Ask Elliot

TT120 · Post by **TT120** » Sat Jul 27, 2013 8:46 pm

Dear Elliot:

How the hell am I going to fit all my BM crap in my truck? The pile is already bigger than the truck.

MikeGyver · Post by **MikeGyver** » Sat Jul 27, 2013 8:49 pm

TT120 wrote:Dear Elliot:

How the hell am I going to fit all my BM crap in my truck? The pile is already bigger than the truck.

You need a bigger truck or a smaller pile. I'm slightly concerned how small my pile is.

gaminwench · Post by **gaminwench** » Sat Jul 27, 2013 9:30 pm

You are not Elliot, only Elliot is Elliot!

Turtleburp · Post by **Turtleburp** » Sat Jul 27, 2013 10:44 pm

I too have a pewter mug that I used to drink from as a child, mine is dented too from holding it by the heron handle and beating things with it.

I drank orange juice and all sorts of things from it and am probably damaged as a result.

Elliot should I... I forget the question...

Elliot · Post by **Elliot** » Sat Jul 27, 2013 11:14 pm

gaminwench wrote:You are not Elliot, only Elliot is Elliot!

Thank you Dear Gaminwench for defending my copyrights, and Thank Odin there's only one of me.

As for TT120, you need a 40 foot school bus like mine. And the 25 foot trailer behind it. Nothing too it.

As for potatos and tomatos, I am flattered that you wish to be me. But you stink at it.

Mrpatatomoto wrote:...
I'm slightly concerned how small my pile is.

And nobody cares how small your pike is. Except maybe Eric.

(Dang, I'm mean when I'm tired. Sleep well, everybody. You too, Eric. All right, you too, potato-tomato-salad.)

ZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Martiansky · Post by **Martiansky** » Sun Jul 28, 2013 8:43 am

Dear Elliot,

If/when we meet on the Playa, are you a huggy person or a handshake person?
(Just don't want to encroach on your personal space if it's the latter)

I, myself am a hugger.

delle · Post by **delle** » Sun Jul 28, 2013 8:48 am

betting they'd get along just fine

Elliot · Post by **Elliot** » Sun Jul 28, 2013 9:09 am

Martiansky wrote:Dear Elliot,

If/when we meet on the Playa, are you a huggy person or a handshake person?
(Just don't want to encroach on your personal space if it's the latter)

I, myself am a hugger.

Do I look like I worry about "personal space"?

delle · Post by **delle** » Sun Jul 28, 2013 9:11 am

Where's the fucking "Love" button?

Elliot · Post by **Elliot** » Sun Jul 28, 2013 9:18 am

delle wrote:Where's the fucking "Love" button?

Just below the edge of the picture. (Until Photobucket deletes the picture. They did once before.)

delle · Post by **delle** » Sun Jul 28, 2013 9:30 am

Elliot wrote:
delle wrote:Where's the fucking "Love" button?
Just below the edge of the picture. (Until Photobucket deletes the picture. They did once before.)

That was a deceptively simple directive.

The one press of the button led to many, many more.

Sneaky!!!

Elliot · Post by **Elliot** » Sun Jul 28, 2013 10:23 am

Whoa, you're a married lady, lady! Push Kenny's love button!

delle · Post by **delle** » Sun Jul 28, 2013 3:55 pm

Jeepers, Elliot! There's a shit-ton of different types of Love Buttons out there.
My husband only has exclusivity of some of them. He happily nods as I share all the others with whomever I please.

FIGJAM · Post by **FIGJAM** » Sun Jul 28, 2013 4:37 pm

POP!!!!!

pink · Post by **pink** » Sun Jul 28, 2013 6:12 pm

Dear Elliot,

I can't think of anything to ask Eric. What should I do?

Elliot · Post by **Elliot** » Sun Jul 28, 2013 7:21 pm

pink wrote:Dear Elliot,

I can't think of anything to ask Eric. What should I do?

That is a good question. When we evaluate the possibilities we find that there are many options. So this is an excellent question and I believe you should follow your alternatives to the logical choices, then make your selection. And it is a great question.

Or take up politics.

graidawg · Post by **graidawg** » Mon Jul 29, 2013 12:00 am

Dear Elliot,

is there a difference between a love button and a fucking love button?

confused

grai

Dear Elliot,

can you remind the various correct uses and spellings of there, their and they're?

grammatically challenged

GD

Patsh · Post by **Patsh** » Mon Jul 29, 2013 7:34 am

Dear Elliot,

Is there really going to be a test on how bicycle shifters work?
I've been studying for months, and have it 'down pat', as it were, but have an awful fear of tests.

signed,
Nervous

Elliot · Post by **Elliot** » Mon Jul 29, 2013 8:06 am

Triken wrote:Dear Elliot,

Is there really going to be a test on how bicycle shifters work?
I've been studying for months, and have it 'down pat', as it were, but have an awful fear of tests.

signed,
Nervous

Yes, there will be a test, but don’t worry – just scribble this on the inside of your wrist:

Elliot · Post by **Elliot** » Mon Jul 29, 2013 8:11 am

graidawg wrote:Dear Elliot,

is there a difference between a love button and a fucking love button?

Delle!!! Look what you started!!! Get your button collection over here and deal with this!!!

graidawg wrote: confused

grammatically challenged

Yes.

Sunny D · Post by **Sunny D** » Mon Jul 29, 2013 8:23 am

MacGlenver wrote:Dear Elliot,

Do you love me? Could you learn to love me? You must love me exactly as much as I love you.

Get ready for it, peoples.

[media]

I'M OLD GREEEEGG!!! You like Bailey's? Hahaha never gets old.

delle · Post by **delle** » Mon Jul 29, 2013 8:33 am

I have already written a personal message to Graidawg apologizing for the confusion. I totally see now how my unfortunate choice of the word "fucking" could be read as a verb rather than just as a word used for emphasis, which was my intention -- thereby skewing everything into a horrible mass of misunderstanding.

You would think that sister's subsequent question might help me get out of this predicament, but unfortunately there is no way I can peddle fast enough to save face on this one, no matter which gear I'm in.

Here. Have some chardonnay and lets just forget the whole thing, ok?

Patsh · Post by **Patsh** » Mon Jul 29, 2013 8:45 am

While Delle is peddling, instead of pedaling, I must say, Elliot, that I already have that tattooed on my arm, but didn't know we were allowed to cheat. I'll wear short sleeves.
I wonder if she's peddling Buttons!?!

Elliot · Post by **Elliot** » Mon Jul 29, 2013 8:58 am

delle wrote:I have already written a personal message to Graidawg apologizing for the confusion. I totally see now how my unfortunate choice of the word "fucking" could be read as a verb rather than just as a word used for emphasis, which was my intention -- thereby skewing everything into a horrible mass of misunderstanding.

Dear Horrible Mass of Misunderstanding.
The whole (or at least partial) point of this exercise is to interpret everything as offensively as possible. Since you are no doubt a patently inoffensive person, it may take you a while to catch on. Keep practicing.

delle wrote: You would think that sister's subsequent question might help me get out of this predicament, but unfortunately there is no way I can peddle fast enough to save face on this one, no matter which gear I'm in.

What are you trying to peddle so fast? Something you stole?

delle wrote: Here. Have some chardonnay and lets just forget the whole thing, ok?

Forget what?

*steps out of character*

peddle = (verb) sell, or try to sell
pedal = (verb) propel a bicycle forward by applying the feet to the pedals (noun)
they're -- they are pedaling their bicycles
their -- they are pedaling their bicycles
there -- there they are, pedaling their bicycles (which they're so proud of)

*gets the fuck back in fucking character*

FIGJAM · Post by **FIGJAM** » Mon Jul 29, 2013 8:59 am

Dear Elliot

Why does Delle need all that money?

delle · Post by **delle** » Mon Jul 29, 2013 9:02 am

Elliot wrote:Since you are no doubt a patently inoffensive person, it may take you a while to catch on. Keep practicing.

Great advice.

I shall consider it as I peddle along thru my day.

Elliot · Post by **Elliot** » Mon Jul 29, 2013 9:04 am

Triken wrote:While Delle is peddling, instead of pedaling, ...
I wonder if she's peddling Buttons!?!

Ya beat me too it. But I'll forgive you this one time. Let's just hope she is not peddling her butt!

Triken wrote: ... didn't know we were allowed to cheat.

This is called Failure To Comprehend The Concept.

delle · Post by **delle** » Mon Jul 29, 2013 9:10 am

Nobody wants my butts. I smoke them right down to the filter. They're an embarrassment.

And I believe the FCC was actually founded by members of my family.

Elliot · Post by **Elliot** » Mon Jul 29, 2013 9:10 am

FIGJAM wrote:Dear Elliot

Why does Delle need all that money?

To buy me all that Chardonnay, of course.

delle wrote:...as I peddle along thru my day.

I take it all back. You are incorrigible.

(I should have included piddle in the dictionary!)

Elliot · Post by **Elliot** » Mon Jul 29, 2013 9:13 am

delle wrote:
And I believe the FCC was actually founded by members of my family.

I read that as Federal Communication Commission. That's how long my memory is.

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