What you should bring to Burning Man.

[Audio Sam Ego]

There's been a lot of posts asking for advice on what you should bring to Burning Man. I was going to comment on one,but decided to make my own post. Here goes:
Bring all the things! Bring everything! Bring stuff you don't even own yet. Pack all of it. Rent a trailer, you'll need it. Bring stuff you think you would never use; parkas, snowboard, a saddle, scuba tanks, glue traps, wildebeest chow, 5000 spoons, ceiling fans, sprinkler heads, dryer sheets, old lady underwear, weed killer, vinyl record albums, etc. Don't forget electrical tape. Lots of it. Make sure you have at least 3 of everything; one will break, one will get stolen but you will still have one left. Then get water, lots of it. Put it in containers of all shapes. Pack it into every conceivable nook and cranny. If there's a hole the size of a pop bottle, get a pop bottle, fill it with water and put it in the hole. After you get it all loaded, make sure you have tarps. You need tarps not only to cover your stuff, but to use as shade when you get there. About 73 of them should do. You'll need good rope, not that cheap natural fiber crap. Something high tech and really expensive, resistant to extreme sun, abrasions, and alkalines. About 8462 feet of it. Dye it brown so it looks like natural fiber and your neighbors will think you're a friend of the earth. Cover everything with tarps and tie it down with plenty of knots. Drive the vehicle to the local Walmart parking lot and run over all the parking bumpers to ensure the load is secure enough to handle the entrance to Burning Man. Then go back home and unload everything into your garage so it's ready to go at the end of August. Don't worry, you'll be fine. Have a great Burn!

[Captain Goddammit]

That's an excellent list, especially from a relative newcomer.
But you forgot tequila and pickle juice.

[Audio Sam Ego]

Somebody had the gall to inform me I had forgotten duct tape. I have never seen duct tape used on the Playa, have never used it myself, and furthermore, don't know anybody who would. I can't imagine why you'd want to bring it. Use that space in your vehicle for something necessary, like a trolling motor or some bacon scented shoe trees.

[lemur]

I KNOW HOW TO HANDLE A JOHNSON

[maladroit]

You should actually bring a kitchen sink, if nothing else.

[International Incident]

Vegemite

[maladroit]

Vegemite

Or the American equivalent: Hidden Valley Ranch Dressing.

[BBadger]

No burn is complete without a Linotype machine to satisfy one's machine porn needs.

[media]

[Tiahaar]

be sure and bring your own bowling ball and shoes if you want a decent score on the lanes

[Captain Goddammit]

be sure and bring your own bowling ball and shoes if you want a decent score on the lanes

Well yeah but you have that in your new bus, don't you?

[Dr. Pyro]

That's a stupid list. Not a single mention of a Barbie doll. Or absinthe.

[AntiM]

Raw cookie dough?

[mgb327]

Stinkos' squeaky-ball....and some tax forms.

[FIGJAM]

Don't go anywhere without my Swiss Army Kamikaze Ashtray!

[forty_eight]

sticky it, already

[Earthwalker]

Bring the door to a wood stove and insert it under your shirt in case you encounter some banditos and they try to shoot you with their six-guns

[BBadger]

Screen doors. Always.

[theCryptofishist]

Bring the door to a wood stove and insert it under your shirt in case you encounter some banditos and they try to shoot you with their six-guns

Ffffft! Bring a suitably macho screwdriver and take one from the jots.

[ranger magnum]

A heated kidney shaped pool
A microwave oven (dont watch the food cook)
A Dyna Gym - I'll personally demonstrate it in the privacy of your own home
A king size, Titanic unsinkable Molly Brown water bed with polybendum
A fool proof plan
An air tight alibi
Real simulated Indian jewelry
A Gucci shoe tree
A years supply of antibiotics
An autographed picture of Randy Mantooth
Bob Dylans unlisted phone number
A beautifully restored Third Reich swizzle stick
Rosemary's baby
A dream date in knee pads with Paul Williams
A new Matador
A new Mastodon
A Maverick
A Mustang
A Montego
A Merc Montclair
A Mark IV
A meteor
A Mercedes
An MG
a Malibu
A Mort Moriarty
A Maserati
A Mac Truck
A Mazda
A Monzo
A Moped
A Winnebego, hell a herd of Winnebegos, we're givin them away
A Mc Culloch chain saw
A Las Vegas weddong
A Mexican divorce
A solid gold Kama Sutra coffe pot
Or a babys arm holding an apple

[ygmir]

A heated kidney shaped pool
A microwave oven (dont watch the food cook)
A Dyna Gym - I'll personally demonstrate it in the privacy of your own home
A king size, Titanic unsinkable Molly Brown water bed with polybendum
A fool proof plan
An air tight alibi
Real simulated Indian jewelry
A Gucci shoe tree
A years supply of antibiotics
An autographed picture of Randy Mantooth
Bob Dylans unlisted phone number
A beautifully restored Third Reich swizzle stick
Rosemary's baby
A dream date in knee pads with Paul Williams
A new Matador
A new Mastodon
A Maverick
A Mustang
A Montego
A Merc Montclair
A Mark IV
A meteor
A Mercedes
An MG
a Malibu
A Mort Moriarty
A Maserati
A Mac Truck
A Mazda
A Monzo
A Moped
A Winnebego, hell a herd of Winnebegos, we're givin them away
A Mc Culloch chain saw
A Las Vegas weddong
A Mexican divorce
A solid gold Kama Sutra coffe pot
Or a babys arm holding an apple

what do you want from life?

[theCryptofishist]

A heated kidney shaped pool
A microwave oven (dont watch the food cook)
A Dyna Gym - I'll personally demonstrate it in the privacy of your own home
A king size, Titanic unsinkable Molly Brown water bed with polybendum
A fool proof plan
An air tight alibi
Real simulated Indian jewelry
A Gucci shoe tree
A years supply of antibiotics
An autographed picture of Randy Mantooth
Bob Dylans unlisted phone number
A beautifully restored Third Reich swizzle stick
Rosemary's baby
A dream date in knee pads with Paul Williams
A new Matador
A new Mastodon
A Maverick
A Mustang
A Montego
A Merc Montclair
A Mark IV
A meteor
A Mercedes
An MG
a Malibu
A Mort Moriarty
A Maserati
A Mac Truck
A Mazda
A Monzo
A Moped
A Winnebego, hell a herd of Winnebegos, we're givin them away
A Mc Culloch chain saw
A Las Vegas weddong
A Mexican divorce
A solid gold Kama Sutra coffe pot
Or a babys arm holding an apple

what do you want from life?

So nice to see an appreciation for the classics.

[ygmir]

A heated kidney shaped pool
A microwave oven (dont watch the food cook)
A Dyna Gym - I'll personally demonstrate it in the privacy of your own home
A king size, Titanic unsinkable Molly Brown water bed with polybendum
A fool proof plan
An air tight alibi
Real simulated Indian jewelry
A Gucci shoe tree
A years supply of antibiotics
An autographed picture of Randy Mantooth
Bob Dylans unlisted phone number
A beautifully restored Third Reich swizzle stick
Rosemary's baby
A dream date in knee pads with Paul Williams
A new Matador
A new Mastodon
A Maverick
A Mustang
A Montego
A Merc Montclair
A Mark IV
A meteor
A Mercedes
An MG
a Malibu
A Mort Moriarty
A Maserati
A Mac Truck
A Mazda
A Monzo
A Moped
A Winnebego, hell a herd of Winnebegos, we're givin them away
A Mc Culloch chain saw
A Las Vegas weddong
A Mexican divorce
A solid gold Kama Sutra coffe pot
Or a babys arm holding an apple

what do you want from life?

So nice to see an appreciation for the classics.

another good one on that: Roundabout. indeed, classics.

[Krokodyle]

A heated kidney shaped pool
A microwave oven (dont watch the food cook)
A Dyna Gym - I'll personally demonstrate it in the privacy of your own home
A king size, Titanic unsinkable Molly Brown water bed with polybendum
A fool proof plan
An air tight alibi
Real simulated Indian jewelry
A Gucci shoe tree
A years supply of antibiotics
An autographed picture of Randy Mantooth
Bob Dylans unlisted phone number
A beautifully restored Third Reich swizzle stick
Rosemary's baby
A dream date in knee pads with Paul Williams
A new Matador
A new Mastodon
A Maverick
A Mustang
A Montego
A Merc Montclair
A Mark IV
A meteor
A Mercedes
An MG
a Malibu
A Mort Moriarty
A Maserati
A Mac Truck
A Mazda
A Monzo
A Moped
A Winnebego, hell a herd of Winnebegos, we're givin them away
A Mc Culloch chain saw
A Las Vegas weddong
A Mexican divorce
A solid gold Kama Sutra coffe pot
Or a babys arm holding an apple

Nice one!

[tummler]

Just when I thought eplaya had yielded all the necessaries!