Avoid Anal Itch at Burning Man: A newcomers guide
Avoid Anal Itch at Burning Man: A newcomers guide
Anal Itch.
THERE, I said it.
Maybe you're not familiar with anal itch.. (sometimes known as a BURNING ANUS).
but if youre not the type that does a lot of activity in a burning hot desert with a buncha irritating dust all the time, you wouldnt be the type to be familiar with it, would you?
symptoms of anal itch include:
burning
itching
irritation
soreness
pain
you dont want any of these!
and guess what the problem is?!!?
here are some selected "causes" of anal itch:
stress
constipation
low stomach acid
food irritants
diarrhea
excessive moisture and sweating
chemical irritants
now.. i dont know about you, but if youve never been to burning man.. youll probably notice a lot of people are: sweating their asses off..... drinking out of nasty unclean water bottles.. eating from filthy dishes.. without running water.. and who probably dont want to shit in the blue potty because their ass is too precious.
THIS RECIPE IS AN ANAL ITCH DISASTER.
so... when you go to burning man remember :
-stay hydrated
-eat good food from clean dishes with fiber and substance.
-dont let your ass be all sweaty all day long
-wash yer ass!
-dont get all stressed out, youre on vacation.. people will be there to help
-dont be afraid to take a shit in the blue potty..it feels a lot better when you arent constipated
-bring some anus-friendly cream with aloe in it! (you might also use this stuff when your fingers and feet get all cracked and bleeding from the playa dust)
THERE, I said it.
Maybe you're not familiar with anal itch.. (sometimes known as a BURNING ANUS).
but if youre not the type that does a lot of activity in a burning hot desert with a buncha irritating dust all the time, you wouldnt be the type to be familiar with it, would you?
symptoms of anal itch include:
burning
itching
irritation
soreness
pain
you dont want any of these!
and guess what the problem is?!!?
here are some selected "causes" of anal itch:
stress
constipation
low stomach acid
food irritants
diarrhea
excessive moisture and sweating
chemical irritants
now.. i dont know about you, but if youve never been to burning man.. youll probably notice a lot of people are: sweating their asses off..... drinking out of nasty unclean water bottles.. eating from filthy dishes.. without running water.. and who probably dont want to shit in the blue potty because their ass is too precious.
THIS RECIPE IS AN ANAL ITCH DISASTER.
so... when you go to burning man remember :
-stay hydrated
-eat good food from clean dishes with fiber and substance.
-dont let your ass be all sweaty all day long
-wash yer ass!
-dont get all stressed out, youre on vacation.. people will be there to help
-dont be afraid to take a shit in the blue potty..it feels a lot better when you arent constipated
-bring some anus-friendly cream with aloe in it! (you might also use this stuff when your fingers and feet get all cracked and bleeding from the playa dust)
Don't link to anything here!
- Krokodyle
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Re: Avoid Anal Itch at Burning Man: A newcomers guide
Wow...
Just...wow.
But, I have to say, thanks. I would never had considered this.
Just...wow.
But, I have to say, thanks. I would never had considered this.
I can't help it, I'm a born lever-puller.
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Re: Avoid Anal Itch at Burning Man: A newcomers guide
Thanks Dr Lemur
Good advice - my anus remains fine but what about chafed and or itchy bollocks?
Loose, tight underwear? Synthetic or natural?
Do we need photos for an accurate diagnosis?
Good advice - my anus remains fine but what about chafed and or itchy bollocks?
Loose, tight underwear? Synthetic or natural?
Do we need photos for an accurate diagnosis?
- ygmir
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Re: Avoid Anal Itch at Burning Man: A newcomers guide
great post lemur!!
y'know, folks avoid delicate subjects like this, and yet how helpful, for new folks, or even folks who've been but not experienced.
Thank you, good sir!
I've found my spritzing solution (30% rubbing alcohol with water in a spray bottle) is not only a great cooling solution, but, can be a "quick cleanser" for area subject to chafing and or sweating.
A spritz and a towel dry. Not only for myself, but am always willing to help others.
y'know, folks avoid delicate subjects like this, and yet how helpful, for new folks, or even folks who've been but not experienced.
Thank you, good sir!
I've found my spritzing solution (30% rubbing alcohol with water in a spray bottle) is not only a great cooling solution, but, can be a "quick cleanser" for area subject to chafing and or sweating.
A spritz and a towel dry. Not only for myself, but am always willing to help others.
YGMIR
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- EspressoDude
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Re: Avoid Anal Itch at Burning Man: A newcomers guide
commando, alcohol/cleansing wipes or aloe (with alcohol) after the blue room, baby powder (corn starch not talcum)
Is 4 shots enuff? no foo-foo drinks; just naked Espresso
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- VultureChow
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Re: Avoid Anal Itch at Burning Man: A newcomers guide
Let me suggest chafing creme or gel if the itchy redness is less about the starfish and more about the cheeks.
Also works great on thunder thighs like mine.
Also works great on thunder thighs like mine.
Sic Semper Spectatores
- unjonharley
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Re: Avoid Anal Itch at Burning Man: A newcomers guide
Grandfather showed me a trick for bike seat rash.. Just corn starch, applied with an old style powder puff. He told me he learned this in the Marines . For those nice 20 mile walks they went on
- trilobyte
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Re: Avoid Anal Itch at Burning Man: A newcomers guide
Don't forget a closely related condition. Working hard on the playa? Don't let that sweaty crack get out of control, or you'll find yourself with SWAMP ASS
- PhoenixFemmeFatale
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Re: Avoid Anal Itch at Burning Man: A newcomers guide
ygmir wrote:great post lemur!!
y'know, folks avoid delicate subjects like this, and yet how helpful, for new folks, or even folks who've been but not experienced.
Thank you, good sir!
I've found my spritzing solution (30% rubbing alcohol with water in a spray bottle) is not only a great cooling solution, but, can be a "quick cleanser" for area subject to chafing and or sweating.
A spritz and a towel dry. Not only for myself, but am always willing to help others.
OMG! You're TOUGH! Sounds like that would burn like a slingshot into HELL if you're spraying it on tender light lacking areas!
As for the rest of this thred.... TMI! But valuable and informative. My gutter brain won't stop laughing like Beavis and Butthead while I'm reading this tho!

"I hitched a ride with a vending machine repair man
He says he's been down this road more than twice
He was high on intellectualism
I've never been there but the brochure looks nice"
He says he's been down this road more than twice
He was high on intellectualism
I've never been there but the brochure looks nice"
- unjonharley
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Re: Avoid Anal Itch at Burning Man: A newcomers guide
trilobyte wrote:Don't forget a closely related condition. Working hard on the playa? Don't let that sweaty crack get out of control, or you'll find yourself with SWAMP ASS
LOL, Grandfather uses that expression.
- ygmir
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Re: Avoid Anal Itch at Burning Man: A newcomers guide
PhoenixFemmeFatale wrote:ygmir wrote:great post lemur!!
y'know, folks avoid delicate subjects like this, and yet how helpful, for new folks, or even folks who've been but not experienced.
Thank you, good sir!
I've found my spritzing solution (30% rubbing alcohol with water in a spray bottle) is not only a great cooling solution, but, can be a "quick cleanser" for area subject to chafing and or sweating.
A spritz and a towel dry. Not only for myself, but am always willing to help others.
OMG! You're TOUGH! Sounds like that would burn like a slingshot into HELL if you're spraying it on tender light lacking areas!
As for the rest of this thred.... TMI! But valuable and informative. My gutter brain won't stop laughing like Beavis and Butthead while I'm reading this tho!
well, I do have a pretty high pain threshold. But, at 1/3 rubbing (70%) alcohol to water, really not
so strong.
YGMIR
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- unjonharley
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Re: Avoid Anal Itch at Burning Man: A newcomers guide
ygmir wrote:
As for the rest of this thred.... TMI! But valuable and informative. My gutter brain won't stop laughing like Beavis and Butthead while I'm reading this tho!
well, I do have a pretty high pain threshold. But, at 1/3 rubbing (70%) alcohol to water, really not
so strong.[/quote]
And I say "up'a you ass"
- BBadger
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Re: Avoid Anal Itch at Burning Man: A newcomers guide
Remember that your anus is going to be itching a bit if you rip some fissures in the rectum due to hard turds. Nothing worse than seeing a red stripe on that long turd you shat out! The best solution to this is to ensure you eat right and have all the vitamins to keep your shit smooth. My most important weapon against hard shit (besides water and vegis/fruit) is magnesium supplements. I've found that the regular magnesium oxide work best for this because it doesn't absorb quite as well as the chelated variety. In other words, it helps soften your stool instead of just helping your body through minerals.
Oh and aside from softening your shit, magnesium is great for combating cramps! Say you're pedaling all night and then decide to walk around in the cold. Your muscles are going to feel like shit! That mag helps loosen your muscles and sleep better at night too! Add that shit to your bag next time!
Oh and aside from softening your shit, magnesium is great for combating cramps! Say you're pedaling all night and then decide to walk around in the cold. Your muscles are going to feel like shit! That mag helps loosen your muscles and sleep better at night too! Add that shit to your bag next time!
"The essence of tyranny is not iron law. It is capricious law." -- Christopher Hitchens
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Re: Avoid Anal Itch at Burning Man: A newcomers guide
I would speculate that enough playa dust is ingested to get all the magnesium you would need in your diet. If not, a little extra playa supplement would probably do the trick.
The next morning you will wake up pretty much your old self except that a very unusual 16 hours will have been added to your store of life experience.
- unjonharley
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Re: Avoid Anal Itch at Burning Man: A newcomers guide
Now now.. Don't try to out do the Badger.. He knows his ass holes.. Being one and all..
- BBadger
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Re: Avoid Anal Itch at Burning Man: A newcomers guide
Hey! 

"The essence of tyranny is not iron law. It is capricious law." -- Christopher Hitchens
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Re: Avoid Anal Itch at Burning Man: A newcomers guide

that is exactly how i would look after spraying (any amount of) rubbing alcohol on an itchy, irritated ass! OUCH!
"Settle down you two and play nice - or no dubstep for either." mdmf007
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- PhoenixFemmeFatale
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Re: Avoid Anal Itch at Burning Man: A newcomers guide
Asquared wrote::shock:
that is exactly how i would look after spraying (any amount of) rubbing alcohol on an itchy, irritated ass! OUCH!
My thoughts exactly! HA!
"I hitched a ride with a vending machine repair man
He says he's been down this road more than twice
He was high on intellectualism
I've never been there but the brochure looks nice"
He says he's been down this road more than twice
He was high on intellectualism
I've never been there but the brochure looks nice"
Re: Avoid Anal Itch at Burning Man: A newcomers guide
EspressoDude wrote:commando, alcohol/cleansing wipes or aloe (with alcohol) after the blue room, baby powder (corn starch not talcum)
Agreed, cornstarch baby powder is a wonderful thing. I bring travel-size extras every year.
. . . Great thread, lemur.

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- VultureChow
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Re: Avoid Anal Itch at Burning Man: A newcomers guide
And I think the alcohol would hurt rather than help. It might clean the area, but it kills off exposed cells and dries out the skin. So if you have an open rash or chafing, the alcohol would kill off new skin growth. The reason why, after the burn, wounds or rashes may feel better is that you're killing off exposed nerve cells. Alcohol makes a wound heal slower than just keeping it clean and moist behind a bandage.
However, internal application of alcohol makes everything better.
However, internal application of alcohol makes everything better.
Sic Semper Spectatores
- unjonharley
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Re: Avoid Anal Itch at Burning Man: A newcomers guide
after six kids, we hate the odor of baby powder.. I buy corn starch from the bulk bins..
- ygmir
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Re: Avoid Anal Itch at Burning Man: A newcomers guide
next thing you're going to tell me is to not use the 7% horse iodine I use as disinfectant .........now yeah, that burns, and with tender skin, takes a layer right off! But, I've not had an injury treated with it, get infected......yet........
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- Turtleburp
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Re: Avoid Anal Itch at Burning Man: A newcomers guide
Yggy! Pissed myself [eng. trans. laughing very hard not I repeat not angry
] reading those comments!
There is a nice talc and cornstarch product made in the US called Curash I plan to get some more while over.
With you on the Magnesium too - anyone else taking long term Proton pump inhibitors for chronic heartburn it is a must!
However for the perfect stool and the smoothest feel, its chef Boyardee for every meal!

There is a nice talc and cornstarch product made in the US called Curash I plan to get some more while over.
With you on the Magnesium too - anyone else taking long term Proton pump inhibitors for chronic heartburn it is a must!
However for the perfect stool and the smoothest feel, its chef Boyardee for every meal!
- Turtleburp
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Re: Avoid Anal Itch at Burning Man: A newcomers guide
VultureChow wrote:And I think the alcohol would hurt rather than help. It might clean the area, but it kills off exposed cells and dries out the skin. So if you have an open rash or chafing, the alcohol would kill off new skin growth. The reason why, after the burn, wounds or rashes may feel better is that you're killing off exposed nerve cells. Alcohol makes a wound heal slower than just keeping it clean and moist behind a bandage.
However, internal application of alcohol makes everything better.
Especially medical grade martini!
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Re: Avoid Anal Itch at Burning Man: A newcomers guide
ah Alcohol as a reward for getting injured. brilliant!
............................................
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Re: Avoid Anal Itch at Burning Man: A newcomers guide
a lillte Monkey Butt powder down the crack & under the boobs does WONDERS! hummmm that might make a good gift. a powdering station. 

don't forget to floss
- ygmir
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Re: Avoid Anal Itch at Burning Man: A newcomers guide
Boijoy wrote:a lillte Monkey Butt powder down the crack & under the boobs does WONDERS! hummmm that might make a good gift. a powdering station.
*volunteer helper*

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Re: Avoid Anal Itch at Burning Man: A newcomers guide
Not being allowed to put wet wipes in the porta potties does present a challenge for cleanup after business. Bring your water bottle in with you, and wet a generous wad of toilet paper to serve for mop-up duty between wipes with dry paper. Will the Hiney Hygiene Station be returning for 2013? They might have some handy tips.
An interesting read:
http://ucvlog.com/2011/06/29/from-corncobs-to-charmin-the-history-of-toilet-paper/
An interesting read:
http://ucvlog.com/2011/06/29/from-corncobs-to-charmin-the-history-of-toilet-paper/
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- unjonharley
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Re: Avoid Anal Itch at Burning Man: A newcomers guide
As for cleaning your rear in the port a pots.. Just be lucky for the one ply TP.. It could be one corn cob on a string.
- BBadger
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Re: Avoid Anal Itch at Burning Man: A newcomers guide
Turtleburp wrote:However for the perfect stool and the smoothest feel, its chef Boyardee for every meal!
Gives new meaning to "Thank goodness for Chef Boyardee!"
On another note, bring some Neosporin (or whatever generic brand you like) and dab some over your suffering orifice. It's a nice medicating balm, and keeps things from drying out and cracking due to movement. Also good for cuts in general.
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