The Bar

samtzu · Post by **samtzu** » Mon Oct 18, 2004 5:01 pm

theCryptofishist wrote:
samtzu wrote: How about a fuzzy navel... or a fuzzy Naval (also called a "Hey Sailor! Buy you a drink?")
Just be careful that if a squirrel serves it to ya, that you check for explosives before drinking. We're not sure how much revolutionary ferver they have, but they did say "By any means nessesary."

Squirrels and have have a loose agreement... I leave their nuts alone, they leave mine alone
...Yeah! And It's worked for years... Hasn't it, guys?!...
Yup! ... Yup! .... No problem down here.... No, none at all.....

samtzu · Post by **samtzu** » Mon Oct 18, 2004 5:03 pm

That should read "Squirrels and I"

Makes more sense that way.... Yeah, pay attention, Bonehead....

thinkcooper · Post by **thinkcooper** » Mon Oct 18, 2004 5:17 pm

stuart wrote:my friend can help you with that

Nice. He looks like a man I could trust to buy my moonshine from.

As for the squirrels? I wouldn't trust 'em as far as I could fling 'em. We can use them for the revolution though. They're freaky little creatures, and they're ready to meet the great rocky as martyrs if they have to...

If you want to see why they're ready for the holy war, check out this mpeg...
Squirrel Skeet

thinkcooper · Post by **thinkcooper** » Mon Oct 18, 2004 5:22 pm

Quick warning on the above link MPG. It's not very kind. It makes the squirrels angry enough to call in re-inforcements from the sharpshooting kittens.

thinkcooper · Post by **thinkcooper** » Mon Oct 18, 2004 5:26 pm

thinkcooper wrote:Quick warning on the above link MPG. It's not very kind. It makes the squirrels angry enough to call in re-inforcements from the sharpshooting kittens.

One last thing, the squirrel lived.

I hate the lack of an edit button...

nipples · Post by **nipples** » Mon Oct 18, 2004 5:46 pm

Hmmm.. I made a hot toddie for GuinivereElise

~uses existing wrist cuffs on center pole to Velcro™ hot toddie Thermos™ in place.~

In the process, I decided that if I could be any animal in the world, I'd be a Toddie.

Regardling the recent chipmunk infestation & animal "appreciation".... how appreciative we might be of a dinosaur unstinct.

Failing that, how excited people would be if ANY animal they have never seen came to visit earth, or was discovered elsewhere by us. Look! A Slug!

Or how aliens to our planet appreciated the first live animal launched into outer-space....(Hmm, monkeys/rats are the most advanced animals on that planet below... Look, they even live in cages, tended by larger animals, their every want and whim!).

Arrgh. It hurts to think so much.
I'd like a Pabst Blue Ribbon tallboy if you have them still!

nipples · Post by **nipples** » Mon Oct 18, 2004 5:52 pm

~reaches into cnavas bag, leaking onto floor~

Ah-ha!

~pulls out PBR tall-boy, toungues dust-mud out from lip~

I gotta run out to my bike for a while.. forgot my smoke.
Keep the seat warm, eh!

sputnik · Post by **sputnik** » Mon Oct 18, 2004 6:28 pm

Hey all!

I need a beer, but this hot toddie will do just fine.

nipples · Post by **nipples** » Mon Oct 18, 2004 7:30 pm

my penis were huge
my heinous is purged
time for honest talk

~wipes tent walls splattered, sits with robbidobbs in corner~

paps · Post by **paps** » Mon Oct 18, 2004 7:37 pm

Hello, dear nipples.

You asked me once to step in,
will assume the position once again
regarding errant poetry attempts.

hey! Thanks!

~notices host licked PBR pop-top area free of mud... psshst!)

"my penis were huge
my heinous is purged
time for honest talk"

is nice, but includes "my" twice. fine for bathroom walls, but you scratched it in on the bar-top, fer crying out loud!

my penis were huge
that heinous is purged
time for honest talk

amnesia · Post by **amnesia** » Mon Oct 18, 2004 7:47 pm

hmmm.. also nice, but the word "that" includes a bridge to the prior line... does not "stand alone".

~licks bartenders tongue free of mud & stays for awhile, frenching~

damn heinous is purged

~grabs a lime and sucks~

Ah, that is much better... got my mojo workin'

Bambi of Finland · Post by **Bambi of Finland** » Mon Oct 18, 2004 8:25 pm

nipples wrote:my penis were huge
my heinous is purged
time for honest talk

~wipes tent walls splattered, sits with robbidobbs in corner~

Feeling inspired by poetry night at The Bar, Bambi sits in the dim room in beatnik shades and turtleneck clicking fingers rapidly.

cowboyangel · Post by **cowboyangel** » Mon Oct 18, 2004 8:35 pm

cowboy walks in , nearly in tears because he knows we are gonna do it!

I'll have the biggest tallest drink you can muster up bargirl!

nipples · Post by **nipples** » Mon Oct 18, 2004 8:35 pm

Hey, all I can say about people "mixing bits" is that they tend to go away. Lots of times they just disappear ~poof~.

touching an other
awaiting censor response
still waiting please hold

This calls for a Bloody Thumb!

1-ounce jack
1-bumper of rig
add gravity

amnesia · Post by **amnesia** » Mon Oct 18, 2004 8:46 pm

~slides Tall Amy down to CBAngel in truckers hat, carries warm branch-water in ceramic bowl before Bambi of Finland~

Hey! How you like my truckers hat?!

Anyways, I hear where you are coming from, my close teat nipples, but find the root word "wait" too prevalent in:

"touching an other
awaiting censor response
still waiting please hold "

would ask that you consider

touching an other
censoring our own response
still waiting please hold

or is that presumptuous of me, between you & paps & all?

nipples · Post by **nipples** » Mon Oct 18, 2004 8:51 pm

Hey, that's fine.

Whatever.

~nods bartender another~

nipples · Post by **nipples** » Mon Oct 18, 2004 8:54 pm

~slurps half of beer like ape, lower lip jutting, gulping, signals thanks with eyebrows arching to bartender~

Captain Goddammit · Post by **Captain Goddammit** » Mon Oct 18, 2004 8:58 pm

The Captain is here, with another fresh pitcher of margaritas!

nipples · Post by **nipples** » Mon Oct 18, 2004 9:02 pm

I suggested that at work we adopt the Gypsy recipe for chicken, the first item being "steal one chicken", and that we have a chicken coop out front with our own chickens in it.

You could tell if you were being the biggest ass of all, if your coop was always hit.

Maybe we could each have a different colored chicken, so as to wonder why.

~slams last of beer, notices bartender is gone, sulks~

nipples · Post by **nipples** » Mon Oct 18, 2004 9:03 pm

Yippeee! Margaritas!

nipples · Post by **nipples** » Mon Oct 18, 2004 9:19 pm

This place.... people come & go.

Least I have my sanity.

It is fruitless to worry freind or foe.
The answer is my desire.

It is not that they are fickle, but that I am just as certain.

Freind or foe? What will I be......

I hope people that fight stop make love instead,
and that people that make love fight so I can fuck them.

Sandwichman · Post by **Sandwichman** » Mon Oct 18, 2004 9:31 pm

Someone set me up with a good nightcap.

Jason

paps · Post by **paps** » Mon Oct 18, 2004 9:32 pm

Hmmm.

~drinks from Margarita pitcher~

"I hope people that fight stop make love instead,
and that people that make love fight so I can fuck them."

seems kinda greedy at the end....

nipples · Post by **nipples** » Mon Oct 18, 2004 9:37 pm

One "Good Night Cap" coming up!

~sets Dr. Suess style bed-cap in front of Sandwichman~

Hmm.. thanks for the tip, once again, sweet paps of mine.

so WE can ALL fuck

amnesia · Post by **amnesia** » Mon Oct 18, 2004 9:41 pm

Ha ha. Very funny.

I believe the man ordered a nightcap.....!

~mixes a Godfather, sets before Sandwichman expectantly~

and not to be a nit-pick, but would not
"so we can all fuck"
not be properly said

that we all may fuck (make love, etc....)?

nipples · Post by **nipples** » Mon Oct 18, 2004 9:47 pm

fine

now may we all fuck?

~goes in corner with bottle of whiskey, label mericfully off~

tisha2 · Post by **tisha2** » Mon Oct 18, 2004 10:26 pm

*gently shaking the giant bunny*

Nipples...? hey, you doin' okay bunnyman?

that's ok, honey...i can take over the bar..

whoops! bit of a storm out there tonight! if i disappear suddenly i've just been deprived of power source by mother nature. Whooo!!! it's hurly-burly out for sure! Getcher butts in here and warm this place up! I've got a round of hot toddies comin' right up, and some warm mulled wine on the coleman behind me.

can somebody get a fire goin' in that burn barrel please?

Sandwichman · Post by **Sandwichman** » Mon Oct 18, 2004 10:27 pm

I'll get the fire burning. Got lots of fuel tonight.

Jason

nipples · Post by **nipples** » Mon Oct 18, 2004 10:50 pm

Yes, I am fine.

Thanking you for query... shaken, please, not stirred.

~makes International Hand Symbol for Maritni~

nipples · Post by **nipples** » Mon Oct 18, 2004 10:53 pm

Martini, not maritni.

That would be fine though, too.