Playa Practical

[VultureChow]

It's like the sword in the stone. Whoever can open the magical lock is crowned king of Burning Man and is then sacrificed for the good of his people on Saturday night.

[Elliot]

Two words: Gordian knot.

[unjonharley]

Two words: Gordian knot.

My box cuter aces that knot..

[Ratty]

Capt. I'm sure it's one of those really good, secure ones. Otherwise you surely would have cracked it.

[Sham]

Back to playa practical......

At home, get some 1-ply toilet paper and use all but 1/2 inch on the roll. This will leave you 2 or 3 good "uses" on that roll. In the center of the roll, put a small plastic bag with some moistened butt wipes. This is great if you find the portos lacking, and you'll have a plastic bag to take your used butt wipe towelettes to dump back at camp. You can make 4 or 5 sets that you can pass out to camp mates who were not so resourceful.

[FIGJAM]

I just found out that 1" EMT nests perfectly inside of 1 3/8" chain link fence railing.

Easy to make a mast for a beacon with a set of solar string LED's stuck in the top.

I'm also using them for extending shade structures.

[robbidobbs]

Back to playa practical......

At home, get some 1-ply toilet paper and use all but 1/2 inch on the roll. This will leave you 2 or 3 good "uses" on that roll. In the center of the roll, put a small plastic bag with some moistened butt wipes. This is great if you find the portos lacking, and you'll have a plastic bag to take your used butt wipe towelettes to dump back at camp. You can make 4 or 5 sets that you can pass out to camp mates who were not so resourceful.

Brilliant! Thank you Sham!

[robbidobbs]

On innovation I came up with a couple years ago is to have a jug clearly marked "JUST PLAIN WATER".
What led to this is I have a habit of putting flavoring powder in whatever jug I happen upon to drink from, then I don't have plain water to brush my teeth with.

On keys: the Poop Mobile is so smart it's not possible to lock the car with the keys inside, it must be locked from the outside. I just learned today that it's even so smart that it will not lock if a door is still ajar! Brilliant engineers!

[Sham]

PLASTIC SALAD BOWLS.

These things will save you on the playa. They pack easily in a suitcase, as they take up no room. Stuff clothes on both sides when packing.
You can fill with clean water and bathe in these using a wash cloth. You can soak your feet with some vinegar. The uses are endless.
I find these at the evil big box stores at the end of the different seasons and holidays. (colors vary by holiday and season) I pay 50c each and dispose of them every year.

[name redacted]

Zip tie you car key to a brake line under the car. No one will know where to look, and it will never fall off unlike those magnetic hide-a-key boxes.

[Elliot]

Zip tie you car key to a brake line under the car. No one will know where to look, and it will never fall off unlike those magnetic hide-a-key boxes.

To remove key from zip tie if needed, always carry a stout pair of side cutters in pocket.

[Patsh]

Zip tie you car key to a brake line under the car. No one will know where to look, and it will never fall off unlike those magnetic hide-a-key boxes.

To remove key from zip tie if needed, always carry a stout pair of side cutters in pocket.

Never without 'em, and a file for good luck...

[Elliot]

Yes Patsh, I remember.

[Captain Goddammit]

On keys: the Poop Mobile is so smart it's not possible to lock the car with the keys inside, it must be locked from the outside. I just learned today that it's even so smart that it will not lock if a door is still ajar! Brilliant engineers!

Brilliant. So what do you do when the rapist in the parking garage wants to open your door as you sit there?

Side note: I hate all that automated shit on newer cars. It's all going to malfunction at some point.
The more things there are TO go wrong, the more WILL.

[peyote2004]

Brilliant. So what do you do when the rapist in the parking garage wants to open your door as you sit there?

Side note: I hate all that automated shit on newer cars. It's all going to malfunction at some point.
The more things there are TO go wrong, the more WILL.

So true ... I've had more trouble with my new cars with all the electronics, then I ever had with my older ones.

My current vehicle has a sensor in the drivers seat. You can't lock the car from the inside unless there is a person in the drivers seat. You also can't lock the car while it's running unless there's someone in the drivers seat.... Not a good thing when you want to warm up your vehicle on a cold winter morning. You either need to sit in the vehicle or leave your running vehicle unlocked

[Zhust]

You also can't lock the car while it's running unless there's someone in the drivers seat.... Not a good thing when you want to warm up your vehicle on a cold winter morning. You either need to sit in the vehicle or leave your running vehicle unlocked

I'm always surprised by people with money to burn. My girlfriend has a Honda Fit and I went a roundabout way to figure it burns about 1/2 gallon/hour at idle. At $3.50/gallon, that's 3 cents a minute.

I had an extension cord run to my car with a space heater on the seat. When I got up, I'd plug in the heater, and the whole car would be defrosted in a half an hour at like 0.2 cents a minute.

... thread drift ...

[Elliot]

I wish the auto manufacturers would read this.
My Dodge makes this horribly screeching loud beeping noise "whenever I blink". I get out of the car to open and close the gate -- beep beep beep.... In the evening I leave the lights on so I can see to close the gate -- beep beep beep, unless I leave the engine running burning more fuel.
Sometimes the burglar alarm goes off even though I unlock the door with the usual key. I disconnected to horn the second day I owned the thing.

But my 1998 is nothing compared with the brand new ones we drive on Perimeter patrol. Door locks open and lock by themselves randomly. Lights likewise.
We had an emergency and needed to get up to a bit of speed, and the engine shut down. Turned out the computer noticed the tires were spinning a little (of course, in that loose dirt!) and wanted to save us from ourselves. (Later we learned there is a switch to shut that nonsense off, but criminy....)

Even my brother's 1990 model! I start it, the heat-A/C blower comes on by itself. I shut it off. Next time I start it, the blower comes on by itself. Nuts.

Well, I'm preaching to the choir. We should be writing this to the manufacturers.

[Ratty]

Just a thought. After my tent filled up with dust in 2012 I vowed never to leave it open again. I'm in and out of the tent 20, 30, a million times a day. In my van there is a fleece curtain to keep out the dust yet leave the side door open. I'm going to sew a fleece blanket on the outside of my tent extending over the sides of the door. I can leave it unzipped and get in and out easily without letting in all the dust. Now, if I can just remember to zip it when I leave camp.

[Captain Goddammit]

I absolutely hate all that automated everything-tied-to-the-computer shit in new cars. It's eventually going to fail, sometimes sooner than later, and everything about maintaining the thing is a bitch and a half.
Not only that, but I want the thing to do what I want, when I want. Not what and when the car decides.

But it's never going back. The car makers have to compete with the others... if Ford's car can park itself, Toyota and GM better counter with something. If one company's cars havent got backup cameras, auto memory power seats, and a holographic full-sensation blow job slave that services the driver every day, they won't sell cars because Brand X's model does all that.

Have you noticed they don't advertise anything about new cars anymore except how much electronic and computer shit they have onboard?

Guys aren't into cars anymore. We are a minority nowadays. Todays buyers want all that shit. Good luck.

[unjonharley]

I absolutely hate all that automated everything-tied-to-the-computer shit in new cars. It's eventually going to fail, sometimes sooner than later, and everything about maintaining the thing is a bitch and a half.
Not only that, but I want the thing to do what I want, when I want. Not what and when the car decides.

But it's never going back. The car makers have to compete with the others... if Ford's car can park itself, Toyota and GM better counter with something. If one company's cars havent got backup cameras, auto memory power seats, and a holographic full-sensation blow job slave that services the driver every day, they won't sell cars because Brand X's model does all that.

Have you noticed they don't advertise anything about new cars anymore except how much electronic and computer shit they have onboard?

Guys aren't into cars anymore. We are a minority nowadays. Todays buyers want all that shit. Good luck.

I want my Model A back.. Up draft carb. No fuel pump. No spark plug wires. Set your own spark for best mpg.. Head/tail lights with real bulbs. Water pump you could repair yourself.. Heated cab from the engine. And 2 40 A/C, open 2 windows and drive 40 mph..

[Savannah]

I have at least two friends who have those backup cameras and they give me the creeps. I understand that they're probably a godsend to some, but it seems like they could get dependent on it (then have it fail) or that they could let it account completely for their awareness when backing up, and they could hit something or someone.

[robbidobbs]

Brilliant. So what do you do when the rapist in the parking garage wants to open your door as you sit there?

Side note: I hate all that automated shit on newer cars. It's all going to malfunction at some point.
The more things there are TO go wrong, the more WILL.

I lock the door! They all lock just fine w a button on the inside.
Although I like the key innovation, I still don't trust electric windows. What if you had an accident where you had to get out thru a window but the car wasn't on?

[Captain Goddammit]

I have at least two friends who have those backup cameras and they give me the creeps. I understand that they're probably a godsend to some, but it seems like they could get dependent on it (then have it fail) or that they could let it account completely for their awareness when backing up, and they could hit something or someone.

Exactly!!!!!

I never forgot my high school (Shorecrest, for those of you in Seattle) driver's ed teacher's bet with all of us: "The first accident you have will be when you're backing up"!
Pro drivers generally back into parking spaces. I highly recommend this. Why? Well I'll tell ya...
Mainly it's so you don't have to back out! Here's the deal; while you're already out in the aisle you can see what's going on and who's coming. And no traffic will be coming out of the empty parking space.
If you pull in forward, you have to back out, often blinded by the cars or trucks or vans beside you. And ANYTHING that happens while you were backing up is YOUR liability. The car backing up is always at fault.
Sure pulling in forward is easier. But, then you have to back out, so the easy factor evens out in the big picture.
OK, when you go to Costco you wanna pull in forward so you can load up all your shit... but other than that, you'd be better off always backing in.
Also, every now and then you need to turn as you back out. One day you'll forget that your front end swings to the side when backing up and you'll crunch some sheet metal.

[Ratty]

I bought the 'base model' Toyota van last year. I didn't want all that electricity. Gps, cameras, Dvds, Thermometer, etc....And it still annoys me that it has a brain. It locks itself. The headlights go off after a while when I cut the engine. Hey! I was using those lights. Child locks that lock me in. Rear windows that only go down half way. Only one key hole on the entire outside of the car. 'Active' headrests that hit you in the back of the head. (Not so restful.) Digital tuning on the radio that doesn't have fine tuning. 20 different speeds of wipers. The entire interior is plastic so I can't use a magnet anywhere. The dash is so big and useless. The rear window has an overhang that prevents you from washing the top 2 inches with a squeegee. And 50 other crappy features. The Dodge Caravan was a much better car but after 2 vans 3 trannys I gave up.

It's a good van but I do long for the simpler times. I settled on this one because the cargo area has a flat surface and it's very roomy.

BTW Did you know that those giant windows are just for show? The actual windows are very small. Just covered with a big piece of tinted glass.

[Elliot]

I have at least two friends who have those backup cameras and they give me the creeps. I understand that they're probably a godsend to some, but it seems like they could get dependent on it (then have it fail) or that they could let it account completely for their awareness when backing up, and they could hit something or someone.

Inconvenience and bother and annoyance aside, this is the biggie with all the "electronic driver aids".

[Captain Goddammit]

Digital tuning on the radio that doesn't have fine tuning.

Actually with the digital tuning you're already tuned in correctly, the problem is that the modern radio receivers - particularly on AM - suck. It's not your imagination that the old car AM radios could pull in stations clearly and somewhat reliably.

BTW Did you know that those giant windows are just for show? The actual windows are very small. Just covered with a big piece of tinted glass.

That's just about every newer car... yeah I hate that.
I should do a 360-degree cell-phone video-cam sweep inside my 1955 Chevy and post it. You can actually see out in every direction!

[FIGJAM]

Buy some bulk bungee cord.

About 25' in a couple of sizes is pretty cheap.

You can get real good UV quality cord to fix your busted balls and the 3/8" is exelent for replacing the rubbber on the bigger metal hook bungees.

[Toe]

Chalk board.

White board markers get gunked up with dust. Chalk is inherently dust based, and cheap AF.

[fastgaz]

Your own composting toilet. 5 gal bucket, line it with a garbage bag. Get a toilet seat made for 5 gal bucket. Get a brick of coconut coir.

After you do #2, put a handful of moistened coir and cover it up. No smell even in BRC heat, no trip to the porta-potty. Really.

[unjonharley]

Your own composting toilet. 5 gal bucket, line it with a garbage bag. Get a toilet seat made for 5 gal bucket. Get a brick of coconut coir.

After you do #2, put a handful of moistened coir and cover it up. No smell even in BRC heat, no trip to the porta-potty. Really.

Urin makes the strong odder.. Take that to the porta-pot s . So now you have bucket pot and a urinal. Goood to go ..