Fast: The Pier needs rules

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fbcota
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Fast: The Pier needs rules

Postby fbcota » Mon Aug 01, 2011 10:57 pm

Ok, I need rules. Here is what we have so far:

1. There are lots of splinters.
2. Please Trespass. Its fun.
3. No Barnacle poaching!
4. Hippie fishing strictly encouraged.
5. No Segways. Try selling them and
make some art with the money.
6. Smile.
7. Catch and release recommended.
8. Clothing optional.
9. Reasoning optional.
10. Seahorseplay allowed.
11. Mermaids like booze.

Go!!!

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lemur
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Re: Fast: The Pier needs rules

Postby lemur » Mon Aug 01, 2011 11:05 pm

do not catch on fire.
Don't link to anything here!

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fbcota
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Re: Fast: The Pier needs rules

Postby fbcota » Mon Aug 01, 2011 11:14 pm

I like that. Just added:

1. There are lots of splinters.
2. Please Trespass. Its fun.
3. No Barnacle poaching!
4. Hippie fishing strictly encouraged.
5. No Segways. Try selling them and
making some art with the money.
6. Smile.
7. Catch and release recommended.
8. Clothing optional.
9. Reasoning optional.
10. Seahorseplay allowed.
11. Mermaids like booze.
12. CLIMBING!!!
13. Warning: Snark infested waters.
14. Please pick up MOOP.
15. Sparkleponies must be leashed.
16. Enlightenment...400 feet ahead.
17. Put pants on or take shirt off.
18. Do not overload. Pier will give in
to peer pressure.
19. Don’t fall. It may ruin your burn

HeartOfJuly
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Re: Fast: The Pier needs rules

Postby HeartOfJuly » Tue Aug 02, 2011 12:33 am

Ok, gotta ask, wtf is a Sparkle Pony?
"May those who love us, love us. And for those who don't love us, may God turn their hearts. And if he can not turn their hearts, may he turn their ankles, so we may know them by their limping."

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Re: Fast: The Pier needs rules

Postby Eric » Tue Aug 02, 2011 12:34 am

fbcota wrote:I like that. Just added:

1. There are lots of splinters.
2. Please Trespass. Its fun.
3. No Barnacle poaching!
4. Hippie fishing strictly encouraged.
5. No Segways. They make your ass look fat
6. Smile.
7. Catch and release recommended.
8. Clothing optional.
9. Reasoning optional.
10. Seahorseplay allowed.
11. Mermaids like booze.
12. CLIMBING!!!
13. Warning: Snark infested waters.
14. Please pick up MOOP.
15. Sparkleponies must be leashed.
16. Enlightenment...400 feet ahead.
17. Put pants on or take shirt off.
18. Do not overload. Pier will give in
to peer pressure.
19. Don’t fall. It may ruin your burn
It's a camping trip in the desert, not the redemption of the fallen world - Cryptofishist

Regarding Scammers & Scalpers
Please read above link for all official information.

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Ass't Editor, BRC Weekly

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capjbadger
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Re: Fast: The Pier needs rules

Postby capjbadger » Tue Aug 02, 2011 12:51 am

HeartOfJuly wrote:Ok, gotta ask, wtf is a Sparkle Pony?

http://tinyurl.com/44dhq5w

-Badger
Arrrggg!! Avast ye fucking fluffy bunny shirtcockers! Haul your drunken hairy fat ass out of our sight or prepare to receive a hot buttered hedgehog fired up your aft quarters!

Honey Badger don't care. Honey Badger don't give a shit!

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Re: Fast: The Pier needs rules

Postby gaminwench » Tue Aug 02, 2011 12:53 am

Diving??!!!????
"the prophecies of doom were better last year" trilo

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Re: Fast: The Pier needs rules

Postby graidawg » Tue Aug 02, 2011 12:55 am

capjbadger wrote:
HeartOfJuly wrote:Ok, gotta ask, wtf is a Sparkle Pony?

http://tinyurl.com/44dhq5w

-Badger


oh badger that is a whole different class of snark *let me google that for you* pahahahahahahaha oh my *wipes tears from eyes* screen wipes please
FREE THE SHERPAS
Burners with torches is right and natural and just.-fishy.
CATCH AND RELEASE.

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Re: Fast: The Pier needs rules

Postby capjbadger » Tue Aug 02, 2011 3:20 am

graidawg wrote:
capjbadger wrote:
HeartOfJuly wrote:Ok, gotta ask, wtf is a Sparkle Pony?

http://tinyurl.com/44dhq5w

-Badger


oh badger that is a whole different class of snark *let me google that for you* pahahahahahahaha oh my *wipes tears from eyes* screen wipes please

One of my favorite tools. ;)

-Badger
Arrrggg!! Avast ye fucking fluffy bunny shirtcockers! Haul your drunken hairy fat ass out of our sight or prepare to receive a hot buttered hedgehog fired up your aft quarters!

Honey Badger don't care. Honey Badger don't give a shit!

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Sic Pup
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Re: Fast: The Pier needs rules

Postby Sic Pup » Tue Aug 02, 2011 3:27 am

fbcota wrote:I like that. Just added:
17. Put pants on or take shirt off.


Love it!

No muff diving

or alternatively:

Muff diving only
"Enjoy every sandwich" - W. Zevon

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Drawingablank
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Re: Fast: The Pier needs rules

Postby Drawingablank » Tue Aug 02, 2011 6:34 am

capjbadger wrote:
HeartOfJuly wrote:Ok, gotta ask, wtf is a Sparkle Pony?

http://tinyurl.com/44dhq5w

-Badger


That really made my day. +100
Savannah: I don't know what it is, but no thread here escapes alive. You'll get 1 or 2 real answers at minimum, occasionally 10 or 12, and then we flog it until it's unrecognizable and you can't get your deposit back.

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Re: Fast: The Pier needs rules

Postby Bob » Tue Aug 02, 2011 8:31 am

No catching or giving crabs.
Beware of hippie traps.

Re: Segways -- if you advertised on Kickstarter or otherwise got an art grant, the guys on Segways are probably some of your patrons. Go ahead and mock them if you really want to look like a bigger idiot than they are.
Amazing desert structures & stuff: http://sites.google.com/site/potatotrap/

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TailsCut
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Re: Fast: The Pier needs rules

Postby TailsCut » Tue Aug 02, 2011 9:06 am

In the spirit of #15: Unattended sparkle ponies will be given espresso and a puppy.

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Re: Fast: The Pier needs rules

Postby theCryptofishist » Tue Aug 02, 2011 9:10 am

You have to have a size limit on your catch, or a number limit or a license requirement.

All hippies under 4' must be thrown back. Or used as bait, because we don't want the hippies to get bigger and breed. I'm not sure which.

No more than 2 hippies each (you can't afford to keep more)
Or in the San Francisco Bay they have signs about not eating your catch, because there's mercury and other toxins. Riff off that?
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Man, no wonder they always win....." Lonesomebri

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fbcota
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Re: Fast: The Pier needs rules

Postby fbcota » Tue Aug 02, 2011 10:24 am

Badger: That was hilarious

Bob: I am known for biting the hand that feeds :). Sorry something about the undecorated segways rolling around the playa really irk me. And something about the handful of people I have seen standing on their segways, watching the man burn, touring the temple or just otherwise being glued to them seems to irk me even more. I'm not a fan of segways, to me they represent a level of elitist lazyness that I cannot and will not encourage.

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Re: Fast: The Pier needs rules

Postby The CO » Tue Aug 02, 2011 11:36 am

Do not eat the Brown Trout.

5 MPH-NO WAKE!
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When I ask how many burns, I mean at BRC.

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Re: Fast: The Pier needs rules

Postby Bob » Tue Aug 02, 2011 11:52 am

USE HERRING PROTECTION.

Image
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Re: Fast: The Pier needs rules

Postby capjbadger » Tue Aug 02, 2011 12:12 pm

Maximum Two-stroke Outboards
(any more strokes is just masturbating)

-Badger
Arrrggg!! Avast ye fucking fluffy bunny shirtcockers! Haul your drunken hairy fat ass out of our sight or prepare to receive a hot buttered hedgehog fired up your aft quarters!

Honey Badger don't care. Honey Badger don't give a shit!

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Re: Fast: The Pier needs rules

Postby Bob » Tue Aug 02, 2011 12:23 pm

NO EDGE WEAPONS.

Image
Amazing desert structures & stuff: http://sites.google.com/site/potatotrap/

"Let us say I suggest you may be human." -- Reverend Mother Gaius Helen Mohiam

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Re: Fast: The Pier needs rules

Postby Bob » Tue Aug 02, 2011 12:27 pm

NO TRANSPORTING WHILST PLANKING.

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Re: Fast: The Pier needs rules

Postby Alfaj0r » Wed Aug 03, 2011 8:56 am

People usually don't read an entire long list, so make sure that if people are going to read only 3, they're the MUST KNOWS... Like: Don't dive, don't set on fire, watch for splinters. And then everything else.

Also, if the sign is going to say "rules", then you need to word things as rules. Just to nitpick, two examples:
fbcota wrote:I like that. Just added:
6. Smile.
8. Clothing optional.


6 is a good rule. It tells you what to do. 8 is not a rule, it's a statement. I'd suggest either re-wording it as a command ("Wear clothes. Or not any at all.") or to put a different sign up with Tips for Enjoyment of this Pier.

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fbcota
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Re: Fast: The Pier needs rules

Postby fbcota » Wed Aug 03, 2011 11:32 pm

Your nit picking can be damned, damned to hell and damned to hell again,... ohh yea we already sent it to the printers.

I think clothing optional is a fine rule. We don't need no stinkin shirts,...they will be stinkin


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