Post by **thinkcooper** » Mon Oct 18, 2004 4:06 pm

theCryptofishist wrote:
thinkcooper wrote: Armed squirrels are the new black panthers.
When can we read their manifesto? And has their propaganda minister absconded to Cuba yet?

(And I can't wait until they start designing pants.)

I ditched the squirrels at the gun store. They got prettyu pissed here in the bar. An the barkeep got all testy. Somebody buy her a drink, sheesh...

Hell, I'll take two shots of Raicilla, one for me, another for her.

Nice "Free Huey" shot BTW.

tisha2 · Post by **tisha2** » Mon Oct 18, 2004 4:06 pm

YAAAAYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!! For Sparkletarte!!!! Oh that is FANTASTIC!!!

theCryptofishist · Post by **theCryptofishist** » Mon Oct 18, 2004 4:07 pm

Sensei wrote:
Both you and Crypto are freakin' nuts...

Sensei approves.

Just don't feed us to the revolutionary squirrels.

Rian Jackson · Post by **Rian Jackson** » Mon Oct 18, 2004 4:07 pm

don't listen to the fish.
she's all misinformation.
what makes you think we - i mean, they - would reveal our - er, their - information to a fish??

theCryptofishist · Post by **theCryptofishist** » Mon Oct 18, 2004 4:09 pm

Rian Jackson wrote:don't listen to the fish.
she's all misinformation.
what makes you think we - i mean, they - would reveal our - er, their - information to a fish??

Hey, I used to be a parakeet. I'm still a member of the greater aboreal coalition.

thinkcooper · Post by **thinkcooper** » Mon Oct 18, 2004 4:12 pm

theCryptofishist wrote:
theCryptofishist wrote:
thinkcooper wrote: Armed squirrels are the new black panthers.
When can we read their manifesto?
I've been pm'd a priliminary draft of their 10 Point Plan.
Boppy Seal wrote:The Ten Point Plan

1. WE WANT FREEDOM. WE WANT POWER TO DETERMINE THE DESTINY OF OUR Squirrel CommunitIies.
We believe that squirrels and rodents will not be free until we are able to determine our destinies in our own communities ourselves, by fully controlling all the institutions which exist in our communities.

2. WE WANT FULL EMPLOYMENT FOR OUR PEOPLE.
We believe that the federal government is responsible and obligated to give every person employment or a guaranteed income. We believe that if the American businessmen will not give full employment, then the technology and means of production should be taken from the businessmen and placed in the community so that the people of the community can organize and employ all of its people and give a high standard of living.

3. WE WANT AN END TO THE ROBBERY BY THE CAPITALISTS OF OUR Squirrel AND OPPRESSED COMMUNITIES.
We believe that this racist government has robbed us and now we are demanding the overdue debt of forty acres and two oak trees. Forty acres and two oak trees were promised 100 years ago as restitution for slave labor and mass murder of Black people. We will accept the payment in currency which will be distributed to our many communities. The American speciescist has taken part in the slaughter of our fifty billion Squirrels. Therefore, we feel this is a modest demand that we make.

4. WE WANT DECENT HOUSING, FIT FOR THE SHELTER OF Squirrels.
We believe that if the landlords will not give decent housing to Squirrel communities, then housing and the trees should be made into cooperatives so that the Squirrels in our communities, with government aid, can build and make decent housing for the Squirrels.

5. WE WANT DECENT EDUCATION FOR Rodents THAT EXPOSES THE TRUE NATURE OF THIS DECADENT AMERICAN SOCIETY. WE WANT EDUCATION THAT TEACHES US OUR TRUE HISTORY AND OUR ROLE IN THE PRESENT-DAY SOCIETY.
We believe in an educational system that will give to our Squirrels a knowledge of the self. If you do not have knowledge of yourself and your position in the society and in the world, then you will have little chance to know anything else.

6. WE WANT COMPLETELY FREE Veterinary CARE FOR All Squirrels AND OPPRESSED Rodents.
We believe that the government must provide, free of charge, for the people, veterinary facilities which will not only treat our illnesses, most of which have come about as a result of our oppression, but which will also develop preventive medical programs to guarantee our future survival. We believe that mass veterinary education and research programs must be developed to give all Squirrels and Oppressed Rodents access to advanced scientific and medical information, so we may provide our selves with proper medical attention and care.

7. WE WANT AN IMMEDIATE END TO POLICE BRUTALITY AND MURDER OF Squirrels, OTHER Rodents, All OPPRESSED fuzzy creatures INSIDE THE UNITED STATES.
We believe that the racist and fascist government of the United States uses its domestic enforcement agencies to carry out its program of oppression against squirrels and other rodents inside the united States. We believe it is our right, therefore, to defend ourselves against such armed forces and that all squirrels and oppressed rodents should be armed for self defense of our homes and communities against these fascist police forces.

8. WE WANT AN IMMEDIATE END TO ALL WARS OF AGGRESSION.
We believe that the various conflicts which exist around the world stem directly from the aggressive desire of the United States ruling circle and government to force its domination upon the oppressed people of the world. We believe that if the United States government or its lackeys do not cease these aggressive wars it is the right of squirrels to defend themselves by any means necessary against their aggressors.

9. WE WANT FREEDOM FOR ALL Squirrels and Oppressed Rodents NOW HELD IN U. S. FEDERAL, STATE, COUNTY, CITY AND MILITARY PRISONS AND JAILS. WE WANT TRIALS BY A JURY OF PEERS FOR All Rodents CHARGED WITH SO-CALLED CRIMES UNDER THE LAWS OF THIS COUNTRY.
We believe that the many Squirrels and poor oppressed rodents now held in United States prisons and jails have not received fair and impartial trials under a speciesist and fascist judicial system and should be free from incarceration. We believe in the ultimate elimination of all wretched, inhuman penal institutions, because the masses of squirrels and rodents imprisoned inside the United States or by the United States military are the victims of oppressive conditions which are the real cause of their imprisonment. We believe that when squirrels are brought to trial they must be guaranteed, by the United States, juries of their peers, attorneys of their choice and freedom from imprisonment while awaiting trial.

10. WE WANT LAND, NUTS, HOUSING, EDUCATION, CLOTHING, JUSTICE, PEACE AND PEOPLE'S COMMUNITY CONTROL OF MODERN TECHNOLOGY.
When, in the course of human events, it becomes necessary for rodents to dissolve the political bonds which have connected them with humans, and to assume, among the powers of the earth, the separate and equal station to which the laws of nature and nature's God entitle them, a decent respect to the opinions of squirrelkind requires that they should declare the causes which impel them to the separation.

We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all rodents are created equal; that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable rights; that among these are life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness. That to secure these rights, governments are instituted among squirrels, deriving their just powers from the consent of the governed; that, whenever any form of government becomes destructive of these ends, it is the right of rodents to alter or to abolish it, and to institute a new government, laying its foundation on such principles, and organizing its powers in such form as to them shall seem most likely to effect their safety and happiness. Prudence, indeed, will dictate that governments long established should not be changed for light and transient causes; and, accordingly, all experience hath shown that squirrelkind are most disposed to suffer, while evils are sufferable, than to right themselves by abolishing the forms to which they are accustomed. But, when a long train of abuses and usurpation, pursuing invariably the same object, evinces a design to reduce them under absolute despotism, it is their right, it is their duty, to throw off such government, and to provide new guards for their future security.

Now THAT is a squirrelifesto... Crypto, you keep this kinda good work up and I have a feeling they're gonna see you as a prospect.

theCryptofishist · Post by **theCryptofishist** » Mon Oct 18, 2004 4:13 pm

I wonder WHAT they are going to do with the clothing. I really do.

GuinivereElise · Post by **GuinivereElise** » Mon Oct 18, 2004 4:13 pm

I'm out ladies and gents. Look for me tomorrow in my new corset...

Ciao, bellas...

theCryptofishist · Post by **theCryptofishist** » Mon Oct 18, 2004 4:15 pm

[quote="GuinivereElise"]I'm out ladies and gents. Look for me tomorrow in my new corset.../quote]I hope the squirrels don't "liberate" it.

Rian Jackson · Post by **Rian Jackson** » Mon Oct 18, 2004 4:18 pm

theCryptofishist wrote:
GuinivereElise wrote:I'm out ladies and gents. Look for me tomorrow in my new corset.../quote]I hope the squirrels don't "liberate" it.

see halo??

thinkcooper · Post by **thinkcooper** » Mon Oct 18, 2004 4:19 pm

At the risk of getting the Bar off topic, check out this ebay auction...

Mummified Jackalope, a former friend to the squirrels

stuart · Post by **stuart** » Mon Oct 18, 2004 4:20 pm

3 to go

tisha2 · Post by **tisha2** » Mon Oct 18, 2004 4:23 pm

...*mumblegrumble*...goddamn squirels and sports and now jackalopes...*furgensnerf!*

...i'm out for the day, kids. bars yers Stuart.

theCryptofishist · Post by **theCryptofishist** » Mon Oct 18, 2004 4:24 pm

thinkcooper wrote:At the risk of getting the Bar off topic, check out this ebay auction...

Mummified Jackalope, a former friend to the squirrels

I believe you meant
Mummiafied Abdul Jackalope

thinkcooper · Post by **thinkcooper** » Mon Oct 18, 2004 4:29 pm

tisha2 wrote:...*mumblegrumble*...goddamn squirels and sports and now jackalopes...*furgensnerf!*

...i'm out for the day, kids. bars yers Stuart.

Stuart, not to be a pest, but can you dig me up a Raicilla, looks like Tisha's just ignoring me and she left the trough to you... I'm just starting to see blue trails and I still have a press release to write. I need something strong to ground me for a few hours. The revolution ain't patient, neither is the press...

stuart · Post by **stuart** » Mon Oct 18, 2004 4:30 pm

:waiting for Rian:

stuart · Post by **stuart** » Mon Oct 18, 2004 4:31 pm

Raicilla

sorry, I aint well versed as Tisha

I can point you to the

trough

though.

oh, o.k.. Let me get my google on

stuart · Post by **stuart** » Mon Oct 18, 2004 4:32 pm

my friend can help you with that

theCryptofishist · Post by **theCryptofishist** » Mon Oct 18, 2004 4:35 pm

So Juan Valdez has given up coffee and taken up the hard stuff?

stuart · Post by **stuart** » Mon Oct 18, 2004 4:36 pm

are you saying they all look alike to you?

theCryptofishist · Post by **theCryptofishist** » Mon Oct 18, 2004 4:39 pm

You're right. The lack of a burro should have been a clue.
*hangs head in shame*
I'm just not good with advertising icons. That corporate sheen that they give off clouds my mind.

stuart · Post by **stuart** » Mon Oct 18, 2004 4:50 pm

clouds my mind

I think that's intentional

samtzu · Post by **samtzu** » Mon Oct 18, 2004 4:51 pm

GuinivereElise wrote:Fishy, I'll give you all the attention you want! I'll even polish your scales for you, if you like. I'll be very gentle....

I think everyone's mellow--perhaps the weather has something to do with it? I know it's got me down, for sure and for certain. Or maybe it's just a monday and noone's on their game yet. I've noticed a certain leniency today, though. I expected to get flamed for the krispy kreme comment, and, as of yet, no takers.

Who the hell is this "noone" and what the hell kinda' game are they playing? And I'd flame you for the KK Koment, but... well, shit! You're right!
By the way, the back of my head is misshapened because of all the books that were thrown at me everytime I bounced around in my seat, hand flapping at the teacher, screaming, "Ohh! Ohh! Me! Me! I know that one!!" (By the way, after my military tour, I went back and hunted down everyone of those fuckers, backed them into a corner, and recited back to them every fucking answer that I knew that they didn't!)

Fuck... I'm in a pissy mood. What I need is something warm and cuddly to wrap myself around. How about a fuzzy navel... or a fuzzy Naval (also called a "Hey Sailor! Buy you a drink?")

theCryptofishist · Post by **theCryptofishist** » Mon Oct 18, 2004 4:54 pm

samtzu wrote: How about a fuzzy navel... or a fuzzy Naval (also called a "Hey Sailor! Buy you a drink?")

Just be careful that if a squirrel serves it to ya, that you check for explosives before drinking. We're not sure how much revolutionary ferver they have, but they did say "By any means nessesary."

stuart · Post by **stuart** » Mon Oct 18, 2004 4:55 pm

something warm and cuddly to wrap myself around

I'm a fluffy cloud

samtzu · Post by **samtzu** » Mon Oct 18, 2004 4:57 pm

theCryptofishist wrote:
thinkcooper wrote:At the risk of getting the Bar off topic, check out this ebay auction...

Mummified Jackalope, a former friend to the squirrels
I believe you meant
Mummiafied Abdul Jackalope

That is the best goddam entry I've ever seen on Ebay. I expect the price to go stratospheric in six days.