Avoid Anal Itch at Burning Man: A newcomers guide

[lemur]

Anal Itch.

THERE, I said it.

Maybe you're not familiar with anal itch.. (sometimes known as a BURNING ANUS).

but if youre not the type that does a lot of activity in a burning hot desert with a buncha irritating dust all the time, you wouldnt be the type to be familiar with it, would you?

symptoms of anal itch include:

burning
itching
irritation
soreness
pain


you dont want any of these!

and guess what the problem is?!!?

here are some selected "causes" of anal itch:

stress
constipation
low stomach acid
food irritants
diarrhea
excessive moisture and sweating
chemical irritants



now.. i dont know about you, but if youve never been to burning man.. youll probably notice a lot of people are: sweating their asses off..... drinking out of nasty unclean water bottles.. eating from filthy dishes.. without running water.. and who probably dont want to shit in the blue potty because their ass is too precious.

THIS RECIPE IS AN ANAL ITCH DISASTER.


so... when you go to burning man remember :

-stay hydrated

-eat good food from clean dishes with fiber and substance.

-dont let your ass be all sweaty all day long

-wash yer ass!

-dont get all stressed out, youre on vacation.. people will be there to help

-dont be afraid to take a shit in the blue potty..it feels a lot better when you arent constipated

-bring some anus-friendly cream with aloe in it! (you might also use this stuff when your fingers and feet get all cracked and bleeding from the playa dust)

[Krokodyle]

Wow...

Just...wow.

But, I have to say, thanks. I would never had considered this.

[Turtleburp]

Thanks Dr Lemur

Good advice - my anus remains fine but what about chafed and or itchy bollocks?

Loose, tight underwear? Synthetic or natural?

Do we need photos for an accurate diagnosis?

[ygmir]

great post lemur!!
y'know, folks avoid delicate subjects like this, and yet how helpful, for new folks, or even folks who've been but not experienced.
Thank you, good sir!

I've found my spritzing solution (30% rubbing alcohol with water in a spray bottle) is not only a great cooling solution, but, can be a "quick cleanser" for area subject to chafing and or sweating.
A spritz and a towel dry. Not only for myself, but am always willing to help others.

[EspressoDude]

commando, alcohol/cleansing wipes or aloe (with alcohol) after the blue room, baby powder (corn starch not talcum)

[VultureChow]

Let me suggest chafing creme or gel if the itchy redness is less about the starfish and more about the cheeks.

Also works great on thunder thighs like mine.

[unjonharley]

Grandfather showed me a trick for bike seat rash.. Just corn starch, applied with an old style powder puff. He told me he learned this in the Marines . For those nice 20 mile walks they went on

[trilobyte]

Don't forget a closely related condition. Working hard on the playa? Don't let that sweaty crack get out of control, or you'll find yourself with SWAMP ASS

[PhoenixFemmeFatale]

great post lemur!!
y'know, folks avoid delicate subjects like this, and yet how helpful, for new folks, or even folks who've been but not experienced.
Thank you, good sir!

I've found my spritzing solution (30% rubbing alcohol with water in a spray bottle) is not only a great cooling solution, but, can be a "quick cleanser" for area subject to chafing and or sweating.
A spritz and a towel dry. Not only for myself, but am always willing to help others.

OMG! You're TOUGH! Sounds like that would burn like a slingshot into HELL if you're spraying it on tender light lacking areas!

As for the rest of this thred.... TMI! But valuable and informative. My gutter brain won't stop laughing like Beavis and Butthead while I'm reading this tho!

[unjonharley]

Don't forget a closely related condition. Working hard on the playa? Don't let that sweaty crack get out of control, or you'll find yourself with SWAMP ASS

LOL, Grandfather uses that expression.

[ygmir]

great post lemur!!
y'know, folks avoid delicate subjects like this, and yet how helpful, for new folks, or even folks who've been but not experienced.
Thank you, good sir!

I've found my spritzing solution (30% rubbing alcohol with water in a spray bottle) is not only a great cooling solution, but, can be a "quick cleanser" for area subject to chafing and or sweating.
A spritz and a towel dry. Not only for myself, but am always willing to help others.

OMG! You're TOUGH! Sounds like that would burn like a slingshot into HELL if you're spraying it on tender light lacking areas!

As for the rest of this thred.... TMI! But valuable and informative. My gutter brain won't stop laughing like Beavis and Butthead while I'm reading this tho!

well, I do have a pretty high pain threshold. But, at 1/3 rubbing (70%) alcohol to water, really not
so strong.

[unjonharley]

As for the rest of this thred.... TMI! But valuable and informative. My gutter brain won't stop laughing like Beavis and Butthead while I'm reading this tho!

well, I do have a pretty high pain threshold. But, at 1/3 rubbing (70%) alcohol to water, really not
so strong.[/quote]

And I say "up'a you ass"

[BBadger]

Remember that your anus is going to be itching a bit if you rip some fissures in the rectum due to hard turds. Nothing worse than seeing a red stripe on that long turd you shat out! The best solution to this is to ensure you eat right and have all the vitamins to keep your shit smooth. My most important weapon against hard shit (besides water and vegis/fruit) is magnesium supplements. I've found that the regular magnesium oxide work best for this because it doesn't absorb quite as well as the chelated variety. In other words, it helps soften your stool instead of just helping your body through minerals.

Oh and aside from softening your shit, magnesium is great for combating cramps! Say you're pedaling all night and then decide to walk around in the cold. Your muscles are going to feel like shit! That mag helps loosen your muscles and sleep better at night too! Add that shit to your bag next time!

[BeeWeeDee]

I would speculate that enough playa dust is ingested to get all the magnesium you would need in your diet. If not, a little extra playa supplement would probably do the trick.

[unjonharley]

Now now.. Don't try to out do the Badger.. He knows his ass holes.. Being one and all..

[BBadger]

Hey!

[Asquared]

that is exactly how i would look after spraying (any amount of) rubbing alcohol on an itchy, irritated ass! OUCH!

[PhoenixFemmeFatale]

:shock:

that is exactly how i would look after spraying (any amount of) rubbing alcohol on an itchy, irritated ass! OUCH!

My thoughts exactly! HA!

[Savannah]

commando, alcohol/cleansing wipes or aloe (with alcohol) after the blue room, baby powder (corn starch not talcum)

Agreed, cornstarch baby powder is a wonderful thing. I bring travel-size extras every year.



. . . Great thread, lemur.

[VultureChow]

And I think the alcohol would hurt rather than help. It might clean the area, but it kills off exposed cells and dries out the skin. So if you have an open rash or chafing, the alcohol would kill off new skin growth. The reason why, after the burn, wounds or rashes may feel better is that you're killing off exposed nerve cells. Alcohol makes a wound heal slower than just keeping it clean and moist behind a bandage.

However, internal application of alcohol makes everything better.

[unjonharley]

after six kids, we hate the odor of baby powder.. I buy corn starch from the bulk bins..

[ygmir]

next thing you're going to tell me is to not use the 7% horse iodine I use as disinfectant .........now yeah, that burns, and with tender skin, takes a layer right off! But, I've not had an injury treated with it, get infected......yet........

[Turtleburp]

Yggy! Pissed myself [eng. trans. laughing very hard not I repeat not angry ] reading those comments!

There is a nice talc and cornstarch product made in the US called Curash I plan to get some more while over.

With you on the Magnesium too - anyone else taking long term Proton pump inhibitors for chronic heartburn it is a must!

However for the perfect stool and the smoothest feel, its chef Boyardee for every meal!

[Turtleburp]

And I think the alcohol would hurt rather than help. It might clean the area, but it kills off exposed cells and dries out the skin. So if you have an open rash or chafing, the alcohol would kill off new skin growth. The reason why, after the burn, wounds or rashes may feel better is that you're killing off exposed nerve cells. Alcohol makes a wound heal slower than just keeping it clean and moist behind a bandage.

However, internal application of alcohol makes everything better.

Especially medical grade martini!

[knowmad]

ah Alcohol as a reward for getting injured. brilliant!

[Boijoy]

a lillte Monkey Butt powder down the crack & under the boobs does WONDERS! hummmm that might make a good gift. a powdering station.

[ygmir]

a lillte Monkey Butt powder down the crack & under the boobs does WONDERS! hummmm that might make a good gift. a powdering station.

*volunteer helper*

[CornMan]

Not being allowed to put wet wipes in the porta potties does present a challenge for cleanup after business. Bring your water bottle in with you, and wet a generous wad of toilet paper to serve for mop-up duty between wipes with dry paper. Will the Hiney Hygiene Station be returning for 2013? They might have some handy tips.

An interesting read:
http://ucvlog.com/2011/06/29/from-corncobs-to-charmin-the-history-of-toilet-paper/

[unjonharley]

As for cleaning your rear in the port a pots.. Just be lucky for the one ply TP.. It could be one corn cob on a string.

[BBadger]

However for the perfect stool and the smoothest feel, its chef Boyardee for every meal!

Gives new meaning to "Thank goodness for Chef Boyardee!"

On another note, bring some Neosporin (or whatever generic brand you like) and dab some over your suffering orifice. It's a nice medicating balm, and keeps things from drying out and cracking due to movement. Also good for cuts in general.