I need a hug.

PurpleKoosh · Post by **PurpleKoosh** » Sun Oct 24, 2004 12:27 pm

I need a few, really. The dial on my Non-Sexual Intimacy meter is reading dangerously low, and I don't know how to fix that. I hate even admitting it, because someone who would be an important person in my life if I could only find a way to approach zir has labeled me a Drama Generator, and I want to be able to change zir mind. (I know - try to please everyone, and you'll end up pleasing no one. But zie's becoming an increasingly large part of my immediate social circle, and I want there not to be discord.)

GuinivereElise · Post by **GuinivereElise** » Sun Oct 24, 2004 12:29 pm

I'm in the same boat, Purplekoosh.

I don't have a lot of people around me who touch me on a regular basis in a non-sexual way. Something as simple as holding hands or a hug is so genuinely missing from my life.

geekster · Post by **geekster** » Sun Oct 24, 2004 12:40 pm

Okay, guys, both of you ... lets go out and do a corn maze then head over to the pumpkin patch and pick out few for carving then we can go to this cool little coffe shop I know for a hot chai and then we can go back home, carve the pumpkins, sit on the couch and drink brandies until we are too stupid to drive and then zonk. I will wake everyone up with breakfast in the morning and send you all on your way. Oh, and we can hug a lot and stuff when we are doing it. Sound fun?

PurpleKoosh · Post by **PurpleKoosh** » Sun Oct 24, 2004 12:43 pm

It sounds fabulous - and I'm even local. If you're serious, PM me.

geekster · Post by **geekster** » Sun Oct 24, 2004 12:50 pm

ewps ... caught! LOL, actually, I am making chili and babysitting right now so I can't REALLY spend all day out messing around as much as I would like to. It was a nice fantasy for me because, you see, I am in that same boat with you guys and there is no Captain with Margaritas here.

GuinivereElise · Post by **GuinivereElise** » Sun Oct 24, 2004 12:51 pm

mmm, that sounds amazing, Geekie. Thanks.

I'm not local, but you two go and have fun. You can hug twice as much, just for me...

Zulegoona · Post by **Zulegoona** » Sun Oct 24, 2004 1:35 pm

I'm also in the same boat as you guys, though the affliction is probably even more profound, I'm becoming a hermit. I did get out last night to our tiny local fire ring burner get-together and that was fun. I normally don't even see friends on a regular bases.

Although the occasional hug fest is great! I really miss that often and regular physical contact. Pets are great but petting them falls way short of a big ol bear hug or the touch from a friendly hand. Ok females in particular, nothing beats non sexual contact with the other sex ( if your hetero ) and even if your not.

Q_ · Post by Q_ » Sun Oct 24, 2004 1:49 pm

Well, it isn't exactly the same but it is the best I can do right now...

http://www.gagirl.com/hugs/hug.html

There will be plenty of hugs at seacompresion in a couple of weeks for those that can make it....

For those that can't, we will hug someone for you....

Simply Joel · Post by **Simply Joel** » Sun Oct 24, 2004 2:08 pm

may i have a beer with my hug?

samtzu · Post by **samtzu** » Sun Oct 24, 2004 2:51 pm

GuinivereElise wrote:I'm in the same boat, Purplekoosh.
I don't have a lot of people around me who touch me on a regular basis in a non-sexual way. Something as simple as holding hands or a hug is so genuinely missing from my life.

If there is one thing I can do right, it is the non-sexual hugging. Hand holding is a little too intimate for me, but you can take my arm... but I'll need it back eventually. I even cuddle.

Yeah, I'm just a big fuckin' softie....

Rabbi Dali Rick · Post by **Rabbi Dali Rick** » Sun Oct 24, 2004 3:00 pm

Wow! It's all so clear to me now...... I have a non-sexual touching fetish and it appears to be a bi-sexual thing. How am I going to break this to my family? Dear me.

Hey You Come Here take this twenty and give me a hug.

I am so out of control I just want to hug and touch everybody.

PurpleKoosh · Post by **PurpleKoosh** » Sun Oct 24, 2004 3:09 pm

samtzu wrote:Hand holding is a little too intimate for me

I can actually kinda see that. Isn't it amazing what the mind will decide is "Beware of the Leopard" private? (For me, it's hair-washing...the last time I got to spend the night with my partner, showering the next morning and getting my hair washed was even better than the sex - and if I could only have one of the two, I know which one I'd pick.)

samtzu · Post by **samtzu** » Sun Oct 24, 2004 3:33 pm

PurpleKoosh wrote:
samtzu wrote:Hand holding is a little too intimate for me
I can actually kinda see that. Isn't it amazing what the mind will decide is "Beware of the Leopard" private? (For me, it's hair-washing...the last time I got to spend the night with my partner, showering the next morning and getting my hair washed was even better than the sex - and if I could only have one of the two, I know which one I'd pick.)

Exactly! And if I get to wash your hair, I will have to wash your whole body.... veeeeerrrrryyyy slowly....

cowboyangel · Post by **cowboyangel** » Sun Oct 24, 2004 4:09 pm

you got it purple!

Sensei · Post by **Sensei** » Sun Oct 24, 2004 9:30 pm

Rabbi Dali Rick wrote:Wow! It's all so clear to me now...... I have a non-sexual touching fetish and it appears to be a bi-sexual thing. How am I going to break this to my family? Dear me.

I hug everyone who'll stand still. Heck, I even got Badger.

Missed Iso, though. I woulda goosed that ol' broad like nobody's business.

Here's a nice long, warm hug for PurpleKoosh............................

nipples · Post by **nipples** » Sun Oct 24, 2004 9:34 pm

To our dearest Purple Koosh,

one touch of our hand
to say hello with meaning
that is our desire

PurpleKoosh · Post by **PurpleKoosh** » Sun Oct 24, 2004 9:49 pm

nipples wrote:To our dearest Purple Koosh,

one touch of our hand
to say hello with meaning
that is our desire

Um...

...wow.

Thank you.

Lydia Love · Post by **Lydia Love** » Sun Oct 24, 2004 10:10 pm

ah darlin...

I know it's not the same and not enough but I'm sending you all sorts of virtual hugs right this minute.

The one thing I truly miss about married life is all the little daily touches - this last week I didn't feel so hot and desperately wanted to have someone just put their arms around me... but you can't really call someone you're dating and/or fucking and say "hey, I feel like hell. come hold me and risk contagion."

Oh well. There are other compensating factors...

Anywho, I wish I was there to put my arm around ya and put a little smooch on your forehead.

sonic · Post by **sonic** » Sun Oct 24, 2004 10:29 pm

One thing I've been trying to do is learn to separate the non-sexual touches form the sexual ones. I used to think that most touch is sexual, I know now differently and am trying to become more confortable with the non-sexual touch among friends.

And so it's so nice to hear people who are able to separate the two. Any words of wisdom to offer me?

geekster · Post by **geekster** » Sun Oct 24, 2004 11:24 pm

One of the things I did at BRC was to stand out on the street and greet people. Sometimes when someone took the time to come over and engage in conversation, I took a moment to adore them. Not in a sexual way, but to maybe touch their face and express my appreciation for their being there at that moment but it was honest and heartfelt. It had an amazing impact on some people and it did to me too. For only a few seconds it felt like there was an amazing connection between people that moments before had never seen each other. It felt nice. I don't know any of their names. Next year if you see someone hanging out on the street or sitting in a chair just greeting people that walk by, take a moment, the result might surprise you both.

Rob the Wop · Post by **Rob the Wop** » Mon Oct 25, 2004 1:09 am

sonic wrote: Any words of wisdom to offer me?

Anyone in a public park with your penis on any part of their body is a no-no.

It took me 5 restraining orders, but I think I'm getting the hang of this one.

Other than that- it's a time/place/person thing. Everyone's boundries are different. And different cultures make a huge difference too. I'm working with the Isrealis, and they have a very straight-forward approach to personal interaction. Too much so, sometimes. And a LOT of physical interaction.

PurpleKoosh · Post by **PurpleKoosh** » Mon Oct 25, 2004 3:37 am

Lydia Love wrote:ah darlin...

I know it's not the same and not enough but I'm sending you all sorts of virtual hugs right this minute.

The one thing I truly miss about married life is all the little daily touches - this last week I didn't feel so hot and desperately wanted to have someone just put their arms around me... but you can't really call someone you're dating and/or fucking and say "hey, I feel like hell. come hold me and risk contagion."

Oh well. There are other compensating factors...

Anywho, I wish I was there to put my arm around ya and put a little smooch on your forehead.

It's not the same, but it does help. Thanks.

And I totally get what you're saying. Oddly enough, being poly doesn't help, in my case - my partner and I are having communication issues right now, and he's the only one of the three people I'm seeing regularly who really understands How To Cuddle. My husband was raised in a very non-demonstrative family, and while he did learn, it's still got that je ne sais quoi that marks it as a learned behavior, rather than an instinctive one. And my SSO (that's Significant Something-or-Other, for those of you playing the home game) is such a profoundly sexual being that he doesn't even realize he's playing with erogenous zones half the time unless you point it out to him directly.

tisha2 · Post by **tisha2** » Mon Oct 25, 2004 10:52 am

PurpleKoosh wrote:
samtzu wrote:Hand holding is a little too intimate for me
I can actually kinda see that. Isn't it amazing what the mind will decide is "Beware of the Leopard" private? (For me, it's hair-washing...the last time I got to spend the night with my partner, showering the next morning and getting my hair washed was even better than the sex - and if I could only have one of the two, I know which one I'd pick.)

forget the hug - i think i need my hair washed....

samtzu · Post by **samtzu** » Mon Oct 25, 2004 11:56 am

tisha2 wrote:
PurpleKoosh wrote:
samtzu wrote:Hand holding is a little too intimate for me
I can actually kinda see that. Isn't it amazing what the mind will decide is "Beware of the Leopard" private? (For me, it's hair-washing...the last time I got to spend the night with my partner, showering the next morning and getting my hair washed was even better than the sex - and if I could only have one of the two, I know which one I'd pick.)
forget the hug - i think i need my hair washed....

*'Ohhhhhppphhhh! Eeeeep!!' Checking pulse.... about 220.... fingers twitching spasmodically.... Woodrow standing up yelling, "Bring her on!!!"... and I'm stuck at work... shit*

I would be more than happy to wash your hair, Tisha. We must set a date.

*Crawls under desk with thumb in his mouth, sucking furiously.... whimpering*

Sandwichman · Post by **Sandwichman** » Mon Oct 25, 2004 11:58 am

tisha2 wrote:
PurpleKoosh wrote:
samtzu wrote:Hand holding is a little too intimate for me
I can actually kinda see that. Isn't it amazing what the mind will decide is "Beware of the Leopard" private? (For me, it's hair-washing...the last time I got to spend the night with my partner, showering the next morning and getting my hair washed was even better than the sex - and if I could only have one of the two, I know which one I'd pick.)
forget the hug - i think i need my hair washed....

theCryptofishist · Post by **theCryptofishist** » Mon Oct 25, 2004 12:00 pm

tisha2 wrote:
PurpleKoosh wrote:
samtzu wrote:Hand holding is a little too intimate for me
I can actually kinda see that. Isn't it amazing what the mind will decide is "Beware of the Leopard" private? (For me, it's hair-washing...the last time I got to spend the night with my partner, showering the next morning and getting my hair washed was even better than the sex - and if I could only have one of the two, I know which one I'd pick.)
forget the hug - i think i need my hair washed....

Well, at least that's legal to pay for.

Sandwichman · Post by **Sandwichman** » Mon Oct 25, 2004 12:02 pm

tisha2 wrote:
PurpleKoosh wrote:
samtzu wrote:Hand holding is a little too intimate for me
I can actually kinda see that. Isn't it amazing what the mind will decide is "Beware of the Leopard" private? (For me, it's hair-washing...the last time I got to spend the night with my partner, showering the next morning and getting my hair washed was even better than the sex - and if I could only have one of the two, I know which one I'd pick.)
forget the hug - i think i need my hair washed....

400 miles all the sudden seems so much closer

sparkletarte · Post by **sparkletarte** » Mon Oct 25, 2004 12:05 pm

Oh kooshy kooshy and GE-y!

((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((koosh&GE)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

The next person who you see who you know, just tell them...I need a hug! And give them a hug! I'll bet they'll want that hug too. And if they're a goof about it, on to the next person.

tisha2 · Post by **tisha2** » Mon Oct 25, 2004 12:31 pm

wow! didn't know it would have such an effect...you okay, Sammy?
and thanks for the offer! when & where, baby?

Koosh, baby...looks like Geekster and Sonic aren't too far away...why don't y'all schedule a hug-fest? Meantime, here's more virtual luvin's...
(((((((((((((((((((((((((squish)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

samtzu · Post by **samtzu** » Mon Oct 25, 2004 12:40 pm

tisha2 wrote:wow! didn't know it would have such an effect...you okay, Sammy?
and thanks for the offer! when & where, baby?

Koosh, baby...looks like Geekster and Sonic aren't too far away...why don't y'all schedule a hug-fest? Meantime, here's more virtual luvin's...
(((((((((((((((((((((((((squish)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

I'm fine... and the date thing will have to wait (you in Blue Springs, attached to the kids; me in Portland attached to the extremely meager bank account) so.... maybe some time after the first of the year. I need to take a weekend to drive Highway One. Haven't been over it in years. Need to do my 'Keysey Site' pilgrimage once again.

January or February? Lemme' know. I give good bath...

I need a hug.

I need a hug.

...What yaw'll need is a "Rebbi Touched Me Here -->&

~