Fuck!

[Sandwichman]

Fuck not being able to express myself around friends online in fear that my words will be read by someone who will misconstrue them into something that is not even close to the original intent and then start a huge arguement that will still equate to nothing making both our lives miseable for no real reason other than the need to feel shitty and push it onto someone else. FUCK Because it keeps happening...... But one FUCK YEAH is that I am 2 steps closer to getting moved into my place.

Jason

[GuinivereElise]

M'kay. my turn.


Fuck.

Fuck that I try to be logical and non-demanding to my significants, but that it always backfires. I try to be an non-burdening as fucking possible, try to make everything as easy as possible, and I get fucking attacked for it. Now I have to try to explain why the fuck I don't think it's my right to expect certain things from people that I'm non-exclusive with, while trying to remain open and lvoing.

And, while I'm at it:

fuck that I feel like I have nothing to contribute to aforementioned relationship. Fuck the fact that I have to question why aforementioned significant is even still bothering with me. Fuck that he seems unable to say what he's feeling. Fuck that all the women he has been involved with before he talks about like they're fucking goddesses, and how emotionally taken he was with them, but that he can't fucking tell me how he feels about me. Fuck that I can't seem to even SEE onto the pedestal that he holds them on.


and fuck that I can't see far enough away from myself right now to be able to convince myself that I'm not really as silly and little and niave and insignificant as I feel.


okay. I think that's all for now.

[Rian Jackson]

M'kay. my turn.


Fuck.

Fuck that I try to be logical and non-demanding to my significants, but that it always backfires. I try to be an non-burdening as fucking possible, try to make everything as easy as possible, and I get fucking attacked for it. Now I have to try to explain why the fuck I don't think it's my right to expect certain things from people that I'm non-exclusive with, while trying to remain open and lvoing.

And, while I'm at it:

fuck that I feel like I have nothing to contribute to aforementioned relationship. Fuck the fact that I have to question why aforementioned significant is even still bothering with me. Fuck that he seems unable to say what he's feeling. Fuck that all the women he has been involved with before he talks about like they're fucking goddesses, and how emotionally taken he was with them, but that he can't fucking tell me how he feels about me. Fuck that I can't seem to even SEE onto the pedestal that he holds them on.


and fuck that I can't see far enough away from myself right now to be able to convince myself that I'm not really as silly and little and niave and insignificant as I feel.


okay. I think that's all for now.

fuck him. (preferred order is literally THEN figuratively)

[GuinivereElise]

Nah. Like him too much.

[sparkletarte]

GE, that sucks.

<unsolicited advice>

Stop trying not to be a burden. Stop trying to be as easy as possible. Be yourself. It is your right to expect certain things in any kind of relationship, like being treated with respect and consideration. The sooner you set your own boundaries about what is okay and not okay, the less you will feel insignificant.

And why do you want to be with someone who makes you feel silly and little and insignificant anyways? You sure don't seem like you are those things to me, and probably to other eplayans.

If he can't deal with it, and if he doesn't make you feel good, then he's a dud, move along, nothing to see here. Even though it sucks and it hurts and you don't want to and it makes you cry and be sad.

Oh yeah, fuck him. I don't mean it literally.

</unsolicited advice>

There's few things that bug me as much as seeing my friends get sucked into stupid relationships that are so obviously bad for them. Not saying this to you GE, just generally, as this is making me think of a few couples I know. It bothers me that as we all get older, there are people who you think are going to get past and grow out of being with certain losers but they don't, they just keep on going, and you get to watch it break them down and turn into empty shells.

I have a friend who is the most beautiful woman who is with and has a son I adore with the biggest asshole manipulator jerk fucking loser fuckhead and she is just turning off all of her emotions to be able to deal with staying with him after saying she 'is leaving him for real this time' so many times over the last few years. She's just turning into this empty unfeeling shell of a person and I can hardly stand to be around her and I certainly don't like to hear the things he says to her without exploding and shaking her into feeling again. She is in the process of trading in her old friends for new friends who think it's okay to be with a man like that, because I think inside she knows it's not okay and she knows we know it. I fucking hate that. I hate it.

[GuinivereElise]

Stop trying not to be a burden. Stop trying to be as easy as possible.

This rings so true. It's perfectly good avice.

And thanks for your support. I needed it. (there's sort of a continuation of this over on the bar thread: hop on over for a drink, if you like. Your input is always welcome)

[GuinivereElise]

oh, oops.

fuck.

[bullD]

M'kay. my turn.


Fuck.

Fuck that I try to be logical and non-demanding to my significants, but that it always backfires. I try to be an non-burdening as fucking possible, try to make everything as easy as possible, and I get fucking attacked for it. Now I have to try to explain why the fuck I don't think it's my right to expect certain things from people that I'm non-exclusive with, while trying to remain open and lvoing.

And, while I'm at it:

fuck that I feel like I have nothing to contribute to aforementioned relationship. Fuck the fact that I have to question why aforementioned significant is even still bothering with me. Fuck that he seems unable to say what he's feeling. Fuck that all the women he has been involved with before he talks about like they're fucking goddesses, and how emotionally taken he was with them, but that he can't fucking tell me how he feels about me. Fuck that I can't seem to even SEE onto the pedestal that he holds them on.


and fuck that I can't see far enough away from myself right now to be able to convince myself that I'm not really as silly and little and niave and insignificant as I feel.


okay. I think that's all for now.

fuck him. (preferred order is literally THEN figuratively)

I second the "FUCK HIM"

I know nothing of your situation and don't really want to insert foot in mouth but,,, sounds like,,, and again I do not know either of you personally,,, sounds like if he has such a problem with telling you how he feels then perhaps you feel way more for him than he does you.

I have been in both situations:
1. Really really like the woman and tell her so with NO PROBLEM.
2. Like the woman in a casual way but when say for instance that woman begins vocalizing and giving signs that she really really likes me,,, I can't tell her the same and feel uncomfortable talking about it.

Again, if I am way off here please forgive me...

Good luck


FUCK

[sparkletarte]

Haha, BullD, that reminds me of the Sex and the City episode where one of them learned "He's just not that in to you!". It was funny. Generalizing here, I think women tend to overanalyze and read waaay more into things than needs to be there, trying to figure out exactly what the man meant by whatever he did or said. But really, it's pretty straightforward isn't it, and if it isn't, well, who the fuck wants to deal with mindfuckers? Been there, done that, I'll take the stable straightshooter any day.

[sparkletarte]

Also, what the fuck is meant by ',,,'? Why not '...'? I've been wondering that,,,,as sometimes I get emails from people who separate their sentences and phrases with multicommas...??? I don't get it,,,And it kinda bugs me.

[Zulegoona]

I'll do it,,,, I know you were waiting for some one to,,, why not me,,,???

[cowboyangel]

as a newly ordained playa priest, I can not say the "F,,,,,," word any more. Please disregard old posts...

[bullD]

Haha, BullD, that reminds me of the Sex and the City episode where one of them learned "He's just not that in to you!". It was funny. Generalizing here, I think women tend to overanalyze and read waaay more into things than needs to be there, trying to figure out exactly what the man meant by whatever he did or said. But really, it's pretty straightforward isn't it, and if it isn't, well, who the fuck wants to deal with mindfuckers? Been there, done that, I'll take the stable straightshooter any day.

WORD!!!!!!!!

[bullD]

Also, what the fuck is meant by ',,,'? Why not '...'? I've been wondering that,,,,as sometimes I get emails from people who separate their sentences and phrases with multicommas...??? I don't get it,,,And it kinda bugs me.

It's simply a longer pause than normal meant to emphasize what is being said,,, I think... he he he


Fuck,,, fuck,,, fuck,,, fuck,,, fuck,,, fuck,,, fuck...

[sparkletarte]

B-to-tha-D!

Father Cowboyangle (er, yes I'll leave that), that priest outfit (I have no fucking idea what it's called) looks oddly,,,right,,,on you.

[cowboyangel]

(that's because I really am a priest)

[Rian Jackson]

Fuck. I'm really annoyed at Iso/Badger's bitching at the moment.
Not that it doesn't have validity, because it does.
But i still think it's off track (see case studies rant).

[stuart]

at least he is bitching on-topic in an appropriate thread.

I am on the fence on this one.

[Badger]

Fuck. I'm really annoyed at Iso/Badger's bitching at the moment.
Not that it doesn't have validity, because it does.
But i still think it's off track (see case studies rant).

Well, I'm not terribly inclined to apologise for most things I say or type in public space. Though some might argue well that it represents arrogance or hubris on my part I'd take at least some exception to the accusation. I usually do say what I think though - especially when the issue is one that I see so many folks ignoring or that I think (here comes the hubris) should be paying more attention to. That, coupled with my oft stated belief that disagreement is a natural consequence of living in a world where people are different in their perceptions pretty much sums up my view of things.

I'm sure its not the first time I've annoyed people here. Hell I'm pretty sure its not the first time I've annoyed people here because something I said was or stupid, wrong, wrongheaded, bullheaded, off-the-mark, incorrect or just plain fucked. I'd also be damned surprised to find out that even a small minority subscribed to most of the thoughts (and occasional rants) I put here on an almost daily basis. But that's OK Rian you're entitled to that. I just hope when you're finished being pissed off you'll head over and add your two cents to the discussion.

[Badger]

Oh, and Stuart, you forgot to insert 'fuck' in your post.

[tisha2]

whew! thanks, badger...i hate it when people forget to say FUCK! but i point it out ALL the time and i didn't want it to get boring...could hardly resist much longer............fuck!

[sparkletarte]

: ( I found out this morning my brother's partner has very advanced Hep C. : ( She's tried a bunch of things to deal with it and is now on very harsh chemo drugs. Fuck.

[tisha2]

ooooh. fuck.

damn, baby...

[bullD]

: ( I found out this morning my brother's partner has very advanced Hep C. : ( She's tried a bunch of things to deal with it and is now on very harsh chemo drugs. Fuck.

FUCK!!! Bummer.

A good friend of mine just had a biopsy done because of that shit. From what I understand people dealing with it have to stay very much on top of it...

Good luck to them.

[diane o'thirst]

I always thought people who typed ", , , , , , " were illiterate squids who mis-hit the comma and couldn't be bothered to go back and correct it...

On topic...

FUCK! Peter Van De Graf played "Ruslan and Ludmila Overture" last night as I was getting ready for bed, it cranked me up so that I couldn't go to sleep for two hours, and it's been running through my head all day! I don't have it on CD and can't free up the money to buy one so I just try to deal with it by spontaneously humming it. Fuck! Disconnected snippets of Glinka!

[sparkletarte]

From what I understand people dealing with it have to stay very much on top of it...

Um, yes, well, she's pretty much at the liver cancer stage- the next step is a liver transplant apparently- and the doctor said she may have 1 to 5 years left to live. She's been on chemo drugs for while and hasn't told anyone. She's lost a lot of weight and all of her hair. The drugs have a 15-40% chance of working.

I've been researching it- it's a crazy disease. You can carry the virus for 20-30 years before showing any symptoms. The symptoms are just like getting the flu. And by that time you are very advanced- your liver has been slowly degerating.

I'm so sad for her and my brother. They are going to hang in Mexico for a while. I'm trying to find some clinics for her to go to there, where there may be treatments we don't have here. If anyone has any experience with that, please pm me about it.

[Rob the Wop]

From what I understand people dealing with it have to stay very much on top of it...

Um, yes, well, she's pretty much at the liver cancer stage- the next step is a liver transplant apparently- and the doctor said she may have 1 to 5 years left to live. She's been on chemo drugs for while and hasn't told anyone. She's lost a lot of weight and all of her hair. The drugs have a 15-40% chance of working.

I've been researching it- it's a crazy disease. You can carry the virus for 20-30 years before showing any symptoms. The symptoms are just like getting the flu. And by that time you are very advanced- your liver has been slowly degerating.

I'm so sad for her and my brother. They are going to hang in Mexico for a while. I'm trying to find some clinics for her to go to there, where there may be treatments we don't have here. If anyone has any experience with that, please pm me about it.

Fuck. Sounds like Genotype 1. The chemo is a 48 week long regiment. Milk thistle is something that has been shown to help retard the liver desctruction process, one of the few 'alternative' supplements that doctors have actually recommended.

That being said, make damn sure that any alternative you find in Mexico is thoroughly checked out. The reason I say this, is that anything taken orally can find its way to your liver- which has to process and break it down. There are tons of meds out there that can affect the liver as a side effect. Before trying any herbal approach, make sure to find out if the herb doesn't attack the liver.

I feel sorry for your friend, its a pretty fucked up disease to get.

[diane o'thirst]

Fuck. That'll larn me to read through the list before posting. Fuck. Liver cancer. A great and energizing piece of music going through my head is <i>nothing</i> next to that. Fuck.

Okay. Recantaro on "Ruslan and Ludmila." And one of my childhood playmates was just diagnosed with intestinal cancer. Fuck. She's only 39. Fuck. Fuck, Fuck, Fuck 'n a half.

[Badger]

Fuck. Sounds like Genotype 1. The chemo is a 48 week long regiment. Milk thistle is something that has been shown to help retard the liver desctruction process, one of the few 'alternative' supplements that doctors have actually recommended.

Whatever happened to fucking interferon therapy? My bud Tom - a real fuckwad BTW - had the hep C back in the 80's. Interferon was then an experimental treatment and VERY fucking expensive with less than a 20% success rate.

He beat the fucking odds for an experimental treatment. I would think that during this time there'd be a better better results.

[Rob the Wop]

Fuck. Sounds like Genotype 1. The chemo is a 48 week long regiment. Milk thistle is something that has been shown to help retard the liver desctruction process, one of the few 'alternative' supplements that doctors have actually recommended.

Whatever happened to fucking interferon therapy? My bud Tom - a real fuckwad BTW - had the hep C back in the 80's. Interferon was then an experimental treatment and VERY fucking expensive with less than a 20% success rate.

He beat the fucking odds for an experimental treatment. I would think that during this time there'd be a better better results.

Interferon has turned into pegylated alpha interferon and is taken in cunjunction with ribavirin. They are still puzzled over just what the hell HepC really is. Apparently, it is not just a virus- it covers a broad range of viruses(virui?) and it has a habit of mutating fairly rapidly. Plus it has a 'stealth' dormancy period that makes it difficult along with its lesser know status among the 'heavy hitters' in the virus world. Research funding is tougher, when compared against HIV and cancer- as it is primarily a blood borne disease. Ergo there was an assumption for many years that HepC = intravenous drug use. This has changed, but in the beginning- 'why spend the money to find a cure for drug addicts?' Now they know that a full 30% of people with HepC have no idea where it came from (no tracable behaviors or incidents that would explain catching it).