Fun Things to do At Wal-Mart in Reno

[Simon of the Playa]

Dear Mrs. XXXXX,

Over the past six months, your husband has caused quite a commotion in our store. We cannot tolerate this behavior and have been forced to ban both of you from the store. Our complaints against your husband, Mr. XXXXX, are listed below and are "documented by our video surveillance cameras":

1. June 15: He took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in other people's carts when they weren't looking.

2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5- minute intervals.

3. July 7: He made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the women's restroom.

4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official voice, 'Code 3 in Housewares. Get on it right away'. This caused the employee to leave her assigned station and receive a reprimand from her Supervisor that in turn resulted in management getting involved causing management to lose time and costing the company money.

5. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and tried to reserve a bag of chips.

6. August 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

7. August 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told the children shoppers they could come in if they would bring pillows and blankets from the bedding department - to which twenty children obliged.

8. August 23: When a clerk asked if they could help him he began crying and screamed, 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?' Emergency Medics were called.

9. September 4: Looked right into the security camera and used it as a mirror while he picked his nose. 10. September

10: While handling guns in the Sports department, he asked the clerk where the antidepressants were.

11. October 3: Darted around the Store suspiciously while loudly humming the ' Mission Impossible' theme.

12. October 6: In the auto department, he practiced his 'Madonna look' by using different sizes of funnels.

13. October 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed through, yelled 'PICK ME! PICK ME!'

14. October 22: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he assumed the fetal position and screamed 'OH NO! IT'S THOSE VOICES AGAIN!

15. Took a box of condoms to the checkout clerk and asked where the fitting room was. And last, but not least:

16. October 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited awhile, and then yelled very loudly, 'Hey! There's no toilet paper in here.' One of the Staff passed out

[theCryptofishist]

Some of that sounds like harassment of low-wage personnel who are already getting shit from the whole corporate structure. Can't we play pranks that don't, in essence, pick on those who don't have much power?

[9ah]

Like moving all the bibles to the fiction section?

[Roberto Dobbisano]

so we should do these things in the casinos?

or just to the Nevada Highway Patrol...





i'm open to suggestions.

[ygmir]

yeah crappy stuff to do to folks who have a tough job as it is. It does not hurt "walmart", it hurts those having to deal with some ass hat who thinks they are "sticking it to the man" and patting themselves on the self-righteous back for being so witty.

I'd bet the managers of those stores are nowhere near "rich". so, how about being productive and kind, and just lead by example?
You don't like places that sell Chinese "shit"? don't buy it. But, if you own one thing similar, you have no moral ground to deride others for living life as they see fit.

wanna protest? go jump in the cove in Japan and take a spear for a dolphin.

[tamarakay]

Um, I didn't take him seriously.

[tamarakay]

Funniest one i saw was the hannity book placed in amongst the summers Eve products.

[MacGlenver]

Um, I didn't take him seriously.

^ that. Me like Simon's funny ideas!

[Savannah]

Funniest one i saw was the hannity book placed in amongst the summers Eve products.

Hahaha!

. . . I will occasionally go to the cake mixes and turn the Pineapple Upside Down Cake upside down.

An old morning radio show used to once or twice a month have people call in and excitedly talk about which store they were in and what time it was when they did it. (I'm told the idea originated somewhere else, and as dumb as it is, it continues to make me laugh.)

[AntiM]

I want to sneak in googly eyes and stick them on all the eggs in one carton. I think it would take too long... unless I took the carton, and doctored the eggs as I walked around, then put the carton back.

[theCryptofishist]

Now that's funny...

[Sunbeam56]

Making work for the little man... job security.
Seriously. Leave your cart in the parking lot next to your car. Its someone's job to tote them back into the store... and if everyone took them back (like I usually do) those guys wouldn't have a job.

True story: I used to go to a grocery store. There was a grocery bag boy who was genuinely what we used to call retarded before the politically correct police changed that term to "intellectually challenged". Got to know him. Used to pick my grocery line by whether he was bagging or not. He married a similarly borderline intellectual person, and they had a NORMAL child. In Texas there are social services that help the challenged raise normal kids. I helped him get into the program. Last I heard they were doing well.

We need ditch diggers, and we need grocery bag boys. Give them a job - make a bloody mess in aisle 5.

[Thecatman]

Number 16
Sounds like something Earl Pitts might do.

[MyDearFriend]

There's a Wal-Mart in Reno?

[C187]

The one in Fernley has some nice employees. It seems like some of them have a hoot hearing about where everyone is from.

[fernley1]

Thats how we roll in Fernley, or as we locals call it Ferntucky.

[Ratty]

9ah, I got kicked out of my volunteer job for doing just that. I was giving 20 hours a week to St. Vincent De Paul thrift store for 5 years. When I reorganized the book rooms they 'lost it'. Dirty, closed minded Christians. My Karma ran over my Dogma. They gave me the boot.

[GreyCoyote]

9ah, I got kicked out of my volunteer job for doing just that. I was giving 20 hours a week to St. Vincent De Paul thrift store for 5 years. When I reorganized the book rooms they 'lost it'. Dirty, closed minded Christians. My Karma ran over my Dogma. They gave me the boot.

50 weeks per year x 20 hrs/week x 5 years. That's 5,000 hours of free labor. Ouch.

At least the ungrateful schmucks didn't burn you at the stake as a witch. "Burn, Burner, burn!!!"

[9ah]

Damn, Ratty. You should invoice them for your service... I kidd... But that was pretty crappy! I hope you volunteer at a place that appreciates you.

[Roberto Dobbisano]

[media]