Ask Eric

[graidawg]

Got a playa problem? not sure of the right shoes? need help and advice and you have no idea on how to proceed? then you know what to do





our own eplaya (mod) agony uncle, able to solve any problem no matter if t existed before or not!

[CornMan]

Dear Eric,

We operate a bar in our camp, and we get weary of asking people for their IDs. Is or is not the legal requirement met by orally asking the the potential alcohol recipient the question about whether he or she is 21 years of age or older and is legally permitted to drink alcohol in the state of Nevada? Is this provision publicized in any official Nevada State websites?

thanks and good will to you, CM

[Eric]

Dear CM
What, suddenly I'm a lawyer?

All I know is that the LEOs send in undercover minors into bars, and people do get nice, fat, expensive fines for not carding them. You can play playa lawyer all you want, I know when I'm serving at a bar I card. If you're a busy bar, have a designated "carder" who does nothing but move down the bar carding before anyone gets served. If someone doesn't have an ID, your carder shouts at the top of their lungs not to serve that person so all the bartenders can hear. Simple, and your ass is covered if the LEOs don't buy your interpretation of the law.

-Eric

[lemur]

also..

as ive done before...

dont be afraid, if youre a patron at a bar, to say "ARE YOU 21? DO YOU HAVE ID?" to the person who may be about to be served.

it may seem rude, as its not your bar.. but, if you love that place.. yer doing em a favor.

for reelz.

[CornMan]

Dear CM
What, suddenly I'm a lawyer?

All I know is that the LEOs send in undercover minors into bars, and people do get nice, fat, expensive fines for not carding them. You can play playa lawyer all you want, I know when I'm serving at a bar I card. If you're a busy bar, have a designated "carder" who does nothing but move down the bar carding before anyone gets served. If someone doesn't have an ID, your carder shouts at the top of their lungs not to serve that person so all the bartenders can hear. Simple, and your ass is covered if the LEOs don't buy your interpretation of the law.

-Eric

Thank you, that was insightful. Good luck on your new forum.
-CM

[goathead]

Dear Eric

Do they ever send naked minors into the bars or does that only happen in Winnamucca?

[Eric]

Dear Goathead,
If I knew that they'd be lousy undercovers, wouldn't they?

-Eric

[Eric]

Thank you, that was insightful. Good luck on your new forum.
-CM

This was all Grai's idea, blame him.

Seriously, when I was with Fandango I would only deal with carding when we were busy. Shouting "DO YOU HAVE YOUR ID'S" at the top of your lungs gets people attention, then you just move down & check them. Took almost no time, any undercovers or nearby LEOs knew we were carding. Our asses were covered.

[goathead]

Our asses were covered.

Dear Eric

Wouldn't that disappoint the crowd though?

[Simon of the Playa]

Dear Eric

Do they ever send naked miners into the bars or does that only happen in Winnamucca?

there, fixed that...

[goathead]

Dear Eric

Do they ever send naked miners into the bars or does that only happen in Winnamucca?

there, fixed that...

ahhhh, you know the reference don't you

[TT120]

Dear Eric:

Which wine goes best with freeze dried chili mac?

[goathead]

Dear Eric

Are vintage '70s fire-resistant drag racing suits, with silver glitter Doc Marten still in this year?

[ygmir]

Dear Eric:
I'm writing for a friend, who is too shy to ask.
this friend finds his prowess at oral sex with women, such that they want more and more. But, at a point, even wearing lederhosen and pretending to yodel does not help.
He's afraid he'll sprain his tongue.
and that may lead to a lisp or other speech impediment.
That said, he's too shy to offer, since he really does love the act.
can you help him solve his dilemma?

[Eric]

Our asses were covered.

Dear Eric

Wouldn't that disappoint the crowd though?

Not with my ass. I think the crowd would prefer it covered.

[Eric]

Dear Eric:

Which wine goes best with freeze dried chili mac?

A boxed red table wine. Warm.

[Eric]

Dear Eric

Are vintage '70s fire-resistant drag racing suits, with silver glitter Doc Marten still in this year?

Always. Just make sure you shellac the glitter boots so they don't moop. And thank you for keeping your ancient copies of Piss Clear.

Note: 70s fire-resistant drag racing suits are not insulated. Do not wear them on a cold night if you like your nuts on the outside of your body.

[Eric]

Dear Eric:
I'm writing for a friend, who is too shy to ask.
this friend finds his prowess at oral sex with women, such that they want more and more. But, at a point, even wearing lederhosen and pretending to yodel does not help.
He's afraid he'll sprain his tongue.
and that may lead to a lisp or other speech impediment.
That said, he's too shy to offer, since he really does love the act.
can you help him solve his dilemma?

Tell your friend that eating someone out is supposed to be enjoyable, it's not an Olympic sport. Slow build to passion means less strain on the tongue, more enjoyment for all parties, and doesn't preclude deep exploration.

[Patsh]

Dear Eric:
I'm writing for a friend, who is too shy to ask.
this friend finds his prowess at oral sex with women, such that they want more and more. But, at a point, even wearing lederhosen and pretending to yodel does not help.
He's afraid he'll sprain his tongue.
and that may lead to a lisp or other speech impediment.
That said, he's too shy to offer, since he really does love the act.
can you help him solve his dilemma?

A 'friend', eh?

right....

[Captain Goddammit]

Dear Eric

I work outside, and I've got a ridiculous farmer's tan; I look like I'm made of parts from two different people glued together or something. Will running around naked at BM even it out any, or do I need to wear just sleeves and pant legs during the day? Would that be considered a form of shirt cocking?

[Dr. Pyro]

Dear Eric:
I'm writing for a friend, who is too shy to ask.
this friend finds his prowess at oral sex with women, such that they want more and more. But, at a point, even wearing lederhosen and pretending to yodel does not help.
He's afraid he'll sprain his tongue.
and that may lead to a lisp or other speech impediment.
That said, he's too shy to offer, since he really does love the act.
can you help him solve his dilemma?

A 'friend', eh?

right....

I'm Yggy's friend.

[theCryptofishist]

Dear Eric
I just can't seem to find shoes that work for me.

[Savannah]

Dear Eric:
I'm writing for a friend, who is too shy to ask.
this friend finds his prowess at oral sex with women, such that they want more and more. But, at a point, even wearing lederhosen and pretending to yodel does not help.
He's afraid he'll sprain his tongue.
and that may lead to a lisp or other speech impediment.
That said, he's too shy to offer, since he really does love the act.
can you help him solve his dilemma?

A 'friend', eh?

right....

I'm Yggy's friend.

HAhahahahahaha!

[oneeyeddick]

Dear Eric,

What can I do about this rash?

[Eric]

Dear Eric

I work outside, and I've got a ridiculous farmer's tan; I look like I'm made of parts from two different people glued together or something. Will running around naked at BM even it out any, or do I need to wear just sleeves and pant legs during the day? Would that be considered a form of shirt cocking?

Use spirit gum to glue on the sleeves and pant legs to even out your tan. It won't be shirtcocking, it will be performance art.

[Eric]

Dear Eric
I just can't seem to find shoes that work for me.

Have you tried thigh-high boots filled with foam? Sexy, and gives a nice dominatrix look.

[Eric]

Dear Eric,

What can I do about this rash?

Bag balm.

Also, leave it alone for a while.

[Eric]

I'm Yggy's friend.

[graidawg]

Dear Eric,
I have found something that really really annoys me, i can't do anything about it but it still annoys me. should i buy a megaphone?

thank you so much for the advice

your fan

GD

[Eric]

Dear Eric,
I have found something that really really annoys me, i can't do anything about it but it still annoys me. should i buy a megaphone?

thank you so much for the advice

your fan

GD

Only if you're funny on it (which, since you have an English accent, is a lot easier than you think). Otherwise it will annoy me.