Post
by Elliot » Tue Jun 13, 2006 2:06 pm
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(Click, hummm...)
Announcer:
...We interrupt the Children’s Fairytale Hour to bring you breaking news from
Valhall. Please stand by for a live report.
(static, buzzing, click, click)
Reporter:
I am in the Press Room at Valhall where a startling development has taken
place. At approximately 13:00 hours today, Chief Valkyrie Gunnhild tendered her
resignation to take a post in the private sector. Such a voluntary resignation of
the prestigious lifetime appointment is unheard of in recorded history. Gunnhild
issued only a brief statement to the effect that she has accepted a position with a
civilian entity called Camp Herring, and that as a private citizen again, she will
finally be able to marry the man she has always adored -- one Elliot of Clearlake,
California. The wedding is scheduled for late August in Black Rock City, Nevada.
Further details are not available at this time. Back to the studio.
Announcer:
We have on the telephone the noted expert in battlefield warrior-retrieval,
Professor A. R. Mageddon. Professor, what sort of civilian opportunity can there
possibly be for a Valkyrie who has already reached the pinnacle of her career?
Professor Mageddon:
Well, it is not entirely clear yet what has happened, but we believe this is related
to the upcoming Apokilipse. We do know that the fiery Doom of the World is
expected soon, and we do know that this event will likely be centered in or near
Black Rock City -- specifically at a location known as Kamp Apokiliptika. So we
surmise that Gunnhild has been hired either to take charge of retrieving the entire
population of Earth from the battlefield all in one day, which would be quite a
promotion indeed, or, possibly, considering her professed affiliation with Camp
Herring, to prevent Doom in the first place. If this latter is the case, then such a
dramatic reversal of career philosophy would likely be a result her marriage.