"One Item" for Idiots--Bad Playa Prep

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theCryptofishist
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"One Item" for Idiots--Bad Playa Prep

Post by theCryptofishist » Sun Jul 28, 2013 7:03 pm

Quadruple your salt intake so you don't lose too many electrolytes.

Practice walking around naked in your neighborhood.
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"The powerful are exploiting people, art and ideas, and this leads to us plebes debating how to best ration ice.
Man, no wonder they always win....." Lonesomebri

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Box Burner
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Re: "One Item" for Idiots--Bad Playa Prep

Post by Box Burner » Sun Jul 28, 2013 7:12 pm

If you plan to spend some time on a party barge you should have a few drinks and practice dancing in the aisle on the public transit.
Dance in the heart of chaos. . . . .

ὁ δὲ ἀνεξέταστος βίος οὐ βιωτὸς ἀνθρώπῳ
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - --- Σωκράτης

.

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GreyCoyote
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Re: "One Item" for Idiots--Bad Playa Prep

Post by GreyCoyote » Sun Jul 28, 2013 7:13 pm

Tell your boss to "Fuck yer day" and start drinking at 5 AM.
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Re: "One Item" for Idiots--Bad Playa Prep

Post by EspressoDude » Sun Jul 28, 2013 7:18 pm

wander downtown in a bikini and furry boots
Is 4 shots enuff? no foo-foo drinks; just naked Espresso
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Re: "One Item" for Idiots--Bad Playa Prep

Post by lemur » Sun Jul 28, 2013 7:21 pm

buy a costume from your local costume shop, so that you can participate at burning man.
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Re: "One Item" for Idiots--Bad Playa Prep

Post by FIGJAM » Sun Jul 28, 2013 7:23 pm

Smile and start up conversations with random strangers about the wierd shit you saw today. 8)
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Re: "One Item" for Idiots--Bad Playa Prep

Post by lemur » Sun Jul 28, 2013 7:24 pm

make eye contact with strangers.
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Savannah
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Re: "One Item" for Idiots--Bad Playa Prep

Post by Savannah » Sun Jul 28, 2013 7:30 pm

Hover over (and pee on) your own damned toilet seat . . .
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maryanimal
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Re: "One Item" for Idiots--Bad Playa Prep

Post by maryanimal » Sun Jul 28, 2013 7:45 pm

Practice chasing water trucks naked to wash up.
Sometimes I'm confused by what I think is really obvious. But what I think is really obvious obviously isn't obvious.

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Re: "One Item" for Idiots--Bad Playa Prep

Post by Elorrum » Sun Jul 28, 2013 8:17 pm

Road use prep: Practice riding your bike drunk with a long robe, cape, or scarf hanging down. Don't worry about what side of the road you ride on, or where people are walking. Stop whenever you feel like it, wherever you are in the road. Do this with a group of friends. If you have the chance to practice walking down a road, wander all over in the road, and flip off the people who looked worried or angry. If it's night time, be sure to use no lights.
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Re: "One Item" for Idiots--Bad Playa Prep

Post by ygmir » Sun Jul 28, 2013 8:19 pm

practice methods to sneak your friend in.
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theCryptofishist
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Re: "One Item" for Idiots--Bad Playa Prep

Post by theCryptofishist » Sun Jul 28, 2013 8:21 pm

Practice holding your glow stick with your asshole. It's not as easy as you think, and a slight relaxation of the sphincter can result in its falling out. Or in.
The Lady with a Lamprey

"The powerful are exploiting people, art and ideas, and this leads to us plebes debating how to best ration ice.
Man, no wonder they always win....." Lonesomebri

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Re: "One Item" for Idiots--Bad Playa Prep

Post by lucky420 » Sun Jul 28, 2013 8:25 pm

Elorrum wrote:Road use prep: Practice riding your bike drunk with a long robe, cape, or scarf hanging down. Don't worry about what side of the road you ride on, or where people are walking. Stop whenever you feel like it, wherever you are in the road. Do this with a group of friends. If you have the chance to practice walking down a road, wander all over in the road, and flip off the people who looked worried or angry. If it's night time, be sure to use no lights.
:x
Oh my god, it's HUGE!

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Canoe
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Re: "One Item" for Idiots--Bad Playa Prep

Post by Canoe » Sun Jul 28, 2013 8:26 pm

ygmir wrote:practice methods to sneak your friend in.
once you've got it going good, take it up a notch by trying the u.s./mexico border...
Video games are giving kids unrealistic expectations on how many swords they can carry.
.
... but don't harm the red dragon that frequents the area from time to time. He and I have an agreement.

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Re: "One Item" for Idiots--Bad Playa Prep

Post by BBadger » Sun Jul 28, 2013 9:38 pm

Practice driving your massive, firebreathing mutant vehicle on city roads -- driving only 5mph. Better yet, the freeway.
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Re: "One Item" for Idiots--Bad Playa Prep

Post by gaminwench » Sun Jul 28, 2013 11:02 pm

practice holding 'it';

while negotiating a potty stop with the driver/captain of the vehicle in which you are currently trapped riding.
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Re: "One Item" for Idiots--Bad Playa Prep

Post by Sham » Mon Jul 29, 2013 12:12 am

theCryptofishist wrote:Practice holding your glow stick with your asshole. It's not as easy as you think, and a slight relaxation of the sphincter can result in its falling out. Or in.
It would seem that someone who is an uptight asshole, could hold their glow stick forever. The extremely uptight may need surgery to remove.

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Re: "One Item" for Idiots--Bad Playa Prep

Post by graidawg » Mon Jul 29, 2013 3:05 am

Discuss with strangers the relative merits of burning stuff vs blowing it up, then just hold out your cup at the bar for a refill, when filled just say "fuck your day" and walk away
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Re: "One Item" for Idiots--Bad Playa Prep

Post by AntiM » Mon Jul 29, 2013 5:41 am

Rummage through your neighbor's kitchen for food and booze. Leave mardi gras beads in return.

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Re: "One Item" for Idiots--Bad Playa Prep

Post by Simon of the Playa » Mon Jul 29, 2013 6:14 am

practice with the forklift pulling ravers up out of their K-Holes.
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Re: "One Item" for Idiots--Bad Playa Prep

Post by 171/348 » Mon Jul 29, 2013 6:21 am

Practice putting used baby whips in a ziploc bag and carrying them around all day instead of flushing them.



*edited after I read the other version of this thread
Last edited by 171/348 on Mon Jul 29, 2013 6:48 am, edited 1 time in total.

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Re: "One Item" for Idiots--Bad Playa Prep

Post by delle » Mon Jul 29, 2013 6:32 am

Cancel that babysitter. Bring the baby with you.

It can always stay in the car with the windows cracked while you party the day away. I can pretty much guarantee that if people don't become meddlesome, it'll only cry for the first little while then will silently await your leisurely return.
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She had blue skin, And so did he.
He kept it hid And so did she.
They searched for blue Their whole life through,
Then passed right by- And never knew.”

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Re: "One Item" for Idiots--Bad Playa Prep

Post by Sham » Mon Jul 29, 2013 6:50 am

Delle, I find that cracking the window only causes the kids to get dusty. Keep those windows rolled up tight, but make sure they have juice boxes so they don't die!

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Re: "One Item" for Idiots--Bad Playa Prep

Post by VultureChow » Mon Jul 29, 2013 6:57 am

Put on your hotpants and wander downtown asking random guys for "candy" and a place to sleep for the night.
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Re: "One Item" for Idiots--Bad Playa Prep

Post by BeeWeeDee » Mon Jul 29, 2013 1:43 pm

Practice putting used baby whips in a ziploc bag and carrying them around all day instead of flushing them.
Baby whips again!
The next morning you will wake up pretty much your old self except that a very unusual 16 hours will have been added to your store of life experience.

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Re: "One Item" for Idiots--Bad Playa Prep

Post by Savannah » Mon Jul 29, 2013 1:47 pm

BeeWeeDee wrote:
Practice putting used baby whips in a ziploc bag and carrying them around all day instead of flushing them.
Baby whips again!
I really had no idea that miniature bondage gear was trending upward quite this much!
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theCryptofishist
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Re: "One Item" for Idiots--Bad Playa Prep

Post by theCryptofishist » Mon Jul 29, 2013 2:05 pm

Today's babies are a hardy lot, looking for more than just cuddling to stimulate their skins.
The Lady with a Lamprey

"The powerful are exploiting people, art and ideas, and this leads to us plebes debating how to best ration ice.
Man, no wonder they always win....." Lonesomebri

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Re: "One Item" for Idiots--Bad Playa Prep

Post by Lonesomebri » Mon Jul 29, 2013 2:07 pm

Power up a generator somewhere inside your house, leave it on for a week. Pretend it's not there.

Find a group of 10 or more strangers, yell at them to sit down.

Tell bartenders to use their fingers when placing ice in your glass.

Practice your confrontational law enforcement interaction skills.

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theCryptofishist
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Re: "One Item" for Idiots--Bad Playa Prep

Post by theCryptofishist » Mon Jul 29, 2013 2:10 pm

Pack your sonic toothbrush, your hair dryer, your electric blanket, your satellite dish, your card shuffler, your food dryer, and your belt sander in your clothes dryer to save room.
The Lady with a Lamprey

"The powerful are exploiting people, art and ideas, and this leads to us plebes debating how to best ration ice.
Man, no wonder they always win....." Lonesomebri

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Re: "One Item" for Idiots--Bad Playa Prep

Post by Mr. Just Right » Mon Jul 29, 2013 2:18 pm

Stand by the road and yell, "SLOW THE FUCK DOWN!!" At everyone who drives by..

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