"One Item" for Idiots--Bad Playa Prep

[theCryptofishist]

Quadruple your salt intake so you don't lose too many electrolytes.

Practice walking around naked in your neighborhood.

[Box Burner]

If you plan to spend some time on a party barge you should have a few drinks and practice dancing in the aisle on the public transit.

[GreyCoyote]

Tell your boss to "Fuck yer day" and start drinking at 5 AM.

[EspressoDude]

wander downtown in a bikini and furry boots

[lemur]

buy a costume from your local costume shop, so that you can participate at burning man.

[FIGJAM]

Smile and start up conversations with random strangers about the wierd shit you saw today.

[lemur]

make eye contact with strangers.

[Savannah]

Hover over (and pee on) your own damned toilet seat . . .

[maryanimal]

Practice chasing water trucks naked to wash up.

[Elorrum]

Road use prep: Practice riding your bike drunk with a long robe, cape, or scarf hanging down. Don't worry about what side of the road you ride on, or where people are walking. Stop whenever you feel like it, wherever you are in the road. Do this with a group of friends. If you have the chance to practice walking down a road, wander all over in the road, and flip off the people who looked worried or angry. If it's night time, be sure to use no lights.

[ygmir]

practice methods to sneak your friend in.

[theCryptofishist]

Practice holding your glow stick with your asshole. It's not as easy as you think, and a slight relaxation of the sphincter can result in its falling out. Or in.

[lucky420]

Road use prep: Practice riding your bike drunk with a long robe, cape, or scarf hanging down. Don't worry about what side of the road you ride on, or where people are walking. Stop whenever you feel like it, wherever you are in the road. Do this with a group of friends. If you have the chance to practice walking down a road, wander all over in the road, and flip off the people who looked worried or angry. If it's night time, be sure to use no lights.

[Canoe]

practice methods to sneak your friend in.

once you've got it going good, take it up a notch by trying the u.s./mexico border...

[BBadger]

Practice driving your massive, firebreathing mutant vehicle on city roads -- driving only 5mph. Better yet, the freeway.

[gaminwench]

practice holding 'it';

while negotiating a potty stop with the driver/captain of the vehicle in which you are currently trapped riding.

[Sham]

Practice holding your glow stick with your asshole. It's not as easy as you think, and a slight relaxation of the sphincter can result in its falling out. Or in.

It would seem that someone who is an uptight asshole, could hold their glow stick forever. The extremely uptight may need surgery to remove.

[graidawg]

Discuss with strangers the relative merits of burning stuff vs blowing it up, then just hold out your cup at the bar for a refill, when filled just say "fuck your day" and walk away

[AntiM]

Rummage through your neighbor's kitchen for food and booze. Leave mardi gras beads in return.

[Simon of the Playa]

practice with the forklift pulling ravers up out of their K-Holes.

[171/348]

Practice putting used baby whips in a ziploc bag and carrying them around all day instead of flushing them.



*edited after I read the other version of this thread

[delle]

Cancel that babysitter. Bring the baby with you.

It can always stay in the car with the windows cracked while you party the day away. I can pretty much guarantee that if people don't become meddlesome, it'll only cry for the first little while then will silently await your leisurely return.

[Sham]

Delle, I find that cracking the window only causes the kids to get dusty. Keep those windows rolled up tight, but make sure they have juice boxes so they don't die!

[VultureChow]

Put on your hotpants and wander downtown asking random guys for "candy" and a place to sleep for the night.

[BeeWeeDee]

Practice putting used baby whips in a ziploc bag and carrying them around all day instead of flushing them.

Baby whips again!

[Savannah]

Practice putting used baby whips in a ziploc bag and carrying them around all day instead of flushing them.

Baby whips again!

I really had no idea that miniature bondage gear was trending upward quite this much!

[theCryptofishist]

Today's babies are a hardy lot, looking for more than just cuddling to stimulate their skins.

[Lonesomebri]

Power up a generator somewhere inside your house, leave it on for a week. Pretend it's not there.

Find a group of 10 or more strangers, yell at them to sit down.

Tell bartenders to use their fingers when placing ice in your glass.

Practice your confrontational law enforcement interaction skills.

[theCryptofishist]

Pack your sonic toothbrush, your hair dryer, your electric blanket, your satellite dish, your card shuffler, your food dryer, and your belt sander in your clothes dryer to save room.

[Mr. Just Right]

Stand by the road and yell, "SLOW THE FUCK DOWN!!" At everyone who drives by..