Ask Eric

[Conduit]

Ok Eric this is question is going to strain your brain...

Why are people posting ticket wanted ads when there are at least 10 tickets for sale on the tickets offered thread? This is keeping me up at night.

[Eric]

i'll see you there.

Sorry about spilling the drink.

Twice in as many weeks a certain unnamed ePlaya God has stated that being gay means never having to wait for the next bj (paraphrasing), in your omniscient and sagacious opinion is this correct and should I take that into consideration the next time I'm contemplating team affiliation?

Absolutely correct - in fact, I'm getting one right now. The idea that they are a difficult thing to obtain (or, worse, that you have to do something out of the ordinary to get one) confounds many a gay man. It's also being given by someone who really, really wants to be there, and has probably asked if you want one.

Ok Eric this is question is going to strain your brain...
Why are people posting ticket wanted ads when there are at least 10 tickets for sale on the tickets offered thread? This is keeping me up at night.

What strain? People. Are. Stupid.
It's the same reason they're paying more than face value when the OMG sale hasn't even happened yet.

[knowmad]

...

Twice in as many weeks a certain unnamed ePlaya God has stated that being gay means never having to wait for the next bj (paraphrasing), in your omniscient and sagacious opinion is this correct and should I take that into consideration the next time I'm contemplating team affiliation?

Absolutely correct - in fact, I'm getting one right now. The idea that they are a difficult thing to obtain (or, worse, that you have to do something out of the ordinary to get one) confounds many a gay man. It's also being given by someone who really, really wants to be there, and has probably asked if you want one..

HOORAY!

[Eric]

HOORAY!

Always the correct response. Just because blowjobs are easily obtainable doesn't make them less enjoyable.

[goathead]

Dear Eric

Horse piss or PBR?

[theCryptofishist]

*facepalm*

(Psst. Goathead, Eric doesn't drink beer. More of a vodka fellow...)

[TT120]

Dear Eric:

What is the very first thing you do when your feet hit the Playa at your camp site? Do you crack open an adult beverage and relax for a bit or get right to work setting up your camp?

[knowmad]

Dear Eric,
how should I deal with RadFems and the Wyomen that seem to have a special hatred for me? while it might not be socially acceptable to tell them to doushe their smelly cootchies; how do I politely tell them that their not so freshness is showing?

[Eric]

Horse piss or PBR?

Horse piss. At least you know what's in it.

*facepalm*
(Psst. Goathead, Eric doesn't drink beer. More of a vodka fellow...)

I don't drink beer either, I knew I liked Goathead for a reason.

What is the very first thing you do when your feet hit the Playa at your camp site? Do you crack open an adult beverage and relax for a bit or get right to work setting up your camp?

Beverage, then start setting up. No relaxing - unless a cute boy is in the area of our camp. Then it's hugs, kisses, beverages, what camp?

how should I deal with RadFems and the Wyomen that seem to have a special hatred for me? while it might not be socially acceptable to tell them to doushe their smelly cootchies; how do I politely tell them that their not so freshness is showing?

Tell them you can smell their entitlement from across the room.

[knowmad]

how should I deal with RadFems and the Wyomen that seem to have a special hatred for me? while it might not be socially acceptable to tell them to doushe their smelly cootchies; how do I politely tell them that their not so freshness is showing?

Tell them you can smell their entitlement from across the room.

[Eric]

how should I deal with RadFems and the Wyomen that seem to have a special hatred for me? while it might not be socially acceptable to tell them to doushe their smelly cootchies; how do I politely tell them that their not so freshness is showing?

Tell them you can smell their entitlement from across the room.

You're welcome.

[Straightveg]

Dear Eric,
I have a mild case of second year megalomania but cannot attend this year. So far I've recruited two virgin friends to join me at TTITD. Is it too early (or late) for us to start planning our theme camp, two mutant vehicles, awesome pimped out bikes, and two interactive art pieces?

[Eric]

I have a mild case of second year megalomania but cannot attend this year. So far I've recruited two virgin friends to join me at TTITD. Is it too early (or late) for us to start planning our theme camp, two mutant vehicles, awesome pimped out bikes, and two interactive art pieces?

If you're doing all that, you're running a bit late - hopefully you at least have sketches done for the vehicles & the camp. Second year megalomania is only bad if you fail.

[theCryptofishist]

I'm feeling a little battered today. Do you give hugs?

[Eric]

I'm feeling a little battered today. Do you give hugs?

Of course I do - I'm not Simon.

[theCryptofishist]

Thank you.

Love you.

(and Simon would give them to me, my being a fish and all...)

[JayBobBoy]

I already have my ticket, and so do all my camp mates. However, I have become so conditioned to being all stressed out whenever tickets go on sale that I'm a bit lost today. How do I cope?

[tatonka]

i have a pair of num-chuckas which are made of wood and covered in foam and black tape. I wanted to add lights to them and bring them but I think they would be considered weapons
instead of art .

[Thecatman]

Dear Eric:

Would you rather attend Burning Man or Hot August Nights (HAN), a classic car event this week in Reno? Just a question asked by the Reno-Gazette-Journal. www.rgj.com voices link.
So far BM has 35% and HAN has 65%.

[Eric]

Thank you. Love you.

I already have my ticket, and so do all my camp mates. However, I have become so conditioned to being all stressed out whenever tickets go on sale that I'm a bit lost today. How do I cope?

Vodka. Unless you have a good single-malt around, a fuzzy bathrobe & a good book.

i have a pair of num-chuckas which are made of wood and covered in foam and black tape. I wanted to add lights to them and bring them but I think they would be considered weapons instead of art .

The best art hurts people, either mentally or physically. Just make sure the lights don't fly off and hit you in the face.

Would you rather attend Burning Man or Hot August Nights (HAN), a classic car event this week in Reno? Just a question asked by the Reno-Gazette-Journal. http://www.rgj.com voices link. So far BM has 35% and HAN has 65%.

Those percentages are perfect. Why would we want that 65%, who are only looking for open bars, easy sex & bright lights? No, I'll keep our 35% of rugged campers...

[graidawg]

Dear Eric,

I have noticed that you are indeed full of allsorts of useful information. Indeed your answers are usually different from what i would have expected, so with that in mind i have two questions, first do you have 1 criticital piece of advice for somebody attending for the 3rd time, and second why am i so attracted to lesbians?

[Eric]

I have noticed that you are indeed full of allsorts of useful information. Indeed your answers are usually different from what i would have expected, so with that in mind i have two questions, first do you have 1 criticital piece of advice for somebody attending for the 3rd time, and second why am i so attracted to lesbians?

I'm not sure what you had in mind, but it's got my name on it so it gets my answers.
Now, your questions:
1) Eat real brined pickles, not those nasty vinegar things. You'll get electrolytes & salt, which you need to keep from dehydrating.
2) It lets you know any rejection isn't personal, so there's no male ego to get busted.

[mgb327]

Dammit, Eric, why didn't you remind me to get my shit together, as I have to leave here in EXACTLY 2 weeks? WTF? I am just now hit with a bigass panic. Shit! You were supposed to keep me in line here.............

[robbidobbs]

(re the lesbian response): Ooh SNAP!
You're the bomb Eric. Looking forward to seeing you at the M&G.
Oh and mgb327? This isn't the Damnit Bill thread. Eric has sharp things. Be warned.

[DrewDubious]

Eric has sharp things. Be warned.

His moustache, mayhaps?

[Gonzo Frothwood]

Two questions: is being a cute older straight guy going to interfere with my burning experience? And is my sixth year out there long enough to feel grizzled and stupid to do it to yourself again. I will hang up and listen to your response.

[Eric]

Dammit, Eric, why didn't you remind me to get my shit together, as I have to leave here in EXACTLY 2 weeks? WTF? I am just now hit with a bigass panic. Shit! You were supposed to keep me in line here.............

I do not take responsibility for the failures of others, and in fact have others who want to take credit for anything I do to less than perfection (probably because it's rare, and people like rare things). Your failure to prepare just shows moral failings on your part. You may be required to wear fairy-wings and a blue-bob wig in penance this year. Of course my failure to prepare shows I like to live dangerously, but that's me.

(re the lesbian response): Ooh SNAP!
You're the bomb Eric. Looking forward to seeing you at the M&G.
Oh and mgb327? This isn't the Damnit Bill thread. Eric has sharp things. Be warned.

You are correct on all points, and I look forward to meeting you as well.

His moustache, mayhaps?

Incorrect. It's called "snark".

Two questions: is being a cute older straight guy going to interfere with my burning experience? And is my sixth year out there long enough to feel grizzled and stupid to do it to yourself again. I will hang up and listen to your response.

1) Only if you're looking for sex with a sparkle pony & don't have either a large RV or drugs. Pretty young straight girls seem to have incredibly limited & boring taste in men.
2) It depends on what the "it" is that you are thinking about doing to yourself again. If it involves vodka, the answer is always yes. If it involves vodka and climbing something dangerous, the answer is "hell yes"

[robbidobbs]

Nice! <clap clap clap!>.
Keep your ticket handy and read the back when things get weird. The whirled is full of silliness.

[Patsh]

Dear Eric,

Why is it that some of our names (when on ePlaya) are orange and some grey?
I understand the green and red significance, but can't seem to be able to figure out the orange/grey puzzle.

signed,
confused.

[Eric]

Nice! <clap clap clap!>.

Why is it that some of our names (when on ePlaya) are orange and some grey?
I understand the green and red significance, but can't seem to be able to figure out the orange/grey puzzle.

Grey means you were a nosy little Triken and clicked on that name to find out more about them. Orange means you haven't. Green means they are super-swell people you really want to know. Red means they are Gods. Gods I Say!