Why Did The Chicken Cross The Road?..................

Rabbi Dali Rick · Post by **Rabbi Dali Rick** » Mon Oct 18, 2004 9:37 am

JOHN KERRY
Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am now against it!

RALPH NADER
The chicken's habitat on the other side of the road had been polluted by unchecked industrial greed. The chicken did not reach the unspoiled habitat on the other side of the road because it was crushed by the wheels of a gas-guzzling SUV.

GEORGE W BUSH
We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road, or not. The chicken is either against us, or for us. There is no middle ground here.

HANS BLIX
We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet been
allowed to have access to the other side of the road.

PAT BUCHANAN
To steal the job of a decent, hardworking Americans.

RUSH LIMBAUGH
I don't know why the chicken crossed the road, but I'll bet it was getting a government grant to cross the road, and I'll bet that somebody out there is already forming a support group to help chickens with crossing-the-road syndrome. Can you believe this?!? How much more of this can real Americans take? Chickens crossing the road paid for by their tax dollars. And when I say tax dollars, I'm talking about your money, money the government took from you to build a road for chickens to cross.

MARTHA STEWART
No one called me to warn me which way that chicken was going. I had a standing order at the Farmer's Market to sell my eggs when the price dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me any insider information.

DR SEUSS
Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes, the chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed I've not been told.

ERNEST HEMINGWAY
To die in the rain. Alone.

MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR
I envision a world where all chickens will be free to cross roads without having their motives called into question.

GRANDPA
In my day, we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough.

BARBARA WALTERS
Isn't that interesting? In a few moments, we will be listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heartwarming story of how it experienced a serious case of molting, and went on to accomplish its life long dream of crossing the road.

JOHN LENNON
Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roads together - in peace.

ARISTOTLE
It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.

KARL MARX
It was an historic inevitability.

CAPTAIN KIRK
To boldly go where no chicken has ever gone before.

BILL GATES
I have just witnessed eChicken2003, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your checkbook. Internet explorer is an integral part of eChicken.

ALBERT EINSTEIN
Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the chicken?

BILL CLINTON
I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What is your definition of chicken?

AL GORE
I invented the chicken!

COLONEL SANDERS
Did I miss one?

"Chickens need Love Too..."

featherly,
the rebbi

Simply Joel · Post by **Simply Joel** » Mon Oct 18, 2004 10:12 am

Beavis and Butthead:
Uh huh huh huh . . . you said chicken.

Simply Joel · Post by **Simply Joel** » Mon Oct 18, 2004 10:22 am

Bob Dylan wrote: How many roads must one chicken cross?

Rabbi Dali Rick · Post by **Rabbi Dali Rick** » Mon Oct 18, 2004 5:25 pm

scruffyboy · Post by **scruffyboy** » Mon Oct 18, 2004 11:10 pm

Hey I live in Key West, they ALWAYS cross the road[color=red][/color][size=24][/size]

samtzu · Post by **samtzu** » Tue Oct 19, 2004 5:33 am

Who put that road there in the first place? Why was the chicken forced to traverse a hazardous area? Chickens don't know from roads... it was just minding it's own chicken business, when, wham! Right in the middle of it's quest for food, some idiot plants a rock like substance that the chicken must cross... or die of starvation! It's primate superiority, primate bigotry, at it's worst. If you want to know what this world is coming to, well, this is it in a nutshell.... too many roads, not enough chickens.

Why did the chicken cross the road? I'll tell ya'... it was too far to walk around it.

blyslv · Post by **blyslv** » Tue Oct 19, 2004 9:33 am

RAVER: 'cuz that's where he left his X?

HIPPIE: Are you going to eat that chicken?

Long Time BMOrg member: Do you know who I am?

LEO: I can't be bothered right now. I'm on a mission.

Wide eyed newbie: Ohmigawd he did? That's so amazing.

Jaded Old Timer: Last year the chicken crossed with much more elan.

scruffyboy · Post by **scruffyboy** » Tue Oct 19, 2004 10:37 am

Cause he was stapled to tha punker

cowboyangel · Post by **cowboyangel** » Tue Oct 19, 2004 3:41 pm

because he had to watch Red Sox baseball at the sports bar on the other side

why else?

Alpha · Post by **Alpha** » Tue Oct 19, 2004 4:03 pm

lookin' to score some e

samtzu · Post by **samtzu** » Tue Oct 19, 2004 4:32 pm

One word: Trebuchet

thinkcooper · Post by **thinkcooper** » Tue Oct 19, 2004 4:47 pm

Roads? Where we're going we don't need roads.

theCryptofishist · Post by **theCryptofishist** » Wed Oct 20, 2004 9:20 am

Chicken was on her way to Freedom!

Simply Joel · Post by **Simply Joel** » Wed Oct 20, 2004 9:51 am

cowboyangel wrote:because he had to watch Red Sox baseball at the sports bar on the other side

why else?

unfortunately, the sports bar served wings...

Rian Jackson · Post by **Rian Jackson** » Wed Oct 20, 2004 9:56 am

samtzu wrote:One word: Trebuchet

Fishy wrote:Chicken was on her way to Freedom!

as the current lone chicken representative (where are you, chikenfish? and are you the halfbreed child of me and fishy?) i have to say you guys have it. though it could have been:

'to join the squirrel revolutionary force'

ok. get this. Crypto and i have a child, Chickenfish. Yet i am the voice in the head of her sock. i also have voices in my head (such as Lydia) with whom i sing duets at bars when i'm not talking to god or telling rob to kill the neighbors.

besides which, i have flirted with my host head. who, recall, is the creation of the parent of my child.

this seems to call into question a lot of long held beliefs about reality and existence. maybe i should have posted this on 'deep insights'...

whoa.

samtzu · Post by **samtzu** » Wed Oct 20, 2004 10:03 am

The Dalai Chicken wrote:

this seems to call into question a lot of long held beliefs about reality and existence. maybe i should have posted this on 'deep insights'...

whoa.

Yup... It meshes perfectly with the obscure shit that I deposit over there... and what is this 'reality' thing that everyone keeps talking about?

Simply Joel · Post by **Simply Joel** » Wed Oct 20, 2004 10:11 am

samtzu wrote:The Dalai Chicken wrote:
this seems to call into question a lot of long held beliefs about reality and existence. maybe i should have posted this on 'deep insights'...

whoa.
Yup... It meshes perfectly with the obscure shit that I deposit over there... and what is this 'reality' thing that everyone keeps talking about?

reality=chicken caca?

http://eplaya.burningman.org/viewtopic. ... 3835#93835

samtzu · Post by **samtzu** » Wed Oct 20, 2004 10:18 am

Simply Joel wrote:
samtzu wrote:The Dalai Chicken wrote:
this seems to call into question a lot of long held beliefs about reality and existence. maybe i should have posted this on 'deep insights'...

whoa.
Yup... It meshes perfectly with the obscure shit that I deposit over there... and what is this 'reality' thing that everyone keeps talking about?
reality=chicken caca?

http://eplaya.burningman.org/viewtopic. ... 3835#93835

Ahhhh... a true guru! We will follow you anywhere, Joel.... well, as long as the journey ends in a bar.

theCryptofishist · Post by **theCryptofishist** » Wed Oct 20, 2004 10:27 am

Rian Jackson wrote: ok. get this. Crypto and i have a child, Chickenfish. Yet i am the voice in the head of her sock. i also have voices in my head (such as Lydia) with whom i sing duets at bars when i'm not talking to god or telling rob to kill the neighbors.

besides which, i have flirted with my host head. who, recall, is the creation of the parent of my child.whoa.

Dang, I can't get my sock to flirt with me. Note: both me and my co-parent are female. Either I'm a cichlid, or there's a good reason to report this board to John Ashcroft and get it shut down as immoral.

Simply Joel · Post by **Simply Joel** » Wed Oct 20, 2004 10:33 am

samtzu wrote:Ahhhh... a true guru! We will follow you anywhere, Joel.... well, as long as the journey ends in a bar.

was there a doubt in your mind that my daily journey usually has a visit to a bar?

Simply Joel · Post by **Simply Joel** » Wed Oct 20, 2004 10:35 am

theCryptofishist wrote:
Rian Jackson wrote: ok. get this. Crypto and i have a child, Chickenfish. Yet i am the voice in the head of her sock. i also have voices in my head (such as Lydia) with whom i sing duets at bars when i'm not talking to god or telling rob to kill the neighbors.

besides which, i have flirted with my host head. who, recall, is the creation of the parent of my child.whoa.
Dang, I can't get my sock to flirt with me. Note: both me and my co-parent are female. Either I'm a cichlid, or there's a good reason to report this board to John Ashcroft and get it shut down as immoral.

Ashcroft doesn't have the resources or the inclination... we aren't making any money here, so what is there to take away?
(using the mindset of right-winders here for context)

theCryptofishist · Post by **theCryptofishist** » Wed Oct 20, 2004 10:56 am

Simply Joel wrote:
theCryptofishist wrote:
Rian Jackson wrote: ok. get this. Crypto and i have a child, Chickenfish. Yet i am the voice in the head of her sock. i also have voices in my head (such as Lydia) with whom i sing duets at bars when i'm not talking to god or telling rob to kill the neighbors.

besides which, i have flirted with my host head. who, recall, is the creation of the parent of my child.whoa.
Dang, I can't get my sock to flirt with me. Note: both me and my co-parent are female. Either I'm a cichlid, or there's a good reason to report this board to John Ashcroft and get it shut down as immoral.
Ashcroft doesn't have the resources or the inclination... we aren't making any money here, so what is there to take away?
(using the mindset of right-winders here for context)

Sorry, I thought this was the sort of family that are de-"valued". You know, no father, no marraige, odd sort of conception, and I was thinking if I could trade over on the bar thread where that sort of thing seems to be going on.

Rian Jackson · Post by **Rian Jackson** » Wed Oct 20, 2004 10:59 am

are you rejecting our child??

theCryptofishist · Post by **theCryptofishist** » Wed Oct 20, 2004 11:04 am

Rian Jackson wrote:are you rejecting our child??

Not per se. It all depends on what I can get on the open market. And that, Best Beloved, is the Republican way.

Simply Joel · Post by **Simply Joel** » Wed Oct 20, 2004 11:28 am

theCryptofishist wrote:
Rian Jackson wrote:are you rejecting our child??
Not per se. It all depends on what I can get on the open market. And that, Best Beloved, is the Republican way.

sort of like a lesbian love chicken lind of way, sort of... i think

samtzu · Post by **samtzu** » Wed Oct 20, 2004 11:34 am

Simply Joel wrote:
theCryptofishist wrote:
Rian Jackson wrote:are you rejecting our child??
Not per se. It all depends on what I can get on the open market. And that, Best Beloved, is the Republican way.
sort of like a lesbian love chicken lind of way, sort of... i think

Is it still beastiality if it is performed by two separate animals of two separate phyla? Can avians and piceans breed?

theCryptofishist · Post by **theCryptofishist** » Wed Oct 20, 2004 11:35 am

Simply Joel wrote:
theCryptofishist wrote:
Rian Jackson wrote:are you rejecting our child??
Not per se. It all depends on what I can get on the open market. And that, Best Beloved, is the Republican way.
sort of like a lesbian love chicken lind of way, sort of... i think

You think step-sons are difficult? Our child worries about getting his feathers wet in water and breathing without gills on land. We're all confused. And I haven't broken all this to my husband yet.

Rian Jackson · Post by **Rian Jackson** » Wed Oct 20, 2004 11:40 am

samtzu wrote:
Simply Joel wrote:
theCryptofishist wrote:Not per se. It all depends on what I can get on the open market. And that, Best Beloved, is the Republican way.
sort of like a lesbian love chicken lind of way, sort of... i think
Is it still beastiality if it is performed by two separate animals of two separate phyla? Can avians and piceans breed?

Chickenfish is proof positive, baby.
How are we going to tell him that we're his parents? I don't think he knows!

theCryptofishist · Post by **theCryptofishist** » Wed Oct 20, 2004 11:49 am

Rian Jackson wrote:
samtzu wrote:
Simply Joel wrote: sort of like a lesbian love chicken lind of way, sort of... i think
Is it still beastiality if it is performed by two separate animals of two separate phyla? Can avians and piceans breed?
Chickenfish is proof positive, baby.
How are we going to tell him that we're his parents? I don't think he knows!

Another casualty of my lackadaisical parenting style.

theCryptofishist · Post by **theCryptofishist** » Wed Oct 20, 2004 11:52 am

theCryptofishist wrote:
Rian Jackson wrote:
samtzu wrote: Is it still beastiality if it is performed by two separate animals of two separate phyla? Can avians and piceans breed?
Chickenfish is proof positive, baby.
How are we going to tell him that we're his parents? I don't think he knows!
Another casualty of my lackadaisical parenting style.

And if they can cross breed fish and strawberries (forget phyla or even class--our actual seperation, aves/pisces--this is cross-kingdom breeding) they chicken and fish are nothing. Personally it's those flea-elephants I'm worried about.

Why Did The Chicken Cross The Road?..................

Why Did The Chicken Cross The Road?..................

....................CHICKEN!!!!!!!!!!!!.....................

Why DID the chicken cross the road?

Whydid the chicken cross