The Bar

tisha2 · Post by **tisha2** » Tue Oct 26, 2004 8:27 pm

Good one Geekster!!! heehee!!!

lil coffee for ZGs irish cream....yum!!

damn rain. Killer moon tonight though! Can y'all see it?

Zulegoona · Post by **Zulegoona** » Tue Oct 26, 2004 8:27 pm

Oh that sounds good I’ll have that instead tisha

Sandwichman · Post by **Sandwichman** » Tue Oct 26, 2004 8:29 pm

tisha2 wrote:Good one Geekster!!! heehee!!!

lil coffee for ZGs irish cream....yum!!

damn rain. Killer moon tonight though! Can y'all see it?

no moon here only clouds and rain..

What do you call a parapalegic in a pool?

Bob

sorry tasteless but those who know me know I am not that kind of person

Jason

Zulegoona · Post by **Zulegoona** » Tue Oct 26, 2004 8:30 pm

I was instant messageing with my Ex- and she said there was going to be an eclipse tomorrow night.

tisha2 · Post by **tisha2** » Tue Oct 26, 2004 8:30 pm

you got it ZG - hot cocoa with a jamaican twist all around!!

Great jokes!!

moremore!!

geekster · Post by **geekster** » Tue Oct 26, 2004 8:31 pm

A short man walks in to the bar and begins to tell the bartender his story. Well, he theths, I wath driving down thith country road, when I thaw a thine that thaid "horth for thale". I jutht happened to be looking to buy a thorth, tho I turned up the driveway to thee about it.

The farmer wath quite nithe about thowing me the horth, but I made it clear to him that it had to be a healthy horth, not jutht any old thag back.

The farmer to me it wath a three year old mare. When we got to the horth, I athked the farmer to pick me up to thee the hortheth eyth, becauth I wath too thort. The farmer reluctantly picked me up to thee.

I checked the hortheth eyth, and they theemed great, and the farmer put me down. Nexthd, I athked the farmer to pick me up to thee the hortheth teeth. He wath even more reluctant thith time, but he did it.

I grabbed the hortheth lipth, lifted them, and tapped on the teeth to be thure they we tholid. They were, and the farmer put me down. We thtepped back thowards the hortheth hind quarter, looking towardth hith head, when I athked the farmer to thee the hortheth twat. The farmer grabbed me, picked me up, and thtuck me in the hortheth bum. Then he pulled me out and thtood me up, right at the back thide of the horth.

Well, I wath in thock. I wath covered in poo, and some got in my mouth.

As I thpit it out, I thaid to the farmer, " Let me rephrathe that. Can I thee her gallop thlowly?"

tisha2 · Post by **tisha2** » Tue Oct 26, 2004 8:34 pm

oh, damn, Geek!!!!

Y'all know what to feed a gay cow, right? ( i told this one waaaay back, but don't tell!)

Sandwichman · Post by **Sandwichman** » Tue Oct 26, 2004 8:34 pm

A republican is flying a plane he is coming in for a landing....he barely gets the plane on the ground. He looks out the window and says...."That was the shortest runway I have ever landed on.." The copilot answers "But it sure was wide"

geekster · Post by **geekster** » Tue Oct 26, 2004 8:39 pm

Hay, fella?

Alpha · Post by **Alpha** » Tue Oct 26, 2004 8:39 pm

How do you keep a turkey in suspense?

I'll tell you tomorrow.

tisha2 · Post by **tisha2** » Tue Oct 26, 2004 8:40 pm

geekster wrote:Hay, fella?

close...

heeeeeee-aaaaayyyyyyy!!!!!!!!

geekster · Post by **geekster** » Tue Oct 26, 2004 8:41 pm

A penguin walks into a bar, he goes to the counter and asks the barman "Have you seen my brother?".

The barman asks "What does he look like?".

Sandwichman · Post by **Sandwichman** » Tue Oct 26, 2004 8:44 pm

But in all seriousness it really isn't good to tell so many jokes about people of different beliefs. I was at a house party once getting my groove on. I later was sitting with a few friends telling some horrible political jokes knocking some major Republican figures. I felt a tap on my shoulder and here was this guy looking fairly pissed. He starts telling me he is really offended. His dad was a major player in some campaign and I was speaking of people he had met. I kind of laughed it off and was starting to tell another joke. I feel the tapping again and it is him. He is really looking preturbed and fairly red in the face. He starts almost yelling how offended he is practically spitting on me. He starts telling me he is going to cut me. Next thing I know he pulls out a razor.. I ran away while he looked for a place to plug it in.....

Sandwichman · Post by **Sandwichman** » Tue Oct 26, 2004 8:45 pm

it is much better in person but I had to put it up anyway.

Jason

geekster · Post by **geekster** » Tue Oct 26, 2004 8:47 pm

Duck walks into a hardware store and says "do you have ne gwapes?" the guys says no and the duck leaves. the next day the duck comes back and the same guy is there the duck asks "Do you have ne gwapes?" the guys says no again. next day again the duck askes the guy "do you have ne gwapes?" this time the guys says "no and if you ask me that again i will staple your feet to the floor." the next day the duck comes back and this time askes "do you have ne staples?" the guy says "no" then the duck askes "do you have ne gwapes?'

tisha2 · Post by **tisha2** » Tue Oct 26, 2004 8:49 pm

oh shit!!

my daughter just told me this one:

A lady rushes in and says, "Doctor, Doctor!! I really need some glasses!!"
"I'll say," answers the employee, "This is a restaurant!"

Zulegoona · Post by **Zulegoona** » Tue Oct 26, 2004 8:58 pm

God I hate this, any joke I may have know has completely vanished from my memory.

It's like having test nerves about jokes

I'll just sit here and giggle.

tisha2 · Post by **tisha2** » Tue Oct 26, 2004 9:14 pm

whew!!

Okay - ZGs got performance anxiety, Sammich is *completely* UN-PC, Alpha's a total hit-n-run jokster, and Geekster has left the building.

hmph.

I'm outta here.

Seriously, boys, *that* was fun! Gotta go put the kid to bed...then i'm curling up all by my self to watch a sappy romance movie!

nighty-night! Keep the place, clean, eh?

Sandwichman · Post by **Sandwichman** » Tue Oct 26, 2004 9:17 pm

Night madame bartender..... Keep warm...these rainy nights can get a bit chilly.....

Zulegoona · Post by **Zulegoona** » Tue Oct 26, 2004 9:17 pm

clean as in neat or clean as in not nasty?

geekster · Post by **geekster** » Tue Oct 26, 2004 9:18 pm

Sorry, I was just getting the little ones to sleep.

geekster · Post by **geekster** » Tue Oct 26, 2004 9:20 pm

A drunk staggers into a church and sits down in a confessional and says nothing. The priest coughs, still nothing; then the priest knocks on the wall 3 times to get his attention. The drunk finally speaks up saying, "No use knocking mate, there's no paper in this one either."

cowboyangel · Post by **cowboyangel** » Tue Oct 26, 2004 9:21 pm

back from the game.... It was raining just before the game started. It stopped raining during the game and started after the ending of the game...the Fox affiliate announcer on KNBR68said.."Looks like God wants the Red Sox to win"
folks, this is totally fu** weird, and wonderful too! Something cosmic is going on here...the breath of fresh possibilities and new things emerging in the cosmos.....ok, I'll have another drink now.

geekster · Post by **geekster** » Tue Oct 26, 2004 9:26 pm

Reminds me of the '66 Orioles when they took the Dodgers 4 straight. These no-name kids like Robinson and McNally and some rookie named Palmer pissed all over Koufax and Drysdale. The Orioles fielded only 4 pitchers in the entire series. Bunker, Palmer, and McNally pitched complete games and McNally came in relief of Drabowsky for 2-1/3 innings of one game. Those were the days. Enjoy yours, I have already had mine.

geekster · Post by **geekster** » Tue Oct 26, 2004 9:35 pm

I still have some of that cheap brandy if anyone wants some.

Oh, holy CRAP ... my son just came in here ... turned his back to me and said "look, Daddy" ... and there is like this major lump in his pants. Since he is only 3, I expected the worst. Pulled his underpants down and there was a DAMNED EGG in there ... and he started making chicken sounds. Jeez!

Sandwichman · Post by **Sandwichman** » Tue Oct 26, 2004 9:37 pm

geekster wrote:I still have some of that cheap brandy if anyone wants some.

Oh, holy CRAP ... my son just came in here ... turned his back to me and said "look, Daddy" ... and there is like this major lump in his pants. Since he is only 3, I expected the worst. Pulled his underpants down and there was a DAMNED EGG in there ... and he started making chicken sounds. Jeez!

Having a 3 year old I just started gut rolling after reading this. Thank you for sharing....

Jason

geekster · Post by **geekster** » Tue Oct 26, 2004 9:39 pm

Oh, and Drabowsky actually came in relief of McNally. Duh ... 6-1/3 innings of relief gave up one hit and struck out 11.

keepercurrent · Post by **keepercurrent** » Tue Oct 26, 2004 11:04 pm

It's kind of dark, somebody turn on some lights or light some candles
please!

Sandwichman · Post by **Sandwichman** » Tue Oct 26, 2004 11:07 pm

keepercurrent wrote:It's kind of dark, somebody turn on some lights or light some candles
please!

I think everyone has bailed out of the Eplaya tonight..

Jason

keepercurrent · Post by **keepercurrent** » Tue Oct 26, 2004 11:14 pm

I just got some candles and a bottle of rum! Ya want some?

The Bar

anybody in this bar?

Re: anybody in this bar?

nope!