Best Line Today

Elorrum · Post by **Elorrum** » Sat Jul 10, 2010 9:03 am

ygmir wrote:
C.f.M. wrote:I like my women like I like my toast. Hot and slathered in butter.
Brando fan, CFM?...............

David steinberg had a great bit on this tango scene. "wouldn't it have been so cool, if they said the brand of the margarine where the trumpets blare and a crown appears on his head?" point if you can name the brand... I forgot.

ygmir · Post by **ygmir** » Sat Jul 10, 2010 9:06 am

hahaha, Elorrum.......a perfect picture..............

[youtube][/youtube]

Elorrum · Post by **Elorrum** » Sat Jul 10, 2010 9:51 am

thanks yg. You are a good trivian.

gyre · Post by **gyre** » Sat Jul 10, 2010 12:12 pm

"Most of the time, I just want to staple things to her head."

Thecatman · Post by **Thecatman** » Sat Jul 10, 2010 10:13 pm

Elorrum wrote:thanks yg. You are a good trivian.

He's just dating himself, and
others, including me

ygmir · Post by **ygmir** » Sat Jul 10, 2010 10:18 pm

Thecatman wrote:
Elorrum wrote:thanks yg. You are a good trivian.
He's just dating himself, and
others, including me

I may well be dating myself.......being single........but, I've never asked you out..........

Trishntek · Post by **Trishntek** » Sat Jul 10, 2010 10:44 pm

The reason I don't talk much is because I'm too busy talking myself out of shit all day long - Jake Johannsen

Thecatman · Post by **Thecatman** » Sun Jul 11, 2010 10:49 am

A few weeks ago I went to the PetCo store in Douglas county.

I purchased several cans of name brand cat food and a few cans of some allegedly organic cat food. The opening conversation between myself and the cashier went something like this:

Cashier: Did you find everything OK?

Me: Sure did.

She, the cashier gets to the allegedly organic cat food and asked
Have you tried this yet?

Me: No and neither have my cats.

Cashier:

I did'nt mean it that way
Nothing else said until she is done bagging everything

Cashier: Thank you..will you let us know how you liked this brand of organic cat food?

Me: No but I'll gladly bring one of my cats in and he/she can tell you

Cashier:

You're not going to drop that are you?

Me: laughing with her, I'll let you know how they liked it, Cya

geekster · Post by **geekster** » Sun Jul 11, 2010 2:32 pm

"I'll tell you the difference between Saddam's era and now," said one guy.
"During Saddam's time, everyone was frightened. We couldn't talk because the government was listening." Everyone nodded. "Now," the guy said to an attentive group, "now everyone talks but the government doesn't listen."

Trishntek · Post by **Trishntek** » Sun Jul 11, 2010 7:42 pm

Truth is the currency of love

FaeTora · Post by **FaeTora** » Sun Jul 11, 2010 7:46 pm

Him: "big tits"?

Me: no..."Ditz."

geekster · Post by **geekster** » Sun Jul 11, 2010 8:17 pm

After Nigeria was eliminated from the world cup The Nigerian goalkeeper has personally offered to refund all the expenses of fans who travelled to South Africa.

He said he just needs their bank details and pin numbers to complete the transaction.

geekster · Post by **geekster** » Tue Jul 13, 2010 3:23 am

I touch the face of forever with a hug and a kiss every morning. Some things ARE worth defending.

ygmir · Post by **ygmir** » Sun Jul 18, 2010 8:26 am

Gah... trying to talk sense to you is like masturbating with a jigsaw.

Dr. Pyro · Post by **Dr. Pyro** » Sun Jul 18, 2010 12:34 pm

...running to get jigsaw to see for myself...

gyre · Post by **gyre** » Sun Jul 18, 2010 9:53 pm

So now I have a lion.

"Does it bite?"

Of course it bites.
It's a lion.

gyre · Post by **gyre** » Sun Jul 25, 2010 1:40 am

It worked!
It worked!

Now if we can just keep it from exploding....

"Wait, what?"

from Real Genius
chemically generated ice about to go from solid to gas

geekster · Post by **geekster** » Mon Jul 26, 2010 12:50 pm

"Well, ya see, it's like this. A herd of buffalo can only move as fast as the slowest buffalo, and when the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones in the back that are killed first. This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole because the general speed and health of the entire group keeps improving by the regular killing of the weakest members! In much the same way, the human brain can only operate as fast as the slowest brain cells. Excessive intake of alcohol, as we know, kills brain cells but naturally, it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first. In this way, regular consumption of beer eliminates the weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and more efficient machine! That's why you always feel smarter after a few beers.

-- Cliff

ygmir · Post by **ygmir** » Mon Jul 26, 2010 5:01 pm

"the only brain cells I have left, are the survivors"

FaeTora · Post by **FaeTora** » Mon Jul 26, 2010 6:36 pm

A guy I know. "I forgot how my feet worked."

theCryptofishist · Post by **theCryptofishist** » Mon Jul 26, 2010 7:00 pm

*silence*

Box Burner · Post by **Box Burner** » Mon Jul 26, 2010 9:16 pm

Silence! All of you. I demand silence. . . Now somebody tell me what's going on here.

FaeTora · Post by **FaeTora** » Mon Jul 26, 2010 9:26 pm

Eye eYE Captain :::hiccups::

geekster · Post by **geekster** » Mon Jul 26, 2010 9:31 pm

Sometimes when I reflect on all the beer I drink, I feel ashamed. Then I look into the glass and think about the workers in the brewery and all their hopes and dreams. If I didn't drink this beer, they might be out of work and their dreams would be shattered. I think, "It is better to drink this beer and let their dreams come true than be selfish and worry about my liver."
-- Babe Ruth

Fire_Moose · Post by **Fire_Moose** » Tue Jul 27, 2010 8:25 am

TheJason: "liek wizard of oz and pink floyd... but staggers and tranny porn...."

Frankenstipe · Post by **Frankenstipe** » Tue Jul 27, 2010 8:54 am

EVERYBODY LEAVE, I HAVE TO POOP.....NOW!!!!!! - Pea-Tear-Gryphon

Trishntek · Post by **Trishntek** » Sun Aug 01, 2010 8:54 pm

Never thought I was smart enough to get depressed, but here I am! - Jason Stackhouse, True Blood

geekster · Post by **geekster** » Sun Aug 01, 2010 9:23 pm

Ewww, it has like these big round boogers in it!

My son, this morning, experiencing his first "pearl drink".

gyre · Post by **gyre** » Tue Aug 03, 2010 4:35 am

On camera with abc news while on the phone,

"Who the fuck authorized that?"
"Oops"

One of the loiusiana guys dealing with BP and stray oil.

gerlachedNloaded · Post by **gerlachedNloaded** » Tue Aug 03, 2010 6:01 am

wally world bathroom...
Man to young son who was struggling to tear off a piece of paper towel...

"Yank it like ya do mommy's hair ya damn pussy".

end scene.