Ask Eric

[Eric]

Can I buy my DJ's From Mars tickets at the door this year, or do I need to buy then in advance?

Always in advance. They're more expensive at the door.
If you were Jewish you'd know that.

[goathead]

Dear Eric

Could I be both a goat and Jewish though?

Are there any major playa sporting events this year with fruit cocktail?

[knowmad]

Eric do you go crazy when you don't have anything to read? how would we tell?

[Eric]

Could I be both a goat and Jewish though?

Are there any major playa sporting events this year with fruit cocktail?

A) we invented scape-goats, so yes.

B) No.

Eric do you go crazy when you don't have anything to read? how would we tell?

Wrong thread, but it's obvious that I'm not crazy - genius is often mistaken as such, though.

[goathead]

A) we invented scape-goats, so yes.

B) No.

Dear Eric

A) Silly goat, I should have known that. But then again I am a goat.

B) ,please say it isn't so.

[Eric]

B) ,please say it isn't so.

It isn't so.

That was the easiest answer yet.

[graidawg]

It isn't so.

That was the easiest answer yet.

oh Gods Eric please tell me it is so! i couldn't bear it not to be so


or better yet say "make it so" in your best Picard voice

[Eric]

oh Gods Eric please tell me it is so! i couldn't bear it not to be so

I said it wasn't so in the last post. Did I phrase it in too American a manner for you, or are you expecting me to be that fickle?

[delle]

It became obvious enough to me very quickly that screaming at you to "Blow Me" (whilst producing the valve of the busted bicycle innertube I was wearing as a belt) may not have been the best way to introduce myself to you when we finally met in person.

Do you have a preferred method, and if so, is it too late for me?

[Eric]

It became obvious enough to me very quickly that screaming at you to "Blow Me" (whilst producing the valve of the busted bicycle innertube I was wearing as a belt) may not have been the best way to introduce myself to you when we finally met in person.

Do you have a preferred method, and if so, is it too late for me?

Falling to your knees in supplication whilst offering a bottle of 20yo (or greater) single malt Scotch has always been the preferable way to greet me. In lieu of that, strict formality with a third party doing the introductions might be acceptable. The normal exchange of cards can be waived on the playa, of course. We are out there to "loosen up" after all, as it's so coarsely phrased.

[DrewDubious]

Dear Eric,


Since I am in San Diego now with my Burner buddy, should I try to get him out to the last weds meet up before the Burn?

second part

If we do get out to the meet up, will you all make fun of this accent people always tell me I have?

[fresh]

Eric,
I am planning on having a bar and serving mucho alcohol this year. My question is how many red solo cups do you recommend I bring?? I was planning on 4, but not sure if that is too many. Also, does it matter if they are blue???

[Eric]

Since I am in San Diego now with my Burner buddy, should I try to get him out to the last weds meet up before the Burn?
second part
If we do get out to the meet up, will you all make fun of this accent people always tell me I have?

1) I, luckily, do not live in or near San Diego, so I have no idea what you're talking about. Therefore, "yes".
2) Yes. Yes we will. Especially if you're from the North End and don't just have a generic "Mass" accent.

I am planning on having a bar and serving mucho alcohol this year. My question is how many red solo cups do you recommend I bring?? I was planning on 4, but not sure if that is too many. Also, does it matter if they are blue???

Bring zero. Zilch. None. No cup, no cocktail. If they complain, tell them you'll refund your bars cover charge. If it's for yourself, get something metal. Those damn solo cups never survive the first bar-staff orgy.

[fresh]

eric

I am having a hard time lately. my sarcasm seems to have lost its touch. any herbal supplements or prescription drugs that you might help?

[JayBobBoy]

My wife, who is not going and has been very generous and patient with me in my preparation, is sick and tired of hearing about it and wants this thing to be over with. Any suggestions on how to keep her happy until I leave on Friday?

The simple answer would be to shut the hell up about it, but I'm not sure that's possible!

[theCryptofishist]

Oh, Eric, the Great and Powerful
What kinds of marker will mark on painted wood?

[Conduit]

My wife, who is not going and has been very generous and patient with me in my preparation, is sick and tired of hearing about it and wants this thing to be over with. Any suggestions on how to keep her happy until I leave on Friday?

The simple answer would be to shut the hell up about it, but I'm not sure that's possible!

Eric forgive me for posting on your almighty thread but seeing that you don't have a wife I thought perhaps I could chim in...

Jay -

I'm in the exact situation, LOL!!! I bought a greeting card and wrote her a note telling her how grateful I am to have such a wonderful wife who supports me and wants me to live my dreams. I then included a gift certificate for a massage so she have one while I'm gone. Hope that helps you! I will be giving this to her when I leave in 9 days!!!!!!!

Eric - you can spank me at the M&G as my punishment for the intrusion...

[delle]

Eric forgive me for posting on your almighty thread but seeing that you don't have a wife I thought perhaps I could chime in...

Is it too soon for popcorn?

[theCryptofishist]

Eric forgive me for posting on your almighty thread but seeing that you don't have a wife I thought perhaps I could chime in...

Is it too soon for popcorn?

Popcorn is definitely called for. After all, Eric does have a wife.

[delle]

AND a boyfriend-who's-been-around-for-longer-than-most-people-have-been-married....
And neither of them go.
And somehow Eric seems to keep everyone very happy indeed.

Starting the fire now... because I'm out of microwave popcorn and since its damn chilly out here I might as well use the fireplace popper and warm the joint up while I'm at it.

[theCryptofishist]

Good plan. eplaya can get drafty.

[Conduit]

AND a boyfriend-who's-been-around-for-longer-than-most-people-have-been-married....
And neither of them go.
And somehow Eric seems to keep everyone very happy indeed.

Starting the fire now... because I'm out of microwave popcorn and since its damn chilly out here I might as well use the fireplace popper and warm the joint up while I'm at it.

Sounds like I'm gonna have a really sore ass after the M&G.... well I'll take the lumps that I deserve...

[BoyScoutGirl]

Good plan. eplaya can get drafty.

Somebody ought to do something about the wino getting in. What do you suggest, Eric?

[Eric]

I am having a hard time lately. my sarcasm seems to have lost its touch. any herbal supplements or prescription drugs that you might help?

No. You either have it or you don't. Be prepared for your doom at the Meet 'n Greet.

My wife, who is not going and has been very generous and patient with me in my preparation, is sick and tired of hearing about it and wants this thing to be over with. Any suggestions on how to keep her happy until I leave on Friday?
The simple answer would be to shut the hell up about it, but I'm not sure that's possible!

If you can't shut up when she has clearly asked you to, you might as well look for new housing when you get back. It's a two-way street buddy - she lets you go, you let her have peace. Come on here and talk as much as you want, shut up at home - and bring her flowers & take her to a fancy ass-dinner to apologize.

Oh, Eric, the Great and Powerful
What kinds of marker will mark on painted wood?

Good introduction. I may put it on a t-shirt. If it's painted with a water-based paint any permanent marker should work, if it's oil-based you need to use an oil-based marker. Hell, just get the oil-based, that will stick to any paint.

Eric forgive me for posting on your almighty thread but seeing that you don't have a wife I thought perhaps I could chim in...

Get your own damn thread if you think you're so clever. Also, get your facts right. Both a wife & a boyfriend, both for almost 27 years, and "special guest stars" to keep life interesting. There is a reason I am worshiped and feared.

For the rest of you - I loath popcorn*, get it out of my thread. I recommend a fine single malt & dark chocolate.

Sounds like I'm gonna have a really sore ass after the M&G.... well I'll take the lumps that I deserve...

You are assuming I will still acknowledge you. See hints on supplication posted earlier in this thread for ways to get back in my good graces.

Somebody ought to do something about the wino getting in. What do you suggest, Eric?

As long as no red wine ends up on my white(ish) playa-dust, all is fine. I am the last person to judge based on someones alcohol consumption, unless they get between me and a boy.

*Really. Hate the stuff and I won't let it in my house.

[delle]

[For the rest of you - I loath popcorn*, get it out of my thread.

Typo alert. "Popcorn" was really meant to read "a fine single malt & dark chocolate"

My bad.

[Eric]

[For the rest of you - I loath popcorn*, get it out of my thread.

Typo alert. "Popcorn" was really meant to read "a fine single malt & dark chocolate"

My bad.

Apology accepted, and I won't even mention the hanging bracket you left when you quoted me...

[Sic Pup]

Dear Eric,

Do you ever get tired of answering stupid questions?

[Elliot]

Dear Eric,

Do you ever get tired of answering stupid questions?

Oooo, Oooo.... Me, me! I know, I know!

[Rice]

Dear Eric,

What is a "starving artist" and why do they (he/she) expect everything to be given to them??

If you wear underwear, what colour?

Top or bottom?

If you cannot eat chocolate, is eating gummy bears a suitable substitute?

What is the best Scotch you have every had the pleasure of consuming??

Sorry that I have been told I say "Sorry" too much... Is it ok to embrace my Canadianism whilst burning??

[delle]

Apology accepted, and I won't even mention the hanging bracket you left when you quoted me...

Sounds like the makings of a bad country song. We all thank you for not going there.