Best Line Today

[gyre]

Doesn't matter where it comes from if you like it.

Post more than one if you like.


"Promenade, you son of a bitch!"

[Cassidy]

"It's DefendOR!"

EDIT: dam, forgot quotes

[Cassidy]

Discussing wearing tutus on Tutu Tuesday, with a Virgin:

"Do they make those for men?"

"Sure. They wear them in Swan Lake." (ok, I made that part up... but then:)

"Oh....... I've never been there."




{{gasping-for-air-laughter ensues}}

[illy dilly]

Telling a guy I work with to try a sandwich shop down the street,
his response
"Na, I want something smothered in something"

[FIGJAM]

Deer hunting and 2 guys were setting up camp about 100ft. away. dark 30 and they had no lights showing. We hear "Throw me the knife".

[Trishntek]

When simply recalling Robert Duvall's line in "Apocalypse Now", "I love the smell of napalm in the morning." My neighbor replied,

"I didn't know palm trees smell different in the morning!"

[ygmir]

to a gal I was trying to impress with my music:

"do you like Jimi Hendrix"?

her reply:

I really don't like country music much.............

[FaeTora]

My Little Sister, "I heard of these great new bands: Green Day, Nirvana, and Depeche Mode. Have you heard of them?"

[oneeyeddick]

My new neighbors(from Alaska)

I say... " GOOD MORNING !!!"...@ 8:20 a.m.

She says..(in her houserobe and curlers)

" Every time you do that IT SHAKES OUR WHOLE HOUSE !! "

I find irony in this because they live in a trailor.
I wonder if they thought thier igloo was a house also???

[ygmir]

My new neighbors(from Alaska)

I say... " GOOD MORNING !!!"...@ 8:20 a.m.

She says..(in her houserobe and curlers)

" Every time you do that IT SHAKES OUR WHOLE HOUSE !! "

I find irony in this because they live in a trailor.
I wonder if they thought thier igloo was a house also???

I'm just guessing here, but, thinking there is more to your "good morning" and, a smile and friendly wave?

details, please..........

[FaeTora]

maybe he is yelling so loud that the earth beneatht hem shakes. Don't yell at BM, preparing for all situations may have gotten harder if you do.

[oneeyeddick]

it went something like this...

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k39cQyjt2zE[/youtube]

[Elderberry]

Read on Twitter: I just molested myself. I said no, but I knew I wanted it.

JK

[Elderberry]

Another one from Twitter: I don't mean to brag, but the tampons I wore in high school still fit.

JK

[ohCarie]

A sparkle pony who is a birgin this year said in response to my invitation to attend a BM planning get-together this weekend, "Nah, I mean it's only 4 days [that I'm camping in the desert when I have only done 2 weekend trips to powered campgrounds in 3 years]."

[gyre]

~My Name Is Earl~

On cold nights we slept like babies.
But this wasn't just because of the temperature.

Catalina: Gas leak, get up, you're all being poisoned.

Randy: Five more minutes.

Catalina: cheerfully... Five minutes, you'll be dead.

Randy: Four more minutes?

[Ranger Genius]

Re: the phrase "funny as hell:"

Actually, the only thing that's funny about hell is that people believe in it. Which is both funny and sad. Kinda like a smoking monkey.

[C.f.M.]

I like my women like I like my toast. Hot and slathered in butter.

[Fire_Moose]

Haha


"I like my wimmin like I like my coffee: Ground up and in the freezer"

[ygmir]

I like my women like I like my toast. Hot and slathered in butter.

Brando fan, CFM?...............

[C.f.M.]

I like my women like I like my toast. Hot and slathered in butter.

Brando fan, CFM?...............

I'm dairy free...I forget what that line was from. Whitest Kids You Know, maybe?

[ygmir]

I like my women like I like my toast. Hot and slathered in butter.

Brando fan, CFM?...............

I'm dairy free...I forget what that line was from. Whitest Kids You Know, maybe?

[303jewels]

''sounds like a skeleton having a wank in a biscuit tin''
(my cars engine)

[C.f.M.]

Oh, I knew you were referencing Last Tango. Hence my little advert. I meant my initial line about butter.

"I like my women like I like my coffee."

"Hot and dribbling in your lap?"

http://www.funnyordie.com/videos/85ed8d ... ben-garant

[ygmir]

just playin' along, CFM..........you are good.

[C.f.M.]

Fresh off the Transformus list, LIFE WORDS.

"Don't be stupid y'all."

[VeganChoirGirl]

I am an admin, sitting at my desk, heard my boss (who doesn't have children) say into his phone, "I'm going to have Care Bears and rainbow." I DEFINATELY want to know wtf that was about.

[Rice]

My 16 year old son's response to my offer to take him to BRC: "There is no way in HELL that I am going to that Hippie-Fest!!!"

me: "Are you sure?, there will be naked people there.", thinking that might sweeten the deal

him: "NO Fucking way!!!"

[FaeTora]

Today at work - "I don't know their last name, I'm just invited to the wedding."

[gyre]

"No experience required."

"No experience?
You've got a lot of that."