Radical Self Expression?

[Lonely Unicorn]

I spent a long time making a badass costume for the playa. I have silver silky wings where every piece is sewn in and a tail that I can move! There’s a big headdress with inlaid LEDs to make it seem shamanic and to go with the theme this year. The costume has no feathers or glued on pieces and I made it thinking that I do not want it to moop. I thought it would be fun to wear and I thought I would role play like a fake goddess of bad ideas. I’m going to do an epic photoshoot.

My friends are asking me to not wear it because they think it’s embarrassing and that I will look like a sparkle pony. According to them, it’s too fancy and people will treat me like I am a slut because it is revealing. People will be mean because my contribution of a costume is not a respected contribution and I should have done something else with my time. (I did do a lot of other things and people won’t care about them because they will only see that I am all dressed up and think that I am a sparkle pony and useless as a contributor because I made a costume.)

I feel like I did this to express myself and to bring my own art to the playa. I did this because I have fun dressing up and role playing and I like to have alone time and make things by myself. I do not think that wearing an elaborate costume is a bad thing.

What are other people’s thoughts and opinions on this?

[Dr. Pyro]

Fuck 'em. It's your burn. Do it how you want. If they don't like it or think you'll "embarrass" them it's their problem, not yours.

[Asquared]

your friends are not friends at all.

[theCryptofishist]

My opinion is that you have crappy friends.


Or, at least, very clueless friends.


And I'm one of the first to make fun of sparkleponies.


However, sparkle is as sparkle does. You made your own costume, instead of buying it off ebay, or some rave site. As a member of the Bureau of Erotic Discourse, I am "grrr"ing about the equation of "revealing" with "slut" and with the implied "promiscuous" with "bad". And remember, being a sparklepony isn't just about having fabulous things to wear. It's also about bringing only half a dozen cup o'noodles and a gallon of water for the week; it's about expecting others to take care of you because you're so damn beautiful.

Go. Have a good time. Wear your costume. (ONly 1? Sparkle is several a day!) Get admired. If your friends don't want to be seen with you, you will be able to find other people who would love to see the playa with you. Here comes the annoying middle-aged lady bit--keep in mind the safety stuff that you would in any city, there are, alas, people at the event who equate "revealing" with "that woman just made a play for me and I'm going to have her right here and now"; on the plus side, should you get into trouble, most people on the playa will run toward you if you yell "leave me alone."

[stew]

Please wear it. I enjoy seeing elaborate costumes. With art project, volunteering, traveling with camping gear in airplane luggage I don't have the resources to do it myself, so by all means, please wear it. If I see you and like it, I might stop you and ask for your permission to photograph you and your outfit.

..unless it moops. Then leave it at home.

[Jackass]

Lots of people go to BM specifically to peacock and showcase their creations, that's their art. If that's your thing, then do it and do it well. Your friends are probably just pissed because you get a majority of the attention or they just look plain by comparison.

[maladroit]

It doesn't matter what your friends think, and it doesn't even matter what the rest of us think. Unless you're being a whiny drain on resources some other way, your friends don't know what a sparkle pony is. And unless your costume is covered in sponsor logos, they can't tell you what not to wear.

From the care and work you describe putting into this, it sounds awesome. Enjoy YOUR burn.

[Sundial]

Wow. Your friends suck. Do what you like.

[misfit]

fuck'em. would love to see pics.......

[Lonely Unicorn]

Thank you everybody. I feel better already.

I almost did leave it behind because it takes up space and I don't need that negative energy.

I think that my friends are saying these things because they want to protect me from other people being mean to me. How does someone know that I'm not begging other people for food and that I'm not helpless with nothing but a costume and a nice ass? I've seen other girls who thought that they were too sexy to have to labor - and I think that's why I am afraid that people will be mean to me if I wear the costume, they will assume that I am that type of person.

[theCryptofishist]

Well, a pox on them, too! It's your event. You don't have to live up to our expectations.

[CornMan]

I stopped reading midway through the opening post. Just wear whatever your heart desires. You won't regret it.

[Sundial]

Thank you everybody. I feel better already.

I almost did leave it behind because it takes up space and I don't need that negative energy.

I think that my friends are saying these things because they want to protect me from other people being mean to me. How does someone know that I'm not begging other people for food and that I'm not helpless with nothing but a costume and a nice ass? I've seen other girls who thought that they were too sexy to have to labor - and I think that's why I am afraid that people will be mean to me if I wear the costume, they will assume that I am that type of person.

Well fuck THOSE people too.

[Lonely Unicorn]

Well, a pox on them, too!

Wow! That's mean.

Thank you everyone.

[Boijoy]

we NEVER make fun of sparkle ponies in person !!

Wear your fund costume & get new friends. they are just jealous.

[AntiM]

Sparkle on, friend, sparkle on!

[theCryptofishist]

Well, a pox on them, too!

Wow! That's mean.

Thank you everyone.

So much for recycling Dr. Johnson's insults...

[Dr. Pyro]

Might I suggest you wear your fabulous costume to the Meet & Greet, 6 p.m. Wednesday evening at Barbie Death Camp & Wine Bistro right on the corner of 4:00 and Extraterrestrial.

[maladroit]

Looking through the original poster's short history...while the campmates have no call to say what can and can't be worn, they may have other reasons for invoking the dreaded invective. OP started a topic last year asking for a camp with showers and meals, in return promising to take pictures and otherwise do what any burner would consider the absolute minimum.

[Asquared]

^part of me was thinking...who would even care what their friends think?
also "i'm going to do an epic photoshoot" and "people will be mean" are red flag statements in my mind.

but whatever, as someone else said, sparkle on!

[stew]

If you strip a lazy unprepared sparkle pony of their sparkle, you still end up with a lazy unprepared pony. When you let it wear skimpy outfits, at least it's good for decoration.

[Savannah]

Lonely Unicorn: it's not a fabulous costume that makes a sparkle pony, it's behavior--and almost everyone (besides your friends) is smart enough to know it. Sparkle ponies frequently *have* nice costumes, but it's correlation, not causation. (When all you have is your appearance, you'd better look good.)

If it's possible that you've been guilty of sparkle pony behavior in the past (and maladroit guesses that you *may* have, based on your post history) then I can understand your friends being irritated and resentful if you do little work on-playa other than raking in compliments. Don't let there be a question--pull your weight in camp, and help ensure that costumers are not stereotyped because of a few sparkly bad apples.

The costume sounds lovely.

[Eric]

If you strip a lazy unprepared sparkle pony of their sparkle, you still end up with a lazy unprepared pony. When you let it wear skimpy outfits, at least it's good for decoration.

Conversely, if you strip a pony of their sparkle and they're still useful, they never were a sparkle pony to begin with. As has been stated in this thread, the appearance is just one factor in determining who's a sparkle pony.

[Elliot]

I must join the chorus -- you "need new friends"! And I really really wish I had the talent to make such a costume. Sure looking forward to seeing it.

And I agree that it is behavior that makes a sparkle pony. Even if you have been weak in that area before, you can surely mature.

And yes, please wear it to the ePlaya Meet-n-Greet.

[Ugly Dougly]

Don't be weird. Act normal and enjoy Burning Man.
Save the costume for an office party.

[danibel]

Wear your creation! Period. If your "friends" don't like it, tough!

And I agree with all that Fishy said about the slut comments. Grrrrrrr.

[Drawingablank]

Not sure how this double posted.

Fuck - now the double post dissappeared.

[Drawingablank]

Not sure I would trust friends giving me such crappy advice.

The burn is a place where you can wear or be anything with minimal judgement. A place to release your inner being that is bottled up all year in the default world.

Sure, some assholes might have something negative to say, but fuck them!

Every interaction is good (the best part of the burn is interacting with other people), and sometimes even negative reactions are good.

Case in point: last year a campmate jumped to the conclusion that I was a gay pedophile based on my outfit and that I was there with someone half my age (my son). To this day that is one of my favorite burning man stories, and although I leave out her name to protect the not so innocent - watching her torment on the playa was priceless.

[tatonka]

my buddy who is comin with me is getting into it with his outfits and its really not like him. He is usaally in brown or green /gray colors.
He's got sarongs and his sister is making him stuff , its good to see him let go
So you have a good time and do exactly what you want ")

[Savannah]

I'm happy for your buddy, Tatonka!